CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ

VOL. 8, NOS. 5 & 6

1992

 

Thank God "Waking Up" Isn't Up to You!

 

QUESTION: I would like to have a broader perspective about physical manifestations of blocked bliss.

 

RAJ: Why would you not want me to talk about the physical manifestations of unblocked bliss?

 

QUESTION: Because I feel that so many of us have blocked bliss in the form that runs the gamut from nagging headaches to earaches to toothaches to arthritis to tightened muscles, all the way up to debilitating diseases. I have a wonderment about whether it means anything or not, or is it like Freud said: "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar"?

 

RAJ: Just for a point of clarification—because all of the physical manifestations of blocked bliss which you mentioned were "body" manifestations—what about being caught in a traffic jam on the way to a business meeting that you are late for? What about running into red light after red light after red light, instead of being able to flow through? What about not being able to find a parking place that isn't closer than three blocks from your destination, et cetera? In other words, the evidences of blocked bliss are represented in your whole experience, and not just in what you would call personal physical manifestations relative to your body.

 

It is really very simple: Blocked bliss is a result of a very conscious act of not giving yourself permission to experience fulfillment. You each have your own reasons, you each have your own beliefs, and they all seem justifiable. Do you know what will uncover what those specific beliefs are the fastest? Beginning to give yourself permission to experience unreasonable good—in other words, if you will give yourself permission to experience good that you can't justify.

 

Now, don't begin to give yourself permission to experience unreasonable good so that you can find out what the blocks are. Do it so that you can have the experience of unjustifiable good! Then appreciate the fact that in the process, all of your conditioned arguments will tend to present themselves to you. When they do, disbelieve them. Don't deal with them. Invalidate them!

 

Say, "O-o-o-h, so you're one of the ways I have used to keep myself from experiencing unjustifiable good. Ah-h-h. Bye-bye." You're not going to fight it. You're not going to try to talk it away. All you have to do is recognize that it is one of the silly nonsensical beliefs, which you have utilized to justify withholding permission for unjustifiable good.

 

"It is the Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom." What does that mean? It means that the Father withholds nothing of what He is—or, shall I say the Father-Mother withholds nothing of what He-She is from His-Her Self-expression called you. Because that is the Fact, it is inevitable that each of you will arrive at a point where you no longer justify not experiencing the Wholeness of the Father Which is expressed right where you are. That's inevitable!

 

I'm going to tell you something: As Awakening generally occurs around your planet and there are fewer and fewer individuals joining with you in your beliefs of limitation, it is going to become harder and harder for you to maintain those limits. And you're going to think that something has gone wrong because you are having to work so hard not to have your good.

 

As you all know, there is what is called a "work ethic." I'm going to encourage all of you to begin to employ an "Unjustifiable Fulfillment Ethic."

 

The work ethic says, "You put forth effort and you will get an equivalent return. And if you have a product that is really super, you may get a return which is greater than the effort put forth." But you are conditioned to believe that "you cannot have good that you have not earned." That is a concept, not a fact!

 

Really speaking, does that mean that you can have infinite abundance and goof off? Do nothing? Can you just sit somewhere and expect abundance to find its way to you?

 

We must be careful as we answer that question, and so I'm going to answer it in two parts. The first part is that initially, as you are breaking out of this work ethic—by means of which you keep your good at a distance from you because you haven't fulfilled your part of the bargain yet—you must say yes, that you can expect unjustifiable fulfillment to come to you just because you exist! You must do that in order to break the rut, the very deep rut that is firmly reinforced with your beliefs that you cannot have what you have not earned.

 

Now, what happens when you really do that? Well, your good begins to come to you. The only thing is, that it isn't a "good" which is not related to you, like dollar bills—where you are one thing and the dollar bills are something else...although I am not saying that you will not have the dollar bills.

 

What happens is: You become enlivened with meaning in your life which has been absent, and you will begin to find yourself engaged in activity that identifies the meaningfulness of you. Associated with that, you will also find fulfillment occurring in ways that you are not at all personally responsible for. In other words, you will not be able to say, "Because I did this, that came into my experience." So, you will not end up like some lazy person sitting idly in a rocking chair, uninvolved with life, with the riches of the world being brought to you.

 

The essential first step, though, is to give yourself permission to experience unreasonable or unjustifiable fulfillment just because it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom. The Father, the Life-Principle, the infinite intelligence, is incapable of withholding from Its Self-expression the full embodiment of What It is. Therefore, if you exist, you must be the full embodiment of It. And if a leaf exists, it must be the full embodiment of the Father. And if an atom or energy pattern exists, it must be the full embodiment of the Father.

 

Blocked bliss is a result of a definition of yourself that you have arrived at which says, "I am not worthy," or "I have no job," or "I have a job, but it doesn't pay well and there's nothing else available," or "the economy is bad." Or, as is the case in a recession, "I'm over-qualified." It doesn't just have to be a sense of lack. One can be over-qualified for the jobs that are available. And so, you can suffer lack because you are too smart and because you are not smart enough.

 

Ultimately, throughout this time that we are going to be together, we will be talking about claiming your Birthright by identifying yourself correctly as the Son or Daughter of God—the expression of God from which God has withheld nothing of what He-She is. And how do you identify yourself properly? Well, not really by means of a long string of words that describe you as a divine being. Those long strings of words are helpful to give you a context in which you can dare to become still enough (because you feel safe enough) to go within (not keep your mind full of the chatter that makes you feel like you are intelligent) and experience in the stillness of you the essence of you.

 

The words are ultimately valuable because what they do is help you come to a point where you can conceive that when you get down to this essence of you, which is in the silence within you, it won't be a crummy nerd that really is unworthy, and where, as a result of your experiencing it directly, you will truly be convicted in your unworthiness.

 

You use the words to help bring you, through reason, to a point where you can dare to go into the quietness within you and experience what is there in spite of anything you think. In connecting with That, you begin to have a direct experience of Who you Are. Now begins the adventure of discovering what your Identity is, and that It is absolutely equivalent to every true expression that has been made about what God is.

 

There is a phrase I would like you to remember. It is not original with me. The phrase is: "Man is not God, but God is all there is to man." This expresses a very important distinction, because if you say, "I am God,"…if you say "Man is God," then God will begin to be defined according to your present concept of what "man" is, and thus, because you are disintegrated, because you seem to be a conglomeration of polarized aspects, you will see God as polarized—both loving and wrathful.

 

Man is not God, but God is all there is to man. If you want to find out about God, you don't start with your present sense of yourself. You shut up all the definitions that provide you with a sense of yourself, and you do that by becoming still and going within, where you have the opportunity to find that there is already something there! Again, the first evidence of it is peace. The next evidence that emerges is joy. And the next evidence of it that emerges is love—just love that is unavoidably there. Not something you can turn on and turn off. It's just You!

 

Now that you have identified yourself on the basis of an experience rather than a definition that has come from your thinking and your reasoning, you will find yourself feeling a movement. The first characteristic of that movement will be integrity, safety, invulnerability. They sound like three things, but as an experience, they are inseparable. And then movement similar to motivation will be felt, because You will have become meaningful to you, and life will seem to take on meaning. In this place you will not bring up the justifications you have [in the past] for not experiencing your good. You will not bring into play the blocks to your bliss.

 

Let's be very clear on something: Bliss is utterly natural. Bliss is wonderful but not overwhelming.

 

You block your good by virtue of the definitions you have adopted and which you now employ relative to who you are. The gift of God—the not-withholding-anything-of-what-God-is that is constantly the nature and movement of your Being—insists upon being what It is. The moment you begin to give the slightest bit of permission for unreasonable good or unreasonable fulfillment to occur, you will have let a crack open in the door that allows an experience of that uninterruptible flow of fulfillment, which it is your Birthright to be experiencing, and which does not have to be earned.

 

"Overly-simple," you say? No. Just simple. However, your abundance, your unreasonable abundance, will cost you something. You will have to sacrifice the pleasure of being responsible for, of being able to take credit for your good. That is a real drug. The "hit" that you get from accomplishing something which you can take credit for feels like something you can't dare to let go of. You will have to sacrifice pride.

 

It is humiliating to be the beneficiary of an unqualified expression of unconditional love. It is humiliating to receive something you haven't earned. Why? Because it leaves you powerless. It leaves you without any sense of authority. You think that it means being the equivalent of a beggar. And so, in order to experience a reasonable amount of self-respect, you indulge in, you engage in, a work ethic, and you earn your good.

 

You are like the sons or daughters of a king, whose birthright is royalty and wealth, who say, "But, I didn't earn this. Damn it, I'm going to go out and make it on my own so that I can have a sense of my own worthiness." And so this one who is utterly wealthy and royal—we could say divine—goes out and behaves like a commoner, and struggles, ignoring his birthright of wealth and royalty that he cannot get rid of.

 

I will tell you something: As you truly begin to embrace yourself as a divine being, as a Son or Daughter of God, the direct expression of the infinite Mind, God—as the Christ, in other words—as you begin to do that, and as you begin to release your addiction to being responsible for your good so that you can take credit for it and therefore be respectable, you will indeed begin to find marvelous things happening for no reason.

 

Many of you have fun dabbling in your infinity and your unreasonable abundance by expecting to find a parking place, and finding it,…or having an open space in the traffic on the freeway so that you have flexibility and ease of changing lanes and getting where you need to without forcing an issue in high-speed traffic. You can't say that you "made it happen." If you made it happen, you could explain to somebody else how to make it happen, and they could do it, too. But what do you have to say? You have to say, "I was just open to it. I visualized it and I let it happen. I didn't do it, but when I didn't do it, it happened!"

 

Now, [sarcastically] this is great! If you have a whole lot of little instances like that, where you watch this truth in action, that is tolerable, because you still have other more major areas of your life where you are taking personal responsibility and you are getting the "hit" of success at your accomplishments. But, if you will embrace more, and you let more and more of your unreasonable good occur, there is going to come a day when it will be obvious to you that you have to make a choice and go all the way. That's when you will find out just how much you love to be in charge, just how much it means to you what kind of a "hit" it gives, and a very gross clarity as to the degree of your depravity.

 

I'll be very honest with you: You will find that you are hooked on self-destruction, that you are hooked on the denial of What you Are. And therefore you are hooked on the denial of God—all because of the importance of the "fix" of accomplishing something that you can take credit for. I am putting that in strong language—not to make a point, not to make an impression, but to state what is really the case. I'm just "saying it as it is."

 

All the time that you are refusing to experience unreasonable good, you are maintaining and keeping strong your sense of your ego, and all of the good that you have created for yourself remains forever tenuous. You can lose it! And so, you have two things that go on, the pride in your accomplishments and a forever underlying abiding fear of losing it. This is what the prince or princess who has gone out into the world experiences. But, if they had stayed at home, they would have experienced their Birthright in its uninterruptible form, and they would have experienced themselves in their Wholeness.

 

The "high" of accomplishment and self-crediting for the accomplishment, is always polarized—always has opposites. And you never can really feel your integrity. You never can let down your guard. You never can let go of control, because control is the only way you have accomplished anything.

 

Thank God "waking up" isn't up to you, as you presently perceive yourselves!

 

Thank God that the integrity I spoke of earlier, the divinity that I spoke of earlier, which is forever present with you and is motivating your Awakening, is there!

 

Thank God that you cannot block out completely every last vestige of your memory of Who you Are, and Where you Are, and What everything Is.

 

Thank God that in your insistence upon your addiction to accomplishment and pride, you cannot totally block the experience of your integrity. You cannot block totally the conviction within yourself that it is the Father's good pleasure to give you the Kingdom, and that you do not have to earn, by efforting, every single bit of good...or any of your good.

 

Illusion, the dream of existence, is weakening because more people are Awakening and withdrawing the support for the beliefs that block bliss. There are more and more of you having the unreasonable conviction that you can give permission for unreasonable good or fulfillment, and you're daring to step out and test the waters of "the absence of control," testing the waters of yielding to your fulfillment, rather than trying to create it.

 

Blocked bliss…

 

Do you see that the prince or the princess have taken a conscious step away from their royalty and their birthright to say, "But, Father, I'd rather do it myself "? And that because of whatever comes of doing it themselves, they sacrifice their experience of their birthright and their experience of who they really are, and the fact that they are already whole without having to earn it?

 

It is important to know that you are experiencing ignorance as a result of conscious choice—not so that you can blame yourselves for it, but so that you may know that you have within yourselves what it takes to "go back home," to know that you have enough authority to change your mind and to not continue to try to express by your actions in the world authority to mechanically duplicate what is already yours.

 

Like any addict, you can taper off slowly, with strength, and arrive at a point where you have not indulged in the drug for some period of time. But when you come to that point of making commitment to not being a drug user, and to never take the drug again, that is the test! In some ways it is easy to be off a drug if you think that you could have it in a pinch.

 

To let go of the limited self-appraisal and give yourselves permission to experience the good which is unalterably yours, and never again engage in the degree of control that allows you to accomplish something that you can take credit for...that is the real kernel of Awakening, because it is at that point that you make commitment to not having a mind different from the Father's Mind. It is where you make commitment to not having a point of view different from the Father's View.

 

The thought is that that will constitute a total loss of identity. Do you want to know something? Your identity has forever been what it is, just like the prince and the princess. They are royalty. And they are wealthy—abundantly wealthy, just because...not because of what they do. And no matter how long they try to be a cobbler or a seamstress, or whatever, in the village at the base of the mountain where the castle is on the top, no matter how much they insist upon this identity that isn't their own, they have never stopped being who they are. Their identity and their nature and their character, and so on, haven't changed.

 

"But, the struggle is so satisfying!"

 

I encourage all of you to engage in the scary occupation of risking the chance that God is all, and giving yourself permission to experience unjustifiable good that you cannot take credit for. And then the bliss of the royalty of your Being will flow uninterruptibly and confirm to you Who you Are, and thus support you in your willingness to make a commitment to a "drug-free life"—an ego-free life.

 

Paul has been out of control for ten years, and at times every fiber of his being said, "This is so outrageous that I am insane to continue to make any commitment to it. Everything has to collapse." And nothing has collapsed. Yet, he cannot take credit for anything that is happening at this moment—or has been happening—and yet he, as well as you, know(s) that he has also been inseparable from it. So, identity hasn't been lost, although fear has been for the most part.

 

I have talked at some length about this on purpose. And the subject is likely to come up again before the end of our time together. I want you to contemplate what I have said.

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All the Pieces of the Puzzle

 

QUESTION: I didn't have a question yesterday. I saw so much miracles work. Today I do have a question. "If you do not ask, you cannot receive." My question is: Raj, I love you. You have healed so many people. Would you please heal my ambulatory problem?

 

I know, "physician, heal thyself." You have to heal yourself. It's been working. It's been happening. But, I'd like the gracious, easy, strong ability to walk.

 

That's my question.

 

RAJ: That is your desire.

 

QUESTION: That is my desire.

 

RAJ: We will experience the healing.

 

"Physician, heal thyself."

 

We must be careful. The word "physician" implies someone educated. The statement suggests that the healing is to be accomplished without outside help, doesn't it? Well, I will tell you something: Anything that any of you need to be healed of is a result of having claimed a separate self-sufficient standpoint from which to operate. And the solution to it comes through joining.

 

I used the phrase, yesterday, "desire is prayer." It's very important for you to understand that it's not enough just to sit there and feel a "want." When you express or feel a desire, do not let it be a private expression of "want." Desire it of something! That is why I have said, desire it of the Holy Spirit, or desire it of the Father, or desire it of me. Why? Because that is the way you break your isolation. That is the way you break the very thing that creates your sense of limited presence, of finiteness, tininess, et cetera.

 

Then, as I said—as with any desire—feel the desire, abide with it, give it permission to fulfill itself, and understand that you do not need to bring any intensity into the process in order to energize the desire. Every desire includes within itself everything necessary—not coming from you, not coming from the intensity that you bring to your desire—every desire includes within itself everything necessary to its fulfillment.

 

Now I'm going to touch on something else that we did not go into yesterday about desire, and that is that it is very important for you to dare to become still, to go within into the quietness of your being in order to find out what you desire, because when you feel the movement of your Being, it becomes easy to flow with. It becomes easy to flow with the movement of fulfillment that is already the movement of your Being. And when you feel that movement, and you feel the fact that it is yours, you naturally have the experience that you would call "desire for it."

 

You desire healing. This is excellent! It is your birthright not to be experiencing any limitation, whether it is mental or physical. So, feel the desire that you have expressed. Desire it, as you have in this case, of me, or of the Holy Spirit, so that you invite someone else into the healing process. That's the way you break the shell of your isolation. Then let the Holy Spirit; let the movement of your essential Being, uncover the perfection of you to you in form.

 

I'm going to tell you something: Healing is never a matter of coming to a point of peace with your problem, where it no longer distresses you but it's still there. That is not healing! Healing is the manifestation of obvious perfection...plain, pure, and simple! And that is your birthright.

 

So, what does the educated one—the physician—do to heal himself? He asks for help! He is educated enough to know that the problem is a self-imposed illegitimate sense of isolation, no matter what the specific form seems to be, and he breaks that false impositional sense of isolation by joining, by desiring of something flawless to have help.

 

The Course says that when you do this, the Holy Spirit turns to your advantage whatever your circumstance is that has been distressing. Now, why? Well, it's not a special favor to you. It's because in the act of joining, in that act of breaking this artificial imaginary sense of isolation, the Wholeness that has been the thing going on really all the time, can become obvious to you because you are no longer engaging in the act of insistence upon being alone, which causes you to become oblivious to the Wholeness and perfection of you. That's why.

 

Healing is inevitable, just as waking up is inevitable. The conscious experience of the allness of God is your inevitable "destination," if I may put it that way, because you cannot successfully imagine otherwise forever. So, we will experience the healing.

 

The questions come, "Just how much of a part do you play in this? What should you do every day? Should you think about this all the time? What do you have to do?"

 

Well, I'm going to make it very simple. Feel the desire, and turn the manifestation of it over to the Holy Spirit. Don't take on any aspect of the healing yourself, except in properly placing your attention in the act of joining, in the act of consciously "being with" the Father, the Holy Spirit, me—being aware that at all times during every day it's always us and never just you-battling-the-odds.

 

Hate is the defensive wall one builds in the act of isolating oneself. The act of joining is the act of Love. It has been said that "love is the royal way," and we talked about royalty the other day. Don't think of royalty in terms of queens and kings of countries. Think of royalty in the way that you do about "royal blue," or the deep purple velvet of royal robes, regardless of who those robes hang on. It's the feel of the richness of the texture of Being—your Being, the Being of God.

 

Love heals because in its presence the sense of separateness and isolation cannot stand. You cannot love nothing! If you are loving, you are loving something, which means you are not alone.

 

I have said before that love is "letting in." Many of you are familiar with the saying, "Love is letting go of fear." Another way of putting that is: "Love is letting in!" In the absence of fear there is no defense, nothing blocking your receipt of all of Yourself.

 

I encourage all of you to start paying attention to simple words like friendship, warmth, innocence, purity. None of you can even spontaneously think of a way to describe "complicated innocence." These things which you call values—simple human values—are really things that describe the fundamental nature of being.

 

Everyone tries to learn psychological processes, which they can use in order to relate successfully with each other. You go and take courses on learning how to fight in a partnership where both of you come out in a "win/win" situation. But, if you would instead explore the meaning, the feeling, the texture of friendship, and forget about these skills that you can get, you would cut through your problems faster.

 

You make the essence of living so complicated that it becomes almost impossible to easily do this truly unavoidable thing called living. You make it difficult to do something which, if you weren't doing anything at all, would be happening anyway.

 

Do you know what? It is a point of wisdom to realize that any problem you are experiencing, you have created. But remember that yesterday I said, "the only thing you can truly create is misunderstanding!" This means that every single problem you have is nothing more than a misunderstanding. My point is that every single problem, whether it is diagnosed as cancer, or a mobility problem, or a relationship problem, or an injury—it doesn't matter how it appears—is always the manifestation, or the visibility and tangibility, of a misunderstanding.

 

Misunderstandings aren't hard to deal with because they are not objects. They are not fixed. They are not like concrete. Every one of you changes your mind many times a day. You start out to go to the bathroom and on the way you see something that needs to be done, and you do it! You can change your mind.

 

One of the lessons in the Course—and I bring these up not to promote the Course, but to express the truth of the idea—one of the lessons says, "There is another way to look at this." You can change your mind. The way you see it, the way you are convinced it is, is never the only way to look at it. And so, if there is a misunderstanding, there is a way to change your mind, and the first step is to say or acknowledge, in whatever words come to you, "There is another way to look at this."

 

In fact, there was a wonderful word used in the sixties: Serendipity. It means "the discovery of that for which you were not looking." Not only can there be another way to look at it, you can have that other way of looking at it dawn on you even when you aren't looking for it if you are not absolutely intent upon seeing something in an absolutely fixed way.

 

You do not have to look at your body in the absolutely fixed way that you have for some time, with some degree of doubt as to whether you could actually experience a healing, even though intellectually and with some feeling you believe that you can. How about a serendipitous healing? One that happens when you aren't expecting it?

 

There is another way to look at this. There is another way to experience your body. And, do you know what? It's not dependent upon tissues and cells acting according to some physical process, because what you see as the physical manifestation of a limitation is not what it is. It is a misunderstanding that has been accepted as "understanding"—something illusory that has been accepted as "real." It's a misunderstanding, and you can change your mind...or your mind can be changed.

 

"Physician, heal thyself"—change your mind!

 

What's the best way to change your mind? Well, if you start out with what you think your mind is, which is all memory, all you will be able to change to is another memory, and it will have to be another form of the same old thing.

 

So, how do you change your mind? You refuse to continue to believe that what you believe is the truth, and you desire to know the truth. You desire to know the truth of something other than your present sense of who and what you are by virtue of your particularly unique arrangement of ignorances, beliefs. You say, "Help. Help me know the truth. I join with my higher Self, or I join with the Holy Spirit"—and they're the same thing—“I join with the Father. I let you in, and I listen for You to illuminate to me What I Am…my perfection."

 

Yesterday someone said, "God will get me for that." And you hear other people say, "God will get you for that." What an empty concept of God! What a meaningless concept of God. It's a concept. It's not the truth. God has withheld nothing of what He-She is from His-Her Self-expression. And what is God's Self-expression? It's not you. The Self-expression of God is God expressed.

 

I'm making a fine point here. God does not express Himself and end up with a vase that isn't God—something "different from the potter," if you will. God expresses Himself—and, for the sake of brevity, I am not going to keep saying "He-She," but know that I mean He-She, Father-Mother. God expresses Himself, and the expression is the extension of God. You could imagine that God, in His Self-expression, became bigger. That Self-expression did not leave God there with something else separate from God, which was God's Self-expression.

 

God expresses Himself infinitely by means of extension, not separation. That is why it is said that you are created in the image and likeness of God…because you must be the very presence of God and nothing else.

 

But, you all believe your eyes. Your five physical senses do not give you an uninterrupted, unbroken experience of the full spectrum of Being. And you take these little partial perceptions of infinity and they suggest to you that you are very small, in the middle of a very big infinity, and you are vulnerable, and YOU are separate, and you are different from everything else you are experiencing. But, you are the actual presence of Mind. You are the Awareness—what has been called "the observing Self"—in which all experience of conscious awareness is going on.

 

All of this is going on within you at this very moment. You are that conscious awareness in which all of this is being experienced. So, at this very moment, you have the capacity to grasp that you are Mind and not matter, that you are Mind and not body—and yet body is embraced within you as a conscious experience. "I am not a body. I am free to be as God created me." 1

 

God, Self-expressed, must be experienceable, or there would be no such thing as conscious awareness. In order to be conscious, you must be conscious of something, and that's what is meant when it says, "And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good." "And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was, verily, God."

 

God recognized Himself. But not only that, the recognition feels good because it is the experience of the indivisible integrity of Being.

 

Now, [sarcastically] isn't that wonderful? What does that have to do with you? It has everything to do with you. The more you realize that the definition of God is the true definition of you, the more you will be able to dare to let go of your limited sense of yourself. And the easier it will be for you to begin to disengage with identifying with the body as the body only. The more you realize that the definition of God is the true definition of you, the easier it will begin to be for you to recognize that you have been biasing your experience of life by identifying with the forms rather than identifying with the conscious awareness that you are, in which the conscious experience of forms is occurring.

 

You must understand that all the pieces of the puzzle are already on the table—all the pieces of the puzzle that bring Reality into bold relief and clarity. All the pieces of the puzzle are present in your experience at this very moment. And they will come into their truer perspective as you make a shift from identification with the body to identification with and as the conscious awareness—which you have been experiencing all along—in which all experiences of form are occurring.

 

The more you identify with form—in other words, the more you identify with and as the visibility and tangibility of the movement of the Mind of God—and the less you pay attention to yourself as the conscious awareness in which all of this is going on, the more you lose the experience of Who you Are. Then the forms that you have begun to identify with begin to become more dense—because you are losing your divine perspective. The more dense they become—because you have sacrificed the infinite view which is your Birthright—the more capable those forms seem to become of falling apart, becoming ill, not identifying your freedom. And so, sickness, sin, and death seem to come into play.

 

You could say that the Fall of Man is the shift from the infinite view—in which the visibility and the tangibility of the movement of Creation or the movement of God is going on—to identification with the visibility and tangibility of the movement of God. You could say that that is the definition of The Fall.

 

That is the shift from the Fourth-dimensional view to the third-dimensional view. It is in that movement that you begin to experience isolation and separation because you have sacrificed the experience of your unbounded infiniteness. How? By using that unbounded infiniteness to give a focus of attention which doesn't embrace the whole thing.

 

It is as though all the pieces of the puzzle are on the table and you have taken one from here, and one from here, and one from here, and you've said, "Let me see if I can put these together." And you have given your attention to just those three puzzle pieces, while all the rest of the pieces are there. But you are insistent! "There must be a way for them to fit together! They are part of the divine order of things. They are absolutely divine. Every piece must fit with every other piece. I'm going to make these fit come hell or high water." And hell comes!

 

This is very important. All of the pieces of the puzzle are always present, whether you are embracing them all or only a few. All of the elements of your divine Sanity are present with you at this very moment, but you are focusing your attention in a very narrow way. You focus it by identifying with form—whether it is your form that isn't functioning well, or whether it is the form of your partner who isn't functioning well, or whether it is the form of your world that doesn't seem to be functioning well.

 

You are neglecting to pay attention to that aspect of your divinity which is still absolutely present, and which is the conscious awareness that you are. You are still functioning as conscious awareness because without it you would be unconscious. That divinity of you is functioning, and you are actually utilizing it! The only thing is that you've forgotten to identify with it!

 

You sit here, and you can turn around and look out the window, and you see the view, and it is beautiful. And you are totally unconscious of the fact that "eyes in your head" are looking. But they're there. You simply are not "paying attention to them," you could say. You take some clay on a potter's wheel, or you take the food from your refrigerator, and you make something with it. The attention is on the shape that is taking form on the potter's wheel or the dish that you are preparing for dinner. You're not paying any attention to your hands at all, and yet they are busy doing the preparation. Do you see what I mean? The hands are there, but you're not paying attention to them. Not paying attention to them does not get in the way of preparing the meal or throwing the pot.

 

In the same way, the divine Mind that you are, the infinite presence that you are, is operating, and you're not paying any attention to It. You are paying attention to that which is going on within It and you are saying that the thing in It is what you are. That's the insanity!

 

As paradoxical as it may seem, you are "being insane" through the use of your Sanity, because your Sanity hasn't gone anywhere—just as your divinity hasn't gone anywhere. Figuratively speaking, another way of expressing this is, as I have said before: All of you are sitting right in the middle of the Kingdom of Heaven with your eyes all squinched up, saying, "I cannot see the perfection."

 

Right now, as conscious awareness, in which the infinite movement of Creation is occurring as your real Identity, you are saying, "I am one little aspect of this infinity." But, do you know what? You have to be what you divinely Are in order to have that misunderstanding and say, "That's me." Do you see that? That's why it doesn't have to take time to wake up—because your dream isn't going on in some place other than Reality, and your dream isn't creating another place called "Unreality." It's just a bias that you have brought to your process of paying attention. You're saying, "I want to pay attention to these three pieces and make them conform to my concept that because they are divine, they must fit in the way I want them to fit."

 

Mind you, it doesn't matter that you have this intent. It doesn't matter what the psychological implications are of somebody trying to make something incongruent fit. Your mind doesn't have to be "straightened out" so that you understand what destructive thing there is in you that would make you try to make incongruent things fit together.

 

Do you know what you could simply do? You could give up, and you could stand up from the table which the puzzle is on and have the opportunity just to discover that the whole puzzle is there, and have the realization that you could just put those pieces where they go.

 

Everybody is trying to fix themselves up. They're trying to fix up this sense of self which is identifying with body so that they are a better self identifying with body. Do you see what I mean? That's what psychology is all about. That's also what illness is about. I'm still talking about the same question that was asked. It all relates.

 

Now, the means by which you can easily stand up from the table so that your view takes in more of what is really going on, is the simple act of joining, the simple act of inviting something in, the practice of love. "Love is letting in."

 

Here is another example of overlooking the obvious. Paul had been speaking with me for fully six months before he had the "revelation" that he was experiencing a demonstration of the fact that there is no death—that he was experiencing it as a fact! Everything that we had been talking about had been so wonderfully important to him that he didn't realize the obvious—that life is eternal.

 

Again—and I'm saying it over and over, because even Madison Avenue knows that you must see a commercial six times before you remember it, and that's why you get a blitz when some new product comes out—the important point is this: All of the pieces of the puzzle are on the table. All of what you divinely are is present and functioning right where you are at this very instant. It's not off in the future to be attained as a result of spiritual growth. All of the elements, all four dimensions, are functioning at this moment, and you are those four dimensions. You are that conscious awareness of Being—not of being something, but of the verb "be-ing"—you are the conscious experience of BE-ING in which the conscious experience of body and sunset and trees and chairs is occurring. All that needs to happen is a shift of emphasis of attention from body to conscious awareness or Mind—not as a thing, not as an object, but as that unavoidable presence of Mind that has been going on all along.

 

Many of you, I'm sure, have heard the very short story about the little fish that comes up to his mommy and says, "Mommy, mommy, I've heard that there's water! Where is it?"

 

"Mommy, mommy, Jesus told me that I am something called Awareness. Where can I go to experience it?" It has to be the fact in order for the question to be asked. But, if you get caught up in the question and try to solve the problem, you are distracted from the opportunity to step back from the question and be still, and in the silence have the experience. What happens in that experience is a shift from identification with body to identification as Awareness—boundariless conscious awareness. That is called stepping into the Void. It's called "stepping into the Void" because your prior identification with body, and the insistence that it is you, has caused, as with the little fish, the awareness of this universal presence of water to seem not to be a presence of anything, because there's no differentiation to it. It's like the air. You don't think about it. Unless there's a wind, you do not have an ongoing alive conscious awareness of air.

 

As the shift to the conscious awareness of being consciousness occurs, the density of form lessens. The visibility and tangibility of the movement of Creation, of the movement of God, de-densifies, because your perspective becomes unbiased and the distorted experience of Reality becomes less distorted. You call that healing.

 

Now, let's be very clear on something. Is it going to be necessary for you to totally wake up and ascend in order to experience the healing of this disability that you asked for? No. So, don't complicate it and provide a resistance to your healing by saying, "Boy, I just don't think I can do all that he said." I'm not saying all of this as "things for you to do" in order to have your healing. I am speaking generally here, so as to help clear up everyone's misunderstanding. And literally so that you may know that it is not as hard as you thought it was going to be.

 

None of the puzzle pieces are missing! There are not puzzle pieces, which have been set aside until you have deserved them. There are not some of the puzzle pieces which will be handed to you at the Pearly Gates so that you may say, "A-ha, I got it! I see it!" All of the puzzle pieces are present on the table, in you, right now, and they constitute the real You!

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1 A Course in Miracles: W386 (paraphrased). "I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me."

 

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Conversations with Raj is made up of actual questions and answers drawn, with permission, from private conversations with Raj and public Workshops. Rajpur, an Ascended Master, is an Individuality making himself known by means of conscious channeling through Paul Norman Tuttle for the purpose of facilitating the major shift of consciousness which mankind is entering into.

 

Conversations with Raj is published monthly, by the Northwest Foundation for A Course in Miracles, a non-profit tax-exempt corporation, P.O. Box 870, Hanalei, HI 96714. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $20.00; single issue $2.00. Copyright Ó 1992 by Paul Norman Tuttle. All rights reserved.

 

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