VOL. 3, NO.11



QUESTION: The problem I'm faced with is that I'm $20,000 in debt. We have two clunkers for cars. And even though I've made more at this time than I did all last year, I seem to never get ahead. I'm also feeling burned out on my job, and a disconnectedness with life. Over the years, the feeling comes up that "It's not worth it." Also tied in with this, it's like I envision a wonderful, rich life awaiting me, yet it's like I'm doing all I can to avoid it. There's all this metaphysical knowledge I've acquired and I'm not putting it to use.


RAJ: You have been conditioned to think that your thoughts are the creative force in your life. And I would like you to consider the image of the ocean at a place where it is very deep. The image should also include the surface, where there are lots of waves, a lot of dynamic activity. Down deep are what we could call the deep currents of your Being, and the surface level is the limited sense of personality and ego, which is always in a state of reactive and conflicting dynamics -- turbulent, if you will.


Now, in spite of what you have been taught about the power of your thoughts, your thinking could be translated into the image of the accumulation of air that causes you to become buoyant enough to be brought up nearer the surface of the ocean, and pulls you out of the deeper currents of your Being and Its flow of fulfillment. You see, the harder you try to use your mind the right way, and the harder you use it to create your success, the more it distracts you from experiencing the fulfillment of your Being, which is actually the fundamental and all-inclusive movement of your Being.


What I want you to understand is that your ability to think and reason should be utilized in a positive way to bring you to an intellectual grasp of the fact that there is enough Principle, enough Order, and enough Love to the Nature of Life, Itself, that you can dare to let the thinking go and tap into your deepest levels of Knowing. The end result of attempting to be consciously in charge, and consciously, purposefully responsible for your success, will always keep you from discovering that your very Existence is the movement of fulfillment. It will keep you from relaxing enough to discover that your success and fulfillment is your Birthright.


If your ability to think and reason does not bring you to the point of being able to let go, then it can only create a sense of increasing responsibility without ever attaining fulfillment, and that, in itself, creates the feeling that "it's not worth it." The reason you end up with that feeling is because in effect you are going against the grain of your Being, and you are attempting to duplicate, through manipulation of things that do not need to be manipulated, the inherent success that your Being is unfolding, and which you would experience if you relaxed enough to flow with It.


Metaphysically speaking, your reasoning should move you to the point where there is such a conviction that God is All that you, in your limited sense of yourself, can dare to lean back into this Allness that God is. And in doing that, find yourself able to access the Wisdom of God as literally your Wisdom; and the knowledge and perception of Reality, so that you are no longer experiencing it in any way out of tininess and inadequacy.


Now, when you meditate, you are literally allowing your point of awareness to sink back to the fundamental level of your Being. It allows you to move out of the surface, reactive, ego level. And when you have moved into your experience of Peace, I encourage you to desire to know or experience what you love, because what you love is what constitutes the fulfillment of your Being. And there will be endless energy available to you to pursue that fulfillment of what you love. You will feel vitalized, energized, far from passive, far from lackadaisical, and what you do will bear fruit. It will prosper because you are being consistent with your Purpose, with your Self.


It is very important to be patient with yourself as you begin to let yourself into your greater capacity to be aware by becoming still. Do not be demanding. Do not say, "Well, I have been doing this now for such and such a period of time. I expect more results than this." This brings a level of the exercise of control into what is happening, and, again, that is an ego dynamic.


Value what you experience just a little bit below the surface. I am not suggesting that you don't. But, let there be even more investment of faith in what you experience below the reactive, surface level, and be willing to more vehemently challenge the reactive thoughts and the frustration. I want you to understand that that dynamic -- reaction/frustration -- is only experienced when you are up at the surface. They are part and parcel of one's experience at the surface, but they are not part and parcel of Life; they are not part and parcel of Reality.


You are on the right track. And you are, indeed, daring to be open to some other avenue than "mental control" and "creating your future by means of your thoughts," but it is new to you to release that. And so I am assuring you that you are on the right track, and I encourage you to persist. There is a saying: Let go, and let God. I will modify that: Let go, and flow with your Being.


Persist with this, so that you may have the opportunity to discover that, indeed, your fulfillment does lie in this direction. Persist with it long enough to find a higher level of order and harmony unfolding that doesn't make you personally responsible and allows you to discover that the little ego sense of self does not have to struggle to survive because Life is the eternal, unchangeable Constant; that your conscious experience of Being is that unchangeable, eternal Constant. And, as I said, that fulfillment is the Movement of your Being.


QUESTION: I guess that along with that feeling of, "It's not worth it," has been a lack of conviction. So, given how I've set things up for myself, it's like more than I can do to muster up the energy to meditate. Once I'm there, I'm glad I'm doing it. There have been times in my life when I had more conviction.


RAJ: This is just another opportunity to use your ability to think on your behalf. Your ability to reason and think can be consciously utilized to move you to a point of doing what you know is wise, even if you are not feeling it. Most thinking leads one to do that which is unwise, but you are equally able to use your thinking for positive reasons.


Just as you know that you might not feel like eating a balanced meal, your ability to reason tells you to do it anyway! So, I do encourage you to reason your way to your meditation, if you need to, simply because it is the expression of intelligence, and it is in your best interest to actually decide to sit down and do a meditation, whether you feel like it or not.


In other words, you can use your thinking to govern yourself intelligently, so that you get to the place where you can set the thinking aside and connect with your Center.


When you are emerging from the ego sense of life, you can use the very elements, which support the ego sense to support your awakening. You are going to be using your mind, one way or another, positively or negatively. So, I encourage you to consciously use it positively to facilitate the extremely intelligent act of sitting down and becoming centered. You use it to get to work. You use it to see to it that you have income whether you feel like it or not, whether you have a lot of energy for it or not. And I encourage you to use it the same way so that you end up becoming centered and having that experiential reminder of your Integrity, of your Peace, and of your Joy.


QUESTION: On this amount of money I'm in debt: I've considered the option of bankruptcy. It wouldn't be with the intent of not paying them, but it's like I've been making payments for fifteen years, and there's part of me that wants a break from it. My tendency, when this comes up, is to contract. I'm cautious about this because I know what I really want to do is expand and be more prosperous.


RAJ: As long as your feet are "dug in," you are in the act of resisting, or denying Life. So, you must take an intelligent look here and make a choice between denying Life and feeling more and more depressed and frustrated, or making a decision or choice for Life and flowing with It.


Understand that the energy you are using to resist Life is what depletes you and causes you to feel like you don't have energy for Life, or for your fulfillment, and that therefore you are getting an incorrect message. It is not that you do not have energy for Life. It is not that you do not have energy for taking the steps that identify your fulfillment. It is that you are using the energy for something else, and it is creating the sense that you are too tired to live.


I am not implying here that you are preferring or contemplating death. But I do want you to understand that that is what is at the end of the road when you are indulging in the denial of Life, or the resistance of It. I bring this out clearly like this to promote your forward movement, to light a fire under you so that you do not passively play into the illusion that "it isn't worth it," because that is the only thing that is worth anything.


In the final analysis, what you would experience that everyone else would call "death," is simply the sharp, snapping forward of you, so that you are once again actively engaged in your forward movement. You never have the choice not to be. It doesn't exist as a choice! So, your resistance will only bring you face to face with that fact, comfortably or uncomfortably.


Be willing to be very clear on this point. You will grow, you will unfold, your fulfillment will occur, comfortably or uncomfortably! It might as well be comfortably, but that is your decision.


You have the opportunity to turn something that is choiceless into the comfortable experience of your fulfillment or the uncomfortable experience of your fulfillment. I am talking brass tacks here because you need to see it very clearly, with no emotionalism -- just black and white brass tacks. What do you want?


Now, when you experience your fulfillment negatively, uncomfortably, your fulfillment seems to be "lack." But, only because you are resisting it, only because you are justifying not having it, in some way, in your mind. So, what is actually a movement of fulfillment becomes a movement of stress. What I want you to be very clear on, is that fulfillment is what you are experiencing, either way -- positively or negatively. There is no other option.


You can see this more clearly if we do not use the word "fulfillment," but we use the word "Life." You will always exist, whether it is here or not. You have no choice about that. It is a given Fact of your Being, and the experience can be either wonderful or terrible, pleasant or unpleasant, smooth or rough -- but the Fact of your Existence is unalterable! Likewise, your fulfillment is unalterable. It is the only thing going on. But, when you resist it, the fulfillment becomes a negative forward movement -- an uncomfortable movement, but forward movement nevertheless, because there is no other option.


Now, I encourage you not to declare bankruptcy. It will not constitute relief of any kind if you are still resisting. Your fulfillment will still seem to be the absence of fulfillment. So, if you really want to do something to improve your lot, then stop the resistance, so that you are in line with, or congruent with fulfillment as fulfillment, so that you will have the opportunity to find that these debts can be paid without indefinite struggle, but joy, and a sense of relief!



QUESTION: Speak to me about affirmations and the role they play in spiritual growth, and could you give me some affirmations that would be helpful to me?


RAJ: The concept of "affirmations" and their use tends to instill the idea that one's thinking can have power over circumstances and events. As a result, the term "mental power" and "mind power" has developed -- positive mental action, et cetera. But, you see, it is this sense of the use of one's puny little mind, almost as a creative force in one's life, that causes one to never discover the underlying Orderliness of Life, and the fact that, indeed, it is a movement, always, of fulfillment. One becomes very busy with his thinking using it as a tool to bring about what he feels are desired results or effects.


In the final analysis, this brings along with it a tremendous sense of burden and personal responsibility, and at the bottom line, it effectively denies the presence of a universal Life-Principle, a universal Wisdom; God, if you will. It also prohibits the individuality exercising this mental control through affirmations from discovering that this universal Wisdom is inherently his or hers and is experienced as Knowing without any thought process to it.


Now, it certainly is beneficial to have a positive attitude, rather than indulging in a negative attitude. But, the end result of a positive attitude should be the ability to stop thinking, because there is an absence of negativity or fear, so that one can directly access what we have been describing as his intuitive Knowing. So, I cannot indulge the idea that you would be able to get affirmations from me. I would not attempt to do it.


What I will do and have done is state the truth as clearly as it can be stated and have you understand it so that you are in a position of acknowledging the truth. And that is a different matter from affirming the truth, because it does not bring into play any sense of using any personal mental mind-power to accomplish anything.


When you know the truth, you are not inclined to indulge in illusion, and you are in a position of discerning Reality without the distortions that accompany the indulgence of illusion.


QUESTION: What about the idea of fulfilling one's desires through the art of mental energy and affirmation? If I understood what you said, that is invalid.


RAJ: That is correct. Where is the desire going to spring from that is going to be actualized? You see, when it comes from the intellectual, ego level, then one ends up wanting or desiring what he thinks he needs in order to maintain or establish a position -- among other things. But the simple fact is that in learning to become still, and listening within, one finds himself becoming aware of what he deeply desires, which has nothing to do with ego concepts of position, power, competition, or struggling to survive.


The simple fact is that the desire that comes from the level of one's intuitive perception, or the level of ones Being, already includes within itself everything necessary to its fulfillment, and no personal, private sense of mental energy needs to be employed to actualize that fulfillment.


This is a very important point, because, you see, as long as one is employing his limited mentality in an endeavor to create, he will always be creating out of his past experience, out of his memory banks, you might say. And in order for the vitality and Reality of Life to emerge in Its purity, so that it is experienced fully, It must come out of a level that goes beyond one's memory, one's conditioning, one's belief systems.


It is essential at this point in time for creative visualization and every mental technique to be set aside, so that one is not so busy that he is unable to access his deepest levels of Knowing and Wisdom.


QUESTION: Does this mean that most of Christian prayer is not valid, not to be desired?


RAJ: That is correct. The statement is, "Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." It does not say, "Ye shall think the truth, and your thoughts shall make you free." To know the truth, one must be still in order for the truth to be revealed. And that is what is commonly called "intuition," and not so commonly called "revelation." But, you see, what is revealed there is something that has far more substance than any amount of mental energy one could muster behind a thought. It is a Knowing that involves no doubt and no need for positive arguments in order to establish what is thought as a reality.


Knowing the truth releases one from any need to create it.



QUESTION: Regarding an old ego game of mine that Iíve been playing in relationship to my heart chakra, why on two occasions recently, with a sincere caring intention, and my defenses down, do I continue to feel so vulnerable in situations where I feel I am acting from my heart and not my ego?


RAJ: Mainly because although there was a willingness to be defenseless, there was also present a sense of being defenseless in the presence of danger. In other words, you did not truly feel that you were in the presence of the Christ. This is understandable, but the fly in the ointment was that in feeling or allowing yourself to be defenseless, your attention was not on your defenselessness, but who you were in the presence of while you were being defenseless.


You see, if you become defenseless, and you pay attention to your Self, you will find that you are experiencing Peace. I will give you an example. When Paul is working with individuals who are conversing with me, and he lets his attention wander from me and what I am relaying, and he becomes focused on the stress or distress of the individual speaking with me, his own ego reactions begin to arise. And he finds himself going through various levels of anxiety, because he immediately begins to feel that there is a call for him to respond to the picture, or the story, or the feeling that the individual I am speaking with is presenting.


The moment Paul begins to feel that he must in some way be sensitive to the Individual calling, rather than being sensitive to me, he is drawn out of his Peace. And although I am still present and able to be clearly heard by Paul, Paul does not experience his Peace.


Now, the result of being defenseless and paying attention to your experience of your Self in that defenselessness is meaningful communication, and the one you are dealing with does feel blessed, does feel the absence of any need to be defensive himself/herself. That is the result. And it appears as though you have been sensitive to this other one.


As I have said before, the most direct route to your fellow man is right through the center of your Being. This simply means that when you are centered within your Self, you are in that Place where there is no separation between you and your brother. So, when you become defenseless, do not scan the horizon, do not scan the group, do not scan the individual you might be with, do not be sensitive to everyone else and where they might be coming from in response to your defenselessness.


Pay attention to your Self. Literally stay at home within your Self. There is where your Peace is present to be experienced. Doing this will not cause you to disconnect from the setting or be, in effect, daydreaming, and unaware of what is transpiring in a conversation. You will hear it, but because you are paying attention to what response comes out of your Peace, your responses will be appropriate, and will demonstrate a Oneness that the other will experience as your paying very close attention to him/her, and understanding.


So, the key is not to become defenseless and then have part of your attention scanning the group, being sensitive to an individual external to you. This is something you have to learn. To you it will feel like you are not paying any attention to the group or what the individual might be trying to get you to see, or trying to get you to understand. But, if your attention is given to your Peace, you will find yourself understanding from a much deeper level than the ego fear, concern, or issue that this one whom you are with might be expressing.


When you respond from what you find yourself Knowing, you will hit the nail on the head, and the individual will feel touched, and communication will have occurred. I encourage you to experiment with this.


You see, each one comes to you for the purpose of having his/her divinity recognized, even though out of their mouth, they seem to be demanding that their ego be recognized. So, if you are sensitive to where they are currently coming from, you will be uncomfortable, and you will tend to come from your ego and there will be the experience of conflict or anxiety. But, when you are listening deeply within your Self, so that you are able to hear out from your Peace, your response will be directed to the divinity of that one, and that is why that one will feel heard and touched.


QUESTION: I'm interested in being able to laugh more and enjoy the humor side of this life and this world. Where do I start?


RAJ: Very simply, Joy accompanies Peace. As you insist upon coming from your best centered place, generally speaking, and as you take time to specifically sit down and become centered, where you are experiencing your Peace, you will find emerging out of that Peace an unaccountable and indescribable Joy--not an overwhelming one, but one that is clear as a bell, unavoidably what It is. And you will find that Joy being more and more present when you are in the midst of your daily activities.


Do not try to find the humor in your world, or in the events. The Joy is in you, and it will flow in response to your world and to the events. I encourage you to read the two volumes of Conversations with JC and consider the meaning of coming up to the high joy place. That place is in you, and it is smack dab in the middle of your Peace, and it is constantly present with you. You will get a lot out of going through those two volumes with that focus in mind.


QUESTION: I have been using, "Thy will be done" quite regularly regarding recruiting funds and registrants for our workshops. Rather than just saying, "Thy will be done" I wish to really believe and be committed more to this statement. Can you give me some guidance in this area?


RAJ: I do not want you to make it any more complicated than the simple acknowledgment, "Thy will be done." I also do not want you to think that you are not doing enough in that acknowledgment. It is important for you to know that it is sufficient in itself.


You acknowledge, "Thy will be done" -- meaning "not my will." Then, simply be attentive, receptive, the rest of the time to any guidance relative to His Will and your part to play in expressing It. The statement, "Thy will be done," serves as a reminder to you that you do not want to get caught up in your best reasoning, or your best thoughts about what could be done or what needs to be done. It is a means of silencing your will by giving your attention to His Will.


As I indicated before, the ego has no defense against disregard. When you are saying, "Thy Will be done," you are disregarding the ego. It is important for you to know that that simple statement is sufficient, and that you do not have to find something more high-powered to do.



QUESTION: In a previous conversation, you indicated that the Holy Spirit is not bound by or excluded from electromagnetic fields. Can you explain that to me?


RAJ: Literally, what you call electromagnetic fields are distorted perceptions of the energy of Spirit, the presence of the Life-force, Itself. In other words, it is not truly the presence of a different energy, but it is a false perception of the one infinite Harmony of Being. Electromagnetic fields have a positive and negative pole, we shall say. This is a division that is not present in the energy of Spirit, and actually the perception of positive and negative is simply that -- a perception, and not an actuality.


The process of perceiving through the limited ego sense causes everything of a unified, single Nature to appear to be divided into opposing poles, or conflict of one sort or another. So, in this way you can understand that the Holy Spirit is not confined by, governed by, or affected in any way by electromagnetic fields, and, in fact, is unaware of them, because It is not suffering from any distortion of perception.


In the process of Awakening, as each one opens up to the Holy Spirit and Its help in promoting clarification, the sense of duality through which everyone perceives things begins to dissolve, and greater and greater harmony becomes apparent. This is not because the negative is gotten rid of. It is because the fact that it was never present is becoming illuminated, is becoming uncovered.


QUESTION: What you're saying is that within the Body of Christ, there is the movement of Being, so to speak, that presents illusions in one's development towards wholeness?


RAJ: No. It cannot promote or cause illusions. But, when the Body of Christ, when the Brotherhood of Man, when individualities are experiencing and observing the Kingdom of Heaven through the lens of the ego, the Kingdom of Heaven becomes polarized, or appears to be polarized, and that, itself, is the illusion, the illusory sense. But, it is always an illusory sense of Reality, and does not constitute a separate reality -- a second creation that is false. It simply constitutes a distorted experience of Reality. But, that distortion never arises out of Reality, Itself.


QUESTION: So, what you're saying is that the distortion does not come from within the Body of Christ. It comes from outside the Body of Christ. Is that true?


ANWER: Let me put it this way. There is no outside to the Body of Christ, because It is infinitely present. It is possible for Fourth-Dimensional Conscious Being -- it is possible for individualities -- to view Life from any level of the four dimensions: the first, second, third, or fourth. If one chooses to view it from within the third-dimensional frame of reference, the shift automatically brings into play a sense of limitation and separation. It is inherent in the level from which Reality is being observed.


Now, one could say, then, that the illusion is arising from the Fourth-dimensional conscious experience of Being, because the third, second and first are embraced in the fourth, but it is not that Reality is creating illusion. It is not that the Body of Christ or the Brotherhood of Man is creating illusion. It is just that when Reality is viewed from anywhere other than the Fourth-dimensional conscious experience of Being, there is automatically the experience of limitation.


The experience is the evidence of the fact that one has forsaken his Fourth-dimensional conscious level of experiencing Life. Its discomfort, its problems, are indicators that do not allow that one to forget that he has, in fact, forsaken the infinite view, and the discomfort should trigger one's movement back. Unfortunately, though, there are those who have, let us say, taken up the "challenge" of the sense of separation, and they have become bound to attempting to succeed at living with fulfillment in the middle of conflict.


This is why there is so much help available to all of mankind at this moment who are coming from the three-dimensional frame of reference, because they have literally become bound by the illusion and are taking the challenge of the conflict, not as a reminder to access their infinite capacity to be aware, but rather to succeed at experiencing fulfillment right there in the midst of conflict.


Again, the illusion of separateness is inherent in the mechanical move from the Fourth-dimensional conscious experience of Being to the three-dimensional frame of reference. The illusion is never real, and so it has never been created, and one could never logically come to the conclusion that illusion has arisen out from the Body of Christ.


QUESTION: Does God choose the awakening process? Does God choose when to awaken people?


RAJ: Absolutely not! The only way one can wake up, the only way one can make the shift back to the Fourth-dimensional conscious experience of Being, is as a result of an inner desire. The inner desire is prompted by a triggering of the remembrance that there is more to Life than what is currently being experienced. One can never truly, completely forget the Reality of his Being, and so there is always present, no matter how far it has been pushed down below the surface, the Knowledge, the Knowing, the Feeling of one's essential divinity.


As that begins to emerge, the desire increases, even though one does not consciously know the full meaning of what he is desiring. You see, Individuality is quite capable of experiencing Itself, as I said, from any of the dimensions. It is not a disobedience to move into any of those levels of awareness. It is just that it truly does constitute a limitation on one's experience that is not ever totally comfortable because those lesser dimensions are not native to that Individuality. But, each one has the capacity and the right to do it.


God is not sitting someplace deciding when an Individuality will or will not wake up. It must occur as the result of a heartfelt desire, coupled with some degree of insight or intuition of the Reality of one's Being that causes him to persist in challenging the sense of limitation he is confronted by, so that he may be released from it.


As it happens, at this point, relatively speaking, there are so few who are caught in a limited experience of Reality, and there are so many more of the Brotherhood of Man who are awake, that the ease with which those who are still bound can become released from their limitation, their illusions, is greatly enhanced. There is a spontaneous awakening that is occurring, and we will, shortly, no longer have any one of the Brotherhood of Man who are experiencing anything less than the Fourth-dimensional conscious experience of Being -- the experience of being totally Awake.


You see, it is not that there is help available, and because the help is available, mankind is waking up, and therefore there is a shift going on. It has not been started by God. It has not been triggered by Guides or the Holy Spirit. The fact that the help is available is a response to the desire that mankind, generally, is experiencing. So, the response and the help is more and more evident. But, the awakening is not occurring because of a universal dictum from God, and it is not being caused by the spiritual guidance that is surfacing more and more in your world. It is surfacing because it is being desired by mankind.


This is very important to understand, else, the sense of one's individual integrity will be violated. It will be demeaned. One cannot wake up if he is not consciously in charge, consciously expressing his desire, consciously feeling that there is more to Life than he is experiencing at the moment, and the movement starts within individual man, individual woman, individual children, et cetera.



Conversations With Raj is published monthly by Kairos, Inc., P.O. Box 71280 Seattle, Washington, U.S.A. 98107. Subscription price, prepaid, one year $36.00; single copy, $4.00. © 1986 Paul Norman Tuttle. All rights reserved.