CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
VOL. 3, NO. 8
QUESTION: What do you see as the best way for me to pursue my own awakening process?
RAJ: The most significant thing you can do is to recognize that there is absolutely present, at this instant, 98% of yourself, which you are not consciously experiencing. It is present, active, and insisting upon insinuating Itself into your conscious level of awareness. It is Its goal for you not to be divided into parts in any way, shape, or form.
Then, on the basis of that, let there be a conscious desire to let It in. It is that simple. This does mean, however, that you will have to be willing to give time to listen or receive. It will mean that you will have to set aside, for short periods of time, your regular daily activities to become quiet within yourself—quiet enough to hear. This will not be necessary forever, because once the experience is well established, it can happen while you are driving the car, or while you are working, or washing dishes, or any form of activity.
The main thing I want you to be aware of is that there is present, right now, right where you are, literally as you, this tremendous 98% that lovingly embraces your present tiny sense of yourself, and which insists upon breaking down the sense of separation in absolutely constructive and nondestructive ways. Your willingness to desire to experience your greater capacity to be aware constitutes putting yourself in alignment with your Self—the other 98 %. And, when that alignment is present, there will always be an influx of inspiration, intuition, enlightenment, and revelation.
Now, it is well for you to read materials, which are encouraging to you in this endeavor. But I do encourage you to avoid materials, which promote the idea of duality, of conflicting powers, of conflicted or destructive events, and any material, which causes you in any way to invest your faith in anything "out-there" in the world, anything which would cause you to withdraw your attention from being centered within you, so that you may experience more clearly the natural, inherent Integrity of your Being. Do read any materials that support and encourage your inner exploration and Self-discovery.
QUESTION: I was experiencing such a feeling of gratitude as I was driving up here, that this kind of a conversation would be possible for us again. I'm just really appreciating this presence being made available to me, and to hear...
RAJ: Do you realize that for me, you are presenting the same presence that you are recognizing is being presented to you? You and I are not essentially different. The only difference is that you do not perceive your inherent wonderfulness, nor the Meaning that your very Being communicates. I just want you to be aware of that.
We are brother and sister, equals, having the same Source, the same Father, and I encourage you to allow yourself to think of yourself more consistently with the appreciation that you spontaneously feel for me. In this way our equality can become more definite, more manifest, and that is really what it's all about.
QUESTION: What I'd like to talk about today is something of that emergent sense of Self. I feel as if I've had a calm surface—a lake surface—and there's this great "something," some kind of an energy, beginning to push through and crack open the surface and break it apart. It feels both promising and delightful and confusing to me.
RAJ: The sense of the substance, the bigness, of this movement needs to be seen as something not apart from you, else you will perceive it as potentially overwhelming to you. I assure you that this big "something" of substance is literally You, your essential Being, in Its fullness, and that the experience of Its emergence will not be one of being swallowed up, but one of being exalted, enhanced, more completely integrated, more substantial, more stable—not stable in the sense that you are better able to withstand hard knocks, but stable in the sense of being the presence, which constitutes the absence of opposition, and therefore no hard knocks to withstand. It is You getting bigger.
More accurately, it is the boundaries of your present self-perception moving back to embrace more of the You that has always been present. There is always delight in this, because it constitutes coming Home. It constitutes experiencing what you have always known, even though you didn't look at it squarely in the face. And it is scary because you have been conditioned to be defensive against change, for survival's sake, and this kind of change is change that you are not able to comprehend ahead of the event. So, it does require trust, it does require faith. But, you see, you have some help here to understand that all there is beyond your present sense of yourself is the more of your Self, which has always been present.
You have always been totally present and totally functioning, even though you have been experiencing only a tiny part of that totality. So, growth and expansion that truly constitutes Awakening, is the expansion into your fuller experience of your Being. The little ego sense gets swallowed up in the bigness of You, and it feels frightened when that happens.
I want you to understand that the ego is a fragment of your essential Being. It is experienced as limitation, defensiveness, pain, and temporary joy only because it is an incomplete Self-experience. But, nevertheless, that which is within the boundary of the ego sense is your essential Self. You can see, thereby, that as this boundary of the ego sense becomes expanded and embraces more of your essential Being, the distortions inherent in the extremely partial ego sense become undistorted. So, the ego sense becomes less pronounced and gives way to the clearer, more harmonious experience of your fundamental Being.
Do not look at the ego as an "illusion." It is Reality in such a partial sense that it is not recognizable. So, you are not going to get rid of the ego. You are going to let the tininess of it yield to your expanded Self- awareness.
Do you know that your Being is constantly upsetting the "apple-cart" of the ego—the limited boundary? Your Being is constantly insinuating Itself into, in an attempt to expand, this tiny ego domain. This movement you are speaking of is literally the pressure of your Being against the artificial ego limits. So, the movement is You happening. It is not something happening to you. It is a totally cohesive, integrating and integrated movement.
Therefore, there is no need for you to anticipate gnashing of teeth, great fear, great trauma. But, rather, a great sense of relaxing, because of a greater sense of your immovable Integrity, and that that Integrity embraces everything of which you are aware. It is not just something going on "in" you. Your expansion, your Awakening, contributes to the whole world—to the universe, in fact.
QUESTION: It seems as if my little ego keeps being "found out" in its shenanigans lately—in all kinds of little jealousies and attachments—and...
RAJ: Why is it being shown up? Because the light is shining! The Love is present; illuminating what is not helpful to you so that you can more easily set it aside. It is not the purpose of the illumination to pinpoint your faults so that you can dutifully feel guilty. It is to simply reveal what doesn't serve you, so that you, in your innate common-sense intelligence, can say, "Wow, I don't want to have anything to do with that," and let it go and move on without ever paying the penalty, which guilt would extract from you if you were to play into it.
You do want to see what isn't working for you, what isn't serving you. And if it is something that you are doing that is not serving you, do not energize a sense of personal attachment to it so that you can say, "If this is impractical for me, and if I am choosing to utilize it, what does that say about me? I must be an idiot. I must be a fool. I must be far from my potential." That is not the point!
If you write 2+2=5, your recognition of the error simply tells you to erase the answer and rework the exercise! It calls for no judgment upon your character, your nature, or your Being. Let yourself be preoccupied with the fact that there is at work in you, your very divine Presence, which is serving to illuminate that which is not serving you, so that you may easily, clearly acknowledge that you do not want it and let go of it.
QUESTION: I want an open heart. I want to be able to really express and feel love.
RAJ: First of all, you are Love. Love is the very substance of You—of your Individuality. Even humanly speaking, you are not a cold person. You do not have a hard heart. You do not have a crust around it. You have some doubt around it, but your essential Love is not blocked. It is constantly being expressed, communicated and felt by those around you.
Do not misunderstand. To hear that the need in the world, the need for Mankind, is to love unconditionally—and that, indeed, unconditional love is the threshold to the Kingdom of Heaven—is not supposed to be a means of laying a "trip" on Man to obligate himself to a new "project," a new "work ethic" on his spiritual path!
The harder you try to be loving, the further away from Love you will get. You allow Love to flow. And when you hear that your love should be unconditional, it simply means that you can dare to be alert to the opportunities that are present to not withhold your love, and, in effect, love what might have seemed unlovable to you before.
You are not to drive yourself to do this! It is a matter of trusting into your Being more, letting yourself into your Peace, relaxing in the understanding of your essential divinity, and then being surprised when you find yourself not reacting to the egos that present themselves to you, but responding to the essential divinity of that which underlies those egos.
Love is the recognition of that which is Real in each and every thing. You have, literally, a whole world here of things awaiting your discovery of their essential divinity! That is the way you should approach unconditional love—like an easter egg hunt, like a diamond mine, where you find rare beauty and that which is delightful in the most unexpected places, Even right where it seemed impossible for it to be.
You see, love is something you give by receiving. You let yourself recognize the divinity of something. You are open to it and perceive it. You receive the clarity, and that "thing," which has been recognized for its essential divinity will respond because it feels the recognition, and it says, "I am loved." Yet, you made no effort to move something you had over to something else.
The gift was the receipt, the recognition, the acknowledgment of the essential divinity. And that acknowledgment was something in you, which you opened up to acknowledge, recognize, and receive! Now, you can drive yourself crazy and wear yourself out trying to go through your world, pouring out of your bountiful "who knows what," some "love" that you think you are supposed to be able to give better, but you will miss the point.
You give by being open to the reception of the recognition of that which is divinely real in anything you see, and your recognition of it is the gift. Jesus said, "I have overcome the world." He didn't do anything to the world. He did something to the way in which he was looking at it, and it constituted the clearest, most profound example of Love, which even now continues to be felt by those who were never in his physical presence. His gift was the acknowledgement of that which was Real. But, you see, from the standpoint of his experience it was a matter of himself being open to the recognition of the Reality of everything, rather than the finite sense of it that was presenting itself to him.
There were egos all over the place, reaching for him and pushing him away. But he did not choose to see them the way they saw themselves! He acknowledged the divinity of everything. That is what Love is, the desire and willingness to see the essential divinity in each and every thing.
Now, when you are recognizing and discovering and appreciating the essential divinity of everything, it begins to become apparent to you that everything isn't really so different from you. It isn't really so distant from you. And you finally begin to feel so comfortable and "at home" with everything that the distinction between you and the things begins not to be so strong.
You begin to realize that it all fits together, it all constitutes one harmonious Whole. You do not become swallowed up in everything else, but everything else becomes embraced within your experience of your Self, and it becomes experientially part of the infinitude of your Being. So, your ability and your willingness to acknowledge the essential divinity in everything you see is the means by which you allow yourself to become more and more comfortable with yourself and your world, and begin to experience the Oneness of it all, and that it all constitutes some part of the Meaning of your Being.
Not giving enough love is an artificial problem. It is not something you can project through space to some external object or point. That isn't what Love is. So, it is foolish to attempt to "do it better." I encourage you to take time each day for awhile to look at anything—whether it is a leaf, a table, a fingernail, a building, a burn, a whisker on an unshaven man—and be willing to say, "If that thing exists at all, there is a divine reality to it. Even if I cannot see it at the moment, I know it has to be there."
Do not pick just perfect things. Pick someone with a wart on their nose, or a tree that's half dead, and be willing to acknowledge, "If that tree exists at all, it has an essential divinity, an essential perfection to it, and I desire to see it. I desire to feel it." That will pave the way for your more and more clearly being able to acknowledge the divinity of each and every thing. And, you will find the experience of its essential divinity emerging more and more, so that you can experience a joyful emotional response to this beautiful Reality.
You see, what I have described here does not have to do with your sending anything from you to something else. It has to do with you, yourself, beginning to open up to recognize what wasn't, perhaps, readily noticeable. What you give is your willingness to receive the true perception of the thing you are looking at. That is Love. And that is healing and transformational, because there is an essential divinity to every single thing, no matter how distorted its appearance may be. When you are willing to not react to the appearance, but desire to be aware of what is truly there and underlying that appearance, you join with that thing at the level of its essential divinity and strengthen it, where others react from their ego level to the appearance, to the ego that is presenting itself, and they strengthen that. They thereby maintain and further substantiate that which is covering the essential divinity of that thing.
There is literally nothing from which it is reasonable for you to withhold your willingness to see its divinity, your willingness to experience its divinity. That is the act of love. You already do this. Not 100%, but what I am saying is not totally foreign to you.
Until you are wide awake, there will always seem to be justifiable reasons for condemning yourself. If you understand that the action of judgment and condemnation is the means by which your finite sense maintains itself, and if you further understand that it maintains itself that way by refusing to recognize the essential divinity of that which underlies that ego sense, then you will be able to see that judgment and condemnation is never valid! It is never to be honored, and you are never to exercise it. It is a false "charge." It is a false claim about you.
The saying is, "If the shoe fits, wear it." I am telling you that what the ego says constitutes a "shoe" that never fits. Therefore, there is never a valid reason for putting it on and wearing it, and then defending yourself.
Magnify what you are doing right! And do not use what you might be doing wrong as a means for anything other than making a decision not to do it any more, and then getting on about the business of magnifying what you are doing right. The magnification of what you are doing right is known as what you call Self-appreciation.
You see, you need to be willing to extend to yourself the same willingness to receive, to be open to the recognition of your essential divinity. That is Love. And when you say, "I would rather be 'on my case' and drive myself into the ground, and make myself miserable because I deserve it," all you are saying is "At the moment I am not willing to be open to the recognition of my divinity You know that when you do that, you do not feel loved by anybody.
Love is something that happens when you let yourself receive the communication that is coming to you from another of his essential divinity. You have it backwards when you think it is something you are to "send" to someone else. To love is to not be preoccupied with irrelevant busy-ness that keeps you from seeing the simple Reality that is confronting you constantly.
QUESTION: Is baptism a phase? And at the end of the baptismal phase, does one normally experience illumination?
RAJ: Of course. But, understand that the whole apparent process of reawakening to one's true, divine Nature and stature is what can be described as "the phase" of baptism. It is always the baptism of the Holy Spirit in human experience, or in individual consciousness. What that really amounts to is the reuniting of the inseparable Wholeness of individual conscious being.
In other words, as long as life is being perceived through the lens of the three-dimensional frame of reference, at least 98% of what one Is becomes disowned and projected "out-there," somewhere separate from oneself. That 98% of the totality of Conscious Individuality is called the Holy Spirit. It is the unrecognized divinity of man, the unacknowledged divinity of man. So, the baptism of the Holy Spirit is the dawning in human consciousness of that Individuality's Totality, his Completeness, and his Oneness with the Father.
The enlightenment is not saved for the end, but is occurring constantly as each one allows himself to discern and incorporate into his Self-awareness his essential divinity. So, do not look at it as a phase, let us say, within the context of a single lifetime—something that might happen between the ages of 30 and 45, or 45 and 60. The baptism of the Holy Spirit is a constant opportunity, and it is an experienced event as each individual allows himself to access his greater capacity to be aware, his capacity to be aware of himself and his world divinely.
Therefore, you could say at this point in your development, that life, itself, is the stage or phase of "baptism," but, that is only apparently so because at this point you are in a process of Awakening.
QUESTION: Could the consecration of the soul to God be considered baptism?
RAJ: The consecration of the soul to God, is a result of baptism that has already occurred. In other words, enlightenment of some sort has to have already occurred before one will have the desire within him, consciously, to commit his soul to God. There has to have arisen already a love for God and a love for one's Soul, and that does not occur in ignorance. So, baptism must have already occurred, or some degree of enlightenment must have already arisen in the individual before he makes that commitment.
Now, the commitment constitutes an act of possessing one's divinity consciously. It constitutes an act that is in total harmony with one's Being. Therefore, once the commitment has been made, one's life begins to be noticeably transformed, because there is this alignment, there is this congruence of one's will at his present level of growth with what you could call the divine Will. So, one's life begins to evidence greater harmony. There are more occasions in which to be able to recognize what one could call "the hand of God" in his experience. And this increases his trust in his commitment and his trust in the fundamental divine nature of Being.
Committing one's soul to God is not something that happens through ritual, but through inner decision. That inner decision arises out of a desire, and that desire arises out of an experience of enlightenment or baptism that has already occurred. The perception that there is something essentially divine about one's Self and about Life does not occur unless enlightenment, or the baptism of the Holy Spirit, has already occurred to some degree.
QUESTION: Does the "true Church" consist only of those souls Who have experienced the phase of baptism?
RAJ: Let me put it this way: It is constituted of those individuals who have completely moved through the phase of baptism. In other words, it is those who are totally Awakened.
Now, I want you to understand that your heart—and I am speaking figuratively—your Soul is the sanctuary through which and in which God expresses Himself. The altar is in the Center of You, and of every Individuality. When you are admonished to go into your closet, it means to go within yourself, within the sanctuary of your Being, to where that eternal flame of Love is forever lit and shining its Light, manifesting Its Purpose without distortion. Therefore, the true Church is not brought into its full expression until the individual is experiencing his absolute divinity without any distorted ego sense covering it up.
I make this distinction between one having moved through the phase of baptism completely and the experiences of illumination, enlightenment, or baptism along the way of his Awakening, so that it will be understood that the "true Church" is not a human organization, but is the full, resplendent expression of the Light of Love that comes from the very Center of every individual when his awareness of himself is not covered up in any way by any lesser self-concept or self-definition.
QUESTION: Explain to me the first resurrection and the second resurrection.
RAJ: The first resurrection was the resurrection of Jesus. It was, you might say, the "sample resurrection," or the "example resurrection." It was to illustrate to all mankind its destiny.
The second resurrection is yours, and Paul's, and every other individuality's. It is all of Mankind discovering and being willing to own his essential divinity as an equal heir with Jesus Christ, and the willingness to own his Birthright. The Second Coming is the awakening of Mankind to his own divinity, to his Christhood, to his original and unalterable Son-ship.
QUESTION: Does the Holy Spirit usually work through the unconscious or subconscious mind?
RAJ: No. If it does not make Its appearance at the conscious level of experience, then the enlightenment hasn't occurred. It only seems to come from that mysterious place you call the subconscious because It functions from a point outside your present, limited frame of reference. But, It addresses Itself to your conscious level of perception or experience.
QUESTION: I agree with what you said, but when I think of the conscious mind, I think of that part of my own mind that is informed externally and encompasses learned or assimilated information that I have conscious control over. I think of the subconscious as that part which is informed internally and is much more intuitive. Maybe I should say inductive and deductive mind.
RAJ: In that sense, you are correct. It does not function through your reasoning abilities or through any level of control. Your enlightenment comes "when ye think not"—when you are not thinking, not in control. That is why it is said that man's extremity is God's opportunity.
When you arrive, for whatever reason, at a point of not knowing what to do, or when you arrive at a point where you are not exercising great manipulative control, and there is a peace in you, the Holy Spirit has the opportunity to speak and be heard. It is information, which is not arrived at through deductive thinking, and in that sense you are correct.
QUESTION: I have a perception that God leaves you in certain places until He's ready to move you someplace else, and that we really have no conscious choice in the matter—and that that, too, takes place through the Holy Spirit.
RAJ: That is true, yes. You are never on your own. You are never truly acting independently. And, literally, when you find yourself confronted by distressing situations, or pain, or extreme lack, or any negative, it is because you, yourself, are attempting to do what you want, and acting at odds with what God is unfolding.
Now, I want you to explore the possibility that your essential Being is synonymous with the word "God." In other words, God is not someone or something afar off from you controlling your destiny. God is the Life-Principle, Itself, which constitutes your Individuality. You could say that your Being is unfolding Its fulfillment, because that is the movement of Life, or God. Therefore, your Being is unfolding your fulfillment, and when you are acting at odds with your essential Being, you hurt, or experience dissonance of one form or another.
I mention this so that you will not unnecessarily continue with a concept of yourself and God as two separate "things," existing, perhaps, even in different areas of space. You are the direct expression of the Father. That is why you are called the Daughter of God. But, God is expressing Himself—or Herself, if you will—and the expression of God is God expressed and called You.
The expression of God is not something different from God. It is the Presence of God in expression. That is why You are essentially and totally divine. That is the Source and substance of your Birthright. Your process of Awakening into the Christ Consciousness, is the Awakening into the Conscious Experience of the Fact that you are inseparable from God, and that all there is to you that is of any substance or Meaning is what God is being.
"I and my Father are one," Jesus said. You and your Father are one. And the Meaning of one's Christhood is that you are no longer claiming any separate selfhood, so that you know that when someone sees you, they are seeing the Father because there truly is nothing else present.
I would like you to explore that deeply, so that you can begin to let go of any sense of distance between you and the Father. It is because the Father is your constituting Presence that you can become, apparently, exalted. I say "apparently" because it only appears that you are exalted, lifted up, because you are presently looking through the lens of the ego, for the most part, and your sense of yourself is greatly diminished from what it Actually is. The exaltation is simply a return to the essential Nature of your Being, which you have never for an instant stopped being.
As long as there is any sense of separation between you and the Father, you will seem to have a justifiable reason for believing that it will be difficult for you to be exalted, to be lifted up, to be enlightened. But, as you begin to understand that there is absolutely no separation, that the Father is your constituting presence, it will become obvious that your Awakening is dependent only upon your release of your conditioned thinking that doesn't allow you to believe that you are the Christ—that you are absolutely divine, that you are the equal heir with Jesus, that you are, indeed, his sister, and that, in fact, the only thing that differentiates you from Jesus is not your origin, but the fact that he released the ego sense before you did!
He knew there was absolutely no difference between you and himself, his disciples and himself, or any of mankind and himself. That is why he admonished everybody to wake up, to see what was already true of them while they walked around shrouded in their ignorance and bound by their limited sense of themselves.
I want you to think about this, too. Because of the virgin birth, the implication has been that Jesus had a more exalted point of origin that makes him different from you. But the Individuality called Jesus pre-existed the event of birth on your planet, just as you pre-existed yours! Therefore, your birth on your planet was not when you came into existence. The Individuality called Jesus and the Individuality called (caller's name) both have the identical origin. You are both the direct expression of the Father. You are identical and equal in Nature, status, and perfection.
So, there are two things here to think about. One is that you and your Father are one, and any sense of separation in time or space from the Father is an illusion, which it will be helpful for you to let go of and replace with a more conscious awareness of your absolute indivisible Oneness. The second is, to release any sense of differentness from Jesus.
When you consider this, be sure and realize that this in no way demeans or limits God or Jesus, but rather provides you with a firmer basis for opening up to your exaltation—which, as I said, simply means a return to the undistorted conscious experience of your fundamental and unalterable divinity.
QUESTION: Some of the current information coming through various channels talks about positive forces on the earth, like the Light workers who are working to change the consciousness on the earth. It seems as though they are battling against what is called negativity or negative forces. Sometimes the word "warring" is used to describe the offset approach of each of these two fields. I know that you do not say there is any such thing as evil. Can you explain what negativity is in this sense? When I hear of the light forces and dark forces, it sounds like a Star Wars scenario.
RAJ: You must understand that the ego is an antagonist. It is, itself, a state of denial. It affirms its sense of things by denying Reality. Now, what this boils down to is that as each Individual maintains his present sense of himself, he denies himself the opportunity to experience himself in his Totality. If you will remember, I spoke of the ego sense as being approximately 2% of the Totality of one's Being, and the other 98% is experienced as projected divinity outside oneself. This is because the ego state is a state of denial of the other 98%.
In that sense, you could say there was a conflict going on. Except that from a totally Awakened viewpoint, it is obvious that this little 2% sense of self is totally illusory. So, there is, in fact, no conflict going on at all—only delusion.
QUESTION: So, there are no such things as negative forces on the earth that are outside of our own consciousness—nothing coming from another planet or another part of the universe that is intervening with the earth in a negative way?
RAJ: That is absolutely correct.
QUESTION: Why is there such a great deal of interest then? Why are there entities coming in to facilitate this shift in Consciousness? What is the big "wahoo" about it?
RAJ: Because there is a Brotherhood. There is a unity, which can only be well described as a Brotherhood of every individualized manifestation of the Father. This shift is an obvious event to one who is totally Awake, and there is great joy at the prospect of this Awakening. You must understand that as long as there are those of the Brotherhood who are asleep, dreaming, the Brotherhood as a Whole is not experiencing Its Totality consciously. So, there is, of course, a great desire to facilitate, as the help is willingly received.
Printed in USA. Copyright © 1984, 85, 86 by Paul Tuttle. All rights reserved.