CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ

AUGUST/SEPTEMBER 1997

VOL. 9, NO. 3

 

THE NONMATERIALITY OF MATTER

 

RAJ: On a couple of previous occasions in other Gatherings, I have directed everyoneís attention to the windows of the room in which the Gathering was being held. And I have pointed out that the glass in the window, even though you think of it as something made from silicon and of it being material, is nothing more than a force field, in exactly the same sense that science fiction stories speak of generating a force field. It is an absolutely clear presence of a pattern of energy that has enough cohesiveness to it that it holds its shape and, if you lean upon it when it is thick enough, you will not break it.

 

If you employ your imagination a little bit, it is relatively easy for you to abandon the idea that the glass is matter, and consider the idea that indeed, it is a force fieldóa pattern of energy with sufficient cohesiveness for it to have a discernable, substantial presence.

 

For those of you who are sitting at the table over there, which has a glass top, and whose elbows or hands are on it, I want you to pay attention to your contact with it as though it were an energy field rather than a presence of matter. And the rest of you, I want you to imagine that you are touching a piece of glass. The reason for this exercise is to give you the opportunity to grasp, at least conceptually, that you can have a brand new experience of something with which you are completely familiar. You can touch the glass as though it has no physical substance to it whatsoever, and that it is pure energy. There is nothing material about it!

 

You could imagine a science fiction story that takes place in the future, where someone could mentally take an area in front of them and through the use of their thought, create a force field much like glass, that would be completely solid, completely clear and would support that oneís weight if one were to stand or sit on it. It is possible for you to conceive of that force field as pure energy. Now again, what I want you to realize is that the glass in the windows and the glass in the table is exactly that.

 

Why am I saying this? I am saying this so that you might realize that your very definite concepts of what everything is are not trueóare not absolute. And glass, as an energy field is a very simple way that all of you have to play with . . . not the idea, but the fact that what you think everything is isnít what it is and that there is a radically different way to experience it.

 

Now, I have a point Iím leading up to. You touch the piece of glass and itís easy for you to pay attention to it as though maybe it isnít glass, but that itís just energy in a recognizable, discernable pattern. What I want you to do now is to question what it is thatís touching the glass. Is it matter? Or, is your hand or your elbow or your body also energy pattern which has enough stability and cohesiveness to be recognizable, discernable and tangible, but which doesnít have a speck of matter to it?

 

I am sharing this with you in this way so that you might have a means of easily considering that your bodies are not organic, are not material, but, being pure energy, are expressions of something equally nonmaterialówhich is the Mind of God, the Prime Mover, the Creator. And the reason it remains in an identifiable pattern is because of the integrity of the Idea, which it expressesóand the Idea has integrity because God is "thinking" It, you might say.

 

This is so important because, if your body isnít matter, is insubstantial in the sense that itís pure energy, and the only substance it seems to have is because there is a cohesiveness of the Idea as it is held in the Mind of God, then it is obvious that if there is distortion of your bodyóif there is disease, if there is the evidence of accident, if there is evidence of anything less than exquisite beauty expressed by every portion of your bodyóyou are not stuck with it! The reason you are not stuck with it is because laws of matter are not what are holding it together, but the integrity behind the Idea that God has in Mind that looks like each of you and looks like that which identifies you, called your body.

 

If there is nothing material about your body, you donít have to wait for matter to change according to the laws of physics, which will take time. Even things that everyone believes are impossibleóif there is a shortened or amputated limb, a damaged eye with scar tissue that means that there will never be able to be sight thereóare not impossible. Why? Because the eye, the limb, whatever part of the body, is still held in the Mind of God as Godís Idea. It still has the integrity of the expression of God, and any lesser manifestation of the Presence of God than what I just described has not the means of maintaining its distorted appearance.

 

Healing can occur instantaneously because it doesnít take time for a pattern of energy to reconfigure. You see? It doesnít have to wait for atoms and matter to abide by regenerative processes of matter to arrive at a form of perfection and harmony that expresses what is really the truth about you. Again: The reason it doesnít have to take time is because none of it is matter, and it takes no force to shift patterns of energy.

 

Now, this might make it sound as though you could go to a catalog of body partsóI think you call them fashion magazinesóand pick out the design you would like best for you, and change your mind about your body and have it look like that.

 

What you need to understand is that any deformity you are experiencing is a result of exactly that process. Any dissonance, any disease, any distress that you are experiencing is being experienced because you have chosen a belief, an attitude, a concept about your body thatís inconsistent with the Idea that God has had, and is having at this moment, that causes you to Be!

 

So healing is not a result of your being able to have a creative idea about how you would like to look. It is, instead, abandoning ideas of how you would like to look, how you think you have to look, what you believe circumstances have forced you to look like. It is to abandon those, and say, "I would like to be experiencing the Idea that God has in Mind which is the reason I exist in the first place. I would like to experience Godís Idea, which is my presence. I would like to experience it the way God is intending it at this moment and at every moment. I yield up all of my conscious justifications for not looking utterly beautiful, for not having the manifestation of perfect health and perfect symmetry and perfect harmony. I yield them up and yield instead to Godís original, current Idea which is the Spirit that patterns the energy that makes me experienceable."

 

Youíve heard about glorifying God, and you might think thatís what you do when you sing praises. But you know what? When youíre willing to have a different attitude about your body of the sort that Iíve just described, when you are willing to look at it and say, "Iím willing to yield up my justifications for it being the way I experience it at this moment, and I desire to experience Godís intent right here where my body is," you are opening the door for God to illuminate His Presence, because youíre no longer interfering with It. And by letting His Presence manifest Itself, you are praising God, you are glorifying God. You see?

 

Hereís a wonderful thing that all of you can go home with. You have a way to go home and glorify God without becoming overly religious and spiritual. You can glorify God by saying, "I would like to experience what God is intending by the Idea He is having that constitutes my presence. And I know that the experience of the perfection of His Idea doesnít have to take time to manifest because there isnít any matter here that has to adjust according to laws of physics. There is only energyósubtle, intangible energyówhich can shift without force and without time."

 

Now, you may do this, and by the time you go to bed tonight you might say, "Big deal. Not much happened." Well, let me tell you, that doesnít mean that youíre stuck with "matter adjusting according to laws of physics." It simply means that you are still, to some degree, energizing the justifications you have for why it canít happen faster. Thatís okay. Just understand that thatís why, and then you wonít become discouraged by thinking that it really is matter which is resistant to change because of this thing called inertia, which is a physical "fact"óand persist.

 

"Well, this deformity, this problem, has been here since I was a child." "All my reactiveness to my environment came with me when I was born." "Itís so definite, itís so actual, that itís going to be hard to see a change." You see how youíre writing the script with your very words? It isnít because youíve experienced it for thirty or forty or fifty years. Itís because in the moment youíre in, you are giving a definition, you are giving a word, and that is the way you are denying yourself the opportunity of experiencing a shift of experience of the patterns of energy that you call your body.

 

I will tell you that when you meditate, whenever you "participate" in any activity which brings you to a place of peace where youíre not thinking, your body begins immediately to reflect better harmony, better order, better cohesiveness, simply because at that time you are not consciously exercising your justifications for it being less cohesive, less orderly, more aggravated, and so on.

 

So, the glass you touch and what youíre touching it with is energyópatterns of energy. And the patterns are established and maintained by the Mind that gave rise to them. And the Mind that gave rise to them was God. And therefore, the patterns must be as indivisible and undivided as That which formed them. And if they are undivided, they are incapable of expressing conflict, inharmony, impurity.

 

I tell you that if we adjourned at this moment having discussed only this one point, the nonmateriality of matter, and you went home and played with that idea and considered that it might actually be true, it would begin a process of transformation for every single one of you.

 

Actually, the fact is that even if you go home and ignore what Iíve talked about, itís still going to percolate. But it needed to be put into words so that you could hear it, and be reminded of it, because itís an illegitimate imposition upon a Son or Daughter of God to be experiencing imperfection or inharmony of any sort at any time. It is especially unjust because there is no law and there is no matter, there is no substance, that can actually resist the presence of the Ideas of God, and the rendering visible of those Ideas. And so there is no reason for any deformity or disease of any kind to last more than one millisecond longer.

 

Whether youíre willing to let in something else is another matter, but I want you to know that there is nothing, outside of your unwillingness to experience more, that is inhibiting or can inhibit the instantaneous manifestation of perfection at any moment that you are willing to let it be for you.

 

Now the ego is a bastard. It is always unkind. I did not really use the word "bastard" in a derogatory way. It has no father, it has no mother, it has no source. But the ego will say to you, "Ah, you mean all of this shit is my fault?" "You mean Iíve created this for myself?" "You mean all along itís been me?" And it would distract you into a guilt tripóa guilt trip that would inhibit you from engaging your capacity to have curiosity to say, "I would like to have the experience of what God intended by His Idea that looks like my toe, or my ankle, or my knee or my leg, or me."

 

Even if you avoid feeling guilty for having created all of this for yourself in the past, and you approach this present moment with a genuine curiosity, if your abandonment or relinquishment of your mindsets and your confidences doesnít happen to be rapid, it can begin to say, "Well, maybe it works for Raj, but it doesnít work for me." And it can sidetrack you again from the simple expression of curiosity with a willingness to say, "Maybe nothing that I see means what I think it means, and Iím curious to experience what it Means."

 

"Well, I donít know anybody whoís ever done that successfully. Oh, Iíve heard of a few instantaneous healings here and there, but this is not reasonable for me." Youíre going to have to abandon history. Youíre going to have to abandon your past experience. How else are you going to wake up if you donít abandon the experience that hasnít included being Awake? If youíve never had the experience of being Awake, then you had better abandon your past experience as the measuring stick of your future! You see? So what if nobody ascended in the last 2,000 years? So what if no one else has Awakened in the last 2,000 years on this planet?

 

"I would like to have the experience of the Meaning God intended and intends in His Idea that I am the presence of, and the Ideas that my body is the presence of." Thatís your prayer. Thatís the way you open the door to glorify God. And when you constantly remind yourself that there is nothing existing that has the capacity to block what God is being, because there isnít any matter, you will be able to minimize the justifications you have as to why instantaneous healing canít happen. And you will begin to glorify God in your very presence without saying a single spiritual word.

 

[New questioner]

 

QUESTION: Related to your opening remarks, I have, for the last twenty years, experienced my body in terms of waves of energy particles, motions. And they feel like energy fields that press upon my body, and it distracts me from my peace. And I wanted to know if what I am perceiving, where I am, is related to what you were speaking of earlier.

 

RAJ: Well, what you are referring to is the sensation of what Iím going to call "the impact of energy" which one feels when one is using oneís body as a defense.

 

You all exist in a sea of energy, if you will, which is in constant motion. When one uses oneís body as a defense, it tends to cause it to be experienced as though itís dense, and then the sea of energy and the movement of energy that one exists in, instead of being able to flow freely through, meets the resistance of the self-protection that you are bringing into play, and you feel it. You feel it not with the joy and peace that you would be feeling if you were undefended, but rather with a sensation of, for lack of better words, "impact."

 

You see, it is not that you are being confronted by negative energy. It is not that you are in an environment of negative energy which these sensations are evidence of. You are in the infinite presence of the only energy there is, which is the energy of Spirit, which is the Movement of God, and Itís not polarized. But when any of you use your body as a defense, as a place of self-protection, and you create a resistance, a density, then the movement of Spirit, the energy of Spirit, is experienced as though there is polarityógood energy/bad energy. And, of course, that seems to justify being even more defended, which will increase the experience of polarity or impact when what is called for is the willingness to let down, to relax, in effect to open the slats on the louvers on the blinds so that the air can move through without jangling the blinds. You see? Does that illuminate it for you?

 

QUESTION: Thank you, yes it does.

 

RAJ: You are welcome. I just want to share that all of you have the most powerful presence, the most significant presence, the most substantial presence, when you arenít trying to be a presence.

 

There is a saying: "Manís extremity is Godís opportunity." When your sense of yourself becomes minimal, your Self becomes maximal. And your Self is not "a" self youíre responsible for. Itís the presence of God, which God is responsible for. And so, itís when you as an ego or you as a self-made presence are the least expressed that the presence of God, Which is What is where you are, shows forth. It is when you are, like Iíve said before, a failure as an ego that the Christ that you Are is automatically what is present. When youíre putting forth the least effort to be something in the world, you become something significant in the world. Itís that simple.

 

When we were in England I used the illustration of a square sheet of vinyl that was put in a wooden frame. You can take your fist and push it into the sheet of vinyl, and the vinyl will change shape to conform to the amount of pressure you are applying, and you can see the fingers and the knuckles through the vinyl. I explained that healing is like your removing your hand from the piece of vinyl. The piece of vinyl moves back into its original flat stateónot because you healed it from its contorted shape, but because you neglected to any longer distort it, yourself. You see?

 

When you are trying to be someone, you are being the fist forcing its way through "the energy field"ólike the piece of glassócausing it to have a shape that it is not its nature to be in. And when you let go of attempting to be someone, you stop distorting the energy field, and you say, "Oh, Iím having a healing. Now what did I do to make that happen?" Well, what you did was less than you had been doing before. You see? What you did was that you stopped doing what distorted your experience of the presence of God, Which is what constitutes your presence.

 

Itís important to know that just as the sheet of latex has the intent to be flat and absent of tension, your body has the intent to identify the presence of your Individuality perfectly. And so, when you stop using your body as a defense, or as a shield to protect yourself, or as a shape having enough weight to it to be a formidable presence in the world to help provide you with safetyówhen you stop using the body in these ways, it is like removing your fist from the latex, and you find your body beginning to perform its function perfectly, which is to identify you perfectly, which means to express nothing other than the Idea in the Mind of God that constitutes you.

 

When you have been taught that control is the almighty important thing in life, this idea that I am expressing seems totally insane. You have been taught that without the exercise of control, chaos will be the result. I am telling you that chaos is the result of being in control, and letting go of control will allow the fundamental nature of God to once again appear in the world. Itís not risky, because just as the latex is intent upon being flató[being perfectly what it is]óif no power is being exerted over it, so does your body and so does your world!

 

[New questioner]

 

RAJ: I will just mention, since you were the one who was sitting with her hand on the glass-topped table, if the glass is a field of energy, and if your arm or hand is a field of energy, then they can pass through each other. So you might have fun with that, too. That is how you walk through walls. Go ahead.

 

QUESTION: Iím doing my best at trying to live an undefended life. And yet, as you were speaking, you were talking about a personís body size as being a defense against the world, and so, I hadnít realized that. But since the whole issue of my weight is my worst failure . . .

 

RAJ: Hm-m-m.

 

QUESTION: . . . how is it . . .

 

RAJ: Oh-h-h. Well, there is an example of suffering from nothingónothing except a few words you put together in a self-incriminating way. It isnít your failure or your successóyour body size.

 

QUESTION: But you said it was . . .

 

RAJ: What I said was that there are individuals who use their body as a presence in order to be formidable in their world. But banty roosters do that, and theyíre little. And dachshunds do it, and theyíre little. I wasnít referring to body size, but the way in which a body is handled to imply "presence." Many of you who are not physically large "densify" your body. You try to feel as though your body is a presence of some significance, and you use your body in this way to give yourselves courage to act forcefully in a way that will intimidate others. It has nothing to do with size.

 

Now, I just want to point out that this concept that you expressed, of your body size being your greatest failure . . . that is a string of words which express nothing. They express nonsense. It isnít your biggest failure or your greatest success. But, the idea that you expressed is one that you have believed for quite a while. What I want to point out is, that in embracing that idea, it caused you not to clearly hear what I was saying, because I wasnít speaking of body size at all. There are little people with "big presences," you might say.

 

Now, do you know what I care about more than your size . . . about you?

 

QUESTION: No.

 

RAJ: The beautiful presence of Love that you areóyour nature. Not your mental habits, but just you. I donít care how big or little you are. And when your bigness or littleness matters less to you, and this exquisite presence that You really are is valued more, you will find a balance beginning to occur, where there is what you would call more lovely symmetry.

 

It is like what Paul is doing this afternoon. Heís not being a "presence" at all. You see? When his ego sense of self steps aside and heís being nothing from an ego standpoint, the Somethingness of Being happens. If he were willing to stay with me all the timeóif he were willing to abandon his right to view things from the ego standpointóhe not only would experience the wholeness heís experiencing right now all the time, but he would find that his physique would begin to change, and there would be greater and greater symmetry to it. Although heís not displeased with the way he looks, he would be more pleased with the way he looks.

 

The beauty and the symmetry of you or Paul or anyone else will come naturally and spontaneously and effortlessly when he and you have yourselves less on your mind as a failure or a success in this area or that area, and you value letting the essential presence of You be whatís important, and share It. And thatís what I love about you, is your essential presence.

 

So, I give you permission to not beat yourself up any more on this issue of size.

 

QUESTION: Okay.

 

RAJ: Itís a total waste of time, it accomplishes nothingóexcept that it does keep you distracted from being the presence of joy and love that everyone else wants to experience from you. Itís just another example of suffering from nothing.

 

I know, your ego says, "This is far from nothing! This is a lot!" Well, your size isnít you, small or big, beautiful or homely. Love is you. Your nature is you. And there isnít much that covers that up except when youíre distracted by things like your size.

 

I want you to be willing to make the gift of You that has nothing to do with your size. And I want you to love that in You which is able to love everyone else. And when you are willing to let that find expression in your thoughts and words and deeds, more than giving expression to this "failure" that you say you are and all that failing means, you will have your attention placed right, and balance will begin to manifest. Not because itís importantónot because it will say something good about youóbut just because thatís the way God made you. Perfect, beautiful in form, outline, color, as well as your nature. Your body is intent upon identifying the presence of your Individuality perfectly, and perfectly means lovely. There is no such thing as a perfect wart. The perfection of God is always expressed in loveliness of every kind.

 

The less Paul has himself on his mind and how well heís doing, the more meaningful his presence is. Itís the same for you. And how well youíre doing at looking like a Daughter of God is one of those things that you need to let go of, so that "how youíre doing" and "who you are" is less on your mind than letting love come through you, big or small.

 

If Iím loving you, you can love yourself. If God is loving youówhich He isóthen for you to do anything less is a waste of time.

*******************************************************************

 

THE PATRIARCHAL CONCEPT OF WOMAN

 

RAJ: Whenever you are confronted with an overabundance of factors or details, or bits of information that seem overwhelming or confusing or complicated, it is time to remember that the answer is always simpler than anything you are expecting. In this way you will listen for the answer on its terms, rather than in terms of all the "details." You see? That, in itself, is relieving, and paves the way for the answer that is simpler than anything youíre expecting.

 

I also want to point out to you that when youíre in the not-knowing place, the vestibule, and are still without direct Answers, it is not wise to listen to others who are also in the vestibule without Answers, putting forth their best thoughts, their best ideas, their best concepts, along with insights that may have occurred. You cannot afford to listen to them without being aware that what theyíre saying cannot possibly reflect pure clarity.

 

What you read or what you hear will be conflicted and, as a whole, undependable. And it will always be necessary to sort out. The point is, however, that if itís clear to you at the outset that what theyíre saying is going to be conflicted, is going to reflect confusion, then you will not read or listen to the words with full embrace, but rather with discernment. And the conflictedness of what you hear will not conflict you. If, on the other hand, there is a spontaneous respect for everything you hear, then the conflict will generate conflict or fear in you. And so, this is another point to remember.

 

Now, as I have said before, menopause is a pause, not a permanent state of affairs. It reflects a movement . . . and a rest . . . and a movement . . . and a rest . . . and a movement . . . and a rest . . . and so on. It is like breathing. The movement and the rest are not at odds with each other, and embody the fullness of the meaning of Lifeóand nothing else! They reflect or embody Godís design, which is always life-affirming. Unconflicted. Thatís the simple original, and therefore permanently eternal Fact.

 

So, the question is, then: Why is it experienced differently? Instead of being experienced as a rest between movements, why is it experienced as "the beginning of the end?" It is suggested that genetically speaking there is a built-in trigger which, when it goes off, activates the end of activity. They haven't found it yetóthe genetic triggeróand it happens that itís a false conclusion. And Iíll tell you that it actually has its source in the same belief system that has caused a pause to be seen as the beginning of deterioration and death. And it is a belief which would never have occurred in a matriarchal society.

 

In the centuries-old patriarchal society, women served men . . . in many different ways: as companions, as preparers of meals, as the providers of heirsóand specifically male heirs, who could carry on the name and receive the inheritance, because men were the "valid" half of the team of male and female. Daughters did not inherit. They were not important. They were not valid. They could not carry on the name, the lineage, nor could they carry on the affairs of the world. All they could do was to "make" male children who could carry on the affairs of the world, and then take care of these valid male individualities.

 

So, is it any wonder that women would come to the conclusion that their functionótheir reason for beingówas to bear male children to continue that which was valid in the world, and to bear some female children, so that the family could, in what was primarily an agricultural society, help plant, nurture and harvest, and support the fatherís, and ultimately older brothersí positions of validity.

 

Obviously, then, when the time came where child-bearing went into its "rest mode"ótheir capacity to bring forth valid individuals and continue to support the activities of the valid individuals came to an endóthey became useless. Really useless.

 

What do you think happens to what we will call the psyche of a woman who is useless? She depresses herself by embodying all of the feelings of uselessness. Without a valid reason for existing any longer, she can find no justification for existing. And so, optimism, enthusiastic engagement with life, becomes nonsensical. Because she cannot claim any authority for this period of restówhich she doesnít know is just a period of restóshe becomes angry with her body, which has done this to her.

 

These attitudes kill herónot instantaneously, but in small "hormonal" waysóbecause I will tell you that the natural movement of movement-and-rest, movement-and-rest, as I said, is life-affirming, and there is natural ongoing equilibrium, "hormonally speaking," and in every way. But when self-doubt and self-hate become active, it does indeed throw the body out of kilter, because it becomes the recipient of a perception of it which is at odds with the Intent that the Father has established there as its reason for being.

 

These centuries-old attitudes have become firmly embedded, and find unconscious, spontaneous embrace in this day and age, even though women are more greatly emancipated from the conceptual roles which were so harshly and unyieldingly imposed upon them down through the centuries.

 

Today there are women who look forward to menopause, who look forward to emancipation from obligation to be "mother." And this is contributing to the breakdown of the beliefs, which trigger the perception of deterioration and ultimately death as a result of "the rest from child-bearing years."

 

There is what you could call more self-respect on the part of women. But I will tell you that it has more to do with their equality with men than it does with the challenging of the self-hate that has become firmly identified with the onset of menopause. And so, the hateful beliefs associated with menopause are not breaking down as rapidly as they could be and as they need to be.

 

You see, women are challenging men in manís territory. But they need to challenge men in womanís territory as well, so that they stop embodying the historical habit of the patriarchal perception of women, which women embrace and embody. You see? And what they are embracing and embodying is their death, with full justification, when it was a perception of women, arising out of the arrogant egotism of man, and not a fact at all, which was imposed upon them, and which they accepted. And so, it is time for women to challenge the patriarchal concept of women within themselves, so that they might disavow themselves from accepting and embodying that which is absolutely inimical to their Being.

 

It is time for women to experience menopause in the fullness of health, so that they might enjoy one hundred to one hundred and fifty years of non-child-bearing and a full ongoing experience of vital existence before once again entering a period of child-bearing.

 

So, those who are in the vestibule with youómeaning everyone else who is not Awakeódo not constitute a source of excellence for understanding what is happening. And because the patriarchal concept of woman is so firmly established, it is the context within which the interpretation of the event of menopause is being explored. This is why, even in what everyone considers to be a rather enlightened time in history, there is not the discovery, the insightful discovery, of the "Integrity of Woman" and a consequent challenging of the beliefs, and the fear generated by the beliefs, which are what upset the balance within the womanís body.

 

Menopause is not a time to fear, but a time to be as happy as any other timeóchildhood, puberty, the birth of a first child, a second child, a third child, the experience of adulthood, et ceteraóin the ongoing context of life!

 

Self-doubt, self-hate, depression, and ongoing current expression of the "actuality" of a process of disintegration in women who are entering this period of rest, preoccupies women from being at peace within themselves. It distracts them from being in that place where they can love themselves unconditionally, distracts them from being undefended enough to let in an expectation and an experience of well-being, of health and vitality, and an inherent experience of Integrity which would prove false, and undo for all time, the ignorantly imposed concept of "woman" that has imprisoned those who have always been innocent, and therefore valid, and therefore equal.

 

Every woman intuitively feels an inherent inequity in the experience of menopause. And if she does not listen deeply enough and quietly enough, she can assume that menopause, itself, is the problem, when it is not. As a result, in a more spiritually enlightened climate, one could jump to the conclusion that menopause is something to be healed of, when it is not.

 

It is the concept of "womanhood," itself, that needs to be purged of the imposition of an arrogant, patriarchal attitude, so that the Integrity of Woman can once again be fully embraced and embodied by women. You see?

 

So, instead of panicking at the onset of menopause and reading voluminously the thoughts of others who are in the void about the truth as much as you are, instead of accepting what theyíre saying because they have titles and degrees, and instead of going into great reactions to the dire ideas of deterioration that are expressed, one needs, as always, to value her peace, and choose for it.

 

In the presence of the peace that is chosen for and reached, by virtue of valuing it more than fear, oneís body always begins to reflect more balance, more natural, spontaneous, harmonious functioning. But thatís not the ultimate. You do not want to use the direct experience of peace as the new "medication." The function of this peace is to be the threshold of insight, the threshold of revelation, which is always the disclosure of oneís innocence, and therefore oneís unaltered and unalterable Integrityóyou might say "oneís Validity."

 

And along with that comes the awareness of the sort that I have just shared, which puts into perspective and clarifies what the actual elements are and, at an experiential level, the total nonsensicalness of the beliefs which had been governing because they were thought to be the truth. As a result, thereís not only the peace which the body reflects as more harmonious functions, there is also the healing of what Iím going to call the "susceptibility to disease"óthe healing of the conditioned inclination to create dis-ease, as a result of the ignorance of oneís innocence and validity. You see?

 

Now, if in the process of this transformation of awareness, this shifting of perception which is involved, you find it helpful to eat tofu and to utilize natural progesterone and estrogens, then by all means do so. What they amount to is that which helps you give yourself permission to experience what it is your Birthright to be experiencing when you canít access It directly.

 

Do not make the mistake of assuming that this proves that hormones are governing your healthóthat physical processes are keeping you alive or killing you. Do not, in the process, forget that it is self-doubt, depression, and self-hate, which appear to kill you, even though ultimately they have no effect on your eternal existence.

 

Then persist in choosing for your peace and, while in your peace, be attentive to the ongoing and increasing revelation of your innocence and your Integrity, which will constitute the abandonment of self-hate, and thereby the healing of the actual "cause" of the distressing experience of an utterly natural manifestation of movement and rest and movement and rest, which embodies Life, and only Life! That is the answer to the "problem" of menopause.

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WHY DO YOU SEE THE EFFECTS OF AGE?

 

QUESTION: I would like you to talk to me about aging, because I have the thought that there are a lot of things about aging that are the same as illnessesóand that possibly are really illegitimate, too. I donít know if Iím making any sense. I just would like to know what to expect and how I should think about it.

 

RAJ: Well, first of all itís helpful to understand what the source of the concept of aging is. The source of the idea of aging is the idea that you were born, that you had a beginning a certain number of years ago in what you call this life experience. Growing, coming to full potential, reaching a peak, and then beginning to age are all the result of the idea that you began at birth or at conceptionóthat your existence is a manifestation of a physical event called birth and a physical body that is your identity. You see?

 

To overcome aging, or to become free of the so-called effects of agingówhich ultimately means to become free of deathóis to become free of the belief in birth, the belief that you had a beginning and the belief that your body had a beginning apart from the Reality of Godís Creation, in this thing that is called a physical universe, as though your body is temporary, for your enjoyment and suffering, in this lifetime on this earth.

 

Now, Iíve talked at some length about all of these things before, but itís absolutely essential for you to understandóall of youóthat the idea of birth is a false interpretation of what I will call a point in your eternal existing. You were fully identifiedómeaning, having that which identified you, a bodyóbefore you were born. From the moment God conceived of you, you have always had that which identifies you, which you call a body. Which means you have always been identified. You have always existed, and there is no alternative to that for any of you. You and that which identifies you are really one. Theyíre really inseparable. You and that which identifies you are therefore at this instant eternal, whether you see yourself and your body as growing, aging, potentially dying.

 

Again, it must be very clear, and you must dare to let it be very clear in your mind, that the ultimate of the Reality of You is going on at this moment relative to you as you currently perceive yourself. It is not something to be achieved in the future. Itís something to be allowed into your conscious awareness now, or at any moment that you decide to let it in. The ultimate of God is what is sitting right there!

 

Why do you see the effects of age? First of all, because you think there was a beginning. And in the frame of reference youíre inówhich is a frame of reference of oppositesóbeginning means ending. They seem to be inseparable, like heads and tails, top and bottom. It isnít true! It isnít what God is being right there, right now!

 

Now, you get a lot of feedback from your worldófriends, parents, who seem to be inevitably going through an aging process, which really means a process of deterioration. You watch the commercials on the TV, and you watch the programs where your physicians are doing the best they can to explain this process of deterioration and trying to ameliorate it through manipulation of one sort or another. And so you become further convinced that the most you can expect is to grow old gracefully, die gracefully, but die you must, because everyone hasóexcept one or two or three or four. And, of course, rather than that being the rule, you think thatís the exception, and it doesnít apply to you.

 

Why do you think I share with you the things I share with you, all of you? So that you might be inspired out of these mindsets which you treat as though they are facts, as though they are absolutes. To inspire you to look in the mirror and not wonder, "What can I expect as I age?" but rather, "What more of the presence of what God is being right now, right here, is available to me to see? What more of the presence of God can I see in the reflection in the mirror? What more of the undeniable perfection of my Being is available for me to experience?" You see? Tell me, how many of you do look in the mirror to see if thereís a new gray hair? Or a new fine line? And how many of you wish for a few fine lines, or more, so that you might get a little respect?

 

If I told you what to expect in terms of aging, then you would be wise to get up and leave and never come back to hear another word I would have to say.

 

When you look in the mirror, instead of being curious about how much older youíre getting, I encourage you to say, "I forgive myself for not seeing the ultimate of what God is being right here in what is reflected in the mirror. And because itís my Birthright to be experiencing it, I desire to experience it. And I ask for help in seeing what is really here." And then, just as when you are listening for guidance and you express a desire, shut up and watch. Be attentive for the inspiration that will change your perception. When your perception changes because youíve let yourself be infilled with the truer perception of what you are, everyone else will see your truer perception as well.

 

Is it reasonable to expect wrinkles to go away? Is it reasonable to expect sagging muscles to stop sagging? Is it reasonable to expect what you would call regeneration? Absolutely, it is! And anything less means that you have simply succumbed to your beliefs about aging and the worldís beliefs about aging.

 

Slowly but surely, everyone kills themselves. Everyone slowly commits suicide by withdrawing their interest in life, by squelching new ideas, by squelchingóalthough I donít like these words, we are going to use themó"new goals," because you say, "I donít really have enough time to achieve those goals." And so you begin backing out of being alive. That means you begin to go against the grain, the very essence of your Being, because you are resisting Being. And when you resist and create a block to the flow of the energy of Life that is the Substance of your Being, you begin to see the effects of it.

 

When you attempt to squelch the power of the presence of God in you by saying, "I canít do that. Maybe if I were younger I would attempt it, but Iím not young, and I canít do it," youíre in a state of self-denial. Youíre in a state of lack of self-appreciation. And you know what you do? You use your body to defend yourself against the power of the presence of God, Which is what you are the presence of. And you hurt here or there, or in your joints, or somewhere elseóbecause you resist with your body! You resist everything with your body. Itís the only thing you think you have that has enough presence to be a defense against whatever you feel a need to be defended against.

 

So, you really need to become conscientious about this. You need to become conscientious about being open to the influx of the inspiration that regenerates, and let it in. You need to use the mute button on your TV. You need to become devoted to the goalóthe intent to see the presence of God in all of His/Her glory, right there where you are, more and more fully each day! And if you donít see it more and more fully each day, you persist, so that you remain in alignment with Godís Will.

 

God did not set up life as a process of life and death, life and death, life and death. But each one of you can squelch and commit suicide, only to discover that youíre not dead, and then again squelch and suicide, only to find out that youíre not dead, until it becomes really clear to you that doing anything other than making commitment to life, and not squelching at all, is your function.

 

Now, when you finish your shower and you see the hair in the drain, donít say, "Oh, another hair gone." At least say, "Ah, room for another hair to grow." Or, "Hereís an opportunity I have to see the glory of God manifested right here where I am, and that would truly be such a wonderful thing that I am going to unswervingly give my attention to that." Itís got to become extremely clear to everyone that each one of you is aging yourself. Each one of you is or will be inclined to slowly put the brakes on. And itís the brakes youíre putting on which are causing what you call aging.

 

If you listen to Depak Chopra and others who are experiencing more clarity, you will hear that your body is quite capable of regenerating itself indefinitely. Of course, then you will occasionally hear one of them say that there is a built-in mechanism that causes it to begin to deteriorate. But, you know what? Either God is all or God isnít all. Either life is the absolute, or itís not.

 

Now, I have said it is the intent of your body to identify the presence of your Individuality perfectly. That is its God-given reason for existing! And your Individuality is the presence of God. So, your bodyís intent to identify you perfectly is your bodyís intent to identify the presence of God perfectly. This [indicating the body] is supposed to be glorifying God! Not just a temporary package that your soul is inhabiting for a short period of time.

 

By my saying this, I am trying to inspire all of you to be curious in a fearless way about experiencing the truth about your body, and the truth about you. Youíre worth the attention that it will take, the devotion that it will take. And you will have help from those of us who are Awake, who stand ready to support you in your greater embrace of the truth about you and the truth about that which identifies you.

 

So, when you let the inspiration in, because youíre not blocking it by saying "no" to Life, and youíre not blocking it by being curious to see how much more of death has entered your experience, you will find that inspiration being magnified by Those who stand ready to support your clearer experience of your physical perfectionóthe perfection of that which identifies you.

 

Now I havenít spoken inspirationally just now. Iíve been speaking firmly so as to jolt you a little bit out of your fascination with the process of aging. As the saying goes, "What you appreciate, appreciates." That means that what you value grows. And you can always find out what you value by paying attention to what youíre giving your attention to.

 

Do you have a "yes, but"?

 

QUESTION: No, I think this is wonderful! Itís very exciting. Thank you so much.

 

RAJ: You are welcome. Take advantage of mirrors. Every time you look in a mirror, let it be a reminder that what youíre looking in the mirror to see is the glory of God. I really mean it!

 

QUESTION: Okay.

 

RAJ: And then, I invite all of you to do this for your brothers and sisters as well. When you look at them, donít say, "Oh, well, she really doesnít look good today. She really ought to be at home in bed." "Oh boy, something must have happened at home last night. Look at the way he or she is acting today." You see? Care enough about those in your experience not to jump to limited conclusions about them, but rather to say, "Wait a minute. Whatís sitting right there? That one driving the car next to me on the freeway, that body, is the glory of God."

 

Let every encounter with your brother and sister be a reminder that itís your function to be seeing the glory of God there. And if youíre not, itís not because theyíre not presenting It, but because youíre not choosing to see It. You would rather have your opinion and your definition. And you are the one who suffers, because your definition keeps you from remembering to see God there.

 

Yes, itís going to keep you busy.

 

QUESTION: I know. Thank you.

 

RAJ: But you know what? Youíre already busy repeating and repeating and repeating other habits of attitude.

 

What if you canít experience Love until you extend it to your brother? What if you canít experience the divine Reality of yourself until youíre willing to extend the acknowledgment of the divine Reality of someone else? What if you canít really feel the love of God until you are willing to love the old so-and-so who just cut you off? Or to love your fellow worker who claims to be ill. Who sees herself as ill and puts that in the air. Who has forgotten to be curious about the glory of God right where she is which is beyond her current perception of whatís right there?

 

What if your feeling well canít be wholly available to you until you are willing to desire for your brother and sister that they feel wholly well because you know that is their Birthright? Thereís not really any "what if" about it. Itís why the Course refers to your brother as your savior.

 

Your brother or sister is your savior. Why? Because your brother and sister keep you from being able to believe that you can be successfully who and what You are by yourself. All of the illusory sense of existence arises out of a fundamental premise that all of you have adopted, which is that you are separate from everything elseófundamentally separate from God, being little gods, yourselves, being able to be authorities on your own. Well, the only way to get out of the mesmeric frame of mind that involves your seeing yourself as alone is to have a brother or a sister who gives you the opportunity to be Love.

 

Iíve said it before: You canít love by yourself. You have to have an object of your affection. Without an object of your love, there canít be a thing called Love. And so your brother and your sister are your means of coming out from under the results of the mad idea that you exist independently from everything, including God. Your means of coming back into your Sanity is your brother or sister, who provides you with the opportunity to be the presence of Love, and by being the presence of Love, fulfilling your purpose for Being, because thatís what God established in you. And as a result of fulfilling your purpose for Being, something happens to you. You wake up!

 

You are inspired with Godís Love, because in order to love someone else, and extend it, you have to stand in receipt of it, and the receipt of it is a receipt from the Father. Do you see what Iím saying?

 

Do you understand what the statement in the Course means that says, "To have, give all to all"?

 

QUESTION: I think so.

 

RAJ: God is the Movement of Being, the conscious Movement of Being. And the Movement of Being is extensionóa Gift. Therefore, the experience of fulfillment of Being for every single one of you involves making the Gift of Love.

 

You cannot be the Source of Love, so how can you give the Gift of Love? Well, you might say itís magic, because when you begin to careówhen you really become less closed off and you really begin to care for anotheróyou make a Gift. And when you make that Gift, you become infilled with the Love it takes to give.

 

Iíve used the illustration before of a garden hose with a sprayer nozzle on it. When you have an object of your affection, it is like pulling the trigger on the nozzle. When you have an object of your affection, there is someplace for the stream of water to go. You pull the trigger, and what happens? The nozzle gets filled up with the water and the water gets extended.

 

When you care about someone, itís like pulling the trigger, and the Love that God is moves through you. What happens then? Well, your brother is blessed. But something else has happened. The thing thatís happened is that you have had the inspiring, uplifting transformational and regenerative experience of being the place where the presence of God is moving into expression.

 

I will put it another way. When you dare to love your fellow man, the only thing you can love your fellow man with is Godís Love. In your caring, you open the door for Godís Love, and not only does your brother get loved, you do, too! Thatís why your brother is your salvation.

 

Thatís why I said, "When you look at a co-worker or someone at the grocery store and you say, ĎGod, I havenít seen them for a while. Theyíre really beginning to look old,í" well, is that the gift you want to make? Is that what you want to extend? Whereíd you get that hose from?

 

"Gee, she should take better care of herself." Judgment. You could say, "Wow, that isnít the truth about her. Wow, the truth about her is that sheís the direct expression of God. The truth is that her body is the glory of God, and Iím going to let my responses, my reactions, arise out of that awareness of what the truth of her is, rather than how she looks at the moment." So whatís happened? Your apparently aging associate has given you the opportunity to choose for the truth in your awareness, and in choosing that, you prime yourselfólike pulling the triggerófor the further influx of the Fatherís point of view, which constitutes the Love that heals not only your sister or your brother, but you! You see?

 

Iíve gone on at some length, but I hope itís becoming clear to you that the way to overcome age, the way to deal with age, is to take every opportunity you have to look in the mirror and do something different from what you have been doing by acknowledging the truth about yourselfóbeing curious about the truth about yourself, being curious about Godís truth about you, as well as doing the same thing with your brothers and sisters, your fellow man. ĎCause Iíll tell Ďya, you canít just look in the mirror and become absolutely clear about yourself and still go around saying, "God, she looks awful, doesnít she? Iím so glad I donít have to look that way any more." You gotta bring your brother and sister along with you. This is an important point.

 

And you have something to contemplate now.

 

QUESTION: I certainly do. Thank you so much.

 

RAJ: You are welcome. I understand you had some reservations about asking the question you asked.

 

QUESTION: I donít know, I justóI guess I always want to appear like I already know things. And the truth is I donít know and I need help understanding. And I knew you could help me have a better way of looking at it.

 

RAJ: So you had a need, and you didnít want to look needy.

 

QUESTION: Right.

 

RAJ: Yes. Oh, self-sufficiency. And, of course, thatís right at the top of the list of what you get when you start moving along your spiritual path. And so, if you have a need, donít let anyone know that youíre "way back there" on the path.

 

QUESTION: Thatís right.

 

RAJ: But, if you donít express your need, how can you give someone else the opportunity to love you?

 

Now, Iím not talking about manufacturing needs to get attention. Iím talking about a real needóletís say an absence of an answer that you want. Thatís a need. Of course, that means youíve got to dare to be real, and honestóhonest in the sense of not expressing manufactured needs as a means of manipulating others. You understand?

 

QUESTION: Yes.

 

RAJ: What I want to convey to everyone is that there is great value in genuinely expressing real needs that you have. Do you know what the first thing that happens is, when you do that? It makes it easier for other people to be genuine and honest about their needs, too. It allows other people to dare to be open, because youíre not going to uncover how far back they are. You see?

 

There were times when Paul decided to only talk to me when he didnít have problems, so as not to impose upon me. Not much growth or learning happened during those periods because when he didnít have a problem, he didnít talk to me.

 

Now, thereís something else I want to share. When the fall or the separation from God seemed to occur, and each one practiced a false sense of authorityóof an ability to author thingsóit seemed as though each one who did it was able to see himself or herself as self-contained, self-complete, even though it was a miserable experience.

 

As each one became accustomed to that experience, he or she lost the experience of his or her universality, and indeed a sense of self associated with the body, and only with the body, became that oneís identity. That one could say, "I can think for myself. I can decide what this means. I am a decider. I am a giver of definitions. I am this, I am that, I am the other thing." And the experience felt as though all of these conscious experiences were originating from the one identified now as this body and this mind that wasnít universal.

 

But I pointed out to most all of you over the last two years that no one ever succeeded in becoming autonomous, independent, and that what has happened is that one is "giving voice" to, giving expression to one of two voicesóand that voice is never the identity that you see yourself as, or that Paul sees himself as, as a separated individuality.

 

One never loses his divine presence. And so, each one is the Christ. Each one, in spite of how you see yourselves, still is the Son or Daughter of God, still is the Christ. And this divine one that You are is either giving expression to the Voice for Truth, which is the Fatherís Voice, or the voice for fear, which I have referred to as the egoówhich is just a rehashing of all of the old tapes, all of the mindsets of this sense of identity that each one has created and acquired and built.

 

So, no one has succeeded in standing in a place where he or she is only expressing himself or herself. You, as "a separated, aging lady," do not have the capacity to originate anythingóto be the source of a single thought or a single act. You are either clearly giving expression to the Christ that you are, or you are clearly giving expression to confused perceptions. You see what Iím saying?

 

Now, I said that the need was to love your fellow man because loving your fellow man is what will save you! And your fellow man, being the object of your affection, will be your savior. So whoís going to love this fellow man? The "aging lady" sitting there? There ainít no such critter as an "aging lady" sitting there. Thereís only the Christ, being clear or being confused. Letís put it that way.

 

So whatís happening when you dare to care about your fellow man? Well, if you, as a separated entity have no capacity to loveóbecause this separated entity doesnít exist, except in an imaginary wayóthen if love is going to occur, how is it going to occur? Itís simple. Because thereís only one thing sitting there with a quizzical look on her face, and that is the presence of God, the Christ.

 

When you, as a human find yourself caring, itís not because you as a separated human entity have a capacity to care, but because the Christ that you are is emerging, because the Christ that you are is the only thing that has the capacity to care. But, does the Christ that you are have a separate place from which to express love, or is the Christ that you are the unobstructed presence of God, Himself/Herself?

 

You see, what I want to point out here isówhich is the cap on this whole answeróthat when you, in your sense of being a separated human, physical organism that is born, grows, ages and dies, experiences caring, itís really the Christ of you remembering her function to a limited degree!

 

Now, if you donít have a personal capacity to love, then if love is going to appear where you are, it is going to be because you have begun to care, which has been a prayer to Godówhich God answers. And it comes through you. And you must have a brother, a sister, an object of your affection, in order to call into play the Christ of you. Thatís why your brother, your sister, is your savior.

 

But, remember that the capacity to love isnít something that originates with the separated human entity that you think you are! Thatís why, when caring finally becomes an active part of your experience of being, even in your separated sense of yourself, it constitutes a prayer, and not a personal gift of your ownóa prayer which allows God to answer, and fills you up with the experience of the fulfillment of your purpose for Being while blessing the one you dared to care about.

 

Can all of you see that the privacy you seek is the way you deny your brother of the blessing of your prayer? "Well, I canít get involved with everyone." Well, then, keep on dying! Stay separate! You see? Stay separate. Stay private. Donít care, because caring is involvement. Keep blocking your function, and keep dying! Do you see what Iím saying?

 

But thatís not my point. My point is for you to realize whatís happening when you care, whatís happening when you loveóthat prayer isnít just a string of words you say.

 

Prayer is caring. Caring is prayer. Itís involving. It involves you in your heart, you might say. You become involved. And when you become involved because you really care, a blessing occursóthe prayer is answered! And, you are the answer. And when youíre the answer, and you experience the involving aspect of that as well, you wonít ask, "Do I have to do this with everyone?" And you wonít think that itís too much to do it with everyone. The joy of it will be so significant that you will wonder what you were thinking of when you had justification for withholding it.

 

"Gee, I thought Jesus was my savior. I thought the Christ was my savior. And the slob over there sure doesnít look like the Christ to me, doesnít act like the Christ." And what does that mean? What that means is, the Christ in you isnít alive at the moment, registering in your awareness, because caring hasnít occurred yet. Thatís what it means. And yet that one is the Christ, suffering from his ignorance of his Christ-hood. And because the suffering is illegitimate for him, he invites, by his misery, by his unwithheld expression of his need, your compassion! You see? It invites the response of caring rather than judgment. And so, this miserable one is your salvation, because itís an opportunity for you to careóto feel love, compassion, caring for him. In your caring, you come back into your Function, your fulfillment of Purpose for Being, and that constitutes a prayer which God answers, and you feel, as itís extended.

 

Iíve said before that all of the Awakened Brotherhood experience a lack, because while all of you are "enjoying" the game of independence, the fantasy of independence, you are not available to us, and weíre not available to you. And so the Brotherhood doesnít, as a Whole, experience its Wholeness consciously.

 

Is the answer, as far as weíre concerned, to sit around and grouse about all of youóhow inconsiderate you are? No! Itís an opportunity for us to Love. Itís an opportunity for us to care. And, it feels good, because weíre on the beam.

 

I donít mean, "Give us a gold star because weíre on the beam." When youíre on the beam, you feel good. When youíre on the beam, youíre experiencing harmony. When youíre on the beam, thereís never an interruption of the flow of the Fatherís Love, because youíre not taking your finger off the trigger on the nozzle on the hose! And so the flow is never intermittent. Itís never interrupted. But itís sort of like dominos.

 

I love you. I love you all. I love everyone. But itís not enough for me to love you. Youíve got to pass it on! Because until you are loving your brother, you wonít wake up. You wonít come into the fullness of the experience of what you divinely Are.

 

This all ties together, because if you want to see your body visibly identifying the glory of God, rather than age, then love your brother, because that constitutes a joining, a union which undoes the effects of being separate, independent, autonomousówhich is what aging and death are the result of! As well as birth! The way you get out of that cycle is by fulfilling your Function, which is to be the place where Love flows into expression, because thatís what God is.

 

Mirrors are used a lot in New Age thinking. And so you go to work, and someoneís grumpy and you say, "Oh, they must be mirroring me back to me. I didnít think I was grumpy, but I must be. Somewhere in me, I must be grumpy." Well, you know what? The one whoís being grumpy and is not covering up his need is being the Christ to the best of his ability, which is giving you the opportunity to be the Christ to the best of your ability. And so what is it thatís being reflected back to you? The Christ.

 

You see, if youíre going to be confused in your metaphysical or New Age thinking, you will take yourself as the human entity that you think you are, and you will take the human entity that you think everyone else is, and these will be what will be mirrored back and forthóand you end with the same ignorance that you began with. But your brother, there, whoís suffering, or your sister whoís suffering, is the Christ, reflecting back to you your Christ-hood. Itís a call for Love! And the Love can only come from the Christ that you are. And so, the Christ that you are has to be let out of the box.

 

Itís time to come out of the closet, and let yourself feel the Love, feel the caring, feel the compassion. Not for the poor human entity, but for the Christ who has the right to experience his divinity. And then, without thinking that youíre being the source of the Love, recognize that the caring, the Love that you are feeling, is a prayer. And let God answer it in an involving way in your heart. Let it flow! Then you will begin to undo birth, growth, aging and death. Itís high time to be through with it!

 

What if you canít pray for yourself? What if you cannot be the authorizer, the author of a prayer for yourself? What if the only one who can "author" a prayer for you is your brother? You canít be your own savior. You see? Do you see how much you need each other?

 

If you cannot succeed at being an independent entity, then it means that your involvement with the whole Brotherhoodówith every aspect of the infinite expression of Godóis the only choice for "an experience of Being" that you have available to you, and that privacy is therefore nonsense! It means that the answer to the problem of existence lies in the withdrawal of defenses and the employment of Love, so that the unity of the infinite expression of God can be experienced in Its exquisite harmony. Itís called Heaven. But as I said before, itís got to start here. Itís got to start with the apparently separated human entity that you think you are, actually being the place where the experience of caring is felt. And itís got to be with each other. You have nothing better to do, all day long!

 

Do you see that what Iím saying doesnít mean that you, personally, have to have, or come up with, the answer for your brotherís need? What you have to do is care enough to let the Love flow. The Father will answer the prayer!

 

Just watch the lines [the signs of aging] disappear. Susan says that whenever there is a Gathering and Paul is not claiming a separate mind of his own, the lines leave his face. And then afterward, he turns back into a pumpkin. That will tell you that the consistent experience of Peace and Joy that comes from constant prayerówhich is what Paul is engaged in this afternoonóis fulfillment itself. And the ongoing experience of this, if Paul would indeed acquiesce to my suggestion that he do this constantly, would result in the lines disappearing, and staying gone, and for color to come back to his hair, and hair to come back to his head, and a flat stomach, which he would dearly love. But he still enjoys a little time to think for himself.

 

Now you and he are not confused about what the answer is. And Iím going to say, all of you are a little younger than when you arrived this afternoon, because the Truth of what Iíve said and the Love with which Iíve said it has touched the Christ in each of you, and Itís a little more conscious. But, tomorrow, or on the way home in your car when you look at yourself in the rear view mirror, begin to use a little self-discipline. And when you see your fellow man, remember that here is your opportunity to stop getting older, as well as waking up.

 

QUESTION: Thank you.

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JUST SAY "UNCLE"!

 

QUESTION: Raj, the last couple of months have been really difficult for me at times. Thereís a feeling of frustration, of complete failure. I canít handle that any more. I know itís all about "falling apart," and I think Iím trying to keep myself up with spiritual teachings. But when I do that, then it all manifests in my body as insomnia, headaches, et cetera. Nothing is really fun.

 

RAJ: Transformation is very often like what you are describing. The old is less and less meaningful. But you know what? When you havenít been in the habit of embracing what is new, that can seem more distressing than the "old" getting old. "Why canít it be like itís been?" is the inner plea.

 

Now, this transformation, this "graduation" from the old to the new, requires something from you. It requires that you not resist itóthat is, if you want to experience it with grace. It means that, indeed, you must dare to let go into the "not knowing," let go into the emptiness, let go into the Void, as Iíve said many times.

 

Youíre really at the point of putting into practice all of the ideas that you have heard me express, because, you know, listening to Guidance, as youíre doing right now, isnít really a matter of getting information. Itís really a matter of helping you move to a point where you will willingly let go into the Void so that you might have the experience of the influx of enlightenment. It may well be inner guidance. It may well be realization. It may well be the experience of you becoming fuller of who You are and finding that who you are has new definition. But, you will never be responsible for creating the new you.

 

You will not get to choose who you are going to be. You will not be able to choose who it is you are becoming. You know why? Because who You are was eternally set in place by God. So, the only thing that can be happening here is that you are having the opportunity to experience a clearer perception of who You have always been. It is going to seem new to you because youíve had a dedication to who you thought you were for all these yearsómother, this, that, the other thing. But who are you when you arenít "mother"? Who are you!

 

So, let the Void be. Let it be, and abide with it. And stop fighting against it. Stop saying, "I shouldnít have to endure this," because the Void is the threshold of what is new. Why? Because itís empty of your old definitions of yourself. You see? Itís because itís empty of who you were so sure you thought you were that who You really are can infill that emptiness, that empty space.

 

The first time youíre really faced with this, it seems scaryótherefore difficult. And therefore it seems reasonable to define it as something "going wrong." But, I am encouraging you to let yourself be fully in this emptiness with willingness, not resistance, because when the inspiration fills it, you will have confirmation of the truth of what Iím saying.

 

The next time it happens, it wonít be as scary. Youíll say, "Oh, I recognize this. This is my friend"óthis experience, this Void. And with less resistance, you will move through it more quickly. But the first time, all of you would rather avoid it. Even those of you who have felt that you were "explorers" will avoid it, because in the past youíve always explored with intent and purpose. You picked what you were going to explore. You were in charge of the exploration process.

 

This is very different, because youíre not in charge. And you canít make the Phoenix rise out of the ashes. In effect, you have to let the fire burn. Which means that literally you have to let the light of Love permeate you, which It can only do when you are not in a willful state of mind. And as the light of Love fills youóthe Fatherís Love fills youówho You are becomes more clearly illuminated. It will seem to you that youíve made a progressive step, and you will be glad. But youíve got to not fight the fact that youíre at a threshold which you werenít responsible for arriving at, and say "uncle"!

 

Say, "Okay, God. Iím going to dare to be irresponsible and not be in charge of my forward movement. Iím going to dare to allow myself to abide in the Void, in the emptiness, the not knowing who I am, what I should be doing, what my purpose is, and I am going to let you fill this Void in your own sweet time." And that last part is the key thing, because if that part is hard for you to say, it tells you to what degree you still want to be in charge.

 

Godís time is now! And when you say, "in your own sweet time, I am willing to let it come forth"ómeaning even if it took a thousand yearsóthat is when your permission becomes absolute, without willfulness present.

 

Itís the assertion of authority that has always kept all of you blocked from what the Fatherís Will for you is, and therefore your experience of who You are as a divinely awakened beingóas the Christ.

 

So, here you are, at a place where the only thing you can really do that will mean anything is to say, "uncle." What is that willingness to say "uncle"? It is the willingness to make commitment to that which you havenít created. You could say that itís the willingness to make commitment to your spiritual path. Except, itís a path you canít know about ahead of time.

 

So many people say, "Iím on my spiritual path, and Iíve made commitment to it. Iíve made commitment to A Course in Miracles. Iíve made commitment to this particular truth. Iíve made commitment to this particular philosophy, and I practice it with devotion. But your spiritual path is the way you get back Home, the way you become sane again. So, when you say, "thy will be done," which is another way of saying, "uncle"óa little more palatable way . . . so youíd better say, "uncle" instead of "thy will be done" because it puts the emphasis where it needs to be, which is on your not being in charge at allóyou will find the infilling occurring. And the more you practice making that commitment on an ongoing basis, the more you will find the infilling occurring constantly.

 

What do you think Paul is doing at this very instant? When he sat down, he said to himself, "Thy will, not mine be done." You see? "I allow only for that which expresses the Christ consciousness, and only that which is in harmony with the purpose of Beingóthe Fatherís Will." You see? And so, the infilling occurs. The infilling is spontaneous. But everyone needs to take that step, instead of letting Paul do it for you, so that you are doing it and Paul is doing it.

 

There is that investment of commitment to being in the not-knowing place, so that the more of Reality that exists, and the more of your divinity that exists, can infill you, register with you, and redefine you to yourself. But you have to be willing to be in that scary place called the Void, where you donít know any more." Thatís whatís bugging you. Youíre in this place where you donít know any more, and it feels like hellóonly because you donít know what Heaven feels like!

 

What I mean is, that knowing who you are is hell. Having concepts about who you are and trying to live up to them is hell. Not knowing who you are, being in the Void, as Paul is doing right now, is not hell. It is Heaven . . . once you have allowed yourself to be there and experience the infilling of the Fatherís Will that occursóand the peace, the absolute absence of fear, and the clarity and the inspiration that literally constitutes your conscious awareness of things. And then you find out that being in the not-knowing place is Heaven, the very thing that at the moment feels like hell to you.

 

Iím saying, donít try to get out of it. Let yourself be in it, because itís the one place where the clearer experience of Reality can register with you. So, stop fighting it.

 

You know, Iíve also likened the not-knowing place to a vestibule, or an in-between placeólike in between two train cars, where youíre not in one or the other. Or a turntable in old train yards, where the engine would come up onto the turntable and stop, and then the turntable would turn, align itself with a new track, and the engine would take off. But while the turntable was turning, the engine was directionless, was incapable of movement with any direction. You see?

 

Value this in-between place. This in-between place really is what the Course refers to as "the little gap" that you slip through. But you wonít slip through it if you keep dancing around it and doing your damndest not to slip into it. You see? So, Iím telling you, this is not a place or an experience to avoid. Itís one to value. It is one that you have been conditioned to steer clear of, and so you have to overrule or override that conditioning. And, itís worth it!

 

I promise you that five years from now, you will tell me that this wasnít half as bad as you expected it to be, and it didnít last nearly as long is you thought it would, and it wasnít such a big deal after all. And it certainly wasnít the end. So, I cannot relieve you of this experience youíre having. And I would be doing you no favor to try to help you avoid it. Just . . . say . . . "uncle"!

 

Put it on your refrigerator: "Just say Ďuncleí!" Give up! Give up trying to know who you are, where youíre going, what your function is, and be still and let the silence be filled.

 

If you have a short glass, and you have a stack of twelve or thirteen silver dollars in it, and you set it into your kitchen sink and fill the sink up with water above the level of the glass, the whole interior of the glass is not filled with water, because some of the space is filled by the silver dollars.

 

Well, let us say that the silver dollars are like your definitions of yourselfóall of your confidences about who you are and how to behave and whatís right and whatís wrong, and so on and so forth. Letís say that the water is the presence of God. It is Itís function to fill the glass, and Itís willing to do it, but It canít force the silver dollars out, because you have the right to fill it with silver dollars if you want. And then you arrive at a point where suddenly silver dollars are not very meaningful to you, and so you stop valuing them, even though it begins to make you feel empty. This is like beginning to reach into the water and take the silver dollars out.

 

Now, water always seeks its own level. The water will fill in the space as you take the silver dollars out. So, what Iím trying to point out is that as the things that have been meaningful to you have less value for you, and you canít hold onto them, and they seem to disintegrate, know that there is an inevitable replacement of the space they took up! By what? By What is really meant to be filling that space, Which is the presence of God in you.

 

So, you used to be worth twelve silver dollars, and now youíre beginning to feel like youíre worth less and less and less. And, unbeknownst to you, as you accept that, and there are fewer and fewer silver dollars, thereís more and more of the presence of God, Which you will sooner or later become aware of, and feel a new sense of Purpose, . . but not one that you chose. So, why not say, "Oh, I see whatís happening here. Iím going to stop fighting it, and Iím going to let it happen." And instead of compulsively paying attention to how much less and less and less good you feel, how much less and less and less sure of yourself you feel, let there be some curiosity to experience Whatís replacing them as they disappear, because That is inevitably and unalterably going to replace them.

 

It may not be fun, but itís only from the standpoint of your conditioned thinking that it isnít enjoyable. Like the Prodigal Son, the moment he turned his head toward home, his father came out . . . ran out to meet him. The water began to replace the silver dollars. The Prodigal Son says, "This is so humiliating, to have to come back home under these circumstances. This is not a very pleasant experience." You see? No one likes to do it! But the fact is that the lifestyle, the concepts, the behaviors, the attitudes that were being indulged in, werenít derived from your Sourceófrom Godóand they werenít really yours. And it was your birthright to be at Home. And so, no matter how it seems to feel to you on the way Home, donít give up the commitment to getting Home, because the moment thereís a shred of commitment, a shred of interest, a shred of intent, the Father comes out to meet youóthe new infills you. But youíve got to let the process happen!

 

Iíll tell you something else: What happens will not be as important as what you learn about "yielding to the process." Because what you learn about yielding into the not-knowing place is something that will stay with you for eternity. And to whatever degree you embrace it now and learn from it, Iím going to say, "it will color the rest of your experience." But it will color it with Love, and it will color it with Life, and it will color it with Meaning. It will color it beautifully. It will color it ultimately with pure Sanity!

 

Now, what Iíve said will be on a tape. And you will be able to listen to it over and over and over again. And every time you listen to it, at the bottom line all it will say is: Say "uncle." Say "uncle"!

 

Somewhere between now and your being totally Awake, the word "uncle" will change to "Father". . . but let it be "uncle" right now.

 

QUESTION: Thank you.

 

RAJ: You are welcome.

 

[New questioner]

 

QUESTION: I have a follow-up question, and that is that as one lets the water in that replaces the silver dollars, what happens sometimes is that I feel invisible. I mean, where other people expect to see silver dollars, thereís the absence of that. And so, Iím suffering with feeling unrecognized sometimes. And what I trust will come is that the infilling will just have me recognize them, and it wonít be an issue for me. But in the interim, some of my suffering has been that I just feel like people donít see me. So, I just wanted to ask about that.

 

RAJ: This is a "suffer it to be so now." This is something you will have to put up with.

 

When you are looking through a set of perceptions, you are looking through a sieve, and Reality can only get to you through the design of that sieve. And, as a result, there is much of Reality that could say, "My god, I feel invisible because she doesnít recognize me." All It can do, though, is continue to gloriously be what It is until you let a new pattern emerge, or let less pattern interfere. And thatís all you can do.

 

Now, that can make you feel friendless. But, you know what? Although it might seem that there are not a whole lot of awakened, enlightened beings on this planet, you will really never be able to get to a point where you are invisible to everyone. And as you grow, and seem to grow beyond the patterns of the sieves that others are using, you will always find that there is somebody there ahead of you, who will recognize you, and with whom you can enjoy camaraderie, until the others arrive at their point of transformation. You see?

 

So, instead of looking at what youíre losing, be curious for what seems to be in this Void that you are not yet recognizing. For Paul, his whole world, you might say, in terms of what was important to him, was the Christian Science Church, and all of its structure, all of its functions, and so on. The second big thing for him was his job. This was just prior to my coming along.

 

Well, he lost his job, and by virtue of my coming along, he became invisible to Christian Scientists. In other words, he became invisible to those he felt his validation would come from. His scope of vision had not taken in much more than that and, as he came to realize, there were more people in the world who didnít care whether he fit into the Christian Science Church than there were in the Christian Science Church who did care. You see?

 

More than that, there were people who were interested in the Truth, whether it came through a certain sieve called the teachings of Christian Science or not. And so, where it seemed to him as though his life had suddenly become literally empty, he became acquainted with so much more of the world than he had been embracing before, and what you might call a "job" that he would never have conceived of, and a way of being aliveóof participating or engaging in lifeóthat was far different.

 

Now, you can see that [about him]. I can see that about you. So, donít worry about who youíre invisible to. Be curious about those to whom, I guarantee you, you are visible.

 

QUESTION: Thank you.

 

RAJ: You are welcome. Just because friends are friends doesnít mean you have the right to force them to keep up with you, or to see things the way you do. If theyíre really friends, let them have whatever distance they feel they need, and you will meet again.

 

[New questioner]

 

QUESTION: I was listening to the last question, and it really struck me on a personal level, because before I sold my house, I had lived there for about nine years and I developed relationships with people who I thought were my friends. But, as the time drew nearer to leave that area, I experienced a very odd sensation of not having any friends. The people who I thought I could count on were absent from my life. And whether this actually happened or not, I found that no matter where I turned, it felt very much like people were turning away. It felt very lonely.

 

Now I experience an inability to plan. Iím not a planner any more. I find that things are just falling into place. And the people who are coming into my life are there willingly. So, when itís time for us to turn in a new direction, is that one of Godís ways of providing us with that new focus? Are we being drawn away from what weíve outgrown, and moved toward what weíre supposed to be facing?

 

RAJ: Sometimes you get that kind of help, yes. But that was not the case here. You simply "evolved" into a new patternóa less patterned patternówhich caused you not to fit in the places where you had fit before. And others could not find the connection with you. Finding no connection, they felt no impulse to connect. It is that simple.

 

One might say, "Well, if thatís whatís going to happen if I allow transformation to occur . . . if Iím going to lose friends . . . then I donít want transformation," or, "I donít want it yet." Unfortunately, youíre never in charge of your transformation . . . or fortunately.

 

Iíll tell you something. When transformation occurs, you always become a little bit more real. You always become a little more grounded. And if your relationships have been based on unreality and ungroundedness, youíre not going to find those relationships functioning. Itís that simple.

 

Now, you could afford to be upset, you could justify being upset, if you were in charge of your transformation . . . although that doesnít make sense. However, because the movement of your essential Being is what is responsibleóthe presence of God in you is responsible for your transformationóthen to be upset with it is useless! To be frustrated by it is useless! And the only workable conclusion you can come to is to say, "uncle." I canít put it any other way.

 

In your more grounded state of being more real, more genuine, you will have the capacity to continue to relate to others. You will find yourself desiring to. But the others will not feel comfortable with someone who is more real, because your presence will uncover stuff that they donít want to have uncovered. And so, yes, in a sense they will withdraw. They, as I said, will not feel the impulse to connect with you yet.

 

The time will come when they will. It might be a long time. But, you know what? The scales change. They rebalance as each one makes commitment to his or her own transformation and becomes more grounded. The result is that it becomes increasingly difficult for those who want to be ungrounded to remain ungrounded. And they find themselves at this place where what meant something, or had value to them, is no longer having valueóthe first stage of the experience of transformation where nothing seems to mean anything, which will propel them into the Void as well.

 

So, it is a favor that everyone does, when they choose for yielding to their own transformation. And if doing that means a temporary disconnection with those who had been friends, let it be that way. You know you havenít rejected them. You know that wasnít your intent. But the simple fact that you donít really have a choice about going along with your transformation means that that better be your focus of attention, rather than whatís happened to everyone else.

 

Paul has friends all over the world. What I mean to say is that yielding into the Void and letting the infilling occur, opens you up to so much more of life than you were embracing beforeóin a more meaningful way, and with less fearóthat if you look back, as Paul can, and think of those "friends" whom he still has no communication with, the loss of those friends is miniscule, is not as meaningful as the way heís experiencing life now and those with whom he can communicate. You see? Because thereís been such expansion.

 

You gotta say "uncle," and go with it!

 

The way Existence works, the way Being works, is beneficent. And so, you can dare to yield your control over to It. Allow loss of friends. Allow whatever happens in the process. Donít quibble if you donít have a sense of peace because things seem to be topsy-turvy. Because whatís happening isóand Iím talking about when real transformation is occurring. Iím not talking about when someoneís throwing a temper tantrum or acting spoiled, but when real transformation is occurring . . .

 

[At this point, the flow of words was lost and approximately ten minutes passed in silence while Paul struggled to recapture the continuity.]

 

RAJ: Paul lost the thought, the flow. And although I am not requiring that what I was saying continue, Paul has been, during the last ten minutes or so, having the conscious intent for the idea to be completed. He is experiencing a need to appear to be somewhat competent, but there ainít no such fella.

 

Now . . .

 

[More silence]

 

Paul is experiencing some self-consciousness. And yet, heís not committed to it. But he wishes that he were invisible.

 

In order for him to hear me at all at this point, considering the ego dynamics he has been going through, he has had to desire to be more in touch with his peace than to be in touch with saving faceóto be in touch with me rather than in touch with his self-consciousness. Part of him still wants me to make him look good. And yet, what he is having to do is to value the Void moreóthat place where he, personally, egotistically, is totally incompetentóand to be incompetent without self-consciousness, to be incompetent without apology. Thatís called "being more real"óthe kind of reality that others canít find a way to fit in with.

 

It is being a little bit difficult for Paul to let in what Iím saying, because what has happened here in the last ten minutes or so is illustrating what I was about to say [before he lost the flow], and he is being the illustration. And he is not sure, without knowing what it is that is being illustrated, whether he wants to be the illustration. Yet intelligence is being expressed. You are all understanding what is happening. Even a little humor has been expressed. And although some of you have felt uncomfortable for him, his letting himself into acknowledgment of his incompetence without apology has not made you uncomfortable, and thatís an important point.

 

As one becomes more real, as one allows himself or herself to be genuinely present without a front, which will, indeed, always feel as though itís a state of incompetence as far as the ego is concerned, it never makes anyone feel uncomfortable. It may make some not know how to fit in with you, and as a result you may feel like you have become invisible, but that is not a factor that should be getting your attention.

 

Iíll tell you something: As Paul has sat here, intent upon getting beyond self-consciousness, his peace has returned almost completely. His feeling of stability that he has been enjoying all this afternoon is returning. And the interruption of the flow of love has come to an end, even though it may be coming out haltingly. But this is okay. He knows I was just about to say something, which he blocked when he lost the flow.

 

RAJ: (Continuing) Genuineness and realness, which can emerge into oneís awareness when he allows himself to be in the Void, constitutes humility. And humility and innocence are inseparable. This is important. Humility and innocence are inseparable.

 

The reason you must allow the apparent frustrations, the apparent loss of friends or associates, temporarily, as you yield to transformation is because in yielding to it, humility replaces arrogance that had once been there. Innocence becomes illuminated where you are, and that is, for lack of better words, "cleansing."

 

Everyone is blessed. But most of all, you come into the conscious experience of utter safety and invulnerability. As the Prodigal comes home through "the wasteland of the Void," not giving reverence to guilt and humiliation, the Father comes forth, the infilling begins to occur. And part of the infilling is the experiential assurance, which you receive of your utter innocence.

 

So, donít quibble about the apparent dynamics that attend your yielding to your transformations that might seem like losses. If you seem to be invisible, let it be that way.

 

I will tell you something: As you yield to the transformation that is occurring, rather than resisting it, you will find that you are being led by something. If transformation is happening, there is an intelligent "end" toward which the transformation is moving. And instead of looking at what you seem to be losing, if you will pay attention for That which is leading the transformation forward, you will feel loved. You will feel comfort. And you will find yourself able to look at the things which your ego had called distressing with compassion and without judgment.

 

Does that answer your question?

 

QUESTION: Yes, it does. Thank you very much.

 

RAJ: You are welcome.

 

Paul, during the last fifteen minutes or so, has been the literal expression of what I have shared, and does not at the moment grasp the meaning of what I said. He will have the delightful opportunity, upon listening to it later, of seeing that more happened than he bargained for, and that a learning has occurred for everyone that could not have been better promoted than by Paulís being exactly what he was able to be.

 

I am making him a little bit uncomfortable. And to him it seems as though I am speaking nonsense at the moment. That is okay, and he is willing to let it be okay, even though the longer I speak, the more he feels as though I am making a fool out of him, since "nothing meaningful is happening at the moment." You see?

 

Now, what he doesnít realize is that the transformation is going on for him, and he is daring to stay with his eyes focused on Home from the not-knowing place. At the moment he is not comfortable. I mean by that that he is not at ease, even though it might appear and sound by the tone of his voice that he is as much at ease now as he was earlier in the afternoon.

 

What Iím pointing out is that letting yourself be in the Void, where there is no feeling of competence, whatsoever, and not resisting being there, allows infilling of love and clarity that you, yourself, will not be responsible for, and yet which you cannot be separate from. And whether you are feeling uncomfortable about it, like Paul has, or whether you are feeling uncomfortable about side-effectsóloss of friends, this, that, and the other thingóyou, if you will dare to stay there, will find the fullness of the transformation registering with you.

*******************************************************************

 

INFLICTING YOUR GOOD

 

QUESTION: My young brother has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and it was just a couple of months ago. However, he has decided that heís going to die. And knowing what I know has been very difficult, because he doesnít want to hear anything from anybody because he has made a definite decision regarding this.

 

I guess I want to know if itís appropriate for me to . . .

 

RAJ: You want to know if there is any way you can inflict your good on him!

 

QUESTION: Yes. That came to the surface also.

 

RAJ: No, there isnít.

 

QUESTION: There isnít. Okay. Just let him go.

 

RAJ: When did you ever have hold of him?

 

QUESTION: (Laughing) Okay. I got it.

 

RAJ: Does that mean you canít love him? Does that mean that you, within yourself, canít be consciously aware of the truth about him, that he is suffering from a misperception or misunderstanding, and thatís all? No, it doesnít mean that you canít do that. But, be sure that you donít sit there being aware of what is true about him as a means of mentally coercing his mind into a realization of it!

 

I know the total divine truth, the total infinite divine Reality of You. But I canít make you embrace It. It is not my task to make you embrace It. And likewise itís not your task to make anyone else embrace whatever wonderful clarity you are experiencing. And so, if you neglect to attempt to change their mind, there is no cause for guilt, because youíre actually being intelligent not to try to do something you canít do. You see?

 

QUESTION: Yes. Thatís exactly what I was looking for. Thank you.

 

RAJ: Does anyone else have difficulty with what Iíve just said, or have a question around that issue?

 

[New questioner]

 

QUESTION: Well, I think itís sort of around this issue. I just found out that a young friend of ours is using heroin. And my first inclination is to go and speak with him about it, having had a brother who, for six years, was a heroin addict. And I just wonder if you feel that thatís an appropriate thing for me to do.

 

RAJ: It is appropriate for you to open your mouth and extend your love actively in a verbal way until he indicates that he doesnít want to hear any more of it, which is the case here [with the last questioner].

 

QUESTION: Okay.

 

RAJ: Many of you might say, "Well, maybe if I really did speak up, things would change." Well, things wonít change as a result of your speaking up, unless your "speaking up" has been impelled by the Father.

 

If youíre speaking up because in your spiritual background or metaphysical training, you have learned and now believe that your personally knowing the truth can make you free, or make someone else free, then you would be inclined to speak up on the basis of a metaphysical principle. You see? Which has nothing to do with Knowing, at the deepest part of your being, what is utterly appropriate in that momentówhen whatís appropriate in that moment might be absolute silence!

 

I do not speak to Paul unless Paul speaks to me. Do you know what one of the wonderful benefits of that is? It is that Paul knows that if he wants to come Home, he has to take the steps. And do you know whatís wonderful for me, is that since he doesnít think I can do it for him, he doesnít lay the responsibility on me. Therefore, our relationship is very clear. He is not disempowered, and I am not given adoration because of what he thinks I can do for him. And so thereís a very real, grounded love in this relationship that he and I have. Thatís what you want with these people. Thatís what you want with anyone in your lives who you wish you could do something for.

 

If you want to do something for them, listen for what is appropriate. And then do what you have deeply felt is appropriate. Even if itís saying nothing. You see? Anything else confuses the issue, and everything gets muddled in projected responsibilities on everything else "out-there," and no vital, real connection occurs, because everyoneís playing into expectations.

 

Gurus play into the expectations of their students. And then students respond to the expectations of their gurus. And they all end up serving concepts and not Truthóand a loss of individual integrity.

 

The Prodigal Son did not start for home until he got sick and tired of the pig slop! And the father did not go out after him while he was in the pig slop to try to change his mind. Thatís love. It keeps things clear.

 

When Paul gets Home, he will not be able to blame anyone else for his being someplace heís not sure he wants to be.

*******************************************************************

 

THE NATURE OF BEING AWAKE

 

QUESTION: I have a question about the nature of being Awake, and the nature of human, emotional experienceótragedies, the dark and the light experiences that we have that kind of swing us like a bell. One moment weíre in tragedy, and the next moment or the next week or the next year weíre . . .

 

RAJ: You want to know something that is helpful? Thereís a part of the bell that isnít movingóthe very top. The movement is minuscule, and itís far away from the clanger.

 

There is a "point-of-stillness" in all movement, as contradictory as that sounds. And the point is to find that point-of-stillness and be in the midst of life from there. In that point-of-stillness is where you are one with everything universally. Actually. But when any of you abandon that infinite vantage point and view it from a body stance, from an identification with body, then you will feel vulnerable, you will become defensive.

 

As I said, the movement of the energy of Spirit will seem to be something "impacting" youóharshness, stillness, harshness, stillnessówhen the fact is that if you learn to abide at the still-point, the movement will never be experienced impactfully, but always as the experience of the movement of grace. There will be no way to conceptualize the movement as polarized, so tragedy and comedy will not be your experience. You see?

 

When you separate yourself from the experience of your Christ-hood and conceive of yourself as a mortalóa human being, a body with a brain that has synapses that cause you to have an experience of consciousness, but itís all physicalóand the Christ of you comes and knocks on your door, you see the Christ as an intruder. You see the Christ as a threat.

 

All there is is the Movement of God, being seen clearly or being seen "through a glass darkly." And if itís "through a glass darkly," itís going to seem to be polarized when itís absolutely undivided and indivisible, when it isnít at all what youíre calling it. So the key is to find that still-point.

 

QUESTION: Could you describe, then, from your experience on earth . . . itís my understanding from the Bible that there were times when you, as Jesus, felt emotionó"Jesus wept." Iím curious about the experience of being Awake and yet being in the human emotional experience. Whatís that like?

 

RAJ: Well, I want you to understand that compassion is not an emotion. And the capacity to comprehend dilemmas involves a Soul experience of infinite caring. But this does not constitute an emotion. An emotion is a reaction, and reactions arise out of incomplete data. Compassion and the expression of Soul arise out of complete data, out of Knowing everything.

 

It does not make me sad to see all of you suffering from nothing. But when you are, your capacity to be present with us, to be present with me, is limited. And so you could say, I miss and I look forward to being able to be with all of you without the interference of a sense of suffering that isnít really going on. You see? One could say, perhaps, that that is an emotion, but you know what? To recognize something exquisitely beautiful is a recognition of Truth, and it feels good, but itís not an emotional response. What it is is an unobstructed experience of the presence of God right there, by God Himself. Itís me claiming no private point of view of my own, and therefore allowing Godís point of view to be my point of view as God sees and recognizes the utter exquisiteness of what He is in what He is seeing. And there is, because it is such a natural experience, a desire, you might say, to experience only That.

 

For the most part, that is all I experience. That is all that any of us who are Awake experience. Except thereís this little band of us, this little group of us suffering from nothing, preoccupied with nothing. And so we look forward to, we desire to have, the full experience of your presence and your conscious experience of being present with us, without the obstruction of this silly distraction.

 

The weeping, as it were, was an expression of compassion, but it was far from an expression of helplessness. We care, and thatís not an emotion. We love, because we are Love. We embrace because thatís the nature of Love. And if our embrace isnít noticed, this Vision, this Knowing of the fullness of the potential in our relationship remains paramount. And so, whether you feel the embrace or not, whether you are too busy to notice it because you just forgot to love, it doesnít minimize our intent, our inclination to do what I told you to do at the beginning of this afternoon. Even if ignorance of our presence has been going on for 2,000 years or longer by many of you, it doesnít mean that a moment isnít all it takes for a change to occur. And so we do not become hopeless. We persist.

 

I suppose one could say that our unalterable desire could be called a yearning to be with you all, with your knowing that youíre with us! You see? But yearning is an emotion. Nevertheless, we care and persist in our desire to have this glorious experience which it is our Birthrightóyours and mine and the rest of the Brotherhoodóto be experiencing with each other.

 

We feel our caring, we feel our Loveóand we embrace you in It. We know that at the very moment when youíre all preoccupied with your . . . well, distracted with nothing . . . that your capacity to experience us purely and with your full Birthright is right there! Your capacity is ever present. And we want . . . we want to experience the unity, the connection with you. But itís not an emotion.

 

Donít you find that often the purest feeling of love is accompanied with tears? It has nothing to do with sadness.

 

QUESTION: No, it is not a reaction.

 

RAJ: That is correct.

 

QUESTION: Thank you.

 

RAJ: You are welcome. I would like to add a little something to what Iíve been saying. The window is a force field, I said. A pattern of energy. Well, that could sound very scientific, very mechanical. Bzzzzztóforce field!

 

What is the energy of Spirit? The energy of Spirit is Love. And so, I have just shared, in a way, our Love for youóthe Love of those who are Awake, for you who are Awake but donít believe it. You are embraced by It, and I will tell you that It is healing. What I want you to understand is that the energy of the glass, the energy of your body, is the energy of Spirit which is Love, and so you are being constantly loved by absolutely everything.

 

"Well, itís just a light switch!" [gesturing toward the wall] "This isnít even real wood!" [pointing to a bookcase]

 

If it exists, itís Love embodiedóLove that is actively loving. So it isnít that you just have a body that has an intent to identify the presence of your Individuality perfectly, and isnít that nice of it? Why does it have an intent to identify you perfectly? Because itís Love! And it embodies the Fatherís Intent because Thatís the only thing there is to be embodied.

 

So, you know what? What you call every aspect of every energy pattern that you identify and call your body, desiresójust like we doófor you to recognize its Love that embraces you, so that you might experience conscious communion of Love with it. Do you see?

 

"Television is an invention of man" [touching the television].

 

Well, I donít care what you call it! There is form. And the only thing that form can be made out of is energy. And the only energy available to make form out of is Loveóthe energy of Spirit. And so, as long as Itís there in that form, It desires of you that you recognize the Love with which Itís loving you, so that you might be able to look at it and say, "Itís just like me! It isnít a foreign object, created by human beings, and probably for wrong reasons." It doesnít matter.

 

And so you might say that everything that you see and think is so different from you, yearns for you to recognize yourselfóthe essence of what you really areóin it. We talked about having an object of your affection. I want you all to realize that youíre the object of affection of a universe. Itís a wholeness.

 

So, as I said: Loveóyou gotta let It out and you gotta let It in.

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Volume 9, Number 3 / September 1997

Conversations with Raj, © 1997, is published by the

Northwest Foundation for "A Course in Miracles,"

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