CONVERSATONS WITH RAJ

FEBRUARY 1988

VOL. 5, NO. 2

 

 

Figuring out Solutions

Source of the Ego

Victimization

 

QUESTION: My question is how to figure out what kind of career to go into when I have so many choices?

 

RAJ: I am going to encourage you to let go of trying to figure it out. I am going to encourage you to understand that entirely separate and apart from the level of "figuring out," your very Being is already moving and is already bringing the elements together to become manifest as the next step. If you will dare to simply be observant and alert to what naturally and logically unfolds -- not as a result of your thinking logically, but as a result of naturalness -- you will find every step unfolding perrfectly flawlessly.

 

The necessity, in order to do that, is for you to grasp the fact that the orderliness of Unfoldment is already set into motion at a level that is not available to your reasoning, but is at the level of your essential Being. And It is drawing upon resources that are not limited to any of the things that you are aware of, or any of the things that you are conditioned to believe would constitute a block.

 

I encourage you to relax and lean into your Being. In doing so, you will find movement beginning -- movement that you are not personally causing. It will simply become obvious to you what to do next, whether it is someone ccalling you and asking you for something that you have to give, or many people calling you and asking you for something that you have to give -- people you didn't have to call to say, "Hey, I'm here to give it."

 

The first step is to realize that at an intellectual conscious level, you are not responsible, and there is a need for you not to get into figuring out what to do next. You must be willing to listen -- which means to become still, and in becoming still, become better in alignment with what your Being is unfolding, so that iit can become obvious to you. The solution is simplicity, itself, but you are going to have to trust your Being.

 

QUESTION: I've certainly been working a lot on that, and I guess I get a little concerned when others are involved -- specifically my current boss. I know that if I leave, it's going to be very hard to replace me. Maybe I shouldn't worry aboout those things.

 

RAJ: It is an egotistical assumption. You do not know what his Being is going to unfold for the identification of fulfillment. And you must realize that his Being is not limited by three-dimensional circumstances any more than yours is. Release him from that projected sense of limitation, and understand that when you are acting in harmony or congruence with your Integrity, it blesses everyone. It does not cost others.

 

QUESTION: I see all kinds of trust issues here that are just banging all over the place, since I haven't found my Self to be very trustworthy.

 

RAJ: But I am not encouraging you to trust into that self that hasn't been very trustworthy.

 

QUESTION: I'm talking about the Self. It's the one that got me caught on the earth. It's the one that got me caught in Maya. And that's why I don't trust! I mean, something created the ego in the first place.

 

RAJ: It was not your Self. I will tell you that.

 

QUESTION: If the Self is all there is, how did the self get created?

 

RAJ: Fourth-dimensional Conscious Being is constituted of a four-dimensional "environment." It is possible to move into the three-dimensional frame of reference, or the two-dimensional frame of reference, or the one-dimensional frame of reference and view Reality from within those "dimensions."

 

The process of moving into the three-dimensional frame of reference constitutes a limit, a finiteness to the experience of Reality. Part of that involves a feeling of not being the infinite presence in which Reality is going on, but one in which one experiences oneself as a small part of that infinity. That is the beginning of a deluded or incorrect perception of Reality that can become binding and cause one to forget that the infinite frame of reference is available and natural to her.

 

At the same time, one cannot "forget" without experiencing a dissonance or an uneasiness, because what one divinely Is does not cease to be what It is, and so the partial view is dissonant by comparison.

 

The perception of Reality that occurs from within the three-dimensional frame of reference builds up a sense of identity based upon the misperceptions and the sense of isolation and separation, and that is what comes to be identified as the ego.

 

You are, and you have been for quite some time -- and I mean a number of lifetimes -- in the process of reaccessing your Fourth-dimensional Conscious experience of Being. This lifetime does not constitute having been plunged into a limit that you were not in prior to this lifetime. It constitutes an ongoing part of your movement out of, and release from, the limits of the three-dimensional frame of reference. And the movement out is occurring because the divinity of you has ascendance over the deluded personal ego sense of yourself, and has for a long time.

 

QUESTION: Can I slow that process down with my ego? What can my ego do?

 

RAJ: It can only seem to distract you from the process of Awakening. By creating doubt or mistrust or fear, it can seem to delay.

 

QUESTION: I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know what to do the most of. Is it work hard, or forget work and live poorly? There are so many choices, and I want this process more than anything. I found that it felt like I needed to stay, to really be on this planet, to really live the life of this planet. Is that true?

 

RAJ: Let me put it this way: "Here" is truly the Kingdom of Heaven. You are not here to live "the life of this planet" on its basis. When you say "the life of this planet," you have a concept of what that means. Then you, if you are going to live the life of this planet, must conform to whatever that concept is.

 

The necessity is to begin to at least intellectually be aware that what you are calling "the life of this planet" is really an incomplete perception of the Kingdom of Heaven. In that realization, you will withdraw your investment in the concept of "life of this planet" and begin to be curious to experience Reality, or the Kingdom of Heaven, right here where "the life of this planet" seems to be well-established style of life.

 

You don't have anyplace else to go to learn this, because wherever you are, you will have this concept to consciously release, and you will see that part of the Kingdom of Heaven in exactly the same limited way you are experiencing this part of the Kingdom of Heaven. There is no point in talking about "staying here" or "going somewhere else," because the only place there is is somewhere in the middle of the Kingdom of Heaven.

 

The real necessity is to stay where you are and begin to let that curiosity to see beyond the current limits grow in you, because that is what will pierce the illusion. Here is where to discover Reality. Here is where you are to be delighted to be, because there is as much opportunity to wake up here as anywhere else. So, there is much to embrace in the sense of it being the full opportunity for waking up, whether it is at the job you are currently doing, or something else that your Being unfolds.

 

The point is that you want to begin to grasp that it is the movement of the Life-Principle, the Father, being the Kingdom of Heaven, that is going on and appearing as "life on this planet" at the moment. But, because it is the movement of the Father, and not "life on this planet" as it is currently perceived, you have always the opportunity to discover the truth right in the middle of the illusion. So, every avenue that you could go on is an avenue that presents the same opportunity…

 

QUESTION: The same opportunity?

 

RAJ:the same opportunity to discover Reality right in the middle of it!

 

This means that you are not confronted with a choice between right and wrong, success and failure, of hitting the mark or missing the mark. It's not a test, because whatever direction you allow things to unfold in will provide the opportunity for waking up equal to any other avenue. On that basis, now, you can begin to dare to just pay attention deeply within to what feels appropriate for you, because one will not be a mistake while another will be a success, and if you don't choose correctly you will miss out.

 

QUESTION: I guess I still have some of that going on. I keep getting into the issue of victimhood. How does one take complete self-responsibility when everybody around him is a victim?

 

RAJ: By whose definition?

 

QUESTION: Well, they're playing the "victim" game. They're into heavy fear, "poor me." Am I projecting that because it's in my environment?

 

RAJ: Are you seeing yourself as a victim?

 

QUESTION: Sometimes. Sometimes I realize that I did it.

 

RAJ: You cannot be responsible for the way someone else sees himself. But you can be responsible for how you choose to see yourself. I will tell you this: It is going to take more and more individuals not playing the role of victim to lighten the density that makes it reasonable for everyone else to think that they are a victim. Somebody is going to have to let go of that concept of self and connect with his or her invulnerability, and begin to live it joyfully even if everyone around him or her is claiming victimhood.

 

QUESTION: That's what I do the majority of the time. Then, all of a sudden, it seems like all the victims around me pull my energy down, and I find myself playing victim.

 

RAJ: They are not pulling your energy down. They are simply uncovering vestiges or remnants of your sense of victimhood that still need to be swept out the door. So, it is a favor! It is not the world's fault. It is their service to you in uncovering your further freedom by disclosing the little bit of garbage that is left which is keeping you from experiencing your freedom wholly.

 

When you join in, you join in from some inner place of agreement. And that inner place of agreement was there before you were invited to join, else you would never have heard the invitation.

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Equality

Role of Excitement

Emotions/Feelings

 

QUESTION: Why do I feel I need a partner in business? Why do I keep putting off starting my own business?

 

RAJ: In your case, it is a reluctance to acknowledge your sovereignty, your Wholeness. It is a requirement not necessary to be fulfilled. In other words, it is not actually a requirement. It is a way of avoiding moving forward in your own right and experiencing that you are a whole-souled woman -- or should I say a whole-souled Individuality.

 

QUESTION: Then it would be in my best interest to start a business?

 

RAJ: Let me put it this way: It is in your best interest not to withhold the flow of your love. It is in your best interest not to squelch what is moving in you because certain unnecessary requirements are being overlaid upon your movement.

 

QUESTION: By my self?

 

RAJ: That is absolutely correct, yes.

 

QUESTION: How do I release these? What do I need to tell myself?

 

RAJ: You need to realize that a good idea is not a personal idea. It is not a private creation of a puny little female human being on the planet. Therefore, if you align yourself with it and flow with it and act upon it, the divinity of the idea will be able to manifest itself. There is no reason for you to be so cautious, except that you are playing weak, and you would like to have a partner to fortify your fortitude. But, you see, you don't need fortitude. You simply need the humility to flow with the idea and not squelch it by placing unnecessary requirements on it before you'll act!

 

QUESTION: I act on so many things, and there's some "turn of the screw" that I keep screwing myself with. I act and I act and I act, but somehow I don't act enough.

 

RAJ: I will tell you something. You get excited about your actions. You get enthusiastic, emotional! And this gets you caught up in the emotion of the thing, and that pulls you away from the calm but joyful ability to flow with what is naturally unfolding. The excitement causes the thing that is unfolding divinely and naturally to seem to be special and wonderful, and in your mind this divinely natural event loses its naturalness. You withdraw your attention from its naturalness, carried away on a wave of excitement and emotion around it.

 

In leaving your connectedness with this divine, natural movement of Creation or Love, you find that what you are left with dries up and crumbles. When you leave the Source of a thing and get caught up in the idea of it, what you have can only crumble, because it is not connected with the Source.

 

There is a calm equilibrium with that which unfolds from your Being. Yet that calm equilibrium is not minus joy and the experience of profound Meaning. But when that profound Meaning becomes translated into excitement and specialness, you lose it. Everyone loses it!

 

QUESTION: So, it's not wise to get excited?

 

RAJ: That is correct. Excitement is of the ego, and it always involves an edge of fear. This is one of the reasons it seems difficult to let go of the ego, because it needs another fix of excitement. It suggests that without excitement the Meaning goes out of life. But the point that is overlooked is that in becoming involved in excitement, you disconnect from That which is manifesting Meaning.

 

You must at all times be willing to remain sober. And sober does not mean dull or boring or monotonous. It means having the presence of Mind that allows you to experience the full Meaning of that which is divinely unfolding.

 

Divinity, the presence of that which is divine, can only seem awesome from a limited point of view. The true meaning of "divine Presence" is lost when one becomes overwhelmed with how divine it is, because one is not experiencing it from a level of equality, but from a finite or limited viewpoint -- in other words, the ego viewpoint.

 

To the degree that the feeling of being overwhelmed, and of the awesomeness of it, occurs, one becomes excited, and that feeds the ego and disengages you from the calm, clear awareness of the natural movement of divinity that is meaningful, but absolutely consistent with your essential Self. Because it is absolutely consistent with your Self, it is not special, although it is Meaningful.

 

QUESTION: I have a lot of emotional feelings. I have a lot of anger. I have a lot of drama. What can I do with all of those emotions? Do I need to just give them up? Do I need to cleanse them, understand them? What do I do with them? What are they for?

 

RAJ: Let me put it this way: They do expose to you the broad spectrum of your capacity to feel. You are in a healthier position than someone who has blocked her feelings and experiences only a very limited range, and does not grasp the breadth and the depth of her ability to respond to life. So, I do not want you to put down the feelings as valueless.

 

The key truly is the recognition of the scope of your ability to respond to life.

 

Now, to the degree that you take time to become still and listen within, and you feel the calm, sober, but Meaningful appropriateness of movement in a certain direction, or of something to do, realize that your experience of the Meaning is happening because your capacity to feel, humanly speaking, isn't significantly blocked. Then, instead of becoming excited about whatever the movement is that it is appropriate for you to take, and instead of becoming awed by how meaningful it is and what kind of impact it is likely to have in the world, and how much it will mean to everybody, and how much it will mean to you -- and on and on and on and on -- let there be an intent to stay with the simple experience of the Meaning and remain true to it.

 

You will find the "hooks" that your world provides to get you excited, not hooking you as significantly. You will find that as you stay attuned soberly to what is unfolding from your deep level of Knowing, you will not find what you are doing turning to ashes in your hand, because you will not have left the Source.

 

Now, I encourage you not to try to weed out all of your feelings, or do anything with them at all. But I do encourage you to honor the deep Knowing that unfolds to you without letting your ego apparently elevate the Meaning to the level of excitement and awesomeness, and of how impactful it will be.

 

You see, when that happens, it is as though you move out of your heart where the movement is being felt, and up into your head, imagining how meaningful and impactful it is going to be in the world. You move into a "picture" of the whole thing, and you become disconnected from the movement, itself. That is what the ego does by means of excitement.

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Femaleness/Maleness

Lonely vs. Alone

 

QUESTION: It seems to me that female energy has been put down on our planet, for whatever reasons -- good ones, or whatever. What does it mean, and why did I choose to be born female? What does that mean for me?

 

RAJ: It means that you are less defended against your Awakening. No matter what the traditional interpretation or sense of femaleness is, it is that aspect which is, shall I say, flexible, pliable, not fixed; sensitive, not insensitive; yielding, not firm; inviting, not declarative; receptive, not aggressive -- in the sense of having so much energy going out that nothing can come in and touch you. That is what it reallly means.

 

QUESTION: I guess I feel a great deal of fear that if I'm female in that sense, that I won't get the rewards -- that somehow the rewards come from being focused and demanding and all of the more male energies -- that the female energy sort of becomes tromped on, as far as this level is concerned.

 

RAJ: The world simply reflects back to you what you choose to believe. As you respect your femaleness, your world will reflect that back, if in no other way than that your femaleness will not be challenged.

 

Now, you must honor your femaleness, your sensitivity, your receptivity, your flexibility, your ability to yield without undue fear. You cannot afford to come under the false concept of masculinity that men are having to come out from under in order to touch into their femininity, so that they may be touched by their Self and may yield to It rather than boldly and arrogantly maintaining their ego-centered masculinity.

 

QUESTION: It's a little more difficult for men?

 

RAJ: It is extremely more difficult for men.

 

QUESTION: It seems like they have more to give up.

 

RAJ: That is correct -- more of a shell.

 

Love yourself right now, right as you are, in all of your femaleness. If you are going to use your masculinity for anything, let it be used to stay in touch with your femininity.

 

Understand that Paul has to stay focused. He uses his will for the purpose of seeing to it that it doesn't come into play. The right use of will is to choose not to use it. That choice must be made, and "will" must be used to not exercise will, so that one may be in the "not-knowing" receptive void where one's Being has the opportunity to register with one. So, focus is not used to control everything. Focus is used to consciously let go of control. And that is the limit of its exercise.

 

QUESTION: So, if I just keep my focus on being female, and the female attributes -- I just have to stick with it and gradually everything will begin to work better.

 

RAJ: But understand that the female attributes are divine and have nothing to do with what males have for centuries defined femaleness as.

 

QUESTION: But the ones you've just described, yes?

 

RAJ: That is correct. As much as males dislike hearing it, the female aspect is the higher aspect.

 

QUESTION: So, I don't need to ask for rewards. That's sort of being "male." I just have to allow them to happen?

 

RAJ: That is correct. And why? Because you are the direct expression of the Life-Principle, the Father, God -- whatever word you want to use -- from whom God has withheld nothing! You are the presence of the Father in expressioon, and that expression has had nothing of what the Father is withheld from it. Therefore, fulfillment is the Actual state of your Being.

 

In being female, you allow yourself into the full experience of that already-existing and forever unchanging Fact. The male attempts to achieve fulfillment because the masculine aspect constitutes the strongest denial of already-existing Wholeness, already-existing fulfillment as the inherent state or Nature of Existence, of conscious being.

 

Now, you had better ask just how much you want to exercise masculine dominion -- if, in fact, that dominion constitutes a denial of fulfillment

 

QUESTION: It's kind of hard to give it up, though, because it seems -- well, that's the whole ego game, isn't it?

 

RAJ: It is like a drug that you get hooked on, and you must have another fix, and another fix, and then a bigger one, and then a bigger one.

 

QUESTION: I once had a meditation that was very profound, in which I felt that the Self said that no matter what I experienced, whether it was pain or whatever, It always experienced bliss, and It liked the experience of "just experiencing."

 

RAJ: Let me put it this way: Pain is the blocked experience of bliss. Bliss is the Event. Pain is what that Event feels like when one blocks It.

 

QUESTION: So, if I'm having a lot of pain in my body, and a lot of blocks, how do I release that?

 

RAJ: By recognizing that the Actual Event is the experience of bliss, and inviting it in.

 

QUESTION: Why am I not finding others that think and approach things as I do? I want to be surrounded with people who remind me all the time when I'm off the path.

 

RAJ: But, you see, that puts you in a dependent position. If they are not there, then you question whether or not you are on the right track. You are hesitant to validate yourself. You are very fortunate that you are not getting external validation, because that is weakening.

 

QUESTION: Sometimes I feel awfully lonely.

 

RAJ: Now you are talking about something else. You have friends, and there is no valid reason for you to feel lonely. What you are calling loneliness is a feeling of aloneness in your realization of Truth, and you are wanting to have others there to substantiate that, indeed, what you are perceiving is true.

 

If you get that, you will not have strength! I will say this to you. I have said it before. You will not get into the Kingdom of Heaven in a group. Groups do not move into the Kingdom of Heaven. Individuals, who are clear, move into the Kingdom of Heaven. It is individual clarity -- and you must dare to claim your birthright. You must be bold enough to claim it, because you cannot have a group of twenty or thirty, five hundred or a thousand, who know the Truth but have not dared to claim it, who, by virtue of being gathered together in a group will have enough substance to actually step into the experience of being totally awake.

 

So, in your spiritual growth, dare to stand alone and own your divinity. And do not use loneliness as an excuse for not owning your perception of Truth. Then, realize that you do have friends and associates who like you, and at a simple social level, let yourself be aware that you are not alone.

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Parenting

Real vs. Role

 

QUESTION: I would really like some feedback and wisdom about issues regarding my parenting. I've been having a very hard time for the last year and a half with my 17-year-old daughter. How can I be a loving mother and not be conned or manipulated?

 

RAJ: The reason you are having difficulty is because you are trying to fit into concepts of being "a good parent," "Practicing tough love," et cetera. The key, which is really very simple, is: Are you or are you not violating your integrity? Another way of putting that is: Are you or are you not requiring yourself to work within your comfort zone? It has nothing to do with what you ought to be or what you ought not to be. It has entirely to do with being genuinely you at any given moment.

 

Of course, this means you have to pay attention to yourself. If you are paying attention to "what a good mother should do or be," or the practice of "tough love," et cetera, then you are not paying attention to yourself and you are trying to align yourself with a theoretical stance, which has, perhaps, worked with others.

 

But, again, the real call is for genuineness -- meaning, being genuinely you at any given moment. The problem is that you are afraid that being genuinely you might mean beeing a conglomeration of ego structures that don't truly reflect that which is of quality and value in you, and therefore is not something that should be imposed upon your daughter -- or anyone else, for that matter. But, you see, it is a call for you to value yourself wherever you are in your movement from "endarkenment" to enlightenment, and simply daring to be you from the tips of your toes without apology.

 

You're not here to fit a role. You're here to be the genuine presence of your present point of unfoldment. And the reason you are here to be that is because you truly can't be anything else.

 

When you are willing to just be whoever you are at the moment, there will be Integrity to it, and you will not have to justify it. You will not have to prove it. And because you will be expressing yourself straight and clear, your daughter, or anyone else you are relating to, will know where you stand and where they stand relative to you.

 

At the bottom line, an inherent part of the process of Awakening is coming to a point of honoring yourself right where you are, because until you are honoring yourself right where you are, your full weight is not where you are. And you are not in a position to move forward.

 

Your gut-level feelings of what you can tolerate and what you cannot, what is comfortable and what is not comfortable, are much truer to your Being than you believe, and less true to your ego than you believe. The reason you have pain in the relationship is because you are not paying attention to your gut-level feelings. You are paying attention to your ego concepts of what is appropriate, and thereby acting at odds with your Self. That is uncomfortable! And that will always be uncomfortable. And you can thank your lucky stars that it will always be uncomfortable, because it is the presence of your inner Sanity not allowing you to be comfortable when you take an insane or unintelligent stance.

 

The measuring stick is built into you at any given moment, and the only reason there is a need for "tough love" or concepts of what it takes to be "a good parent" is because people don't pay attention to the built-in measuring stick and honor it.

 

QUESTION: I feel like part of my learning, of late, has been letting go of my sense of what a good mother is. Do you agree?

 

RAJ: That is correct, yes. But you needed confirmation of it and also a little bit of a push.

 

QUESTION: Relating to the parenting, sometimes my partner's feedback regarding the way I am with my daughter is helpful. But sometimes I feel there is a harshness to him that pulls me off. Is that accurate, or is that my resistance to being tougher?

 

RAJ: For the most part it is your resistance. You need, especially at those moments when you are feeling harshness, to ask yourself why you are reluctant to see the simple common sense of it. You need to ask yourself why you are unwilling to recognize that you feel the same way, and you need to ask yourself why you are reluctant to state yourself clearly.

 

I will tell you this: It is the child in you. And you are responding to something in your daughter's behavior that the child in you sees as a parent -- as though you owe her something other than to be genuinely you. You are not here to cow-tow to anyone and be altered by theeir behavior or expectation, and their presence doesn't require of you that you be something more than you are, or at a more advanced place than you are.

 

Now, you are going to have to become bold and say, "Here I am. Take me or leave me." You deserve the peace, the equilibrium, and the feeling of invulnerability that comes from not trying to be where you are not, not trying to be something that you are not, but just being the best damned "you" that you are at that moment because who you are at the moment truly has substance and validity, even though you, two seconds from then, may have grown and your self-expression will be different.

 

The question is, why do you hide yourself? And the answer is, because something in you believes that you are supposed to be a manifestation of a concept: "a good parent," "polite," "reasonable", "principled."

 

You won't begin to know what those words mean until you are being genuinely you, and then those words will come into focus. If you are trying to be something you are not, it is impossible for you to be principled. That is not what constitutes being reasonable, because the Reason in the "reasonableness," is inherent in your expressing who you are and what your limits are at any given moment. Anything else is challengeable because there isn't substance to it. It is an intellectual expression of who you are trying to be, and it will invite challenge!

 

When you say, "these are just my limits," no one can challenge that -- if, indeed, you are expressing what your limits truly are. People will feel that you are telling the truth, and there is noo way that anyone can tell you you ought to be different, because they hear that at the moment you can't be.

 

Now, this doesn't come into play only with your daughter, but this is the point where you are being called to address the issue. She is simply reflecting back to you a point of your own growth that has to do with whether or not you are going to be squelched by your own established beliefs of what you should or ought to do or be, or whether you are going to just be you. She is putting you up against some inner dynamics that generally speaking you are able to avoid becoming clear about. And the reason is because it's time for you to learn this and become free!

 

This does not mean that she knows what she is doing, and that once you become clear she will change her ways. But once you become clear, and once you don't apologize for being you, and yet you express you, it may well be that she will have to leave. I will tell you this: If she leaves because you have been clear, that is one thing. If she leaves because you have been unclear, that is what is not good.

 

QUESTION: I have had the feeling several times in the last couple of weeks that I would like to cancel my "under 25" insurance on my car and not be paying the extra premium. I'm nervous to have her drive my car because she had two accidents this past fall, and I really don't want her to drive my car for awhile.

 

RAJ: No, that is not the reason. You want to cancel it because you want to feel some peace in you. That's the reason. So, I say, why don't you opt for your peace?

 

QUESTION: When I was riding with her today, I was nervous about her driving, and I don't know whether I've lost my confidence in her, or if she's not as good a driver as my two older children, who I was never uncomfortable with.

 

RAJ: The problem here is that your attention is being drawn out external to you, so that you may justify not allowing her to drive because "she isn't a good driver," or for whatever other reason. In allowing your attention to be drawn out that way, rather than simply paying attention to and honoring your comfort zone, you lose your Integrity. The necessity is to simply own your feelings and let those around you know that you are unwilling to function outside your comfort zone, whether they are happy about it or not. In honoring your comfort zone and staying within it, you will have the peace that is needed in order to relate well and harmoniously and reasonably with everyone else.

 

You don't have to justify not making your car available to someone else because of a judgment on their ability to drive if, regardless of any assessment of their driving, you are not feeling comfortable. It is enough to just be feeling uncomfortable and recognize that you are not going to be willing to function in a zone of discomfort.

 

QUESTION: Then the other part of me comes in and says, "She'll lose her confidence in herself."

 

RAJ: She will lose her confidence in herself if you don't sacrifice your Integrity? That is B.S. And you need to challenge the bluff. She is responsible for sacrificing her Integrity or her self-confidence, just, as you are responsible for sacrificing your Integrity and peace of mind. Someone here needs to start expressing truth, Integrity, and it isn't going to be your daughter. She is not close enough to seeing the actual solution to be able to act upon it, and you are.

 

Do you want to be a good parent in the sense of setting a healthy example? Then help her learn that it is valuable to not forfeit your own sense of your Integrity for anyone else by not sacrificing it, and feeling good about it! It will have an educational effect, but I am not truly implying that you should do it to teach her.

 

You do not have to function outside your comfort zone. That is another way of saying, you do not have to function in a reactive state. And it is up to you to see to it that you provide yourself with the environment in which your peace is easily available to you.

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Conversations with Raj is made up of actual questions and answers drawn, with permission, from private conversations with Raj and public Workshops. Rajpur, an Ascended Master, is an Individuality making himself known by means of conscious channeling through Paul Norman Tuttle for the purpose of facilitating the major shift of consciousness which mankind is entering into. 

 

Conversations with Raj is published monthly by ESTAR Foundation, 1221 Toledo St., Bellingham, WA 98226. Phone: 206-734-4418. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $36.00; single copy $3.00. Copyright Ó 1988by ESTAR Foundation. All rights reserved.