CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
VOL. 5, NOS. 7 & 9
The Observing Self
[The following questions and answers are from the Carmel, California Workshop, Evening with Raj, held July 21, 1988.]
QUESTION: There are a great many confusing things happening in my life right now, and what I would like to know is if there are any new questions that it would help me to ask myself in order to learn from all that's coming to me?
RAJ: Just because there are things happening that are confusing because you can't get control of them doesn't mean you are confused.
Now, I am going to encourage you to be aware of the fact that you are the "observing Self." You are that conscious awareness in which all of these things that you are conscious of are being experienced. This You that is observing it all, has no limits, is infinite, and is unmoved by this ebb and flow of events that your ego isn't being able to get hold of and control.
If you will contemplate this imagery, which is an exact statement of truth, you will begin to see that you do not need to define yourself according to what is going on in the arena of consciousness. In effect, it allows you to step back into a place of immovability and stability, and you will realize that these things can go on indefinitely without affecting your ability to be stable.
Of course, the tendency is to feel that you are supposed to be in charge of it all, and that it is your personal responsibility to bring all of these apparently chaotic things into alignment and order and peace. But, if you step into the arena, it is necessary for you to forget that you are the conscious awareness in which all of these events are going on. And if you forsake that larger view, you will seem to be one of the events going on in this Totality, and you will become part of that which is causing the confusion, and you will see yourself as confused.
The first thing you need to be aware of is that you are not responsible for creating order out of chaos. That responsibility has not been put on your shoulders. You do not have to solve the chaos. You need to step back. You need to identify yourself as that infinite conscious awareness in which all conscious experiences are occurring.
One very effective way of demonstrating this fact at an experiential level is through meditation, because when you move out of the surface reactive level of your conscious awareness and you move into that quiet, centered place, you are moving into the experience of the immovability of You as Consciousness. In this quiet centeredness, you have the capacity to access your Knowing -- your Knowing as this infinite conscious awareness that you actually Are. And from that perspective, you can begin to see the orderliness of what is happening and disorderliness which was apparent from the reactive ego level will no longer seem to be going on in an affective way.
As a result of this centered perspective, as I said earlier, you will be able to act appropriately, but your actions from this standpoint will be relative to what is Real, rather than what the ego says is real, and what it says you must respond to.
If you choose to take this avenue of meditation to become centered, you will find that in practical terms in your daily life there will be decisions that will have to be made, steps that will have to be taken, directions decided against and directions decided for. So, once you have become centered, and you are quiet, and before you leave wherever you have been doing the meditation, in that quietness, list in your mind the options, or choices, or things apparently needing to be dealt with, and simply ask, "What needs to be dealt with first?"
You know the old joke, "How do you swallow an elephant?" One bite at a time. You are not required to deal with the problems of the Universe in one fell swoop. You are not required to do everything at once. So, when you are quiet and centered, as I said, in your mind's eye list the things that are apparently before you to do, and gently inquire as to which one should appropriately be handled first. Then, either listen for the indication of the item, or wait for one of them, in your mind's eye, to become illuminated or set apart from the rest in some way. And when that happens, say, "Okay." And then attend to it.
The natural orderliness of the unfoldment of your Being involves orderliness of dealing with your daily life, because just as your body is not something separate and apart from your Soul or your Individuality, neither is any aspect of your life. There is a cohesiveness or an integrity to all of it. So, when, in the quietness, you inquire as to the next orderly thing, you can expect to get the clarification needed in order to deal with it because it isn't something separate from your divinity. It isn't something separate from your Being.
It is very important to understand that what you call "that which is Real in you," is absolutely embracing every single conscious experience you are having. The world, the universe, the stars, the moon, et cetera, are all experiences going on within your consciousness. And you are that consciousness which is big enough to embrace it all. And if you had the means to travel through space at this time, so that you could experience other galaxies and other worlds ad infinitum, you would find yourself quite capable of embracing them all in you as conscious awareness.
You think small because you only look at what is right in front of you. And until someone touched down on the moon, it was only an impossible dream to walk on the moon, and you could only conceive of the moon as something to be romantic about. Now it is the stepping-stone to the universe, and every one of you embraces within you a sense of largeness. Because men have put their foot on the moon, it means your foot could be on the moon, and it means that you no longer need to think like a trapped creature on this globe. The universe is yours. It is available to you. You are thinking bigger. As you walk around in your daily activities, you do not walk as such a tiny limited human being.
What needs to be grasped is the great value of the Silence within you, the Peace that is in you, ever present. You ignore It, but It never goes away. And in It, you have the opportunity to experience your Integrity mentally, physically, and in terms of your daily experience. You have the opportunity to experience your peace of mind, your health of body, and your harmony of activity in the world and the universe.
Don't go looking for intellectual answers to solve your problems. Don't go for a better and better answer, a more potent answer, a new answer. Learn to set aside the "going for the answer" and become still. And then, in the stillness, be open to the disclosure of the already existing order of things, so that you may simply flow with it. And in flowing with it discover that you are flowing with your Self in a larger aspect, a more infinite aspect, than you have ever grasped yourself before.
QUESTION: I want to know whether my hearing loss has to do with my not wanting to hear certain things in my life, and what I must do to regain my hearing, or whether that's reasonable to expect?
RAJ: I will answer the last part of your question first because it is the most important -- as to whether it is reasonable to be able to expect the experience of healing, even if it requires regenerative processes, physically speaking.
Every single one of you needs to embrace the potential of healing as a reality, even if it requires physical regeneration. The only thing, which keeps any of you from experiencing physical perfection, is the justification you provide, and the withholding of permission for the experience, because you are so darn sure that you know that it can't possibly happen.
Now, your body is not just a physical organism that is a result of the joining of a sperm and an egg. It is not something, which provides a temporary habitation for your spirit or your soul, and therefore has no valid connection between what you divinely Are and what you appear to be, physically speaking.
Your body is part and parcel of what you truly Are. It is the visibility and tangibility of your Individuality. It has, therefore, a divine or real function, and that is to render visible the presence of your Individuality. It therefore knows how to do it perfectly. This is important. It knows how to do this perfectly.
The self-doubt and the fear around the body, the distrust of the body, the wondering what it is going to do next, as though it had a mind of its own, the hate that eventually grows relative to the body -- all of these factors get in the way of your experiencing the body's inherent and natural tendency and objective to render your Individuality visible and tangible.
Thus, you experience a distorted or disoriented or altered experience of body, which you call disease or damage. And your confidence that it is inclined to not regenerate itself, but to actually ultimately decay and quit on you, blocks your ability to be receptive to, open to, the experience of regenerative healing, and this is an unnecessary limitation. But, the word you give governs how much of your perfection you will experience. And that is a simple truth.
You hear of spontaneous remission, or healing, of various diseases that are supposedly incurable, and you say it is either a fluke, or you have not gotten true information, or it was the grace of God which that person must have deserved, but ... you probably don't. And this is the way you justify the ongoing experience of physical limitation.
In your case the hearing loss is not due to not wanting to hear certain things. It arises out of a sense of the body being something quite independent from your Soul; something which has evolved on the planet as a physical effect, which was not meant to provide you with comfortable lodging for more than a certain number of years before it begins to fall apart and force you to move on to God knows where.
So, there has been, with you, although not totally consciously, the expectation of deterioration of one sort or another. And that expectation is what has manifested.
Now, I will tell you something: It is not so much the expectation of deterioration as it is the withdrawal of your receptiveness to health that has manifested. It is as though you slowly begin to close your eyes and, as a result, see less and less, and then you say there is something wrong with your eyes.
I encourage you, first of all, to be open to the possibility of the reversal of the process you have been experiencing -- not only the reversal, but the complete eradication of all evidences of hearing loss. I encourage all of you to contemplate the meaning of the word "eradication" when it comes to healing or correction of something not embodying perfection. So often, healing is thought of as "getting better," but not 100% -- not the complete elimination of or eradication of every last vestige of the limit or the disease.
So, let there be a willingness and an openness to experience healing that manifests the complete eradication of every evidence of hearing loss, or of disease, or of a physical limit that you were born with. Do not be reluctant to think in absolute terms of healing. And, I encourage you to give some thought to what I have said about the body having a divine purpose, a real purpose -- that being the identification, the rendering visible and tangible, of your Individuality. Then, let yourself move out of the way of that happening. And you move out of the way of it by monitoring your thoughts, so that you may be alert to the conditioned arguments or justifications for not experiencing the correction of the problem, or the release of the limit. And I encourage you to do this with a certain light-heartedness.
You do not have to earn your healing by working hard at it. It is your birthright! It is the nature of your Being, completely -- mind/ body/soul, et cetera -- to experience its perfection. It doesn't have to be earned through hard labor. And when I have suggested to be alert to your thoughts, I do not mean for you to become compulsive and so homed-in on it that you do not allow yourself to enjoy life in all of the other areas.
The hearing loss is not a penalty you are paying for some flaw, and therefore there is not a penance associated with the process of the healing that you must pay.
I truly encourage you to be very light and expectant and open to the reversal of the process and the eradication of the apparent physical effects that you have been having, and watch what happens -- or shall I say hear what happens.
Breaking up Hate
QUESTION: I was wondering if you had any tips to break up hate in general, or for me, that prevents healing.
RAJ: There is only one way you are going to break up hate and its effects, and that is going to be as a result of a conscious choice on your part not to engage your mind in such a debilitating and depriving activity.
I know that the ego suggests to you that there is a significant and meaningful payoff to hate. It gets you justice, it says. But what it does is, it embroils you in an incapacity to experience your peace, your clarity, your capacity to love. It distorts your perception of the world. I will say it distorts your perception of Reality. You are the one who suffers for the hate that is directed to another in an effort to get justice -- "justice" means "satisfaction within you" that someone else has had to suffer like you. But, I will tell you something: unless that "someone else" is engaged in an inner-conflicting process, as you are, that one will not suffer, no matter how much you hate him or her, and you will be the only brunt of the hate process.
This is what you need to be clear on, so that you see that you are the one who suffers, and that there never will be a payoff, and therefore the process of hating is a total waste of your opportunity to experience your clarity and your joy of living.
Now, I am going to approach this from another angle. You are making a god out of whoever you hate. You are saying that the investment of the distaste and the dislike in this other person is worth more than You; is worth more than your experiencing the peace and the joy of being Conscious. And you become the servant of the one you would hate. That's what it appears on the surface to be. What you really become the servant of is the ego in you, which has suggested that there is a satisfaction to be gained by "nailing" him or her "out-there."
The ego always distracts you from itself by aiming you in the direction of someone or something "out-there" who is not allowing you to experience the joy of being. But that which suggests that you look outside of yourself is the culprit. And so, I am redirecting your attention so that you may see that if you are experiencing turmoil, if you are not experiencing your Peace, it is because within yourself you have chosen to pay attention to the suggestion that the ego has presented -- that the resolution of your conflict lies "out-there" instead of in your choice not to validate the suggestion that the ego is making within you.
Your peace is absolutely never dependent upon what someone else is or isn't doing. It is entirely dependent upon whether you choose to hook into the ego's suggestion that what that other one is doing is a justifiable reason for becoming upset.
Anyone can do anything, and you are not required to forsake your Peace. And the interesting thing is that if you do not choose to forsake your Peace, the bothersome activity "out-there" will stop.
You complicate the picture by believing that the problem is "out-there" in someone else -- in something they are, or something they did, or something that they didn't do, which you have decided they should have done in order for you to feel good about yourself. Well, that is a cop-out. The only thing that you can do to feel good about yourself is to start feeling good about yourself! And, if you haven't been doing it for a long time, then when you start it's going to seem as though you have no justifiable reason for doing it. Do it anyway! There doesn't have to be a good reason for it.
Doing it is what is healing -- not having the explanation or justification for it. I will tell you, you can justify it until you are blue in the face. If you don't do it, you won't feel one bit better.
What I am saying is not too simplistic. It is this simple. Your conditioning if you believe it, will tell you that if a certain thing is going on, you can only respond angrily. And that is incorrect. You can respond any way you decide to respond! That's the kind of authority you have. And that authority is what you suffer from not experiencing when you give your power away and turn someone into a god by hating him at your expense.
The ego is a liar. And when it projects the problem away from its dirty deeds to someone "out-there," you can rest assured that satisfaction will never come, because that isn't where the solution lies. The solution lies in your active decision, your expression of your authority to think or respond differently than with anger.
Now, I will say one more thing. There are people you know who will be aware of whatever the situation might be that seems to cause anger, and they will say that for you to be happy under those circumstances means you have gone off your rocker. And if you are not careful, you will be sucked into their support of your ongoing ignorance of your authority, and you will not exercise your authority by being at peace when everyone thinks you ought to be upset. What does it matter what they think if you have gotten the key to being at peace no matter what is going on?
If you have found the way to have your peace, you have found the way to have the perspective that allows you to be appropriate. You have found the arena in which your capacity to love can find expression. And I will tell you that that is where the satisfaction will be experienced that the ego is telling you you can only get if you "nail" that guy or gal.
The satisfaction you want is the experience of your Integrity, which the ego is violating in the first place by suggesting that you "nail" someone "out-there" instead of the ego, itself. You have the choice at every moment to respond in the way you choose to respond.
Motivation vs. Ambition
Cause of Suffering
[The following questions and answers are from private conversations with Raj.]
QUESTION: I'm a student of the spiritual path, and it's a pretty radical path for me. It's about surrendering my will completely over to the power of the Universe. But there's a part of my mind that is confused between releasing my ambition for things that I've always wanted and becoming a total couch potato. I'm wondering if you have any response about the difference between surrendering your will totally and safeguarding from allowing your ego to keep you from being really alive or active?
RAJ: First of all, understand that there is a clear distinction between ambition and motivation. One can be ambitious without feeling motivation. One can be ambitious out of fear, and fear does not constitute a motivation arising from one's Soul, or one's Being.
When I am using the word "motivation," here, I am speaking of that which moves you to act, which doesn't arise from the intellect, or from reasoning, but from a movement within you that tells you such and such an action is appropriate and on track, or on target for you. When I use the word "motivation," I am speaking of the movement of your essential Being, which always comes to you as a feeling, or a meaning, and the reason it has meaning is because it relates so completely to you.
When your actions arise out of inner motivation, rather than out of reaction based upon your conditioned thinking, or reaction based upon your ignorance, the result will always be successful and harmonious, and will always blend in with everyone and everything else in your experience in a way that you could not have personally organized or caused.
Now, to surrender your will truly, means to relinquish actions arising out of your ego. Another way of describing the ego is "conditioned thinking" which is based only upon the data derived from the five senses.
When you are surrendering your will, when you are surrendering your ego, the only thing you can be surrendering into is your Being, which is inseparable from the universal Life-Principle, the universal intelligence, God -- however you choose to describe it -- the Will of the Father, because at the essential level of your Being, you are inseparable from the universal Will. Your Will is inseparable from the universal Will.
The universal Will is the "intent to be" which is called Creation. Therefore, at the essential and Real level of your Being, you are inseparable from the movement of Creation, and therefore being (and I am using that as a verb) is active with conscious intent -- motivation, if you will -- and so there will always be activity.
If you are surrendering your will at an ego level, you will be coming into a clearer experience of the movement of your Being. There will be nothing whatsoever inactive about it and it will be impossible to be a "couch potato," as you put it. One who is a couch potato is one who is surrendering ambition, but using his "ego will" to be what he thinks is quiet, centered, still, receptive. But this act is more a denial of the human will than it is a surrender of it into the Will of one's Being, or the universal Will, because, as I said, surrendering or yielding to the universal Mind, the universal Will, constitutes being flooded with profound experiences of meaning and motivation to be!
Further, the motivation defines its intent to you, rather than your having to figure it out -- so that, from an ego level, it will appear as though you are simply being a puppet of your Will, a facilitator of what is already Intended and already moving into fulfillment.
In other words, you could imagine that the human will is like trying to be the wave in the ocean. But as you shift from willfulness to willingness, you shift from attempting to be "the wave" to being that which "catches" and rides the wave, and does not attempt to be creative, but allows himself to flow with the movement of Creation which is inseparable from his Being.
What I have described here is not an absolute statement. It is an intermediate statement. Eventually, the sense of being something separate from the wave, cooperating with or flowing with the wave will yield to being the wave. But being the wave at this point is very different from the initial attempts to be "the wave" by the ego, because the ego does not take into consideration the existence of your Being. It makes the false assumption that it is all there is to yourself. And so, the intermediate step is one where this small sense of yourself agrees to become congruent with and cooperate with your Being. And then finally the yielding becomes complete so that you let yourself into the movement of Creation, which is the movement of the Father, which is inseparable from What You Are. But at that point, there will be no sense of any willfulness to "being the wave."
QUESTION: In regard to that, how about practical guides specifically career wise? Is it as simple as just a feeling of surrender and just seeing what will happen during the day?
RAJ: Let me put it this way: Surrender into the moment, not into the day. And recognize that the moment is constituted of the movement of your Being, even though it appears to be you and a million other people, and a city, and a community, and an economy, et cetera. In yielding into the moment, you will have no preconceptions about what you are going to do all day, or even a part of the day. In becoming centered within yourself, you will connect with movement. And that movement, as I said, will define itself, if you are listening and not trying to create an activity for your day. And that which needs to be done, will come to your attention, and what does not need to be done will not come to your attention. And the fundamental orderliness of your Being will become obvious. And you will know that it is time to go and get gas in your car, or to look in the paper for this or that, or go to the grocery store, or pay a bill, or stay near the phone.
The movement of your Being is absolutely relative to where you are -- with cars, and phones, and dwellings, and dirty dishes, and traffic lights, et cetera. And you can expect your Being to reveal Itself in practical terms relative to where you are, even though you know that at some future point, when you are experiencing greater enlightenment, some of the fol-de-rol of your present experience will no longer be present.
QUESTION: Say that again.
RAJ: Even though you know that at some future point of enlightenment, some of the fol-de-rol, some of the nonsense that is going on and treated as though it is sensible, will be gone, it doesn't matter, because your Being will nevertheless unfold that which identifies your fulfillment in whatever your present language of perception is.
So, I encourage you, relative to career or income-generating activity, to dare to become still -- and understand that that does not mean ending up being a couch potato -- and listen. And I will specifically suggest that you gently feel for, be attentive to, that which you love, that which means something to you, because your Being, if It is unfolding that which identifies your fulfillment, will be unfolding that which is recognizable to you at this moment as meaningful for you, as something that you love.
The point you need to be clearest upon is that the absolute divinity, the absolute perfection of your Being is not intangible, ethereal, other-worldly, unconnected with the life you are living. That which is absolutely true about you is what you are experiencing relatively. So, that absolute perfection and fulfillment which your Being is unfolding, is what you will be experiencing, even if it is through a partial vision.
What is absolutely true about you will be what you are experiencing in terms of your everyday life, because there is literally nothing else for you to be experiencing. You will either experience it clearly or unclearly. You will either experience it consciously or unconsciously, depending upon whether you are expecting to see evidence of your fulfillment in your everyday life, or whether you are feeling that your fulfillment is somehow abstract or on some other "level" of Reality than where you are living. In that case you will approach your day and your world with no expectation of seeing your fulfillment there, even though that is all that is confronting you. Your inner assurance that it cannot be there will cause you to be closed to the perception of it.
On the other hand, once this point becomes clear to you, you will immediately begin to become curious to see the evidences of the absolute truth about you, the universal truth about you, right in the specific experience of Life that you are having now. And as that curiosity is activated, you will begin to see the evidences, and you will say, "The hand of the universe is active in my life." You will recognize the unity of the absolute with what is called the "relative." And Life will become delightful and far from boring.
QUESTION: Lately I've been formulating this belief in my mind where the world of the five senses and everything that I see and touch, is not really happening -- that it's only happening in the realm of thought, that it's only just a dream. I'm wondering what you have to say about that?
RAJ: It is not a dream. It is actually happening. But it is not actually happening in the way you are experiencing it at the moment.
The world and universe you experience is not just the concoction of the human mind, or the ego, having no existence other than that which the ego energizes it with. The ego is incapable of being creative.
There is Reality occurring, which is either perceived truly or is misperceived. The ego misperceives Reality. The conditioned thinking that arises out of the limited data of the five physical senses brings you to false conclusions because the premises for those conclusions are not complete -- do not take all the factors into consideration. Thus, your perception of Reality is distorted, and in that sense is not valid. But it is not totally illusory. It is a misperception of something Actual in a universal sense.
Now, for all practical purposes, you can assume that your present perception of the world is a dream. The perception of the world is a dream. But the world -- that about which the perception is a perception -- is real! Your line of thinking is helpful if you recognize that it describes Reality as experienced through the limited ego perception, and the limits of the five physical senses. It is helpful, because it allows you not to take everything quite as seriously as you have in the past and allows you to be on the threshold of discovering whatever the "more" is that is present which the ego is not perceiving, so that you are able to get beyond the distorted perception into the perception of Reality as the universal Life-Principle experiences it.
This is important, because if you identify it all as a dream or as an illusion, having absolutely no actual existence, you will begin to disrespect it. Why take care of an illusion? Why fix up an illusion? Why attend to an illusion in any way? After all, it's Reality you're interested in. And the result is what can be described psychologically as becoming "ungrounded," becoming unable to relate to one's experience. And I will tell you, that is not the way to get beyond whatever illusory aspects there are to your present sense of things.
What does allow you to move beyond your present sense, and move into your greater capacity to be aware is the acknowledgment that indeed you are perceiving everything in a distorted way, because you are not seeing all there is to it. Therefore, you can afford to bring into play the curiosity that you had as a child to explore and discover. And in that attitude of curiosity, you are in a position of letting in the clearer perception of the Reality that you know is going on right there where a distorted perception is being experienced.
This is not only grounding but it points your attention right where Reality is present to be experienced. Whereas, in calling it all "illusion" or a "dream," a fabrication of the imagination, one's attention will naturally attempt to be somewhere other than the fabrication or illusion. And there is no other place for Reality to be. That withdrawal from Reality -- because it is all thought to be illusion -- causes an "inward twist" to occur, which constitutes a form of insanity -- because one is actively engaged in the denial of Reality and the attempt to exit from it, even though the belief is that such movement is the movement into enlightenment.
At the bottom line, this reluctance to observe Reality right where you are is what has already caused the mess you are in. The withdrawal from perceiving Reality where you are is what is described as experiencing Reality through the five physical senses, and that is called "the human condition."
I am not picking on you specifically. Everyone is experiencing this problem to one degree or another. And the correction of this insanity of attempting to find Reality -- the illumined experience of Truth -- somewhere other than right where you are, is what originally led to what you now call the ego, and the distorted ego sense of everything.
This is an important point to understand.
QUESTION: Does God plan things like car accidents, and cars breaking down? I mean, where exactly is choice, here, in terms of the "bad" things that happen to people? Who is responsible for the pain? Are we? Or is it the universal Principle, or That which plans everything?
RAJ: First of all, the universal Principle, or universal Mind doesn't plan anything! The movement of Creation is expressed in the words, "Behold, I make all things new." It is that which moves into expression spontaneously. And because the universal Principle or Mind is, Itself, intelligence, Principle, Love, Truth, et cetera, Its Movement constitutes a movement of intelligence and Love and Principle, et cetera -- a movement of flawless orderliness and harmony -- because the nature of the movement is derived from the nature of that which is moving.
The universal Mind, the universal Principle, is infinite. Being infinite, It is incapable of being divided. It is indivisible. It is a unity. And although Its movement is experienced as an infinite Self-expression, the infinitude of that expression remains an expression of Unity. That which is indivisible cannot become polarized, cannot be divided into opposites. So, pain, suffering, accident and chance, et cetera, do not arise out of the movement of Creation. Very simply, they arise out of the denial of the movement of Creation, which is best described as the ego.
When you, for example, are not taking the time to listen deeply within yourself to what You love -- not "you" as an ego, but That which is absolutely congruent with the movement of your Being -- when you do not take time to listen and pay attention, and you arrive at conclusions based on your intellect, those conclusions may or may not be in harmony with your Being. And if they are not in harmony with your Being, then your actions become at variance, at odds with, the movement of fulfillment that your Being is irrevocably engaged in. When you are in that situation, you have conflict, and you cannot be comfortable, and what you do will not be fulfilling.
Likewise, when you look at your world and say, "It is not real," then you are in a state of denying Reality. In other words, you are denying yourself the opportunity to see Reality more clearly than your present definition of it all. Thus, you act at odds with Reality, which is inseparable from the movement of your Being, and this constitutes a state of Self-denial. Because you see your universe as other than Reality, you see it as that against which you must develop a defense, because it cannot be dependable. So, you act aggressively against the opportunity to experience Reality right where you are.
Again, you cannot do this and be comfortable. So, you have manifestations of the incongruency called inharmony, disease, accident, fear, anxiety, hatred, et cetera.
It is the unwillingness to see God everywhere, and the fear that arises from defining everything as different or other than God, that causes one to become incongruent with Life and defensive against It. And those acts of defense create what are called negative or trying or exhausting or terminal problems.
QUESTION: Even when something looks like it's a coincidence or bad luck?
RAJ: There is absolutely no "chance" to anything! Every single detail reflects precisely either your clarity and your willingness or your unclarity and your willfulness. There is absolutely nothing random in existence. Either you are experiencing God specifically, or you are experiencing your resistance to the experience of God specifically. That should provide you with a great sense of security -- to know that nothing is happening by chance, that there is absolute order to your difficulties just as there is absolute order to your peace and harmony and your ultimate perception of Reality.
QUESTION: What's the appropriate response to something that looks like good fortune, or being at the right place at the right time?
RAJ: Joy, together with a recognition that it didn't have anything to do with chance, and that it is specifically the evidence of the movement of your Being identifying, visibly and tangibly in your experience, that which identifies fulfillment.
Do not just enjoy it as some external event. See to it that you make the connection between that event and your essential Being, so that the unity of it can add to the experience of joy.
QUESTION: Another concept that's been floating around my head lately is this idea that my essential Being lives in a place that is unbound by time. In other words, it has always been and always will be. When I feel that way, sometimes I feel as though there's really nothing to strive for, that the only thing to do here is to play, really.
RAJ: First of all, what you have described has been a truer glimpse of Reality, and a truer glimpse of You. Your Being is in a place where time does not exist.
But, what I want you to know is that this place -- Los Angeles, your planet, if you will -- is in that place where time does not exist. That place is here and now, and not in another dimension -- not in another place where there is no planet earth. Awakening to the timeless Nature of Existence -- with planet earth, and with the universe -- is what you have to look forward to, if you become curious to see Reality right where you are. Certainly it will be a transformed experience of where you are, but it will not be a transformation of your mind that moves you into a different realm where none of what you are experiencing now exists.
Now, you are absolutely correct. What will there be to strive for? Actually, it is your ego, which asks that question, because it thrives on goals. It depends upon strife -- striving -- in order to exist. But as I indicated in the beginning of our conversation today, as you let go of that, you come into the clearer experience of the motivation -- the energy of the movement -- of Being. So, Creation continues, but there is no striving to it. And it doesn't continue in order to achieve. It continues because that is the Nature of Being.
So, Life continues. Existence continues but, without the element of goals, of striving, of accomplishing. It becomes the experience of the bubbling over of Life. A movement like a spring or a well from deep within, moving out -- not to get somewhere, but because there simply is no way to hold in the movement of Life. So, again, to be totally Awake will not be passive and dull. Everyone will not be sitting around on pink clouds strumming harps. How boring. How monotonous. How uninteresting.
Existence, or Being, will become more vital, and the fear and the burden of responsibility that has accompanied striving and accomplishing will be gone.
So, your perception is correct fundamentally. But it is incorrect in the sense that you come to the conclusion that the experience of Life will have less meaning to it -- that being Awake will constitute a loss of something vital. It is the loss of striving that allows you to be clear enough to experience the vitality and the meaning of Life, and that is a Fact.
QUESTION: My question has to do with my gums, upon which no progress seems to have been made. I'm open to receive anything you can share that will be of help.
RAJ: Again, persistence of faith, persistence of trust, is what is required, whether the evidence is there or not, because it is the persistence of faith or trust that undoes the beliefs that are contributing to this distorted perception of your healthy gums.
Now, I do want you to stop thinking of your gums as organic, and of the healing as an organic process, because I will tell you that what causes your gums to appear to be physical, and the evidence of physical processes, is the limit of the ego frame of reference, placed upon Reality, and therefore placed upon the presence of the divine idea appearing as gums, which the Father is expressing.
You must understand that your body was not created in the past -- set into motion and then abandoned to its own fate -- but rather that it is the current evidence of a current and living God, a current movement of Creation.
Again, that which causes the divine idea and meaning seen as gums is misperceived by the ego as being physical, and the result of physical processes, which in your particular case seem to have deteriorated. This misperception is a current misperception of a currently perfect expression of the Father. And what will be corrected, and what is being corrected, is not physical structure, but the perception that causes the perfection to seem to be less than complete and less than present.
It is this misperception which your persistence of faith and trust dissolves or cuts through, and you are, as long as you persist, bound to experience the breakthrough and the shift in perception that allows you to experience your gums in their perfect state, expressing their divine reason for being. This will give you something new to think about.
QUESTION: Can you say anything to me about what is the divine purpose of my gums?
RAJ: First of all, to be a specific expression of the radiancy of Love. The substance of every form is Love being loving, if I may put it that way. Thus, every form you see if you were experiencing it fully, would constitute the presence of and the expression of Love. You would feel yourself to be unseparated from and, if I may put it this way, irradiated by the radiancy of Love, and you would also experience the fact that that Love is not only inseparable from you, but is you in your infinite aspect.
Divinely speaking it cannot be said that your gums constitute part of the structure that holds your teeth in place so that you can chew food in order to live, because in the state of totally awakened Being, one does not eat in the sense that you experience it at the moment. And, indeed, it is not truly possible for me to relate to you, the meaning of gums in their absolutely divine definition. But, for you to understand that the form expresses Meaning, and the Meaning arises out of the Self-expression of the Father, and the substance of that form is Love, so that the form is the communication of Love, comes as close as I can come to relating the appropriate answer to your question. And, indeed, it is helpful for you to have this kind of answer, so that you might find your thought lifted out of the current context in which your ego interprets the meaning or purpose or function of your gums.
QUESTION: I have been told by a psychic that the injury to the tendons in my right hand are of real significance. The injury is about two years old and is not improving. Another said that it was some kind of a resurfacing cell memory of a crucifixion I underwent in Roman times. And yet another has said that these knots in the palm of my hand are blocking the inflow into my body of cosmic energy, and furthermore that the pattern in my hand indicates that this blockage is being "rooted" into my subconscious.
RAJ: It is important for you not to build up too much of a belief structure relative to what is, and can only be, an illusion. In other words, the more concretely you can begin to think about an illusion, the less illusory it can seem to become, and therefore the more real it can seem to become by virtue of your having an explanation of it.
You must maintain the stance that illusion is illusion, and is illegitimate, and therefore any explanation of it must be nonsense. In this way, you give the truth of the illusion to the illusion, by keeping it clearly as an illusion. An illusion is not difficult to work with. But what seems to be real is difficult to work with, because you must go through the process of removing whatever has seemed to give it reality to you before you can arrive at the point of seeing its nothingness, its purely illusory nature.
That which is illusion has no substance to it. That which has no substance to it has no means of maintaining itself, and cannot remain in the presence of your dismissal of it from your experience.
Now, the focus I wish you to give to this particular manifestation is freedom -- freedom as your inherent birthright; that which, because it is your birthright, can never have been taken away. And that which seems to be covering it over is an illusion -- nothing claiming to be something.
The freedom that it is your God-given birthright to experience in the movement of your hand and your fingers needs to be claimed. And it needs to be claimed on the basis that there is nothing that has the capacity to cover up that freedom.
To the degree that you are able to describe some physical incident and the development of certain physical changes, and to the degree that you buy into that experience as if it were fact, rather than illusion in varying forms, you will find your claim to your birthright of freedom to be slow in being expressed as healing. So, I am encouraging you specifically to begin to invalidate the history of the illusion, the development of the illusion, the limitation of the illusion, by recognizing that it is all illusion and expect to see all evidences of all aspects of that illusion to disappear -- to be swallowed up, if you will, in the experience of your freedom.
QUESTION: So, once before, regarding the pain and stiffness in my right shoulder, you said that that was due to my taking on responsibility with the small "self" to accomplish things. That pain remains there. As a matter of fact, the whole right side of my body all seems to be the focus of injury and pain. Is this all related to that same issue of "attempting to do it personally?" Is there anything else you can tell me about releasing into this freedom?
RAJ: It does all revolve around the tightening up, the densifying of your right side in an effort to have more "presence" as you "lead with your right" in dealing with your world from a personal level of responsibility. But, you see, that attitude can only arise if a judgment has been arrived at regarding the world, that it is your enemy, which therefore requires that you deal with it with some power, some degree of force. And, of course, the judgment that your world is your antagonist is an act of hostility on your part.
It is absolutely essential for you, and for everyone, to begin to interpret the world on the basis that if there is anything going on at all, it must be the Kingdom of Heaven seen clearly or "through a glass darkly," seen truly or seen through the distorting lens of the ego. But, no matter which way it is viewed, that which is being viewed is the Kingdom of Heaven, and nothing else.
On this basis, you can begin to dare to let go of the judgment that it is something else, and the conclusion drawn from that judgment that you must, indeed, be able to deal with it through force. As you are able to let go of your defensiveness, or shall I say your aggressiveness -- and they are really one and the same thing -- because there is a greater clarity in you that allows you to acknowledge that if anything is going on at all it must be the Kingdom of Heaven seen clearly or unclearly, you will experience relief from this pain, because you will not need to hold your body tight to be safe, to be protected as you deal aggressively with the world.
This is not only an important lesson, it is an imperative lesson.
QUESTION: I presume, from your other counsel, that notwithstanding your notation of aggressiveness, I am still to do things, rather than simply become a meditator. I gather that you are trying to get through to me about the "way" I am in life, rather than becoming completely passive. Is that correct?
RAJ: That is absolutely correct. Let me put it this way, for simple clarity: You have, on occasions, gone through a door and closed it behind you, and the closing of the door was an act of aggression. When you think of the word "aggressive," think of it in terms of aggression. On other occasions, you have simply been active, and you have gone through the door and closed it because it was cold, and if the door was not closed, everyone inside would freeze. And the closing of the door was simply the unfoldment of a natural and appropriate action, and aggression was no part of it. You see the difference?
QUESTION: That is a perfect example. Thank you. There are times lately when physically I feel a feeling that I term "dog's lunch" -- just a general feeling of being tired and achy, as though I have been working physically much harder than I have. And my question is whether some of the time that is what you might call a positive healing symptom of transformational energies moving through me, or whether all of the time it is due to this tightness of holding my body defensively?
RAJ: It is the latter. You will find that it is also always present when you are not loving yourself -- when, in one way or another, you are allowing the idea to creep in that you are supposed to be more than you are, that you are falling short of the goal, falling short of the mark -- and are in one way or another punishing yourself for not being what you "ought to be." The solution here is simple self-acceptance right where you are, and the acknowledgment and valuing of what you are being that expresses your centered, peaceful, loving, intelligent, divine Selfhood.
You see, you have this experience when you start being conditional with yourself, when your "conditioned thinking" begins to take hold, because your conditioned thinking says that "there are many things you ought to be, and any intelligent person would know it, and you are not being those things." The solution is to become unconditional -- and I desire that you begin to see or understand the word "unconditionally" as "having let go of conditioning." The need is to become unconditional with yourself because that is the only way in which what you divinely Are can come forth as that which constitutes your "presence" in the world.
QUESTION: So, let me say that -- and I suppose this is because I want to hear this really emphasized -- there are times when I know about the tightness as a defense. There are other times when it feels more like something positive like the pain of the first three or four days of football practice when you are "getting into shape." It feels like there are times when higher energies have moved through me with the result of that feeling of being in training.
RAJ: I will tell you that the flow of higher energies, as you put it, never has what you could call negative or hurtful effect unless you are resisting it. Discomfort, pain, suffering, are not inherent in the influx of what you divinely Are, or the influx of enlightenment. Do not honor suffering or pain in any way by identifying it with divine Action. Divine Action embraces none of these negative experiences. To the degree that you make this idiotic association in your mind between the movement of divinity and suffering of any sort, you once again cause illusion to seem to have some reality to it. And to the degree that you can justify illusion by seeing it as in some way real, the longer the suffering, the longer the illusion, will remain.
If you are experiencing anything other than harmony and peace and joy and perfection, you are experiencing illusion. And if there is what you could call a divine movement in you, it must be the movement of harmony, joy, peace, love, perfection, without any negative accompaniments.
Your clarity on this point will allow you to identify suffering in any form as illusion, and, as I said, give the truth to the illusion, calling it for what it is, and not bring to it any insane definition of reality by associating it with the divine movement.
QUESTION: How about pleasure? Are you saying, in the age-old Eastern traditions, that pleasure is simply the opposite of pain and that therefore it is also illusory?
RAJ: If one enjoys pleasure in winning at the game of one-upmanship, if one enjoys a sense of satisfaction and pleasure from being an arrogant and apparently successful ego, then by all means, that pleasure is the flip side of suffering, and is illusion. If one gets pleasure from the misuse of one's body as the tool of the ego, then that apparent pleasure of the body is illusion, and is the flip side of suffering.
But, the body is not illusion, and therefore, it does not have a flip side in either direction -- healthy or unhealthy, sick or well. It is not subject to or available to those polarizations and as the identification of the movement of divine Purpose it is inseparable from the experience of Joy, which is a Soul capacity.
Pleasure is what one experiences when one sees the Kingdom of Heaven truly. Pleasure is what one feels when he feels loved. And when you are Awake and experiencing all forms, as I said earlier, as the radiancy of Love loving, being loving, then it becomes obvious that pleasure is inseparable from the Meaning that finds specific expression as specific form. And this pleasure is also incapable of being polarized.
When you finally experience your body as the living Presence of Love, expressed and expressing, then when it touches any other form which is Love expressed and expressing, there will be an experience of it -- one which by your present terms would be profound, except that all experience will be profound -- and there will be no other word to describe it beside "pleasure."
So, it is not pleasure that is illusory. It is the vantage point from which pleasure is being experienced that is the key.
QUESTION: So, you're saying specifically that the pleasure of sexual love-making as a true loving experience is not illusory, but that same activity held in guilt or as a tool of manipulation is an illusory pleasure. Am I right on that?
RAJ: Absolutely. You see, you may not be your body, but your body still exists. If you identify yourself as body, you are deluded, and all experience following that primary delusion will be illusory. But, as you begin to identify yourself as Conscious Being, as the consciousness within which all experience is going on, and you do not identify yourself as body, you wake up out of your delusion and every experience you had "as a body" will now be experienced in its divine aspect. The body will not disappear. The world will not disappear. The universe will not disappear. But the misperception, which is inseparable from identification with the body, will have disappeared, together with the guilt and the sense of disobedience that accompanies identification with the body.
QUESTION: Thank you. Can you tell me something of the body/soul relationship, or perhaps even say something about the term soul? How is the soul related to the body? Is the soul material? A psychic has told me that it is material and made of what she called "star-stuff." Is there anything you can tell me to specifically help me understand this physical/nonphysical relationship of my body and soul?
RAJ: It is absolutely true that Soul is the same "stuff" of which the body is formed. And that is what was being communicated by speaking of the soul as physical -- so that you might understand that there is an absolute connection. That is the point that was being communicated -- the absolute connection. Not the connection of "levels," but the connection of that which is the same.
Now, what must become clear is that there is no such "stuff" as physical stuff. The definition of energy as "physical" is simply an unenlightened or uneducated interpretation. Your scientists, now having an electron microscope available to them, peering at what they thought was solid matter, solid physical stuff, find that they cannot see a single element of physical substance, of solid form; that indeed it is a pattern of energy, and that the energy is undefinable and untouchable.
Physical matter has disappeared under the scrutiny of those who call themselves scientists researching matter. Now, the next step, which has not yet been taken, involves the discovery that this substance, this energy, has no physical properties, but is the closest they have come to seeing with the eyes the nature and movement of Consciousness, Mind.
The energy is Love. The energy is Soul. The energy is the "atmosphere" of Mind, the common denominator of Mind -- and Mind is God, the Father.
Once your scientists, in their observation, can prove a direct relation between the patterns of energy and the movement of Mind, materialism will give way to spirituality, and all that exists will come under the classification represented by Einstein's Unified Field theory.
Spirit and matter will no longer be determined to be representative of different levels of perception. So, there will not be "level confusion" relative to soul and body, spirit and matter, et cetera. It is all one. It is already all one. And that is what you are beginning to explore and experience the meaning of. You do not need to wait until the scientists have proven this to be true before you can experience the truth of it.
QUESTION: Why do you use the word "movement," and why is it used so much in A Course in Miracles, instead of the word "action," "activity"? I seem not to have a comfortable feeling for this word, "movement," and I must not be understanding it as you use it.
RAJ: First of all, because that's what Being is -- movement. Secondly, because the word "activity" evokes immediate images of what would be called "ego activity" which, generally speaking, is goal oriented, manipulative, controlling. The word "movement" does not evoke those same images.
The word "activity" could be likened to the description of all of the detailed movements of a wave moving and breaking, whereas "movement" goes deeper than those surface activities and brings into play an awareness of the movement being caused by a large volume of water, being unseen, constituting the basis for the surface activity that is seen.
When I use the word "movement," I am referring to the movement of God, the movement of Life, which is, for lack of better words, "big."
When you speak of your daily activities, it is not at all incumbent upon you to conceive of God as having anything to do with them.
RAJ: It is quite easy, when one is thinking in terms of his or her daily activities -- getting up, showering, dressing, driving, adding on an adding machine -- it is quite easy to think of these activities without connecting them up with God at all. But, as increasing clarity regarding the infinite unity of Being unfolds, one becomes aware that every little detail of activity that seems to be able to be perceived only in terms of surface evidences is the manifestation of the movement of God, is absolutely inseparable from the movement of God, and therefore is absolutely incapable of doing anything other than identifying the fulfillment of Purpose of Being. And as that shift in consciousness occurs, as that shift in perception occurs, healing or enlightenment occurs, which contributes to the lifting of the veil for everyone.
Conversations with Raj is made up of actual questions and answers drawn, with permission, from private conversations with Raj and public Workshops. Rajpur, an Ascended Master, is an Individuality making himself known by means of conscious channeling through Paul Norman Tuttle for the purpose of facilitating the major shift of consciousness which mankind is entering into.
Conversations with Raj is published monthly by ESTAR Foundation, 1221 Toledo St., Bellingham, WA 98226. Phone: 206-734-4418. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $36.00; single copy $3.00. Copyright Ó 1988 by ESTAR Foundation. All rights reserved.