CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
[The following questions and answers are from private conversations with Raj.]
QUESTION: I would love any type of clarity on nonviolence and how we should apply it to our lives today.
RAJ: First of all, understand that the ego is quite capable of agreeing to nonviolent social interaction. But understand that that just constitutes an agreed-upon behavior, which simply allows the ego to continue to exist, and it does not constitute actual nonviolence. You might say that the ego is itself, violent against the Father because it is a supposition of life separate and apart from anything other than itself. So, if there is agreement to behave in a nonviolent way, it doesn't necessarily mean that any shift from the ego's frame of reference has occurred, and you end up with an artificial peace.
The reason you have laws is to enforce peace, to promote peace, when peace is not actually being felt, and the threat of punishment for breaking the peace is what tends to keep everyone in line. So, the peace is a false peace. It is better than violence, but it is not Peace.
Now, the nonviolence that I am attributed with having practiced and preached can best be summed up in the word "meekness." Meekness is the equivalent of humility, and humility is what is present when one is in touch with his Self. Meekness, humility, gentleness, nonviolence are what happens when one is yielding to his Being, because in yielding to one's Being, one is yielding to the presence of the Father that constitutes his Individuality. Therefore that one is not expressing a will apart from, separate from, different from the Father's.
One who is meek or humble is always appropriate, and so meekness does not mean becoming a doormat to egos. It does not mean becoming a wimp. It means that one's actions arise out of a direct and clear experience of that which expresses the Father's will. And, of course, that which expresses the Father's will expresses the fundamental will of every single thing that exists.
Now, the reason that the firmness that is expressed out of humility is healing or transforming is because it is not diluted by the presence of any ego motivation, and thereby does not arouse the wrath of the egos which are being addressed in a firm way. Many think I whipped the money changers out of the temple in a fit of anger, self-righteous indignation about the disrespect of "my Father's temple." I did it calmly and clearly, because that event at that time with those particular individuals was enough to trigger the enlightenment that was poised and ready for discernment. A week earlier and the same event would have had no healing significance.
If you want to promote nonviolence in society, then I encourage you to be active in promoting Self-respect. And start with you. That is what will help you to see what is appropriate in promoting Self- respect. I am speaking of Self-respect because the only kind of nonviolence that is actually nonviolent is activity, which arises out of a connectedness with one's Self, in which there is no ego present. It is only out of a connectedness with one's Self that his invulnerability can become obvious to him, and if one is experiencing his invulnerability there is nothing present to motivate violence of any kind or nature.
Now, that is the fact. No matter what you do socially, no matter what you do to promote the idea of the value of nonviolence, you cannot afford to forget or desert the actual requirement for your inner connectedness that allows you to feel and experience the reason why violence isn't necessary. To just manage to bring about a form of social etiquette which will approximate Peace and Lovingkindness is, itself, not invaluable, but it is not the whole answer.
So, if you want to know what is needed, it is what I have described. Besides just promoting good behavior and doing what will help convince people of the value of good behavior, the added depth and meaning of what I have shared needs also to be conveyed so that the agreed-upon behavior may become replaced with behavior that is not controlled by agreement, but behavior that reflects one's experiential awareness of his invulnerability, his connectedness with himself, his willingness to yield to and flow with his Being. From this broad perspective, you have the means to move forward in the world and to connect with the world in a way that is truly healing.
You see, to simply get rid of the symptom of disease is not what constitutes healing. What constitutes healing is to no longer be liable to become ill. The liability that one will act violently -- whether it is mental, physical, verbal or nonverbal violence -- is high if the non-violence or the nonviolent behavior has not arisen from an inner connectedness and is simply a matter of agreed-upon social etiquette.
QUESTION: From what you are saying, then, the way to strengthen that total knowledge of invulnerability is through meditation, or getting quiet.
RAJ: That is the number one way for establishing the habit and the practice of listening.
QUESTION: Are there any other techniques, like chanting, that would help increase that invulnerability?
RAJ: Ultimately, the most effective means of moving into that centered place is in a fashion or a mode that is quiet. If you find it contributive and familiar to chant or to use a mantra, by all means do so. But then, let there be a period in which there is silence, both verbal and within. You can facilitate that by simply paying attention to your breath as it passes the bridge of your nose, and gently bringing your attention back to the bridge of your nose when you find you have been distracted.
I encourage you not to move, and just abide in the quiet. In that quietness, I would encourage you to gently express whatever your desire is, whether it is to know what to do under certain circumstances, whether it is for elucidation of a point of understanding, or whether it is the beginning of a conversation with your Guide. And then be still, so that you may hear the response.
I want you to understand something else. The quiet, centered place that you experience after having meditated and before getting up to do other things is a direct connection with your Self. The peace you are experiencing, the nature of everything that is going on in that quietness, is your Nature. It is the inviolable Peace of your Being. It isn't just a different emotion.
So, I would encourage you not to just see this quiet, centered place as an arena in which to talk with your Guide or connect with your greater capacity to be aware, or commune with the Holy Spirit. It is more than just a means to do something else. It is truly your first glimpse of your Self. So, I would encourage you, when you have time, to just abide in that peace without trying to accomplish anything -- such as speaking with your Guide -- and realize that what you are feeling and experiencing is your Self. Pay attention to IIt and explore It. It constitutes Self-exploration.
Understand that you will not have any way to conceptualize what you are experiencing, and yet the experience will be there. Just experience it. Don't try to give it words. Don't try to give it an explanation. Just feel the experience of the peace. It is yours. It is the eternal peace of your Being. It is eternal not in the sense of time; it is eternal in the sense that it is never actually disrupted or altered in any way, shape or form, even though you, when you move back into your ego space, will find that your experience seems to be conflicted.
The only reason the conflict is experienced is because you have withdrawn from your direct connection with your Being and the nature of your Being seems not to be present. Yet, it is there, absolutely unaltered, and is available for you to use as your home base from which to function in the world if you so choose.
Blowing the Lid off Illusion
QUESTION: Recently, I think we've made a greater commitment to have our talents -- as comedians, as writers -- totally turn toward "God using those talents." I thought of it, actually, when you were talkingg about turning over the tables for the money changers, because we actually want to use our talents to remind people Who they Are. Is there anything you have to say about our using our talents in that way?
RAJ: The desire is on target. I simply encourage you not to conceptualize it. Actually, what I am meaning to convey here is that you are not to assume that causing laughter to occur can be broken down into a legitimate and an illegitimate reason for laughter. I mean for you not to conceptualize that what you have been doing has not been healing, and that perhaps serving God, or allowing God to be expressed in your work, might in some way constitute a real difference in what you do. You do not want to become a comedy team who could only find work on the Christian Broadcasting Network.
Lenny Bruce was a very healing presence. The ego was shocked but he contributed to actual change. He broke down the fixedness of change. He broke down the fixedness of Victorian attitudes. His work was absolutely divine because he spoke from his deep awareness of what was really of Value, and he did not cover it over to satisfy others. So, you see, when I say "do not conceptualize," I am meaning that it is important for you not to become so holy that you become irrelevant, or so pure of purpose that the truth that you utter doesn't relate or compute except with a very select group of religious or metaphysical snobs. It means be connected and speak from the very toes of your Soul. And write from the same place.
QUESTION: I'm glad to hear that because that is what we really want to do. We really want permission to just kind of blow the lid off this whole addictive illusion that everybody is in.
RAJ: Well, be careful. You don't know what "blow the lid off" means. If you really want the lid to be blown off, you will allow what comes to come without any idea of it doing anything. But, if you do think in terms of "blowing the lid off" of the ego, which would seem to be a most righteous idea, you will tend to overlook things that don't strike you as being what would "blow the lid off." You simply cannot afford to slip into a conceptual framework of accomplishing anything in particular, and let everything in general emerge in its own way, in its own time, in its own perfection.
Blowing the lid off is an aggressive act. It is a thought of aggression. And the aggressors will meet response of a like kind. You see, there is no humility in that because there is an assumption that one knows something, knows something true, and is therefore in a position of beating the hell out of illusion with truth. But, you see, that is an act of aggression, not an act that comes out of humility and meekness and gentleness and nonviolence. Whereas, the truth that is spoken out of meekness will cut through the ego without raising a whimper from it, and lay wide open the essential Individuality that the ego has been covering up.
Saving the World
The Money Changers
QUESTION: One other area that I wanted to ask you about, especially since we have been on this nonviolence, is food. Again it goes to social action, because we don't believe in factory farming the way animals are treated, and we're buying more organic produce because we believe that is life affirming to the mother earth versus pesticides which -- you know all about that. Then I get down to vegetable eating, like is that not being a violent act against the vegetable kiingdom, and maybe there's a way we can eat that's just seeds or fruit to where the plant doesn't die. We'd appreciate any clarity.
RAJ: Don't turn any of this into a fetish. You do not have to worry about the eating of vegetables and fruits being an act of violence. An orange in its full intent and purpose for being would be unfulfilled if it were never tasted. How useless to have made it sweet, to have given it a marvelous flavor and color if all it did was provide the seeds with the best opportunity for growth.
Now, when it comes to fish, poultry or livestock of any kind, there is of course an obvious act of violence. And so, if you do not wish to support that violence, do not eat and do not buy meat. Now the simple fact is that your body was not designed to digest meat, and so it is not appropriate whether there is violence involved or not. And whatever reason comes to you for not eating meat, validate it, value it, and find other ways to get your protein. But, then, do not become zealots insistent upon changing the world's point of view. The way you create social change is by being the social change.
Now, you had better get it very clear in your mind that you will not manage to wake up if you are waking up to show the world something, or if you are waking up to benefit the world. You had better engage in waking up because it constitutes an act of Sanity on your part, an act, which demonstrates that you value your Sanity more than your delusions, that you value your integrity more than anything else, because at the bottom line, your valuing of your integrity is your valuing of the Father.
You see, to wake up or express truth for the benefit of the world constitutes a continuing violation of your Self. I said, "Love your neighbor as your self," not before or instead of your self. So if you are going to love your neighbor, and contribute to social change, you are going to have to learn how to do it first by loving yourself and engaging in that act of valuing your Sanity, your Integrity, your unity with the Father. If you don't grasp, by means of experience, your inseparability from the Father, what basis are you going to have for truly loving someone else? You won't know what it is you are loving.
So, when it comes to eating, which you must do at this time, pay attention within, and do what feels congruent with your Being. That is what increases the Light, because the Father is less obscured in you. That is what enlightens the world -- not the words that come out of your mouth, not the social programs you might hope to support and enact. I want you to thinkk on this.
It is the clearer experience of your Integrity that you are after, because that is what is truly contributive. So, if you would take care of your brother, take care of yourself, or it will be the blind leading the blind, and the formation of yet another configuration of the ego called a "New Age Improved Code of Eating Behavior," which will still be nothing but a behavior that doesn't in any way affect the presence and the activity of the ego.
QUESTION: So, are you saying that I don't have to save the world?
RAJ: Everybody has to come to the point where they are no longer indulging in the illusion that there is a world that needs to be saved. Their preoccupation with the world that needs to be saved keeps them from discerning the Kingdom of Heaven in the very spot where their ego says it is absent and there is something that needs to be fixed.
It is the misperception in you, which causes you to be unable to see the Kingdom of Heaven, that needs to be corrected or released, and that is all. You have no comprehension of the impact that one Individuality waking up has on everyone else, who is trying to continue to sleep and dream beyond dawn. The people you would help are what you see from within your dream. To the degree that you rouse yourself from the dream and do not actively engage in any of the dynamics of the dream, you lessen the density of the sleep that the rest are engaged in, and that is what is helpful beyond your imagination.
QUESTION: Is giving a book to someone that I think would help them, or telling them, "listen to the Raj tapes," or telling them, "you need a 12-step program," contributing to the dream, really?
RAJ: If the motivation for the action is what emerges out of being in touch with your Self, that is healing. If it emerges out of a zealousness, a motive in your head to save the world, it may or may not be helpful. As I indicated, if the money changers had been whipped out of the temple the week before, it would not have had the impact or the meaning. So it isn't the book, or the set of tapes, or the particular words on them. It is whether those words, those tapes, being in the hands of a particular individual at a particular time, actually constitute what will trigger awakening.
So, you cannot, like Johnny Appleseed, just wander around the country spreading the seeds of truth -- or whatever you've conceived to be the seeds of truth -- and expect the world to change. You will find, if you will listen, that there will be times when, to your best educated sense, a certain thing is needed by a person, and you will inquire within, and find that it is not the fullness of time, it is not the point at which that individual is at the threshold of discovery which what you would give them would trigger.
QUESTION: I wanted to know about the money changers -- back to those guys. I know that that occurred at the perfect time and I understand everything that you said, Raj. But I wannt to know, were there people during that time, who thought that you were a fool or a rebel or a zealot? Or, weren't there people whose egos were aroused? I mean, what was their reaction? I never actually heard what the reaction of the money changers was. Did they want to chase you or hurt you? Were they just dumbfounded or -- that's something that confuses me. When one follows one's inner voice, aren't there going to be people who react in a variety of ways that may be violent or may not? How do we have any control over that?
RAJ: You must understand that the accounting in your Bible is inaccurate, in that I did not whip them out of the temple. There was no physical violence against them. However, I certainly did put on a good show in terms of the overturning of tables, and what they would have considered ranting and raving, even though the expressions were truths that convicted them -- not in the sense of judgment, but in the sense of registering in them at a deep level.
Now, it did not cause them to cease to be there indefinitely. But a critical point had been made which consciously registered with everyone involved, and it indeed laid a groundwork for that principle to remain alive, you might say, down through the centuries, and contribute to the clarity of those looking for clarity. There were two or three of the money changers who never returned, and conducted their business elsewhere.
But understand that the expression of truth that arises out of one's Soul is never just a local event, which is another reason that what has been called "the fullness of time" comes into play. And from your ego level, there is no way to know when the fullness of time is, or even what it is that needs to appropriately be done. The expression of truth, and even the faintest glimmering of the perception of it by those to whom it has been expressed, is felt by every individuality who exists, whether awake or not, and continues to reverberate down the halls of time as long as time is still believed in.
QUESTION: So when you threw over the tables, you weren't really doing it for them. You were doing it for your own -- what you were talking about earlier -- awakening?
RAJ: No, the awakening as you put it had already occurred. There simply was nothing else that was more appropriate to be or do at the moment. I did not sit and plan it for a week. Three minutes before it happened I had no idea that it would happen. And while it was happening, shall I say, the happening just flowed, because I was in tune -- in touch with and in the flow of Being.
To respond to the other part of the question, no one turned on me or attempted to chase me away because all who heard what came out of my mouth felt its truth, even though it did not permanently alter their behavior.
QUESTION: You told me last time to not offer help unless someone asked for it, and I wondered how you thought about that in terms of things that couldn't ask for help, like if a fly gets caught in your house and is buzzing up against the window, you know? At what point do you open the window and let it out. I know that probably sounds like, well, "Use common sense." But I'm talking about -- like when I see trees being cut, if I should move to action, even though they have no way to ask me.
RAJ: Again, it is a matter of listening on the spot.
QUESTION: I just can't get away from that, can I?
RAJ: You see, you want to simplify it by getting a yes or no that will tell you how to behave under all circumstances. The only way you can know how to behave under all circumstances is if you are paying attention at the time. It sounds like a great deal more work to pay that much attention that consistently. But what appears to be work is really a matter of constantly experiencing your Integrity, which is fulfilling and therefore doesn't constitute work.
It is far more work for you to fumble around in the dark, to try to function out from ignorance. That constitutes real stress. But it is what you are familiar with. What you are not familiar with is the stress-free nature of being in touch at every moment and simply flowing with your Self. It takes much more effort to keep your eyes closed, so that you cannot see the Kingdom of Heaven clearly, than it does to relax your eyes and let them flop open.
Being a Helper
Personality vs. Individuality
QUESTION: A problem that I have is that I tend to be a "helper." I tend to be a people-pleaser. And my ego likes to use the Course in Miracles to convince me that that's what I should do. What I read recently in the Course is that the Bible said that you should go twice as far with a brother as he asks. We talked before about how, because my father was such a bad alcoholic, I've been conditioned to take on other people's problems and responsibilities. I think what I need to do is to set limits with people. I don't know what the Course is trying to tell me.
RAJ: [Raj referred to the events in Acts 3:1-7, wherein a beggar of alms, lame from birth, begged of Peter and John. Peter replied, "Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk." The result was healing.]
You must understand that help is not that which continues to promote the need for help. And yet, that is generally what the "helper" in you attempts to do. When you attempt to not ruffle feathers, but to please people, you are really pleasing the ego. But, if you are coming from your clear awareness of the divinity, and ultimately the Christ-hood, of the one you would help, you will do that which promotes the triggering of the awareness of that divinity in the one you would help. And that is the true meaning of going twice as far as you have been asked by the one needing help.
It has been said that the best charity is to show a person that he does not need charity. That is going "twice as far as you have been asked to go." What you want is to be the clarity that dissolves the need for help, and this sometimes means being completely unwilling to cooperate with the attempts at manipulation by those who are playing the role of being weak. It sometimes means not being what would be called loving, and being truly loving in a way that shakes that individual out of his or her rut.
So, you will find it helpful, when you come across one who pulls at your heartstrings, and who you feel inclined to help, to hesitate just a moment to ask yourself who or what it is you are helping. Are you helping an ego to be a better ego? Or are you acknowledging an essential divinity there, and then attempting to do whatever needs to be done to bring that divinity into clearer focus? That will set you on a new tack, a new attitude or direction, which will cause your responses to be different -- responses, which will not allow you to be sucked into being the victim of a skillful manipulator.
Those who elicit help are expressing their authority negatively, and as a result, are unaware of the authority they have. And therefore see themselves as powerless when, in fact, it takes a great deal of power to cause the world to reconfigure around them so as to help them in their "helplessness." This is important to understand.
In your helping, you do not want to promote ongoing ignorance, but rather revelation and clarity. And you will be better fitted to do that when you do not identify the "helpee" as powerless, but rather as an unconscious Christ, who needs to wake up to his or her divinity.
You see, true help reinstates, or reactivates consciously, the Integrity within the one asking for the help. Help that promotes the problem is help which posits you as the one with Integrity, proffering benefits upon one who does not, and this does not uncover the Integrity of that one, and therefore leaves him or her stuck in his or her ignorance. And although everyone around might define you as a generous and loving and caring person if you provided that one with help that left him poor, the fact is that that is not help at all.
QUESTION: Am I making any progress?
RAJ: You are. But you, at the same time, feel like you are becoming hard-hearted, and that is a dynamic you will have to move through, because what you are inclined to feel is loving is not transformational love, but ego.
Not even I can take on someone else's problem. I do not even try. But, I can illustrate to you the authority you have to be self-responsible. I am aware that I cannot make you do anything, and so I do not labor under the idea that I have failed if you do not become self-responsible. That is your choice. That is everyone's choice. And the sooner everyone communicates to another an unwillingness to take responsibility for that "other," the sooner each one will stop playing the game of "poor me," because there will be no payoff.
QUESTION: It's helpful that I can see all these dynamics now. I couldn't see it before. I feel like I have to change my whole personality. It feels overwhelming.
RAJ: It is not a matter of needing to change your personality. You simply need to let it go, because, as you let it go, you will find your already-existing Individuality. You are learning, here, about your own Integrity, as well. You see, each one, if I may put it this way, must walk into the Kingdom of Heaven under his or her own steam. Each one must open up to the clearer perception of Reality by virtue of an inner choice and decision. No one can get into the experience of conscious perfection on another's shoulders, because that would state an incompetence on the person's part who rode in on the shoulders, and that one would never feel that he or she truly deserved to be experiencing Heaven.
Put another way, each one must yield to the Father's Will consciously. Each one must set aside the ego sense of Self on purpose, else the awakening process would not occur consciously, and if it does not occur consciously, it does not occur at all.
As you begin to see that your conscious choices to value what you divinely Are and devalue your ego sense of yourself are what promote your greater clarity and your awakening, and you experience the Value or the Meaning of such conscious choice-making within yourself, you won't dream of depriving another of that same inner process by implying that you could do some of it for that person.
So, do not look at this as though you are going to have to overhaul your personality. Understand that personality is the ego sense of Self. Your divinity, your Christ-hood, your Individuality, is what is already present underneath this mask of "personality." You are making a shift from personality to Individuality.
You are in the process, to the very best of your ability, of letting go of the ego sense. You might say that the overhaul is already occurring, but it amounts to an undoing, rather than the doing of some major accomplishment. Do not envision this as a "great deal of work ahead of you." It is simply a matter of coming into a clearer sense of your own already-existing Integrity, and therefore, a clearer realization of the already-existing Integrity of your fellow man, which will cause you to treat your fellow man with greater respect, and in a new way. But the coming about of the "new way" will not be strenuous.
Mind you, this is not a process of revamping the ego into a more divine form. It is a process of releasing the ego altogether.
In the Eye of the Beholder
QUESTION: I realize that our essence is love and that that's the essence of all living beings. And I have a hard time because I want to love people and yet I see people do things that I think are destructive, whether it is the earth, to themselves, to each other. And I know in some New Age philosophies it gets to a point of, "Oh, surround them with light, and see them as the Christ." So I guess I'm saying, do I see the being as love and separate the actions of that being from that love, or do I just check with my Being as to what's appropriate, without criticizing or judging them? I don't know how to interact with them.
RAJ: I cannot say this strongly enough: You are seeing what you are looking with! Again, you must ask yourself what does this experience have to do with my waking up? Why am I having this experience of these people doing these things with this attitude, etc., which gets my goat? Their behavior is putting you up against your threshold, your limit, which it is time for you to move through and be clear about. And I guarantee you that the moment you become clear within yourself and thus have expanded your experience of your Integrity, you will not be confronted by those people doing those things with that particular attitude which gets your goat. You are the focal point because there is truly only one job at hand, and that is your return to your full Sanity.
Being the Christ
QUESTION: I spent a lot of time thinking of ways to replant trees, and starting an organization called Decade of the Forest to get people to raise their consciousness about forests and replant the forests for the next ten years. And now I don't know if that is coming from my Being or if it's just something that I'm fixated on that I need to…
RAJ: You are becoming filled with appreciation and valuing and love for the earth. But, you see, in coming out of the ego frame of reference, you are conditioned to be a doer. When you learn something new or discover something new, you need to do it, and you need to do it to the world, whether it is to share the good news or to disagree with what isn't good.
I encourage you to embrace this love, this feeling in you that you have opened up to, and feel it. But don't use the feeling as a measuring stick with which to judge others. Let your behavior be modified by virtue of your embracing and feeling this new valuing of the earth. You treat it out of your love that you are feeling more strongly.
Now, we have kept pretty close to a main theme today, that being not allowing what constitutes increasing inner clarity to become translated into actions to be carried out in the world to change the world. But rather understanding that what is happening has to do with your regaining your Sanity. It is rather like the inmates in an insane asylum wanting to get better so that they can improve the way they are cared for -- to get the staff to do things differently -- when, in actuality, getting better would mean they would be released from the circumstance that they see as needing improvement. You've got the point.
QUESTION: But I thought the Christian act was to go and make it better for the other inmates who were still sick!
What's the difference between the yogi who sits in the cave and meditates while people are starving all around him? What's the difference between the Christ in action, which is the loving Christ that is sharing or comforting the poor or…
RAJ: But you see, the Christ isn't "comforting the poor." The Christ is being appropriate at the moment. And sometimes the Christ is being compassionate, and tender, and supportive, because that is what fulfills Purpose, that is what triggers clarification. And at other times the Christ is unyielding, as hard as nails, because that, rather than tenderness, is what will promote clarification. And so the Christ is not being "any one thing in particular." The Christ is being the presence of That which is transformational, healing. The Christ you described is a wimp, all sweetness and light, one who is trying to be Christ-like, fitting a concept, not paying attention within and allowing himself to be the presence of God -- in this case, being the presence of that which promotes Sanity.
I have indicated before that being the presence of Love, being willing to recognize that which is Real in each and every thing means not joining at the level of the ego where the ego still seems to be operating. And that means not cooperating with those who would use you, because if you cooperate and play into that game you reinforce the game, you reinforce the ego. And so the Christ says "No. I refuse to participate with you. I refuse to participate with this activity. I refuse to join in with that attitude."
Under these circumstances, the Christ does not come across as warm and compassionate and friendly. If you are indulging in a belief that is invalid, one which you have a great deal of feeling for, one which you are very familiar with, one you have learned to cope with well, and you express that belief, you will find that I will point out its falsity, so as to set you free from the bondages of that belief. And yet, if it is a cherished belief, you are likely not to like what I am saying. Yet, I will not change my position, because I will not join you in reaffirming your bondage. You get the picture.
Source of Anger
QUESTION: I have strong feelings of anger, and a desire to destroy or hurt people. Can you tell me where that came from?
RAJ: It does not come from any specific incident in your life, but it arises as a result of assuming that you must do what everyone else thinks you ought to do, or what the "system" thinks you ought to do. When you are not coming from your heart, when you are not acting from your Integrity, the only possible result can be being angry at everything that is not letting you be you. And yet, the world is not stopping you. It is rather like you riding the merry-go-round and never reaching for the brass ring, even though it is there to reach for.
In other words, if you will honor your Self, and if you will act out from your own feeling of your own Value, and dare to be you, then the anger will leave, because you will not feel frustrated and you will not feel inclined to "get even" for the frustration.
You have been sacrificing yourself for the sake of popular opinion. I do not mean that you have tried to be popular, but you have gone against the grain of your Being in order to fit in, and the necessity is for you to make the contribution of You, and not squelch it for the sake of the "system."
The moment you begin to be genuinely You and let the chips fall where they may, the anger will leave and the inclination to hurt or be retaliatory will dissolve.
Sacrificing Integrity is not Exalting
QUESTION: What's on my mind right now is my living situation at the boarding house I'm living in. The nine-year old boy who has moved in with his mother is...I will call him disturbed. He has been sexually molested by his father, who he doesn't see any more. He acts out of anger in a violent way, and he had been in the house before with a loaded gun, which he shot. I've seen his anger right on the surface. It's not harmonious for me, but my guidance says it's not time to leave. So, I need help on this.
RAJ: You are not helpless. You are not in a position of poverty or lack that requires you to tolerate or be subjected to lack of wisdom, unintelligence. And your Being is not incapable of unfolding that which identifies and expresses intelligence.
Do not sacrifice your Integrity in the name of spiritual growth, because that is like talking about dry water. Do not allow yourself to become intellectually confused here. I would suggest that you start being alert for the manifestation of intelligence, and that which identifies your Integrity. And do not hold yourself to an unintelligent operation for the sake of some "wonderful spiritual growth" to be gleaned from it. Give yourself permission to experience your growth gracefully instead of boldly, with strain and stress.
Never assume that you are in such a yielding position that it can become appropriate to not recognize unintelligence and forsake your common sense, and then tolerate the flagrant expression of unintelligence as though this will in some way exalt you. And don't ever assume that "the divine powers that be" will set up such a circumstance for your spiritual growth. The divine powers that be set up intelligent and harmonious and recognizably fulfilling experiences of Being. So, I encourage you to open your eyes and give permission for the manifestation of intelligence and harmony and peace.
Money, employment, a home of your own, transportation of your own, a position of some respect, are not essential to your experience of your Integrity. And how much or how little of those things you have will be a reflection of the degree of your Integrity that you honor.
Now, I am aware that there are those who have an abundance of those things, who do not have integrity. What I am saying is, that when you find your Integrity to be intact without those things, then, no matter how much or how little of those things you have, integrity and harmony and order and love will be recognizably present. And you will tend to find those things, which identify fulfillment in form being present in your experience because they identify fulfillment of Purpose, not because they identify your Integrity.
Whether you have a car to leave that place in or not, whether you have a dollar to leave that place with or not, your Integrity is unalterable and present. So, you may appropriately expect to see the evidence of that Integrity as a place to live where no one is brandishing a gun, or expressing anger, or complaining, or generally expressing negativity.
It is not appropriate to justify the absence of these things on the basis that their absence is somehow going to exalt you. That is just exactly what the ego would love, because its task is to justify the "wisdom" of being unconscious of the Presence of God as all!
I am not calling your guidance into question. But, I encourage you to inquire of your guidance whether or not it was allowing you to find out just how unexalting subjecting yourself to this environment would be. And I am not overriding your guidance by speaking out of turn, here.
I encourage you, tomorrow morning, to wake up wide-eyed and bushy-tailed and explore the evidence of that which identifies Integrity.
QUESTION: I have been offered an opportunity to house-sit in two weeks, which seems like quite a joyful opportunity for me. Would you comment on that, especially in terms of what you've just been talking about?
RAJ: How willing are you going to be to tolerate unintelligence for two weeks? That which identifies intelligence and fulfillment is available at this instant! Don't sit there and think, "Ah, my salvation is only two weeks away." Just open up to it. You don't have to create it. Just be willing to acknowledge it and receive it, now. Life is on your side. Life is on the side of intelligence, harmony. Your Being is on the side of your fulfillment, and it is not at a distance from you, although it is ongoing.
Now, this does not call for judgment on those around you. But it does call for an unwillingness on your part to sacrifice your Integrity and to ignore the Integrity of Life and justify Its absence for any reason. To justify Its absence simply means closing your eyes a little bit harder. It doesn't change the presence of Reality just on the other side of those eyelids.
Think to be Heard of God
Speak to be Heard of Men
The "Human Condition"
[The following questions and answers are from the Hillsboro, Oregon Workshop, Weekend with Raj, held June 18-19, 1988.]
QUESTION: Tomorrow morning, when I get up, I'm going to take my excitement and exuberance to work. And at 6:30, the first thing I'm going to encounter is a sales meeting where I will be asked to make forecasts, projections, and goals. If my response to that is, "Well, we're not going to have any forecasts, projections, or goals. Let's just see what unfolds today and this week" -- if that's going to be my response, I'm probably going to be up a big creek without a paddle. Can you please help me with thhis conflict? I need a massive amount of clarity.
RAJ: There are times when you must render unto Caesar the things that are Caesar's. There are times you must speak to be heard of men and think to be heard of God. If you do not wish to function within the arena of goals and forecasts, and if you wish to function in the Now, respond to the Now, then you will need to disengage yourself from this particular employment, or this particular company, and find a company that is willing to work in the Now.
I agree that there are not many. And therefore you must learn to, shall I say, live a double role. You must speak to be heard of men and think the Truth.
Now, it is not necessary for you to go in tomorrow morning and resent the fact that you must speak to be heard of men, as though that constitutes a distraction from your "thinking to be heard of God." It is love to be able to translate Truth into the language that can be understood. Do you think that I am speaking absolute Truth? Do you think that I am not accommodating you and speaking in language that you can comprehend, while at the same time triggering your capacity to be aware beyond your present language of perception? Do you think the Course is ultimate Truth? It isn't. It speaks of Awakening. Do Christs need to be awakened? When you experience being totally awakened, the Course will be a book of nonsense. It is language that registers with you where you are, and triggers your movement beyond where you are.
Your organization firmly believes that it is intelligent to have forecasts and goals and plans for meeting the goals and checks to see whether the goals are being met efficiently, et cetera. And they lock themselves into that, and it does blind them to the movement of fulfillment that constitutes the actual identity of the business. But, you do not need to function, within yourself, on those terms, even though you can translate your clarity into those terms for them. And, again, you must not quibble or grouse about having to do the translation. Doing the translation is an act of love. It is meeting your brother where your brother is.
So, you be practical tomorrow morning and you give them their goals. You give them what they want. But, you, yourself, stay present in the Now right through that meeting, and if there is insight right in that meeting pertinent to what is going on in that meeting, share it. You can be current in the Now, even if you are relating to others in the language of their perception. Is that not what being the Christ means?
If you had the means to always be clean, always be comfortable and cool, let us say, how would you react if you had to walk the dusty roads of Galilee, and get sweaty and dirty, and answer incessant questions expressing ignorance? Let us say, if you had the opportunity to experience Heaven, as whatever you might conceive Heaven to be, but this was what was in front of you, what would you do? Opt for your comfort? Or would you opt for your brother, and hold yourself to a pattern that was recognizable to your brother so that communication could occur?
There is nothing in the "human condition" that constitutes being asked too much in order to be the presence of clarity, the presence of Truth, to and with your brother. Don't resent "the human condition." It is the laboratory in which your Christhood comes forth more clearly, and it is the laboratory in which your brother's Christhood comes through more clearly. And whether it is a job with certain protocols, or whether it is a relationship with certain established protocols, or whether it is a relationship that has no protocols and therefore is not defined by others as a legitimate relationship, you are faced with the "human condition," the laboratory in which the opportunity to discover the Christhood of everyone involved exists to be discovered.
It is a very valuable thing to remember that you must speak to be heard of men if you wish to have communication, and you must think to be heard of God if you wish for there to be communion. And in the presence of those two seemingly inconsistent states, create the bridge of Love, of compassion, of willingness within you so that the "human condition" can yield to the divine Actuality as a result of someone daring and caring to love, to make the translation.
Source of Evil
QUESTION: I would like help to better understand what you said about the "human condition being a laboratory of opportunity to experience our Christhood" in conjunction with "there are no accidents" or preplanning or fate. What I personally feel is a blistering anger toward what I perceive as evil, and this anger has, I've felt, perhaps not healed me, but carried me through times of crisis.
I think that I would like to abandon this fierceness that I feel, but I'm afraid that if I lose that fight inside of me, I will become vulnerable. I won't be protected and safe any more. I know "when to cross the street in this world." I would like to know how I can learn to forgive and embrace the rapist and the murderer that live down the street or right next door. I think I try to accept that the Father doesn't want these painful experiences to happen to us. But, how can I take authority or responsibility for something that is not my fault?
RAJ: Evil is disowned Good. Problems are resisted Good. I will say it again a different way. Evil is disowned God, and problems are denied God.
Now, to the ego, the presence of the Christ is evil, because the presence of the Christ-consciousness, the Christ-awareness brings the clarity that dissolves the faith one has developed in his or her ego. And, of course, the ego sees its demise as "bad," and whatever brings about its demise as "evil." It is a case of the pot calling the kettle black.
If you are not in a position of acknowledging your divinity, where does your divinity go? It doesn't go anywhere. It remains present as You. And because it is present as You, and because its presence constitutes your Integrity, then it is constantly asserting itself against the false limits that you have imposed, and the ego -- the limited sense of yourself that you are entertaining -- sees that insistence as the presence of an evil force. That is wwhy the ego suggests that as you begin to desire to access your divinity and lean into it, or yield to the Father within you, that you are being irrational, unreasonable, and expressing an unsound mind.
You are familiar with the phrase, "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." The ego calls out the police to get rid of the intruder!
Whatever part of your divinity you are unwilling to embrace becomes your opponent, because It does not stand still, It does not remain silent. It is the Activity of your Being, and therefore, in Its Activity It pushes against whatever limits you are imposing upon yourself, thus threatening you/your ego's attempts to maintain a separated sense of self.
When you resist your Being, when you resist Reality, when you resist God, the presence of God, the presence of your divine Being continues to push. If you get angry at it, upset at it, you misinterpret the presence of your Good as a more and more threatening evil. You can see that an opposition is set up and energized. You cannot do this; you cannot act in a split way, and feel your Integrity or be comfortable. This creates inner tension. And this begins to distort your experience of Body. And the result is an experience of disease -- an experience, which will disappear the moment you begin to withdraw your opposition to your conscious experience of your ddivinity. In this respect, you can see how you can be responsible for your diseases physically speaking.
When you observe your world, or your fellow man, and you say, "This is not God," does it stop being God? Absolutely not. But, if you insist upon defining your world as "simply a physical world in a physical universe, that is a result of a physical Big Bang, and everything is the result of random chance," you will not be able to help feeling vulnerable, because you will have no basis for embracing the idea of unity of expression infinitely expressed.
So, you will divide your world -- and you do divide your world up -- into "me" and "not-me." And you, because of your feeling of vulnerability, will ddetermine that what is "not-me" is potentially threatening, and you will begin to behave as though it is your enemy. In your denial of the God in it, you will create for yourself the absence of the experience of integrity and harmony in your world. Your very antagonistic stance, itself, will begin to elicit antagonistic responses -- which is perfectly reasonable, except that you won't think you're being antagonistic, and therefore you will interpret the antagonistic response as unreasonable, which increases your hostility.
Your world reflects back to you your fundamental premise until you find yourself being a victim of harassment, a victim of thoughtlessness, a victim of aggression, et cetera, all the way from simple disturbances to rape and murder, as you say.
What does it mean to forgive the rapist or the murderer, as you put it, who lives down the street or next door? What is forgiveness? Is it saying, "I love you, no matter how ugly your behavior is?" Or, is forgiveness your replacement of your fundamental division of the world into "you" and "not-you" with an awareness that it is all one, and a growing curiosity, as I have said all weekend, to discern the unity that is there?
Isn't the forgiveness the withdrawal of the fundamental judgment that you have made on the world, or on your fellow man -- that judgment that was there before this person ever came into your experience? Isn't the forgiveness the willingness on yoour part to discern the Christ that has to be there first, before there can be a distorted experience of It?
Now, I will tell you something. If you are going to resort to judgment on your world, which is an antagonistic act, you are going to get judgmental, or most certainly judgeable responses from your world that will seem to justify your fundamental judgment -- and you are caught in a trap, a squirrel cage, as it were.
But, I will tell you: If you will replace that fundamental judgment with a loving willingness to discern the unity of All That Is, one of three things will happen. Either you will find yourself removed from the neighborhood where the murderer and the rapist live, or they will move from the neighborhood, or your experience of them will be transformed, and it will be said that there was a marvelous miracle. But, one way or another, the confrontation of evil will cease in your experience, and you will not be contributing, by virtue of your judgment, to the negative reflection coming back from your world. It does all lie with you. Your experience of your world depends entirely on what your stance relative to it is going to be.
As long as you maintain the fundamental judgment against the world, it is not going to seem reasonable to forgive or let go of the anger. So, to a certain degree, you are going to have to dare to risk the chance that God is all and reverse the fundamental false judgment, just to see what happens.
The further away you get from your awareness of the unity of All That Is, the more the negative feedback you will experience. And this is because the unity of it all continues to be unified! And that unified unity is your own Integrity, which continues to be the Christ whether you are claiming to be a private ego or not. So, the negativity is the call for clarity -- not the call for attack, not the call for judgment, but the call for a shift within you, which has been called "forgivenesss." That means you must withdraw your condemnation.
Forgiveness doesn't have anything to do with what someone else does or doesn't do. Forgiveness is the withdrawal of your false judgment that causes you to experience the Kingdom of Heaven as though it is a conflicted human experience -- which was referred to as the "human condition." But, it is the Kingdom of Heaven, which is being experienced falsely as "thhe human condition", and therefore the human condition is where you must find the Kingdom of Heaven. That is why it is the laboratory, and that is why "here" is the only place there is for you to forgive and thereby allow yourself to have the experience of Reality.
I know it sounds like a tall order, and it comes back to this fundamental point of trust. From an emerging Christ, coming out of an ego standpoint, it feels like a risk. And that is why there is a word called "trust" and "faith," because there must be something to describe the act of giving up, of forgiving, of relinquishing a fundamental false judgment, because that false judgment seems totally justifiable to the ego. And as long as it is justifiable, the ego continues to exist, and you continue to be bound in an ignorant, distorted experience of something that is absolutely beautiful -- the Kingdom of Heaven.
At the bottom line, it is the Kingdom of Heaven that is the laboratory, but if it were being experienced as the Kingdom of Heaven, we wouldn't need to use the word "laboratory," because there would be nothing to work out of.
So, the Kingdom of Heaven, when it is being experienced as "the human condition" is describable as a laboratory for learning the Truth. Your "hard knocks," are literally your hard knocks, specifically tailored to you by your divinity and your particular resistance to it, and it is always a call for clarity.
Conversations with Raj is made up of actual questions and answers drawn, with permission, from private conversations with Raj and public Workshops. Rajpur, an Ascended Master, is an Individuality making himself known by means of conscious channeling through Paul Norman Tuttle for the purpose of facilitating the major shift of consciousness which mankind is entering into.
Conversations with Raj is published monthly by ESTAR Foundation, 1221 Toledo St., Bellingham, WA 98226. Phone: 206-734-4418. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $36.00; single copy $3.00. Copyright Ó 1988 by ESTAR Foundation. All rights reserved.