CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
VOL. 7, NO. 5
The Impersonalizing of Illusion
QUESTION: When I try to get up to do something, I feel this wall of tension, and I have to lie down again. Can you say anything about this? Why am I confronted with it? Is this mine, or am I picking up on someone else? Where is it coming from?
RAJ: It comes to you for validation. If you do not validate it, it will pass you by. It is not something you need to tolerate, and if someone else is experiencing it, it need not be your experience. Again, always, it comes to you for validation. If you do not validate it, it will pass you by.
The surface, reactive ego level of awareness is always choppy, but down beneath the surface, it is, I will say, uneventful. Choose for your centered Peace as your vantage point. It is your natural habitat. Do not find any justification or validation for stress or strain.
QUESTION: What it seems like, though, is that I just want to get up and get breakfast and do very simple things today. And it's like a wall of stress all around me, and I don't understand.
RAJ: This is the suggestion -- the invitation to join in the ego's perspective. However, it presents its perspective as a fact, not as an option. And I want you to remember that it can only ever be presented as an apparent option -- not even a real one. So, if it feels like a wall of stress, know that that is a suggestion, not a statement of fact, and refrain from validating it. Refrain from joining in a special relationship with the ego's perspective.
QUESTION: I just don't understand any other way than not to join with another, who is attempting to be something of himself.
RAJ: But, you see, don't personalize it. Don't "bodyize" it! It presents itself to you as a thought! And you then join with the thought by validating it. You can have a special relationship with a person, a thought, anything! The real crux of the issue is the joining, not the apparent "thing" being joined with. And you join by validating the thought, by believing it! The sooner you impersonalize the suggestion, the sooner you will experience its craziness, its invalidity. Personalizing it, associating it with an object -- whether person, place, or thing -- distracts you from the real crux, and delays your freeing yourself from it by invalidating it.
QUESTION: Now, I'm not clear. What is the thought that is dangling?
RAJ: Literally, that there is a wall of tension around you. The suggestion comes with sensation because the ego uses the body to substantiate its assumption to presence. That is the way in which it seems to be able to present itself as "presence." And so, the suggestion comes with sensation.
Again, you must understand that the sensory presentation feels as though it is already a fact, when it is just a suggestion that has no existence until you validate it by embracing it and acting on the basis of its "truth." Because it presents itself as a fact already, it distracts you and everyone else from exercising choice. It presents itself as though there is no choice to be made. It seems already to be valid, so one says, "It is valid. What do I do about it? How do I get out from under it?" The choice is made without any conscious awareness of choice having been engaged in.
I am saying that what seems to be felt by you as an already existing presence of tension is nothing more than the suggestion of the presence of tension that you have the option to not validate or join with. Mind you, I am not saying that at a personal or body-oriented level. This has nothing to do with joining with a person. It has to do with joining with the suggestion that is registering itself with you sensorily, and therefore as though it is already a fact.
So, what you join with is the belief that it is already a fact. And what you will ultimately disengage from is the belief, because it forever remains only a belief presented as a suggestion -- a sourceless suggestion! Ultimately, you will say, "I disengage from this. I do not validate this. I was fooled. It was never even real in the beginning."
I will tell you something: There has been a belief that when one passes on, one becomes a disembodied spirit, which I have made clear is untrue. Indeed, ego suggestions are always "disembodied spirits." They never have a body to substantiate them. They do float like a miasma, you might say, in the mental atmosphere. And the only way in which they seem to justify validation is by suggesting a connection with a body, so that they may "become" embodied.
To recognize that the suggestions of the ego are never personal, are never personalized, is to recognize that they are never embodied, and therefore never have their source in a person. But, in order to be perceived -- and I mean by that misperceived -- as "real," they must suggest a connection with a personality/body. And so that is part of the suggestion, whether it is your body, or whether it seems to be another body -- some body other than your body.
So, when the suggestion presents itself that these things can't just be floating around, the fact is that that is all they can be. And what it is that is floating around is something that has not enough reality to it to be embodied, else it would already have a body, as that which is Real does. Ego structures are always bodiless, lacking visibility and tangibility because they have no source.
QUESTION: I know it's the truth, but I'm not comprehending it.
RAJ: You are looking too far away. The sleight of hand, the misdirection, is not occurring "out-there," but in your mind. You start to get up and you "feel a wall of tension." That causes you to look for its source, to find the "embodiment" which is its starting point. You are already suffering from the sleight-of-hand, the misdirection, because the feeling of the wall of tension when you start to get up is, as I said, a suggestion -- not an experience of fact. It is a suggestion awaiting your validation. But, to you it already feels valid. On that basis you accept it, and then attempt to find its source so that correction can be effected.
Literally, the solution lies in a shift of attention within you upon your first sensing of this "experience" of a wall of tension, because this so-called experience is just a suggestion, an assumption to presence -- but not a valid presence.
QUESTION: But, you see, no belief can take place without someone thinking! Thinking is where all the concepts, all of the illusions, take place, correct?
RAJ: Indeed. But, remember, you can think faster than a speeding bullet! Thoughts are already stored in your "memory banks," and they work faster than any computer that exists. The suggestion presents itself to you ... an inner memory search occurs faster than the blink of an eye and finds any places of congruence in your "memory banks" ... and acceptance can occur simply on the basis of congruent memory! Validation occurs and you are stuck, unless you recognize that you have an option to choose again, or choose otherwise.
Fundamental to the truth expressed in the system called Christian Science is the precept of "impersonalizing error" -- impersonalizing that which does not have its source in God. And, in effect, the impersonalizing of illusion is the means by which the special relationship is eradicated from conscious experience. To separate the belief from a so-called "believer," is to cause the belief to be seen for what it is -- an unjustifiable suggestion of insanity which, without its embodiment, has not a leg to stand upon, and collapses into the nothingness that it is. Thus, even if the belief structure has been associated with a person -- an embodiment -- thus giving the belief a cloak of respectability, the conscious act of disembodying it by retracting the investment of honor in it which was accomplished by identifying it with or as a person, deprives it of its supposed legitimacy, and it collapses.
Therefore, it doesn't matter whether you impersonalize it at the moment the suggestion presents itself to you, or after it has been accepted. The result is the same -- the instantaneous experience of your Sanity, your clarity, your freedom from the effects of the belief.
This is also called forgiveness.
The Gift of "Us"
QUESTION: I think my question concerns this whole issue of "gift." And I've gotten much clearer lately that I don't know how to experience the joy of who I am whenever it appears I'm having impact or doing something that others find a gift. My ego really slams me down and says, "Watch out, you're going to be egotistical." And I feel I need some ongoing coaching or clarity about how to be more comfortable with those Self-expressions as they come forth.
RAJ: You see, the problem stems from not staying with the Self that is making the gift, but stepping aside as though there were some objective separate vantage point from which you can observe the making of the gift and the receipt of the gift and then experience, imaginatively, how it has been received, or what could happen, etc., etc. But if you stay at the point of the giving of the gift -- in other words, if you do not give the gift and then step out of that place where it is made from -- you will then continue to be the place where the continuing gift is given, and you will not find yourself in a position of being able to judge the effect of the gift.
Not being in that place where you can judge it, you will not experience any judgment directed toward you. The unity of the nature of the gift will be the only thing reflected back to you, and yet you will not be curious about what is reflected back.
PAUL: Raj wants me to share an experience that I had in the Princeville Workshop (August 1991). In the workshop, there were a couple of times when he had me open my eyes. The second time it happened was right at the end, where he said he had enjoyed the weekend. Then, it was like he opened "his" eyes and just scanned the group, making eye contact, connecting with everyone. The interesting thing was that I was struck with the fact that the reason for looking at them was to give acknowledgment.
This was a very different experience of "seeing" for me. The contrast was so clear that I was able to discern the fact that usually when my eyes are open, I'm looking to get something from what I'm seeing. I'm looking for feedback, I'm looking to see what the response is, or whether it's safe to move in this or that direction.
Evidently from an ego standpoint, we are always looking to "gather data." But, in this case, the reason for looking at everyone was to give something by virtue of seeing. It was like that was the only thing that seeing was for, truly, and the ego turns it around 180 degrees and uses it to get, in order to know if it's safe, or to calculate what to do next.
QUESTION: Raj, at one level I understand this -- partly because I've been coached a lot by my own Guide that when I stand as the Door, I shouldn't look for any results. I should just acknowledge that I stood there, I was the transparency, and whatever happened, happened. But I don't need to know what happened.
RAJ: But you do know what happened. What happened was the giving of the gift. And you felt that. You feel that. The gift stops being given when you stand back or aside to observe the result as though there were a result to be had. That is not the reason for the giving of the gift. That is irrelevant. And if you continue to stay at the point of the giving of the gift, you will soon find that looking for a result was not only a complete distraction from what was essential, but also a complete and useless waste of time.
So, what you are involved in here is learning a new habit, which is congruent with Reality, or the Truth. You are in a process of learning to let go of the concept of "results." God does not move and be the Movement of Creation for a result! His Creation is not going to be entered in an art show to be judged.
And so, you learn to be single of purpose and stay at the point of giving the gift. Then you will begin to realize that there is no way to separate this part of the eternal Gift from the part "before," as though it could be judged in its own right, because the judgment is not part of the process at all.
You will begin to be too busy being "the making of the gift" to step aside from it to wonder how it went, or to look to others for confirmation. You need to become like the artist who has not the time to go to the art gallery or the showing because she is too busy with the next picture, and too absorbed in the being of the Movement of Creation to wonder at all about what it is doing for someone else when they see it in the gallery.
You can see, hereby, that in this is your freedom from care/concern, and your ability to stay in your joy constantly. And what you have yet to experience as a fact is that when you remain congruent, single of purpose, then singleness, integrity, harmony is what is inevitably reflected back to you, even though you are not concerned about what is reflected back to you. And, as Paul found, he saw everyone, but what they were experiencing was of no interest, because he was just being the gift of acknowledgment. And I will tell you, everyone felt loved, and no one objected.
QUESTION: At one level, I think I hear this totally. At another level, it feels like you're describing life on another planet. It feels so unimaginable.
RAJ: But the fact is that you have had experiences here and there which demonstrate the utter truth of what I have said. And to that degree you are aware that what I am saying can be "of this planet." So, the call is for daring to explore this as far as you can -- hopefully to its ultimate! You might say, "put it to the test." It is just the limits of your current conditioning which make this seem irrelevant to the here and now that you are living in.
At the bottom line, all we are doing at this moment -- you and Paul and I -- is breaking down that concept so that you will give yourself permission to see something new here. This is the way radical idealism becomes practical realism, and you experience a transformed world -- or a transformed experience of the world that you can clearly and reasonably identify as the Kingdom of Heaven.
I will tell you: The only thing that makes this difficult is your solid conviction in your conditioning. It is not that there really is an uncooperative world, which needs to be transformed into something that it was not before.
QUESTION: I think there are two things in my life right now that have prompted my even talking with you about gifts and gift-giving, and let me run them by you to see if there's anything else you want to say about them in this fashion.
The first is a sort of ongoing fear I've had of stepping into the "leadership roles" that other people sort of want from me. And I've noticed that I…
RAJ: You will only feel that if you are trying to do it by yourself, as the "sidekick," as the ego. The key word is Us*, not "I." You are always making the gift of Us -- you and the Holy Spirit, or you and your Guide, or you and your Self, or you and the Father. If it is a gift of Us, you will not be afraid, because you will not be taking responsibility for your "doing," or your actions, other than taking responsibility to be sure to see that it is Us doing it, and you are listening to hear what We are going to appropriately be at that moment.
This is not a cop-out. It is not a means of escaping what is truly your responsibility. It is not a matter of an ostrich sticking its head in the sand and saying, "Everything is okay," when it is not. It is a matter of your choosing to be where true perspective is available to you so that your actions can be utterly and absolutely appropriate.
It is a scary thing to be in a place where you conceive yourself to be a leader, where "the buck stops here" and you will take the brunt of whatever comes forth as a result of your actions. The reason it is scary is because you are ungrounded when you do that. You are not grounded in your Being. When you are ungrounded, you can only be "in the world" reactively, and you will make stupid mistakes.
The second part of this is that you experience fear. First, because you are being a leader from an ungrounded, unconnected place. And secondly, you see the being of the "leader" as a gift, which will be judged as either good or bad.
QUESTION: You got that one right.
RAJ: And so, what is the gift that you are giving? It has to be a gift with a small "g," because it isn't the Gift of your Being. And that brings you back to the answer to your first question.
There is a point you must arrive at where it begins to feel dangerous to you to act on your own, even though that is what used to give you a feeling of security. When you begin to realize the fragility of your "security" when you are coming from the standpoint of the "sidekick," it will begin to be completely reasonable to you not to do that any more. You will begin to experience your sense of security from your grounded connectedness with your Being, which is always an experience of Us, never an experience of "I" -- as you have known that word to be. I will become Us. Even if you say "I," you will know it is Us -- it is a Wholeness, rather than a separatedness.
QUESTION: The second area where I'm feeling this issue acutely is with my book ...
RAJ: Our book!
QUESTION: Yes, Our book. I have described the book as a gift that came through me. Other people have read it and received it or acknowledged it as a gift. And as I get more favorable responses in that way, I've noticed myself sort of being terrified that it will lead me into an ego-based self destruction, I guess. And I feel that that's going to be the challenge for the next year as this book goes out…
RAJ: So, you are making the gift with strings attached.
QUESTION: I'm sure I've put a lot [of strings] on it.
RAJ: I am not putting you down for this, but just making sure that you understand the nature of the gift, and that to the degree that you have strings attached, it is not fully a gift. It is leveraging. It is being used as a tool to "get" something. And to that degree, the gift is not full, or Whole. I am telling you that you do not need to waste your energy or time using it as a tool. The fact is that you will, to one degree or another, and it won't ruin things, but it will diminish the degree of your Peace that you will let yourself feel.
Your Peace is always total, and always with you, but you can distract yourself from It, and there is no need. Loose that book and let it go. Loose that Gift and let It go. And let It do Its work, whatever it might be, and you get on with the "next gift," if I may put it that way.
Now, it is true that when you get feedback indicating that it is received as a gift, it gives you courage to stand at the point of being the Gift more consistently. And that is good. I encourage you not to use the fact that you are doing that as a means of judging yourself -- as not doing as well as you could if, indeed, you were able to make the Gift without strings. Use whatever means you have available to you to give yourself courage to give yourself permission to feel good because the Gift was made, whether it was received at the moment or not.
I will tell you something: A Gift that is a gift, whether it is received or not, sits there in its fullness for receipt at a later time -- like the wisdom which you impart to your children that they ignore. It is nevertheless there, present in them to take hold of when they arrive at a point of valuing it. And heaven help them if you had withheld the giving of the Gift just because in their arrogance and enthusiasm, they did not receive it when it was given.
So, from that standpoint you could say that you have a responsibility to take a larger view and understand that the Gift must have been given, and that Its meaning must have been registered in the "human experience," and that having made It is what it was about, not whether it was received yet!
QUESTION: Thank you for all of that.
*All references to "Us," "We," and "Our" reflect the state of being joined, of union, and do not reflect a specific union between Raj and the one he is speaking with.
QUESTION: I have read the new book [Graduation: The End of Illusions], and it affected me deeply. How does focusing on the "homing beacon" relate to me now, and where I am in this transition? I do talk with my Guide, but not regularly.
RAJ: I am going to put it this way: Although you are not feeling the homing beacon consistently as a conscious experience, nevertheless there is an ongoing intent or desire to be headed in that direction. This, in itself, tends to keep you fairly close to the homing beacon -- I will say generally paralleling it. The feel, the conscious experience of the homing beacon, is something that will come into stronger play the more frequently you avail yourself of the communion with your Guide, because when you are in communion with your Guide, you are on the homing beacon, and the feel of it is present.
The more you avail yourself of this communion, the more easily you will find yourself able to stay in conscious touch with the homing beacon.
You see, the fundamental point is your vacating the prized seat of independence, and, if I may put it this way, sharing your seat, being, in relationship, sharing the decision-making, so that you are not being "the decider" who can then give himself credit for his good decisions.
Self-sufficiency and independence are the means by which one keeps himself separated, unable to feel his unity with the Brotherhood, unable to feel and experience his oneness with the Life-Principle, the Father, God. And so the reason for engaging in communion is to provide yourself with the arena, the context, in which you can find union, togetherness -- what I will call Usness -- to be the natural state of being, in which your fulfillment and Wholeness can be recognized, wherein your Individuality may be experienced in Its Wholeness, rather than being experienced only in part.
Deciding to Practice Gratitude
QUESTION: Why do I still need to call you? There's a part of me that would love to just sit and have you talk to me. I just love listening. I just feel so much more reassured and calm after hearing things that sound like the Truth. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to think of questions, just so I could sit and listen.
RAJ: You call because our relationship is meaningful. You do not do what is not meaningful, and you do not need to ask yourself why you call. You do not ask yourself why you do other meaningful things. It is perfectly natural. Friends communicate.
QUESTION: Friends also give back. There's a transfer there. And I don't feel like I'm giving anything back. What am I giving back by calling and needing to talk? Or how can I be a friend on my end?
RAJ: To put it very simply, the exchange occurs in your valuing what I have to say to you. It is that simple. The exchange occurs on the spot. And that is an important point for you to contemplate relative to other friends. If a gift is given and received, equilibrium has been arrived at and does not leave the other indebted.
QUESTION: My husband and I grew up basically poor, and we're living in this beautiful home on Bainbridge Island. It just got appraised for $440,000 -- which blows us away. We couldn't afford to buy it today. It's a problem I've asked you about before. I feel so guilty when I read about people who have so little, and walk past homeless people downtown. And I keep telling myself that you said each of us have a chance to live a full life.
I know there's no value in guilt, but I just feel a real conflict. I don't know how to resolve the fact that it seems like we have a lot of nice things and other people don't. How can I stop feeling guilty about that?
RAJ: By deciding to practice gratitude, instead.
RAJ: I cannot put it more simply than that. Your distress is truly an irrelevant and nonsensical waste of time and energy, when gratitude is what is called for. It puts things in perspective. And I will tell you something: Those who seem to be deprived of abundance will always prove to be people who do not express gratitude. They say, "I have nothing to be grateful for," but gratitude is the means by which one opens the door and gives permission for his Good.
PAUL: Raj is reminding me of the place in the Bible where Jesus raised Lazarus, and before he called Lazarus forth, he said, "I thank you, Father, for I know that thou hearest me always. "He expressed gratitude before he had any reason for gratitude, because at that point Lazarus was still apparently dead. He expressed gratitude first, and then had the evidence of Lazarus coming forth.
QUESTION: One of my problems is -- and I have the same problem with Graduation: The End of Illusions, which, frankly, I need to get back to. It was so overwhelming that I put it down. You're right, it's the hardest thing I've ever read in my life. It seemed so much easier (when I thought there was a Christ) to say, "Thank you, Lord." And it's so hard reading the book and trying to understand that there isn't a God with a long white beard, or this person I'm supposed to ... I'm so confused. It's not like there's this person to say thank you to. It's like it's also in each of us. I mean, I get really uncomfortable, and I don't know who to thank.
RAJ: Thank me. Thank God. That is one of the ways you join with me. You see, what everyone is trying to do is to be alone and be happy, which is impossible. And that is why it is so essential to join with me, or with the Holy Spirit, or with your Guide, or with the Father, and companion consciously with us. It is in this way that you undo the ego's intense need to be independent-and-successful, or independent-and-happy. And this is what precipitates your Awakening, your clearer, less distorted view of Reality. This is what causes you to become alive to and conscious of your divinity.
Indeed, there is a lot of gratitude that Paul shares with me, even though he has his moments of distress. So, don't refrain from expressing your joy or your gratitude for the help, because indeed as long as you seem not to experience Who You Are fully, you will seem to be in a lesser position, receiving from something greater than you. But, if you don't companion with me, if you do not companion with your Guide, you don't have the opportunity to experience the fact that you are equal -- which is the way you wake up -- by finding that the unequalness was a misperception allowed for because of the intent to be isolated, independent, and successful in that isolated state.
QUESTION: Well, I'm very grateful to Raj and to you [Paul] that you're in my life. I guess what I also decided is that it's okay to be like a child, and really happy. Like when something good happens, sometimes I just raise my eyes to the heaven and say, "Thank you, Lord." And I mean it. It feels good to say it. And I get the feeling that you would say that's okay to do.
RAJ: Absolutely. It is important, because it is an expression or conscious acknowledgment that you are not alone, and you are not presuming to be responsible for what has happened. When I say "presuming to be responsible," I mean in an arrogant and egotistical sense of "look how important you are all by your puny little self."
Your greatness lies in the fact that you are not different from me, and you are not different from the Father/Mother. And so, when you say, "thank you," you are being consciously joined with That which you are equal to.
QUESTION: We have all listened to many of the Raj tapes and read some of the Raj Newsletters, and we would like to know how we could support the work and things we could do to support Paul in fulfilling that work.
RAJ: Oh, I will tell you that the best way you can support it is to live it, live it, live it!
It needs to be extended. I do not mean by this, that just the words need to be shared, or that the material needs to be spread, available to those who would find it valuable for them. I mean that at the bottom line, it is the clearer and clearer expression of the Light as your very own individual "beings," if I may put it that way, which constitutes the leaven that leavens the whole lump.
You must understand that although the work is focalized in this specific manner [my working with Paul], it is still, nevertheless, a universal movement of Awakening, which is not confined to just your planet. It is a time in which all of those -- incarnated or not incarnated -- who are still sleeping, who are still dreaming dreams or illusions, are in the process of Awakening.
Each one of you who participates by actively desiring to know the Truth and listening for It, and uniting with your guidance, or the Holy Spirit, or the Father, or me, lessens the density of the dreaming, that is going on. It is not just those on the face of your planet who are still in a process of Awakening, and I want you to understand the scope of this movement, so that you will not become too focused on your immediate experience.
If your embracing of unconditional love, if your embracing of your willingness to recognize that which is Real in each and every thing, is growing, and you are actually managing to be less reactive and more able to recognize that which is valid in each and every thing, you are contributing to everyone's Awakening -- and that is what this work is.
I know you are asking specifically how you might help Paul, and how you might help the specific work I am doing with him, but this is not the focal point.
It is important for your viewpoint not to become narrowed down so that you forget that this is a divine movement that is universal which each of you are participating in by virtue of your no longer insisting upon validating your limited perception.
Now, you may say I am not giving you practical help here relevant to your very specific question. But I am giving you help by not joining you and confirming for you an approach, which would get you into trouble by virtue of limiting your scope of vision.
Indeed, in practical terms, I would encourage all of you, if you find valuable this particular aspect of the work, to simply pay attention within yourselves, to feel for what is appropriate. On occasions, you may feel as though a contribution, in terms of financial support, is appropriate. And at other times you may find it is appropriate to share the materials with others whom you sense are ready for them, who would find it supportive of their own further enlightenment. It can appear in any number of ways. And I do, indeed, encourage all of you to be fully open to all opportunities.
I do not want any of you to become devoted to supporting the work, except, as I have said, in terms of living it more and more fully, because the work is not the promotion of my words. It is the uncovering of your divinity. It is the willingness in each of you to allow yourselves to experience yourselves anew, to actually allow transformation to occur -- which involves letting go of cherished beliefs for "God knows what." Indeed, until you open up to receive, you do not know the Good and fulfillment that awaits you.
So, it is a process much like the caterpillar becoming the butterfly, who has faith that if he lets go of his old structure, he will not cease to exist, even though he has no idea whatsoever that he will become a butterfly, no longer confined to the ground.
I want to stress the fact that much attention is being given these days to organize the Course, in the sense of creating structures, even churches. And this is not the point. There is enough structure. It is the release of structure, or definitions, which the ego has provided, which provides the means for waking up. And although none of you would say that you were really interested in becoming devoted to supporting this work, it could become that. And so, I am intent upon conveying to all of you, "Don't let this happen!"
The point is to stay on your own leading edges, your own boundary-breaking processes, so that you become transformed yourselves, and by virtue of that become the Light to the world. Become that which is inspiring to the rest to dare to do likewise, because it lessens the density of the mutual agreement to dream, which is the definition of a special relationship.
As that mutual agreement weakens, for lack of participants, it will come close to collapse, because there will not be enough joined to continue its substantiation in the face of the overwhelming presence of the Awakened Brotherhood.
Indeed, the very fact that you and so many others on the face of your globe are experiencing the desire to wake up, is because the density of those joined in illusion has already been lessened. If you will just consider the amount of spiritual growth that has occurred in the last 150 years compared to the prior 1900 years, you will see that something else is at work here besides simple evolution.
You have no idea the joy that we experience as we see you begin to rouse from your slumber. It is a source of great joy. Let's keep on the right track.
All of you already support what you value, whether it is a wife or a husband or a family or a good job. But you do not support it with elements of specialness. You support it because, in very practical terms, it simply is of value. And that is the way I would encourage you to support this work.
QUESTION: I have listened to your tapes and tried to apply the instructions you gave on how to authorize the body for healing and ask the healing team to correct physical defects, and I don't seem to be receiving the results I had expected. That is, I don't see any improvements. Maybe I'm expecting too much, or maybe I don't understand.
RAJ: I will tell you that if you are expecting anything less than the manifestation of ultimate perfection, you are not expecting enough! And I will tell you that the fact is that no one has ever expected too much. Indeed, in one way or another their egos have argued for less than the ultimate because it [the ultimate] seems unjustifiable or unreasonable.
I encourage you and everyone else to give unconditional permission for healing. With specific reference to you, I encourage you to give some contemplative thought to what the real nature of your body is, because it has a divine Intent. No matter what you have heard about it being an illusion, at its most fundamental level it is the divine Intent to identify the presence of your Individuality -- which is the expression of God -- perfectly!
There can be no such thing as unmanifest God. Therefore, what God is being is infinitely manifested -- or identified and identifiable. At the bottom line, that is what your body is -- the visibility and tangibility of that infinite Self-expression of God called You.
That does not mean you are a body. It means that the Individuality that you are, the conscious being -- and I am using the word "being" as a verb -- the conscious being that you are, is a recognizable presence. As I have said before, you are both universal and specific simultaneously, just as the Father is, because you are the Father expressed. Therefore, at the bottom line, your body is to be embraced with unconditional love. And I am speaking here not of an ill body that needs to be healed, but that active Intent that your Individuality be identified which has its source in God. That Intent has its source in the Father's Intent to express you fully.
Therefore, I encourage you to express great gratitude that you are identified and identifiable, and to begin to see your body as your ally, as that which cannot help but be on your side because its Purpose is to identify you perfectly.
There is a need for more love and less fear about and for your body. It is not just your soul and your spirit and your mind, which are divine, but also that which renders them visible and tangible -- experienceable! Its [the body's] dysfunctions are what are illusory. It is the experience of your life being dependent upon your body that is illusory and which you will grow out of, but not your body, not the identification of your presence.
I encourage you to contemplate what I have said, and then, on that basis, warmly, lovingly embrace your body because of what it divinely is. In doing that, there will be less fear, therefore less resistance, therefore less defense against your body. And the unity, the inseparability of You and that which renders you visible and tangible will come forth, and you and others will say, "There has been a healing." But it will really just be the revealing of the Self that you are and Its inseparable, identical visible and tangible identification.
Now, I am speaking somewhat firmly here, and I do not want to imply that you need to do this with a vengeance, or with great firmness. It needs to be done definitely, but with gentleness and love and appreciation and gratitude. The ego suggests that fear is called for, that anxiety is absolutely justifiable, but you must remember that the ego is a liar, and the father of "the lie."
Now, persist. And persist in the context that I have just shared with you. And dare to give permission for total healing, even if that requires what your beliefs call "impossible regeneration."
Your body cannot forget how to identify you perfectly because that is its charge, if I may put it that way. That is its "responsibility." That is its Intent. That is the Intent, which the Father set into motion for it. That is the Intent which the Father is setting into motion at this very instant, and every instant, ... which brings me up to the last point in answer to your question. That being, that the movement of Creation did not occur aeons in the past, with everything created and left to "run" on its own.
You are the current creation of a current and living God. And God has not forgotten how to be you perfectly. And therefore your body does not even depend upon memory to identify you perfectly, because its Intent to identify you perfectly was set into motion at this very moment…at this very moment…at this very moment.
Your very existence, is the current expression of a current and living God. Continue to expect healing. Continue to authorize your body to release whatever is not necessary to its perfect functioning. Continue to ask the healing team to facilitate the uncovering of your perfection. You have nothing better to do than that, because that is what it takes.
QUESTION: Thank you.
RAJ: I want to say one more thing. If you are the current expression of a current and living God, then age is a ridiculous concept, isn't it? And therefore, you are as worthy of healing, and as capable of experiencing it as a 10-year old. Just contemplate that!
QUESTION: I seem to have a problem with the question of manipulation, and what constitutes manipulation. In our three-dimensional perception, we really try to heed the advice you gave when you said those words, years ago, "When ye have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me." And, if you will, I would like clarification of that in regard to my personal life.
RAJ: That is a very tricky statement. I mean by that, the statement itself is so easily manipulated by the ego. "If ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me," was not meant to imply that you could actually accomplish "doing" good or bad to someone else, but rather, that there is no way for you to be or do anything alone!
You cannot draw a breath, or think a thought, or lift a little finger, and have it go unnoticed by the Brotherhood who are Awake, because the Brotherhood experiences the all-knowingness that God is. And so, the point was to convey that you are always present with everything that is -- always present with me, always present with the Brotherhood, always present with the Father.
It is the ego, which suggests that one thing can do something to another thing. But, I will tell you, as I have said before, if I really thought that I, a person, could have been crucified, there would have been no resurrection or ascension, and we would not be sitting here talking today. I did not participate in the belief that cause lay in the three-dimensional frame of reference, where one thing could affect another thing.
So, you must understand the statement, "If ye have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Do not construe that to mean that I believe you could actually "do" something to me. And don't labor under that idea yourself, else that statement becomes a verdict of "guilty" against you.
Now, the simple fact is that you can never do anything to someone else. You can express a behavior, which truly says something only about you, even though the behavior seems to be directed at someone else. And someone else can behave in a manner of a "victim," and appear to be saying something about you, when that one is saying only something about himself or herself.
Manipulation is a silly game in which two individuals fool themselves into a dance of indictment against each other. But it is always a game. It is never Real. It is never Actual.
So, at the bottom line, how do you avoid the game of manipulation? How do you avoid the game of Victim or Victimizer? You avoid it by never acting in a manner which is inconsistent with your Integrity. You never act in a way that overrides your Integrity. "To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou cans't not then be false to any man."
This means that you have to pay more attention to your Self than to others, so that you may, on an ongoing basis, manage to be true to your Integrity, not justify overriding It, and let the chips fall where they may.
Let's not forget the real meaning of that statement. It was one meant to inspire an awareness of the inseparable unity of the Brotherhood. It was not meant to substantiate separation, manipulation, and guilt. Go, and rejoice in the real meaning of that.
QUESTION: Thank you very much, Raj.
Overcoming the Ego
QUESTION: In the process of Awakening or growing spiritually -- apparently that's overcoming or dissolving the ego, if I understand that correctly. I'm wondering if you can give us a little more of an explanation on how we should proceed to try to overcome this ego problem.
RAJ: First of all, let us no longer use the word "overcome." Overcome automatically brings forth an image of a hurdle, of a mountain, of something that one must work to get over. As I have said before, the one thing the ego cannot defend itself against is disregard.
You will never be able to overcome the ego, because it is a defense mechanism, and it "knows" how to defend itself. So, how do you get past it? How do you become free of it? By not relying upon it for anything. That is why joining is so essential -- joining with the Holy Spirit, or the Father, or me, or your Guidance -- because that constitutes reliance upon something other than your ego. It causes you to abandon the stance of loneliness -- except the ego would call it "aloneness," and would charge that word with great hope for personal accomplishment and satisfaction and fulfillment.
Joining with the Holy Spirit or the Father, or me, et cetera, constitutes a conscious act on your part not to stand alone -- moving your attention away from reliance upon your conditioned thinking, which is another description of the ego -- and it constitutes the disregard which succeeds always in weakening the ego, because it cannot exist without your giving attention to it.
So, I encourage all of you, to the very best of your ability every day, to insist upon not making any decisions by yourself; to companion with the Holy Spirit or the Father, whether you're in the grocery store, or driving to a friend's house, or wondering if it's time to go to bed. Ask for input. Desire to know, "Does this fit in with the divine unfoldment of fulfillment of Purpose? And if not, what does?" And do not worry that you will be pestering the Holy Spirit, or God, or me, or your Guide, because we are glad to have the opportunity to join with you at your conscious level of awareness, thereby demonstrating the union of Us and the fact that you are not alone, and in this way all of us will "do the ego in."
500 Years With an Aging Body?
QUESTION: In the Princeville workshop you said, "Let us suppose that you have another 500 years of life ahead of you. It is really not so late in the game is it? In fact, it is early on."
Okay, it occurred to me, "Hey, 500 years with an aging body?" By aging body, I mean wearing out, broken veins, failing eyesight, arthritis, weakness, fatigue, and on and on. Five hundred years...!
RAJ: Indeed, that is exactly the point. Because no one would stand for that! And my bringing that out causes one to realize that there is utterly no justification for embracing, at this point or at any point, signs of aging.
Now, the point is to get you on the ball, so that you are not allowing yourself to become more sedentary and refrain from activity and exercise -- I do not mean muscle-building exercise, but I mean physical activity of the sort you engaged in when you were twenty-five.
The point is that a shift of perception must occur in which it becomes unreasonable to accept evidences of aging because it is so ridiculous.
Now, this is important: It is not that the evidences of aging should be objected to because they are malicious or destructive, as though there is a force that you must overcome. They must be objected to because they are ridiculous! Because they are so nonsensical!
You have suggested on numerous occasions that if, indeed, you were to pass on now, you would not feel that you had missed out on much; that indeed, in one way or another, you find yourself ready, if it should happen. This also is a ridiculous idea, and does represent an attitude of age. And ... let us drop the word "old." The idea of age, period, is what is false.
It is as "reasonable" for you to say this now as it would have been for you to say it at the age of twenty, having had a very full span of teenage years and a great deal of fun and fulfillment. It is as reasonable for someone to say at that point, "If I were to die tomorrow, I would feel I had lived life to the full." This is not reasonable. But, you see, there is no point at which it is justifiable for you to begin to embrace death.
Rather, it is really important for you to embrace life on an ongoing basis right where you are, because in the full embrace of it, right where you are, you will find the limits of your present frame of reference enlarging and beginning to be capable of embracing those who seem to have already passed on. The seeming benefit of passing on so that you can be with those who have already passed on will no longer be a justification for passing on.
All of these thoughts relative to age constitute withdrawal from life -- a beginning to not participate in it. And it does indeed open the door for the very evidences that you are commenting about physically. At twenty, you would have approached these evidences with great vigor in terms of not embracing them [expecting healing]. And the fact that you are not objecting to them with great vigor now is not a sign of age, not a sign of any incapacity on your part, but literally a matter of sheer laziness, because "you have had a full life," and you are ready for this ridiculous thing called "passing on."
QUESTION: I didn't know that.
RAJ: But it is the fact, and you can contemplate this now. This does not mean that you have to go out and find a new career, but it means engage in your days with full vigor, with full intent to be in the present, in the now, and not to embrace these subtle and insidious suggestions that because life has been lived to the full you can let go of "this particular aspect of it." It is not letting go that is needed. It is embracing in a larger sense. But that embracing in a larger sense will mean being vitally present and vitally open, and not yielding into inactivity and less zest for life.
I have pointed out before that passing on does not constitute a process of Awakening. It is time to stop dallying with the idea of passing on, and what it might mean for you, and to attend with greater clarity and willingness to embracing and embodying the presence of God that you are at this very instant, and to begin to embrace an expectation of healing of even that which is not defined to be illness, such as flabby arms.
Symmetry, balance, perfection, beauty, are still as vitally real now as they were when you were "younger," and need to be consciously embraced as your birthright at this moment! Not experiencing your birthright at this moment is an inappropriate illusion to be experiencing, even though it is not causing you pain, and even though it is not "killing you."
When This Point of Development Comes…
QUESTION: I'm wondering about something practical dealing with my energy. It's very frustrating not having much energy day after day, week after week, and it's been going on for quite some time. And along with that, my enthusiasm, my passion for life, has been kind of dampened. I'm just not very passionate, and I'm not very excited about starting a new job, which I'm beginning next week. It takes an effort to move the body through time and space, and it's difficult to follow my guidance. So, if you have anything to share with me, thank you for being present.
RAJ: You are being weaned from determined accomplishment. You are being brought back into equilibrium. There is not a single thing wrong with you. You would not do this voluntarily!
Do you realize that the very word "yielding" means involuntary movement? Unauthorized movement? The absence of will? The absence of control? It is not that you do not have energy. You might say that it is just that the energy of your Being is no longer continuing to allow you to subject it to inappropriate use. It is still there, but you cannot muster it up to abuse yourself with. You cannot gather enough of it together to continue to create the illusion that you are in charge.
Now, when this point of development comes, your ego goes crazy. But, at the same time there is always a clear sense of a You, separate from this ego that is going crazy, which feels wonderful. Is this not correct?
QUESTION: Well, yes.
RAJ: Yes. It is the ego that gave the little negative lilt to the delivery of that very clear answer.
RAJ: It is just that it is hard to trust this very clear feeling that doesn't make sense. At least it doesn't make sense from the standpoint of your old conditioning.
I mentioned earlier that Awakening constitutes a real shift at an experiential level in your experience of yourself, and it isn't just a rearrangement of ideas or a new package of updated ideas. And you are going through a shift of experience of yourself.
Those who have been used to being clear-cut authorizers of their experience find this point of development very unpleasant. And it is not recognized to be a point of development, but rather is defined to be "a problem." This is exactly what is meant by the phrase, "entertaining angels unawares."
When you are confronted by a point of growth which brings you into greater equilibrium with your real Self-hood, and you find yourself unable to perpetuate the illusion of your self, and that which had been false about it, it is seldom recognized as a point of development!
In the absence of being the successful authority over your experience, you will have the opportunity to come into a more permanent experience of equilibrium, a more permanent experience of your substance -- the substantiality of you -- a clearer experience of your invulnerability. And you will discover that you are no longer experiencing attachment to everything as though you needed it [everything] to give you definition.
To one who has exhibited the habit of gaining definition from the things in his experience, this feels like a loss of worth. It feels like abandoning yourself to a place where there will never be an opportunity again to experience worth the way you have always experienced it in the past. That feels like a very dire circumstance or place to be in. And every single one of you will come to this point of having to abandon -- never to recover again -- the sense of a tiny separated entity being in authority over something for the purpose of demonstrating worth.
Know that this point of development will be arrived at, and that it is your salvation rather than your crucifixion, because in the absence of being the "authorizer" of your experience -- an authorizer who gains worth by demonstrating the authority successfully -- you will experientially find your Worth with a capital "W." And as I said earlier, when that happens, it discloses to you the Worth of everyone else, because it is inescapably clear to you, for no reason, that this is absolutely true of everyone else as well.
Now, you are going to have to endure this point of development. It is not something to escape from. And I encourage you, as you endure it -- which really means, as you abide with it willingly -- to stay in touch with the part of you that has emerged, which feels the utter rightness of it, even though you cannot justify it intellectually in terms that your ego used to use to define what was reasonable and intelligent.
QUESTION: Thank you.
RAJ: You are welcome.
I do not mean to imply to everyone by what I am saying that you are all headed for difficulty. What I mean to convey to you is that there are, indeed, going to be real intrinsic intimate shifts, which will constitute a changing of your experience of your identity. If you are not expecting that, but you are expecting a new package of intellectual toys, you are likely to misunderstand what is happening. And you will call out the regiment of Ideas of Self-Protection to send in to deal with this disruptive upsetting of the status quo of your identity. And because this point of development is a point of development, it will not be squelched by the regalia of metaphysical attack forces. It will feel like a struggle, and it will feel intense, and all of it will be unnecessary.
I will tell you one thing: You are not just hearing what I am saying with your ears. You are hearing it with your Being. And every single one of you in this room, and every single one who happens to hear a tape recording of what is happening right now, will remember what I have just said when this development begins to occur. And it will save all of you some time, because you will not decide to bring your "clear, correct thinking" into play to battle against that which is actually raising you from the dead! Raising you out of ignorance.
The Northwest Foundation for A Course in Miracles is a non-profit organization devoted to facilitating enlightenment, Awakening, whether one is a student of the Course or not. It is the sole publisher and distributor of the Raj Material, making it available at cost in accordance with Raj's directions. Your tax-exempt contributions support free public workshops, private conversations with Raj, and our general operating expenses. They are greatly appreciated.
Conversations with Raj is made up of actual questions and answers drawn, with permission, from private conversations with Raj and public Workshops. Rajpur, an Ascended Master, is an Individuality making himself known by means of conscious channeling through Paul Norman Tuttle for the purpose of facilitating the major shift of consciousness which mankind is entering into.
Conversations with Raj is published monthly, by the Northwest Foundation for A Course in Miracles, a non-profit tax-exempt corporation, P.O. Box 870, Hanalei, HI 96714. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $15.00; single issue $1.50. Copyright Ó 1991 by Paul Norman Tuttle. All rights reserved.
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