CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ

JUNE 1986

VOL. 3, NO. 6

 

QUESTION: I seem to find myself in a place that feels sort of stuck, as though I need to make a large bit of movement, and it feels as though it has to do with some real basic core beliefs about prosperity. It also seems to have to do with my own perception of my ego view of myself in the world. I’d like clarification from you about where I am in my process.

RAJ: What is happening here is that you are arriving at a point where there is even greater need for you to release control, to release the exercise of control. The stuck place, the feeling of immobility or lack of movement, as it relates to your money, is because it is time for you to move beyond the techniques that you have been using, and literally, it is a matter of being willing to set techniques aside.

Money is not the manifestation of effort, even though it is treated that way. Your abundance is the manifestation of the Movement of your Being before you do anything to earn it. You are literally at a point where you are being required to open up to the abundance that identifies fulfillment, but not abundance that constitutes a payoff. Your abundance is your birthright. This means you deserve it because completeness is the fact of your Being.

Now, I encourage you to be well aware of your needs, but not as a statement of lack. To be specifically aware of your needs constitutes providing a vessel of proper size to contain the fulfillment of the need. It is like going next door to borrow a cup of sugar and making sure that you take with you a container that will hold one cup of sugar, not less. Then, rather than assuming that it is necessary for you to figure out how to fill that need, let there be a sense of inquisitiveness to see just how your Being is going to unfold the identification of that fulfillment. In other words, listen. Be attentive to the way in which this is going to manifest itself, and do not engage in a personal effort to make it come about.

This does not mean that you will not on occasion discern that there is a need for you to assert an activity that may apparently have remuneration associated with it. It doesn’t mean that you won’t get a phone call from someone saying, “I need some work done. Are you available?” and then subsequently go and do the work and be paid.

The point is that it is not your personal ego responsibility to figure out how to do it and then labor with anxiety to get it done. You see, that is where the control comes in. The exercise of personal responsibility is the exercise of control, which preoccupies you from discerning the fact that it is the intent of your Being to fulfill Itself perfectly and to bring forth that which identifies your fulfillment. Literally, you are being called upon to relax more, to let go and trust into the fundamental Nature of your divine Being. The wall you find yourself up against is simply the “NO” of your Being saying, “It is time for you to release this old mode. Relax. Lean into Me. Watch Me do it and see how You work.”

Obviously what I have described here will involve some change in your perspective about your world and yourself. Now, I’m not saying that you have never done any of this before. What I am saying is not totally unfamiliar to you. But, what I am saying is that it is time for you to dare to go all the way and not flip-flop back and forth between trusting into your Being and depending upon your personal, intellectual, and physical capacities from an ego level. Out of your more centered peace will come the manifestation of your greater abundance.

Abundance is the flow of the Wholeness of your Being. It isn’t something to be acquired. It is something to be experienced and released so that your hands are open to receive more, so that always in the moment you are in, you have available to you that which identifies your Wholeness. The old mode puts you in a position of working to “obtain” or “get.” And because that getting has not arisen out of the Nature of your Being, but out of your acquired skill, there is always the threat of losing it because it hasn’t been obtained from a truly stable inner place. It has been obtained on the basis that it wasn’t yours until you earned it, and therefore it can only be yours as long as you are able to appropriately defend it and thereby keep it.

There is always anxiety associated with that level of operation. But as you are willing to dare to sink out of that level into the primitive level of your Being and Its Nature and Its Intent, and Its constant successful movement of fulfilling Its Intent, then your abundance manifests, as it is needed, as it identifies your fulfillment. There is no need to hang onto it because it becomes apparent that it is there because you are what you Are. You are the full representation of the Life-Principle with nothing withheld, and there is peace with the experience of abundance, and no need for defense.

Again, what you are being asked by your Being is to relax into an even deeper level of your own security, and you are being told that you cannot continue any further in the old mode of getting, and doing your darndest to keep what you get.

QUESTION: What is the connection, then, between this issue and a sense of a lack of fulfillment and challenge in the work I do?

RAJ: Fulfillment is never contrasted with challenge. Fulfillment is not the result of “overcoming.” That is the ego sense of existence, but that is not what is true of Being. Being does not accomplish anything. It is, Itself, Fulfillment. It is always fulfilling Itself successfully because there is nothing unlike It to challenge It.

You are going to have to yield up the desire for the challenge. It is exhilarating, yes. It seems to give meaning to your existence. But, what it really does is give you a chronic case of fear, and it is that fear that seems to make the excitement. Fulfillment is what you experience when you are on track with your Self, when you are flowing with your Being. But that arises out of a peace within you, not out of a sense of challenge and the effective use of skills acquired to deal with these kinds of things and succeeding in being able to take credit for it. Struggle plays no part in the ever-unfolding of your Being. The meaningfulness of the “challenge” is fading because you are growing and your perspective is changing.

I must come back again to the fact that it is the Intent, the divine Purpose of your Being, to fulfill Itself perfectly, and It has infinite capacities with which to do so. This means that your Being is the movement of fulfillment.

You must learn to do what you do because it is what your Being is unfolding, not because there is a marvelous challenge to it. In doing this, you will find that simultaneous with your willingness to flow with the fulfillment that your Being is unfolding will come satisfaction and joy and a real experience of fulfillment because you will know that the fulfillment isn’t something separate from what You Are. It will not be a result of something you are doing from an intellectual level that is not connected with Who and What you really Are. There will be the clearer experience of your Integrity, and it will be obvious that included in your Integrity is your activity in your world—as your world, itself. It is all one infinite expression of Oneness, and that Oneness is what constitutes your Integrity.

I am not speaking philosophically here. We are talking brass tacks. Don’t look for the fulfillment in the activity. Look for the fulfillment within yourself in the Knowing that is available within you that you are harmonizing and flowing with what your Being is unfolding for Its/Your fulfillment. The satisfaction comes from knowing that you are on track.

Again, something that you already know: Dare to trust significantly into what you know deep within yourself, even though you are not always able to maintain that stance consistently. Trusting into it is what will help you learn to stand like a dead weight at your very center, no longer to flip-flop back and forth, no longer to be challenged by your intellectual doubt.

 

 

QUESTION: My question has to do with the intent of our bodies to identify us perfectly on the physical level. It leads me to a question about death. Someone asked, “Is death always a failure?” If the intent of our Being is perfection, I’m interested in knowing the role that death plays, if death is always a conscious choice.

RAJ: It is impossible to perceive death in a four-dimensional awareness. Life is the alpha and omega of Fourth-dimensional Conscious Being—the Christ Consciousness, if you will—the undistorted perception of Reality. Death is an illusion. Life, uninterrupted life, is the reality.

From the three-dimensional frame of reference where death seems to be experienced and seen as real, even though there is much misunderstanding about it, it is always the result of a conscious choice. It is the result of a conscious choice based upon ignorance. It does constitute a giving up, but since it is an illusion, the act—and I mean that in the sense of drama—the act of giving up means nothing. The one who has made such a decision and acted out a death process finds, from the standpoint of his own experience, that absolutely nothing happened to his life—that he is still entirely conscious, that he is still with that which identifies him. He does not find himself to be bodiless.

His definite belief, however, in the act that he is carrying out deprives him of continuing to experience the presence of those he knew, and he does believe that something has happened to him that constitutes a limitation. Obviously he is limited in terms of experiencing those whom he knew prior to this act of death. So passing on does not constitute the threshold of enlightenment. Likewise, those who are “left behind” participate in this act and believe the act, and they blind themselves to their continued awareness of the one who believes he has died.

What must be clearly understood is that it is all a farce! It is all simply a drama in which the actors and those observing the act agree to be ignorant. You could say it is the ultimate act of ignorance, and yet it changes nothing! It does not change the fact that the individual who apparently has passed on continues to be the full representation of the Life-Principle, or God, that he continues to be the Christ acting as though he is stupid, ignorant, limited, and not Christ-like at all.

You each have the freedom to dream as many dreams as you wish. It doesn’t change what you Are. No experience you have can change what you Are. The experience of ignorance, the experience of death, the experience of ill health, does not change what you Are. And, you have never been less than the Son or Daughter, the expression of the Life-Principle, total and complete, functioning in your Totality, present in your Totality, in your Reality. I mean by that the reality of What you Are—not your personal, private, ego “reality” that you think is so all-encompassing and total.

If you had a dream one night in which a frog jumped into a drain pipe, fell through it and vanished, and I were to ask you what part that plays in your life, you would not be inclined to give it any particular value. It is senseless. In the same way, death plays no part in life. It has no value. It is senseless. And, every single one of you in this room at this moment is quite capable, because you have not for an instant stopped being what you divinely Are, of changing your mind and not playing out the traditional drama of death.

Of course, just like those who look forward to graduating from high school and hope that Pomp and Circumstance will be played because that is what they have always associated with a “real” graduation, you can look forward to the traditional mode of moving out of this experience. But, leaving in another way does not invalidate or demean or diminish the meaning of Life. The one who arrives at the graduation ceremonies and discovers that another march is playing that he never heard before and who might feel that his graduation was not as full and meaningful as it was supposed to be, will still find himself graduated!

What life is cannot be changed. How much of what it is that you allow yourself to experience is up to your willingness to look beyond the comfortable patterns that you have adopted and validated and imprisoned yourself with.

QUESTION: You indicated that there is another way to leave. I’d like to know what that means. Were you saying that we have a choice to stay as long as we want?

RAJ: That is quite correct. The other way to leave is by choice. Let us say it is to leave because you want to, in the same way that you can leave your house in the morning because you want to go to the store, or you want to leave for San Francisco to visit friends. There is a way to leave consciously.

Now, you have called it ascension, and that has been a misunderstanding. The word ascension can be better understood if it is defined as what you also call teleportation. The real issue is coming to a point within yourself where the idea of death is seen to be absolutely ridiculous. It is coming to a point where your experience of your Being, of your life, of your being alive, is so clear to you that it is obvious that there is no other choice, no other option.

Now, there truly isn’t any other option, and you have never, ever been anything else but alive, and you never will be anything else but the movement of Life called the conscious experience of Being. As this becomes ultimately and explicitly clear to you, you will no longer think in terms of death. You will not begin to relax “in your later years” and give up the full living of life because you know you’re getting close to your “end”—which is really nothing more than an artificial demarcation in an uninterrupted, ongoing conscious experience of Being. It is like 12 o’clock on your clock. What is 12 o’clock? You cannot touch it, you cannot see it. It is an arbitrary concept, which you utilize to allow yourselves to coordinate with others with some efficiency. But, it is not an actual existent, and neither is the demarcation that you call death.

Once your inner experience of the integrity and the inviolability of your Being, its unchangeableness, becomes obvious to you—when it is being experienced, not thought about—then you will have to find another way to leave. And this place will be one of, as I have said before, a universe-full of places to be. And you will move there and you will move here by choice because that is where you choose to be and because that is where your fulfillment is. And you will be totally Awake, and incarnation and reincarnation will not exist as an experienced belief again.

 

 

QUESTION: Are we able to transcend aging? Can we be in our prime for as long as we choose to be here without becoming old and unhealthy?

RAJ: That is, of course, always the potential because you are ageless Being. But, you are going to have to desire it. You say, “Why? If it is what I fundamentally Am, why doesn’t it automatically happen?” The reason it doesn’t automatically happen is because you believe what you see, hear, taste, smell, and feel. Your eyes tell you that everyone gets old, that everyone goes through a process—that everyone starts out as an infant, helpless, and goes through developmental stages and finally withers and dies—and you have very few examples of other means of departure. But, what is significant is that you do have examples of it. You have definite examples of those who have not gone through the process of the act of death in order to leave.

The moment you begin to desire to not play into this drama of aging, the moment you begin to choose not to validate it, you will run into resistance right from within yourself—arguments. You are conditioned by any number of sources, not just your eyes. It is going to be extremely valuable for you to use as a focus the examples that have already been set by those who have ascended, who have not died in order to leave this wonderful part of the infinitude of Mind.

It will be helpful for you to pursue whatever increases your ability to be aware of your Self as absolutely divine, whatever promotes Your paying more and more attention to the deepest levels of your Knowing, whatever turns you back upon your Self as opposed to the everyday, finite, ego sense of self.

You will have to go against the grain of the conditioning. You are going to have to be willing to believe that the drama, the trauma, the act of dying, doesn’t change what you Are in any way, shape or form, and that you are at this instant and at every instant the total manifestation of the Life-Principle without any distortion having successfully been applied to that expression. You are going to need to be aware that that is truly the fact of you in the instant of consciousness that you are experiencing at this moment and at every moment, and that it isn’t something for you to attain or achieve off in the future, especially after you have passed on.

It has been truly said that death is not the stepping-stone to Life. Every single element that is needed in order to experience Life without distortion, to experience Life as God perceives it, is present at this instant and constitutes your Individuality, your conscious identity. There never was a fall from grace. There never was a point when you became less than what God created you to be. There was never a point at which any of your birthright was taken away from you.

What has happened is that you, at some point have chosen to indulge in a very finite view which causes you to seem to be separated from the conscious awareness of your Totality. And, I will tell you this: One of the reasons that it happened is because it is thrilling to do it. Ignorance, if one can maintain the fine balance, is scary, because one loses his sense of his Integrity. He loses his awareness of his invulnerability. He experiences threat, danger. It is exciting! It is something, which you are totally capable of doing as a divine Being. But, in doing it, the excitement, the thrill, is often overwhelming enough to cause you to forget significantly, so that it does not occur to you to realize that this is not real and you are not bound by the isolated, fear-ridden dynamic that you are experiencing.

I am speaking to you today, and others are speaking to others, to remind you, in the midst of your thrilling ignorance, that there is more to be experienced, that there is more that you have forgotten, and to trigger in you your capacity to unhook yourself so that you not only can find your peace, but your joy, and your experience of your permanence, which we could also call your eternality.

I will give you another clue: You think of eternity incorrectly. Eternity is not endless time; it is the absence of time. It is the experience of total, unlimited, nonfinite Being, which is forever unfolding itself anew, but which is never moving in a direction. Infinity has no place outside of Itself into which it can move. So, therefore, Being is permanently stable, forever what it is, while at the same time unfolding or moving in the process of identifying Itself fully as fulfillment. Life is life. It is the movement of Totality in the Now, having not the limitations of time and space.

 

 

QUESTION: What constitutes the process of awakening? Where are the levers and buttons, and how do I go about it?

RAJ: There is one significant button, which every one of you will be able to relate with. That button is your desire. The most effective or efficient path, you might say, is to regularly take time to become still within yourself and then clearly, uncomplicatedly, express your desire for enlightenment, for clarification that will carry you beyond your present sense of things, your present mind sets. There is more and more information becoming available to man through processes like the one we are engaged in this afternoon, that reveal the fact that there is more to you than you are presently experiencing, and that there is more to life than is presently contained within your present capacity to be aware.

The reason for this is to trigger your memory, to trigger that in you which has not forgotten, really, that there is more to you than what you are presently experiencing. This causes a movement in you, a curiosity in you to learn about it, and that is your desire. That desire is not intellectual because it is arising from a very deep memory. It is arising out of a clarity within you that has not been totally obscured by your ego sense. It is literally the illumination of an ever present sanity in you that is the Sanity of your Self, which hasn’t gone anywhere, even though you are currently not embracing it, not validating it, because of your myopic, three-dimensional-only point of view, and the fact that you gather almost all of your data from the five physical senses, which, as you know, are not even capable of experiencing the full spectrum of their particular areas of attention. Your eyes cannot see the full spectrum of light. Your ears cannot hear the full spectrum of sound, et cetera.

So, in becoming still, you are being willing to set aside all of those things, which you are fairly confident about. You are in a place where you are not actively bringing into play your sureness about the way things are. In your peace you are not defensive. You are allowing, and so you are able to begin to experience a broader range of attention. You are able to access territories of your Being, which you have left unexplored for a long time, and it happens because of your desire.

That truly is the only button there is to push. Once the button is pushed, then you find that other things, like trust and humility, come into play—trust that what you are allowing yourself into is not dangerous, even though your conditioned thinking will tell you that you are going off the deep end. It simply means that you are going beyond what you have been conditioned to believe is truth.

Humility is the willingness on your part to assume that you don’t know anything for sure, because anything of which you are absolutely sure constitutes a mental structure. And those things, of which you are sure, because of the data you have gotten through the five physical senses, constitute faulty structures. These faulty structures sit on your horizon, constituting thereby a sieve through which Reality comes and which causes your perception of It to be distorted because it is incomplete.

So, there is desire, which you allow yourself to feel, and that constitutes the pushing of the button, and then there is the development of trust and the willingness to not be sure of anything, and there is inevitably enlightenment and growth.

The most significant thing about the information, which is being provided at this point in time, is that your essential Being is the very presence of God; that what God is is what constitutes the entire fabric of your Individuality. Therefore, when you are letting go of your preconceptions, your mental conditioning, your ego structures, you are not opening yourself up to chaos. You are opening yourself up to the clearer experience of what God is as God is expressing Himself and seen as you.

On this basis, then, it is easier to trust and it is easier to let go of the habit of ego control. You will still only move as fast as it is comfortable for you to move. You will not overwhelm yourself. But your forward movement will be much easier based on the confidence that what you are opening yourself up for is the clearer, more integrated conscious experience of your Being. And as a result of that inherent integrity, having the opportunity to discover the orderliness and the harmony and the oneness of your world.

I suppose I could tell you that there were 2,000 buttons, like Easter eggs hidden for your delight to find, but which it might be sort of hard to find. That would please the ego because it loves a challenge. But, there really is only one button, and that button is your desire, and therefore, the process of awakening is not complicated. Keep it as simple as I have described.

 

QUESTION: There’s just one large confusion, and it deals with the varieties of expressions of God and how Jesus and Buddha and Babaji and all these different avatars relate to ordinary people...

RAJ: There is only one path for you to serve, and that is your path. There is only one Individuality for you to companion with, let us say, and that is your Self. You are not here to serve anyone or anything but that essential, divine movement of consciousness called your Individuality, which is truly the presence of the Creative Principle, the Father, or God. It is your Self to which you must be true. You must always bring any information, any concepts or ideas that you hear, back within yourself and measure them against your deepest level of Knowing. If they are supportive of your development, if they bring you peace, incorporate them. If they don’t, discard them.

Leaders, avatars, gurus, churches, philosophies, are not here to be served. They are here to serve each one in his individual process of Awakening. It is not intelligent for you or anyone else to follow someone else. You give your power away that way, and giving your power away is Self-denial. It is the absence of Self-appreciation, replaced by an appreciation for someone else, and that is inappropriate. It causes Self-ignorance because you are ignoring yourself in preference to someone else.

At the bottom line, you know the truth, and at the bottom line anyone you have ever followed is someone who substantiated that truth that you knew You are not stupid! You have never followed someone whose teaching you could not comprehend or agree with in any way, shape, or form. You make the mistake of thinking that in following this one, you are doing it because of their greatness or their energetic presence, which is obviously valuable, and you overlook who it is that is recognizing that value. It is you. You are the one who knows it’s of value because that value is not covered up in you! You are always the essential focus.

So, whether it is books, whether it is gurus, whether it is Raj, whether it is Ramtha, whether it is your father, whether it is your sister, whether it is your dog who contributes in some way to the triggering of your remembrance, remember that it is something in you, which recognized it, because Who and What you Are divinely is what is motivating you to the clearer experience of that which you Are. You know it all already! So, these books, these resources, are there to serve you. You are not here to serve them.

When they no longer promote your growth, gratefully set them aside because they helped you get to the point where you could move on, and do not engage in any false sense of guilt, as though you are being unfaithful. To the degree that you are being unfaithful to your Self, you are doing the only unintelligent thing.

But, to honor your Self and not give your allegiance to anything except that which you know is true, is intelligent.

You may well find those who are providing information, which is being helpful to you who are still coming from an ego place. And if it is someone who is incarnated at this time, you can count on it that there is some degree of ego present. It is not wrong for you to acknowledge the value that you have received, but if they insist that it is a part of your Awakening, a part of your spiritual development, to give your allegiance to them, you may know that that is invalid. And, just because some of what they say is of value does not mean you are obligated to take it all, hook, line, and sinker. You have the authority to use what is of value and discard what is not.

 

 

QUESTION: Is there anything you can say about my personal confusion of good and evil and the fact that it kind of ties up my whole emotional nature so that, you might say, you reach to God with one hand, and yet you’re holding in the other hand the question of why there’s so much ego. And there seems to be sort of a split in the devotional commitment because of that, and it ties me up pretty good. Where did it come from?

RAJ: Good and evil are confusing. They are conflicting, opposing. If you try to understand them, you will be confused, because one is an illusion and one is real. All life, viewed from within the ego’s frame of reference, is experienced in a conflicted way—opposing forces. It is conflict, which the ego thrives on and cannot exist without. Therefore it is your childhood, it is every past life you have ever had, because all of it has gone on in the three-dimensional frame of reference, and every bit of it has substantiated the reality of “Good versus Evil.” Therefore, it is absolutely unnecessary for you to go back to find out where it came from. It didn’t come from a place in time.

Listen very carefully. There are two places from which to experience Life. Those two places exist in this moment. One of them is the surface, reactive level of your consciousness—your ego sense. Your ego sense has been developed on the basis of the information gathered from the five physical senses. All of your senses tell you that you are a tiny part of a huge universe, that you are separated and isolated from every other form, every other Individuality, and that fundamentally your environment is hostile and requires you to be defensive, self-protective.

On this basis, you have developed a personality, an ego sense of self, which has become highly skillful at defending itself against its conflicted world. But, at the very same time that all of this sense of life is going on, there is, right at the center of you, you might say, the jewel, the essential Reality of your Being. You cannot have an illusion of nothing! You cannot have a distortion of nothing! It is always a distortion of Something. And so, this private, finite ego sense of self is a distortion of an essential Self that you Are. You are able to access this vantage point, the vantage point of your Being, by learning to become still.

Meditation is a very effective means of becoming still, stilling the senses, you might say, stilling the mind sets, the programming, the belief structures, which seem to validate a conflicting world of good and evil. When you are centered, your gut is not clutching you. You are not experiencing fear. You are not experiencing anxiety.

Now, doing a meditation is not like taking a Valium. It is not the creation of an artificial peace. The centered peacefulness that you experience is the direct experience of the Nature of your Being. You are feeling what the essential You is like, what Its Nature is, what is normal to It, what is real about It.

So, this is one of the vantage points you have, and the ego reactive level where good and evil are always in conflict is another. You see, this simplifies things, because you do not have to resolve the problem of good and evil. You have to resolve where you are going to stand to observe and live Life. Through becoming still, through becoming centered, it becomes easier and easier to deal with your life from a more centered place. Eventually—or as quickly as you will allow it—you will live life from your centered perspective in which good and evil do not exist to be dealt with. From the centered perspective of your Being you have the clarity with which to deal with apparent conflict, cutting through it and resolving it so that it dissolves and disappears and no longer claims to validate itself as a real presence.

You will never be able to stand in the ego’s frame of reference and actually overcome evil. If you were able to overcome it, there would be no conflict and the ego sense would vanish, and your ego will not let that happen. You cannot view things from the three-dimensional-only frame of reference, the ego sense, and be free of conflict. Conflict is inherent in that frame of reference. Those who are Awakening are those who are beginning to make a more conscious choice to be centered, even though all of their conditioning is screaming at them that they are being foolish, irresponsible idiots.

So, in a nutshell, the resolution is in the recognition that there are only two vantage points, that there is a need for a choice between the two, that the appropriate choice is for the vantage point of your Being. And then to act on that choice, because when you have made the choice and committed to it, the conflicted ego-centered choice loses the wind in its sails and comes to a sputtering stop and forever ceases to be a choice again. Don’t make it any more complicated than that, even though it has seemed to you to be an overwhelming problem to resolve.

Printed in USA. Copyright © 1984, 85, 86 by Paul Tuttle. All rights reserved.