CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
VOL. 4, NO. 1
[EXCERPTS FROM THE BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON WORKSHOP, AN AFTERNOON WITH RAJ, HELD JANUARY 11, 1987.]
QUESTION: Well, there's energy out there for the year 1987. Is there something you could tell us of the events that will occur, which will be significant to us for this next year?
RAJ: Tomorrow evolves out of today, and the moment that each one of you is experiencing now is the threshold of the future. There literally is no future sitting out there already for you to discern. There are simply tendencies -- tendencies arising out of the moment we are in. Each one of you -- all of us -- sets the tone and the pattern.
Now, I can tell you what the tendencies are likely to be, and I will tell you some of them. But, do not make the mistake of saying, "Oh. Well, that's the way it is," because-you can change the tendency in the moment you are in, and that will not be "the way it is.''
There is only one thing, which is "for sure," and that is that the Reality of Being is going on, and Its ongoingness will not change, and every single one of you who is not experiencing It in Its totality, will experience It in Its totality. I do not mean to say that you will experience It in Its totality in 1987. 1 am saying that in the cycles of Life, that is the one sure thing.
More than anything, I want each of you to consider what tendencies, what intents, you want to set in motion. I further want you to understand that at the bottom line, you only seem to have two directions that you can set into motion. One is resistance to Life -- resistance to the conscious experience of Reality. The other is setting into motion that which leads you to the conscious experience of Reality. You cannot set Reality into motion, because It is already in motion.
In some ways 1987 will be a strenuous year, generally speaking, especially toward the last quarter of the year. I said "generally speaking," because the simple fact is that any one of you in this room always has the opportunity to be flowing in absolute harmony with what your Being is unfolding. And in flowing in harmony with It, you will have yourself aligned with the constant experience of fulfillment, no matter how many others seem to be experiencing stress and strain.
Unless the tendency changes, the financial picture, world-wide, will deteriorate as the year progresses. At this point, if things do not change, oil prices will increase drastically, especially as we enter into the fourth quarter of the year. This will put a stress on the economy of all countries, except in the Mideast where the problem will be stemming from.
It is imperative for you to remember that it is the intent of your Being to fulfill Itself perfectly, and It has infinite resources with which to do so. It is absolutely not dependent upon world economic conditions. Where do you think the manna came from? Your Being has infinite resources, because your Being is the Presence of the Life-Principle, the infinite Mind, God, in the process of experiencing Its infinite Wholeness without distortion of any kind.
Now, I have described two different scenarios; one of which seems potentially real to you and the other one, certainly desirable, but ... is it true? You are more inclined to believe the negative, illusory sense than you are the fundamental fact of your Being, which really isn't foreign to you, but which doesn't seem to be totally practical to you, either.
Whenever growth occurs there is unsettling, reorganization or reorientation, and a settling down. You are all aware that there are things on your planet that need to change because there is a lack of brotherly love, there is a lack of peace in each of you. You know that you desire it and need to experience Peace and Harmony -- the absence of threat, and the feeling of confidence -- and so you really do want change. So, you really are going to have to expect an unsettling, so that the pieces can be shaken loose and put together in a new configuration, which more closely approximates the Truth.
1987 is the first year of a three-year period of a shift of direction for Mankind, a positive, healthy, wholizing shift. There are many things, which will seem to fall apart, many structures of business, education and industry that will collapse, because they will not be able to play a constructive part in the forward movement from 1990 on. This will not be a violent upheaval. But you must be ready to not resist the change.
I have pointed out that there is a oneness between you and your world, you and your fellow man. Therefore, these changes are not happening at your expense. They are happening because you are growing, because you are part and parcel of it. They are really reflecting your awakening, even though at times they seem to push you to your limits, and seem to be happening to you.
To talk about the future can be a trap, simply because all you ever have is Now. Conscious experience is always a now experience. That means that the Oneness, or the Harmony of Being is present only to be experienced in the Now. Too much attention given to forecasts of the future cause you to become emotionally pulled into reactions about the future, which causes your energy in the present to be conflicted. This causes you to be unable to experience your peace, and the Oneness of Being in the Now. Then, in this state of distorting conflict, the next moment is distorted -- at least your experience of it is. And it increases your fear, and the conflict, and this causes your subsequent moment to be experienced even more fearfully, and it becomes like a dog chasing its tail, never accomplishing its goal, but in a constant state of turmoil.
There are many things going on on your planet that have gone on for millenia -- illness, disease, sin, missing the point, not experiencing Reality, not experiencing your divinity, struggle, death, and taxes. 1987 will either be more of the same, or something new. But what I want you to understand is that the distorted experience of life that has gone on for millenia, has been a distorted experience of Reality, because Reality has been the only thing going on all along, and It has always been present to be experienced without distortion.
What I mean to convey to you is that every negative has gone on in the context of Life, and it has not constituted a separate reality. None of it, none of the negatives, have ever succeeded in stopping in any way the Omnipresencing of the Father. The illusory, conflicted experience of Life has been going on in the context of Reality, and hasn't affected what Reality is in any way, shape, or form. And the illusion has never constituted a separate existence, a separate dynamic that you could actually call "Unreality" -- an actually opposing or opposite presence.
The fundamental context in which we have been talking this afternoon has to do with waking up. 1987 is as good a year as any to do it in! And, to the degree that you do not become reactive to prophecies, to the degree that you do not become reactive to those things which could be called reasonable inevitabilities, and to the degree that you each begin to choose for being centered and not function at the reactive, ego level, you will begin to experience an increasing harmony, an increasing clarity that will allow you to perceive more clearly the unchanging, ever present Reality that has always been the only thing going on.
There is much needing to be changed. But it will only change when there is a new perspective from within each individuality. The marvelous thing is, that as each individuality begins to have a changed perspective that is in closer alignment to the Truth, the benefit outweighs just the simple apparent value of the one individuality, who has had a change of perspective. Each one of you who insists upon looking past appearances, and who desires to perceive the underlying Reality, lessens the density for the whole Brotherhood, and therefore, as the whole Brotherhood is less dense, it makes it easier for the individuality to become less dense, and it compounds itself.
The changes that need to occur do not need to be uncomfortable. They are not inherently uncomfortable, unless one is holding onto the ego and that which is being outmoded. As long as one is hanging onto something that is not of value, then the death of that will seem to be experienced as one's own death trauma -- not necessarily one that causes actual death, but all of the trauma of collapse and loss will seem to be felt, because one does not recognize the difference between one's ego and one's essential Being.
The only thing that will be lost in this coming reconfiguration is that which has no value to the emerging experience of Reality, and if you are all insisting on identifying with and experiencing your divine Being, you will know where to be and how to be in a way that is identified tangibly as fulfillment.
You are much better off to deal in the Now. It is much simpler. It is much less foreboding. And you certainly have enough things to take care of in the now without borrowing from the "future." That is practical common sense. You have no idea just exactly how profound that advice is, and you won't, until you let yourself be in the Now. You will not grasp what freedom there is. You will not grasp the Peace or the Joy that I mentioned earlier.
It is obvious to you, intellectually, at least, that if you are able to be at peace, and if you are feeling joy, that is the way your perception of the future is going to be colored -- with Joy, with Peace, with Genuineness; Realism that is so meaningful that it is a holy experience. That is what is going to change the world. It is going to be Individuals discovering and owning their Christhood, their flawless divinity, and daring to be It unpretentiously, unaffectedly, simply, in their encounters with their fellow man.
If you want to give a description to the year 1987, the best one you could come up with is The Year of Choice; meaning, choosing for the ego, or all of its reactions, all of its discomforts, all of its drama, or choosing for your essential Being and the experience of It, and then living your daily life, to the best of your ability from your best centered place, from your peace. You are your future. There truly isn't one hanging out there in the "time zone," waiting for you to experience it.
Reality is. It simply is. It is present to be experienced and it is inseparable from You. You are inseparable from It. I encourage you to choose for your Being, your essential Value, and I urge you to do it Now, and in every succeeding Now, because that will govern the way in which you and everyone else experiences what you call "the future." But, do it for you! Until you do it for you, it will not be done for anyone else.
Do it for you, and you are the example, you are the inspiration for another to do it for himself/herself. But, I tell you, that is a side effect, a side benefit. It is a part of the integrity of your Being that you honor your Self, and so, no matter what you have been conditioned to believe, it is not selfish to be Self-appreciative. It is not selfish to honor your Self. It is not selfish to experience Who You Are. The greatest gift that you can extend to your fellow man is the presence of someone whose Integrity is intact.
QUESTION: I don't really have a question. I would like you to say something to us. Whatever you have to say, I am sure will be fitting.
RAJ: At the bottom line, it is always an issue of control that you are dealing with. What you call "problems," are circumstances in which you feel as though you are losing control. As each one of you is well aware, you come up against this over and over and over again. It would be wise for you to ask yourself, "Why?" And I am going to encourage you to start asking the question, "Why?" without assuming that the answer is going to condemn you!
The reason you keep coming up on this issue of loss of control is because control is an artificial effort that plays no part in Reality and therefore control cannot be consistently and continuously exercised successfully. It fails because it is not valid in any divine sense of the word.
Control is something you try to exercise because there is an assumption that without it you will experience chaos. That is a false assumption. You say, "But, when I lose control, everything goes to hell. That proves it. Without control there is nothing but chaos." The problem is, you don't stay in that place of "not having control" long enough to find the fundamental harmony of Being emerging.
So, when you feel as though you are not being able to control matters well, I encourage every one of you to be extremely grateful, because it literally puts you at the threshold of discerning the fundamental harmony of your Being, the fundamental harmony of all Life, and therefore Its Oneness and Its Integrity. If you get it, you will never ever take control of anything again. I want you to think about what that means. What a relief!
If you do not have to take control again, and the result of not having control is harmony, what a joy! It would be peace. It would be the absence of those dynamics which cause you to condemn yourself and feel guilty because you are not carrying your responsibility well -- the responsibility, of course, being the efficient and successful exercise of control.
I am not saying that doing this is easy, because it isn't. Each one of you has been conditioned to learn how to exercise control well, how to exercise it intelligently, and, hopefully, how to exercise it in a way that benefits everyone. Not to exercise control is something, which causes great distress because it feels like "irresponsibility." But, if relinquishing control, with the realization that it was never your responsibility to exercise it in the first place, allows you to relax, it allows you to be at peace, and when you are at peace, you will be amazed at how intelligent you will spontaneously be.
You will be amazed at the degree of clarity that you have available to you without any thought process whatsoever. You will just Know. It will just be there. It will just be clear to you, As a result of that natural, effortless clarity you will behave in a way that those still coming from an ego level will call intelligent and successful. You will not appear to be odd in any way. You will be contributive because of the clarity that you will have available to you.
Now, because of the depth of your conditioning, a conditioning that has, let us say, accumulated over more than one lifetime, it is an incredibly difficult thing to let go of control long enough to observe the natural harmony of Being emerge. And this is one of the reasons that each of you has a Guide. It is most helpful to have someone with a broader perspective, one who is totally clear, to help you and encourage you to move through what feels like total insanity.
Your conditioning is severe enough that letting go of control and being curious to observe harmony unfold feels so irresponsible that you cannot avoid judging yourself and then suffering the guilt due for your "irresponsibility." And there are not yet enough of you and your fellow men to be able to form support groups so that you can have the courage to follow through.
There is an added benefit to getting this help from your Guides and that is that when support groups are formed for any significant purpose, they tend to be turned into religions, and then everybody becomes devoted to the religion instead of the experience. In working with your Guide, your Guide will keep your nose right where it belongs and in the direction it needs to be headed, so that you can wake up.
QUESTION: Lately I have been experiencing a real energy drain at work, and I don't know if it's centered around what's happening at work or a combination of things, and I don't think it's a healthy thing for me physically and mentally. I'd like to know where the short-circuit is happening.
RAJ: Right in you. It isn't the circumstance that's draining you. It is your resistance to the circumstance that is draining you. It is the defensiveness that you cloak yourself in almost immediately after you wake up, and which you "protect" yourself with throughout the day. Maintaining what you might call a force field or energy shield uses energy. It wastes energy. So, you must step back from the circumstance that you are feeling is unhealthy for you and you must ask yourself, "Why do I need to protect myself?"
The reason you feel you need to protect yourself is because you think that you are a small container of energy -- a body that gets its energy from the foods it eats, and from the oxygen it breathes. What you need to understand is that you are an infinite source of love, an infinite source of consciousness. You are an infinite capacity to perceive the Truth, and you cannot ever run out of that. If you cannot run out of it, you do not need to protect. You only protect when you feel like there is only a little bit, and you don't want to lose it and be totally empty.
Now, it is easy, relatively speaking, to express endless love to your children. You do not assume that they could ever take all of it that you have. There is something in you that says no matter how much was needed, you would find it somewhere. You have a sense of being an endless resource or source of love. This is true of your fellow man, too. You do have it. And it is important for you to begin to dare to give your fellow man as much of the benefit of the doubt as you are willing to give your children.
In doing that, you let down the defense. And what happens? The love that You Are is able to flow out into expression, into the environment that you feel is perhaps lacking in principle or harmony. This is important to understand. When you let down the defense, it does not mean that the chaos can come in. It means that the love that You Are is able to flow out, and that does not cause you to be vulnerable.
I will tell you this: What wears you out from cloaking yourself in defense is the fact that you are blocking the essential flow of your Love, which is coming from an infinite source and therefore is going to continue to come, whether you are blocking It or not. Therefore, it is going to be harder and harder to block It, and you will become more and more tired, until you give up!
You will say, "I'm at the end of my rope." You will believe that that is a statement of your problem, when really being at the end of your rope is the statement of the solution. If you'll let go of that last fraction of an inch of rope that you've been holding onto, your garment of self-protection will drop from you, and you will get relief because this Love that You Are will flow.
Everyone whom you are engaged with in your work is deserving of your acknowledgment of their worth. And if you want to know how to be able to be with them in a way that will be resolving to the whole situation, then you need to let your Love out, and not defend yourself from the moment you wake up.
I will tell you this, also: Because your clarity of vision, because the purity of your Love, is the Presence of the Father flowing into expression, it does not mean that being that Love, being unconditional, will force the issue and make the situation change. There is nothing coercive about Love, nothing manipulative. So, if the circumstances are not subject to change because those involved are insistent upon continuing to come from their distorted ego level, then your willingness to let your Love flow unconditionally will gently move you out of that environment because it is Love and it is loving for you!
The necessity, here, has been for you to discern what it is that is draining you. As long as you think it is the workplace, or the co-workers, or the work, you will attend to a false focus. On the other hand, if you will attend to the real issue, which is that you are defending yourself and you are withholding your Love, then you will attend to the thing that will be resolving, whether it means a transformation in the work place, or a change in where you work.
QUESTION: It seems that beneath all of the things I have ego reactions to, I get down to just a fundamental distrust. It's that choice you are talking about. And I would like you to speak to healing that. How do I trust more?
RAJ: By trusting as much as you can. Don't make it unnecessarily complicated. Whatever level of trust you are able to bring to your listening, to your sensing into your greater capacity to be aware, will bring a corresponding increase of clarity. The presence of that corresponding increase of clarity will substantiate for you the value of the trust, and that will increase the trust, which will increase the clarity, which will increase the trust, which will increase the clarity, et cetera.
Practice trust, and trust will grow!
It has been wisely said that it is important to look at the doughnut rather than the hole. It is important to value every evidence of the benefit of trust. It is valueless to give your attention to your doubts. You may notice that they are there. You cannot do anything about that, because at the moment you are moving from ignorance to enlightenment, apparently. Always along with ignorance is insecurity, and therefore doubt. So, doubt will be with you until you are fully enlightened, fully experiencing your enlightened Being. So, do not quibble about and do not fret about its presence. You may notice it, but you do not have to honor it. You do not have to invest energy or belief or faith or fear in it.
What you magnify, magnifies, or is magnified positively and negatively. So, do not magnify the doubt. Do magnify the trust, and every little evidence of the benefit of trust. Notice the doubts are there, and let them be. And bring your attention back to the trust. You cannot avoid its enhancement when you practice it.
QUESTION: Somehow I have really vast confidence now in my Guide. At that level I feel like my fulfillment is really a high priority, and then there's some deeper level at which I don't believe that. I'm willing to take what you said and let that change me. So, if you don't have any further answer, that's fine.
RAJ: What you are dealing with here is impatience -- a feeling that you need to be progressing faster than you are. And, it isn't true. I encourage you to trust the fundamental integrity of your Being and Its ability to move you to your leading edge, and beyond it. But understand that the integrity of your Being means that its movement is going to be kind and it is not going to overwhelm you. And therefore will nudge you always within the framework of what you can tolerate under the circumstances -- meaning considering the ego structures that are still dominant.
You will move appropriately because you are trusting, and because of the nature of your Being. This is true of everyone. Every single one of you is up against issues, which constitute the structures of bondage that it is appropriate for you to let go of next. And the reason that those are the ones you are up against is because of the fundamental intelligence of your Being, which causes your growth to be orderly and not overwhelming.
So, you trust the process of listening to your Guide. I encourage you to simply trust your Being and Its intent for you to be fully and totally integrated, consciously. Trust that It knows how to do it in the way that will be most supportive to you, and the least devastating to you.
QUESTION: Is there anything you can say about dealing with my attempts to control the flow of my energy?
RAJ: Only in this way: Rather than having you address your attention to what you are doing inappropriately to exercise control, I would encourage you to recognize that the fact that control is being exercised means that there is still available to you a greater experience of freedom and joy, so that you may give your attention to desiring to experience that.
When you find out what is wrong, you will attempt to do something about it, and all the time that you are doing that, you will not be giving your attention to experiencing the fuller freedom and joy. And you will delay your experience of that freedom and joy.
Fault-finding is one of the most effective ways of blocking your growth, even though you rationalize and tell yourself that only by finding it can you know what to discard! But finding fault, finding flaws, is an act of self-criticism -- an ongoing one, because it takes time to find flaws. So, you are preoccupied, and you are bound.
Desire to experience your joy, and be open to it, and it will come in, and it will supersede the doubt and the sadness, the grief, everything that contributes to your being depressed. Bring a light into a dark room and the darkness vanishes. Why? Because you had to understand "darkness"? No. Because that's the way light works. Light is the absence of darkness. Joy is the absence of grief, of depression. Love is the absence of hate.
Do you have six or eight really hateful places in you? I will tell you this: You certainly don't have a map pinpointing where they're located. If you connect with your Love, however, and let It in, and let It flow, and feel It, you will be able to find no place in you where there is a spot of hate. And it will not have been necessary for you to have gone on an internal witch-hunt. And you will not have wasted any time in any act of self-depreciation or self-criticism, and you will move out of any level of bondage that those six or eight places kept you in.
That also is a profound lesson to experience the meaning of.
QUESTION: You have said, "When two or more are gathered together in my name, there am I." The idea that a group of us at work have been struggling with is the idea of "joining."
RAJ: It is scary to join because there is the fear of losing one's autonomy, one's ability to function "freely" -- and that really means "indiscriminately." It is very hard for one coming from an ego standpoint to contemplate the effect of blending, of existing in harmony, because that implies a loss of independence. It implies the loss of Individuality. It implies settling into some sort of "group consciousness" that violates individual integrity. But, as I have said before, the ego is a liar. It lies because it doesn't see clearly, and its self-expression, therefore, is always untrue. It is incapable of seeing clearly, seeing truly.
To yield to your divine Being does hot constitute a loss of Individuality. It will constitute a loss of being able to function with total disregard for everything else. But, it does leave you free to act with total freedom as long as there is total regard for everything else, and as long as your actions, because of that total regard, contribute and constitute fulfillment for everyone.
QUESTION: So, when several of us have different visions, how can we come together in a way that would harness the power of joining? I'm not speaking in terms of manipulating the power of joining, because it cannot be manipulated. You said in A Course in Miracles that combining thought and belief can literally move mountains. We really want to put this to work.
RAJ: I want you to understand that it is not possible to move a mountain that isn't already moving! Think about it for a minute.
You must be very careful. Unity of thought, this joining that you have asked about, this gathering together in my name, does not bring into your experience a level of power that you can then exercise to make what you believe to be good things happen.
Being of one mind means being not in tune or in harmony with each other, but in harmony with the Father, the infinite Mind that constitutes your essential conscious Individuality. When you are all of one Mind, and when that means that each of you has yielded to the Father's Will, then mountains will move because the Father is moving them -- because that is the unfoldment of Fulfillment -- and you will obviously feel that you are a participant in the movement of that mountain.
The movement of mountains will not occur as the result of personal desires, or a personal sense of artistic beauty, but because there is no desire present in you other than the Father's Will, which you will experience as yours because you have yielded to Him, because you have yielded to That which is essentially true about you. Marvelous things will happen that heretofore have not happened when you were coming from a separated, tiny, ego sense of yourself, and a felt need for power.
Every single one of you in this room, and every single individual who exists, is, right now, the full representation of the Father, the full expression of the infinite, divine Mind or intelligence. It is because that is the unalterable Fact that there is apparently going to be a shift of consciousness in which everyone recognizes that Fact at an experiential level. But, do you know that I cannot make that happen any faster than all the individuals who exist allow themselves to own and acknowledge and experience their divinity? I have no other will but the Will of the Father, and I cannot make you do anything. But, I am also not deluded into believing that you are as ignorant and tiny and ineffective as you feel you are. I am not discouraged because I can't change you.
So, you see, you cannot move a mountain that is not already moving. I can facilitate this shift in consciousness because the shift is occurring. Now, if I am not distressed at not being able to rearrange the surface of your planet, you should not be discouraged that you cannot move mountains.
When you gather together in my name, I want you to think of the word, "name," as Nature. What is my Nature? It is the flawless, perfect Presence of the Father. It is the Presence of the Father, without distortion, that constitutes the Christ. It is therefore what truly constitutes each one of you. So, when you are gathering together to be of one Mind, that doesn't mean agreement of egos. It really means yielding to the Will of God. And that will always involve knowing how to be with absolute appropriateness in any given human circumstance, so that that circumstance can be transformed and become the clearer expression of the Father's Will. The Father's Will is always for one thing: Fulfillment. Fulfillment of Purpose.
If you sit down with the intent of being of one Mind, and the evidence is one of a variety of opinions, or different expressions, then you can dare to assume that there is something further to see, that there is further clarification. If you will avoid becoming innerly distressed because they are not seeing the "truth" that you are, your energy will be freed up from totally unproductive endeavors. And you will be free to join with them, and they will be free to join with you in the delight of discovering what the further clarification is.
In other words, continue to look for the gem until all of you see it, and if you are not all seeing it, do not assume that it is the others who are at fault. Simply know that there is further clarification available, and let there be pleasure in listening for it.
One of the greatest things that everyone needs to practice in the process of Awakening is patience. Patience requires the expression of trust. Trust involves the experience of Peace. Peace allows you to be present in the Now, and being present in the Now puts you in the Holy Instant, the Instant of Wholeness, wherein you have the easiest opportunity to wake up.
Conversations with Raj is published monthly by Kairos, Inc., P.O. Box 71280 Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. 98107. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $36.00; single copy, $4.00. © 1986 Paul Norman Tuttle. All rights reserved.