CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
Vol. 2 No. 3
QUESTION: This question has to do with my experience of internal resistance when I feel like I have to do something in the physical world. Can you talk to me about what is going on there and what I can do about it?
RAJ: It arises out of a very definite split or dichotomy in your awareness of your Self. Your world is You, but you are treating it as though it were different and separate, and you are not allowing yourself to experience the natural harmony, which is there because of the Oneness of it. What you are resisting is a negative concept of the world, which could only arise because you are not able to consciously own it as some aspect of your Self.
The more you can walk through your world and acknowledge, "This is me," and the more you acknowledge that this "me" is divine, rather than the ego, the less resistant you will become to it and the more harmony you will perceive in it, especially as it relates to you.
It is not the world, which stands in the way of your Awakening. It is the ego's concept of the world, which stands in the way of your experiencing the fact that It (the world) is not separate in any way from What You Are, meaning "what you divinely Are."
The world is not something to be overcome.
QUESTION: I still feel depressed. In fact, I have some feeling like...How can I say other people are me?
RAJ: They constitute some aspect of the infinitude of your Being, just as you constitute some aspect of theirs. There IS a Oneness, although It does not in any way diminish your Individuality.
QUESTION: So, why is it that I have been so happy to hear these ideas, and right now I'm just feeling depressed and upset? It's almost like I don't give a damn. What's the matter with me?
RAJ: It is difficult to be enthusiastic about something you cannot identify with. It's that simple. When you cannot recognize your Self in your activity or in your associations, it is impossible to have any sense of fulfillment from the activity or associations. Again, it is that simple.
QUESTION: Do you have a recommendation for me right where I am?
RAJ: Literally, appreciate where you are. It is your Being, which has you up against your ego limits. But your ego limits always simply constitute the edge of your greater capacity to be aware. So, in effect, your Being has you right up against your Being.
As long as you choose to view this side of the boundary, you will feel the way the ego would have you feel, which is "in conflict." But, the flip side of this boundary is You, is your greater capacity to be aware. Therefore, your Being has you up against the opportunity to experience your greater capacity to be aware, in a way that is uniquely contributive to your release from the ego concepts that are causing you to experience yourself and your world negatively at this moment. And the ego really is a rather inconsequential factor here.
That which is pressing you is You, and that which you are being pressed up against is the edge of You that you are not used to accessing. So, the whole dynamic, in actuality, is You, and is entirely positive. The act of appreciation is so inconsistent with the ego's stance that it is the effective releasing mechanism from the ego, and that is why I encourage you to appreciate where you are at this moment. It is only the ego, which is whining, and the ego is not You! Therefore, It is not you whining.
QUESTION: Can you talk to me about a dietary program I have heard of that uses a soy base that was devised by monks in Japan or China 1500 years ago? They have some herbs that go with it. It's supposed to clear the mind and energize the body.
RAJ: Cause does not reside in the three-dimensional frame of reference, and nothing you can eat can clear your mind!
QUESTION: I understand that somewhat. But, I still find myself living in this three-dimensional framework, and I know that if I drink alcohol my head gets fuzzy, and I'm thinking the reverse is still true. If I eat properly, whatever that is, it will be helpful.
RAJ: As long as you are not ingesting drugs and are eating normal, healthy foods, there is no need for specialized programs. What you primarily want to do is not take in anything, which would inhibit the proper functioning of your body, and simple common sense will provide you with the proper foods.
You can, with the use of drugs, interfere with your clear headedness, but only being centered will bring about or contribute to Enlightenment.
QUESTION: Why am I having difficulty engaging in my work?
RAJ: Again, it is because of this simple dichotomy, this sense of your Self and your world being oppositional, at odds with each other. You need to give some specific thought to what it is you are identifying yourself as.
You are not an organism with a brain that has a capacity to think, which then can say, "Everything I see is me. Everything I see is some aspect of the Infinitude of my Being."
You are Consciousness. Conscious awareness constitutes the Alpha and Omega of your Being. Within that Consciousness exists the conscious experience of the world, of others, of form, outline, color, weight, space, and time. But, you are never that of which you are aware. In other words, you never become less than That which is Aware.
The ego IS a state of mind, which says, "I am one of the things I am aware of." And thus you lose the infinite perspective, which is inherently yours as Conscious Being by virtue of identifying yourself as "a human being" among many other forms of life on this planet. As Consciousness, it is obvious that you enjoy a Oneness with all Consciousness, no matter how Infinitely individualized It might be.
It Is as Consciousness, as Conscious Being or Conscious Individuality, that your world or your conscious experience is One with You. When you forsake that vantage point and you adopt the limited, finite sense of self, which comes from identifying yourself as a physical organism, you forsake the opportunity of experiencing the Oneness. What you see and experience will seem at odds with you because you have disowned it and said, "It is not me."
Since you cannot get rid of your Self, even though you choose to ignore it, your Self remains to be experienced and becomes projected "out there," apparently separate and different from you. Awakening is the process of owning the Totality of your Being. It constitutes the experience of the infinite inseparability of Consciousness, and the increasing experience of your Integrity always constitutes an increasing experience of Harmony and Joy.
QUESTION: My boyfriend and I are having problems around sex. We're having to deal with guilt, and the feeling that sex is somehow unholy. Is there anything you can say that will help us in this area?
RAJ: When the idea is expressed that the body is to become the temple of the Holy Spirit, or of God, it immediately brings into focus the conflicts about the body which are inherent in the ego's finite, tiny, guilt-producing frame of reference. Obviously it is inappropriate to behave in an unholy way in the presence of Holiness.
The presence of Holiness should not arouse a stronger guilt, nor is it consistent for you to think that in the presence of Holiness, you must more adamantly deny any function of the body, and thereby cause even greater sense of difference and separation.
In the presence of Holiness, every function of the body should become a better vehicle for the communication, the extension of Love. It would be helpful for you to drop the word "sex" from your vocabulary. Dropping the word will not cause you suddenly to stop feeling sexually. But, not having the word "sex" to use in your vocabulary will require you to use some other word or words to express the feelings, which you have in the past called "sexual." I would suggest that you replace the word "sex" with the word "Love," and thereby put yourself in a position of being able to upgrade what has been thought of as a physical function to the level of the communication of Love.
When you smile at someone, you have used your body to express a Meaning. It has constituted a moment in which there was a connection that was not defensive and which, thereby, provided the opportunity for the one smiled at to let go of his defensiveness and experience the joy of his defenselessness. There is no difference between a smile or a caress or any other physical act as long as the physical act, itself, does not become the focal point, and the extension of Meaning, the sharing of Love, the giving of Love does.
QUESTION: As I listen to the past tapes, I see that my central and overriding concern is to be in touch with some form of divine guidance. And because I don't feel that I am, except through Paul and you, I seem to be asking the same questions over and over again, but in a variety of forms.
Two questions arise from this. One, am I just spinning my wheels and kidding myself? That is, might I continue to call Paul forever because that is the closest I can get to a spiritual sense of reality? Two, is there something specific I should do that I am not doing to further my development?
RAJ: No. You are not spinning your wheels, and you are assuming that if you were experiencing your own inner guidance from your Guide that it would be more recognizably true for you, and this is not the case. The ego would still be casting its doubts, and, in fact, would be casting them more strongly than it does when you are speaking with me, because you have less confidence in your ability to be in touch with your Guide than you do in Paul's ability to be in touch with me.
There is only one thing you can do, and that is desire to experience your greater capacity to be aware. Your desire to consciously experience your Wholeness is the only thing you DARE attempt to do with intent or purpose. The actual experience of insight or enlightenment occurs, when you are allowing it to occur, and when there is no attempt to be "doing" or "accomplishing" something. Stay with your fundamental desire conscientiously but quietly, and then be attentive, open, and receptive to the enlightenment, which will flow.
You are already doing this. It is the ego, which tells you that you need to be doing more. The trick is that the less you "do", the more will happen, and your desire is the key to that "happening."
QUESTION: What is the experience of hearing one's guide like? Is it a sound, or a sense of a ticker tape running through your mind with words on it?
RAJ: The greatest likelihood is that you will hear in terms of words because that is your primary language of communication, even though what will be communicated is Meaning. The words will form in your consciousness spontaneously to define the Meaning more specifically to yourself. It is the fact that the formation of the words occurs in your consciousness, which makes it difficult initially to distinguish that you are not the source of the Meanings and which will cause you to wonder if you are not making the whole thing up yourself.
Again, the key to moving into these subtler levels of your conscious being is your willingness to allow. Therefore, be open to any form of communication through which your Guide may choose to connect with you. It will be safe, however, for you to anticipate that you will experience the communication in words.
QUESTION: Is my guide merely waiting for me to believe in his existence and allow him to enter my mind?
RAJ: That is correct.
QUESTION: There is nothing he can do, like...anything? Pick up my bed and turn it around? Something that would shock me out of this apparent subtle denial I'm engaged in?
RAJ: You can count on the fact that your Guide IS consciously working with you, working toward the "breakthrough." I want you to understand that even if some "sign" were given, your ego would discount it and it would not succeed in "proving" to you that any of this is valid. That validity comes only through your insistent willingness on trusting its validity.
The one element, which you must bring to your experience of your greater capacity to be aware, is your trust. You must trust into it. This is not impossible, because there is a forever uncovered part of You which deeply Knows the Reality of your Being and gives you always whatever amount of faith is needed in order to make that investment of trust. There is an ever present Knowing in you, which doesn't believe what It sees and doesn't believe what the ego says, and that something is the Holy Spirit.
I want you to begin to recognize that the Holy Spirit isn't "out-there" somewhere, but is present as YOUR eternal Sanity. The Holy Spirit is more immediate to you than you have been thinking. The moment you decided to buy into the ego sense, the Holy Spirit was immediately present as your unconscious but ever-present Sanity. It is therefore WITHIN you and constitutes some part of your Being as long as you are insisting on energizing the ego sense of life.
When you turn things over to the Holy Spirit, or when you reach out to the Holy Spirit, let it be clear that you are in actuality leaning into and depending upon YOUR divine Integrity as the Holy Spirit maintains it in its inviolable perfection, while you dally with the ego.
QUESTION: What suggestions do you have for me to heal my body?
RAJ: Number one, appreciate it! Honor It!
Now, how can you honor it if it is an illusion? For that matter, how can you honor your world and universe if it is an illusion? Let me put it this way, you cannot have an illusion of NOTHING. You cannot experience an illusory sense of nothing. You cannot have a counterfeit of a three-dollar bill, because there is no original, no actual three-dollar bill.
The only way your body can apparently be an illusion at the moment is that there is a Real body, which isn't at all like what you presently experience, but is in the identical place. Just as with your universe, what you call your body is the visibility and tangibility of your Individuality, and your Individuality is God-derived. Therefore, in the final analysis, your body is the visibility and tangibility of that which God is BEING, and which appears as You.
It is, therefore, the intent of your body to SERVE You. It is not your opponent. It is not independent from you. It is actually incapable of functioning at odds with you. Your lack of trust in its essential Nature is simply due to the fact that you have been unaware of its essential Nature and have taken it at "face value" and come to conclusions about it which engender greater doubt, fear, and mistrust. The very presence of these elements, have a distorting effect on your ability to perceive it correctly, and thus you have reported back to you dysfunctions, which seem to verify the truth of your judgment that the body is untrustworthy and can work to your detriment.
It is the ego, which sees the body as different and separate from every thing else. This causes you to interpret yourself as being different and separate. Since this separation is a conceptual illusion, it is impossible to abide in it and be comfortable.
As you are willing to begin to appreciate and honor the divine intent of your body, and release the doubt, the fear, and the distrust, you will find the distorting effect of your belief structure fading (together with the belief structure). And you will begin to perceive your body more accurately. You will be inclined to say that healing has occurred. I say "inclined," because the Reality of your Body has never changed one iota from what it Really Is, even though through your partial vision you have apparently seen it as being far less.
The value of recognizing that what you are presently seeing is illusion is that it puts you in the position of being open to clearer perceptions of the Reality that IS going on. The purpose of recognizing what you see as illusion is so that you will not invest as much in what you presently see, and thereby will not as effectively blind yourself to the Reality.
I want you to understand another thing, as well. The moment you begin to align yourself with the Reality of your Being, with the Reality of your Body, and you are willing to relinquish the ingrained doubts, fears and concerns, the Holy Spirit joins you and strengthens you. It is important to understand this because you need not see it as a venture, which you are doing entirely alone.
QUESTION: I have been active in a spiritual growth center, and have felt uneasy about my association in it. When I asked you about it, you said that there was no value for me in remaining in it. I found that in thinking that over, I feel like I have been getting some insights. Can I ask again, is there truly no value for me there? Is there any benefit for me to be gained there?
RAJ: I want to point out something to you. You have moved back up into your head, and when you consider these logical, apparently rational points, you are at the same time continuing to experience the anxiety in the area of your solar-plexus, which caused you to ask about the situation in the first place.
In other words, the issue here is really whether or not you are going to honor that which brings you conflict/anxiety, or that which brings you peace. When we talked the other day, I pointed out to you that your perception, your sense of there being something inappropriate about your being there, was a Knowing, an insight, that was not arising from the level of the ego. You know experientially that there is a peace, a quietness, present when you think about leaving.
You can count on it that when you are functioning at the level of the ego, there will always be, to some degree or another, the physical sensation of tightness or fear in the area of the solar plexus. When you are hearing your own Wisdom, or the Holy Spirit, the area of your solar plexus, and, in fact, your whole being, will be at peace.
Learn to dare to honor that clear experience and dare to be willing to act on what you know in that peace. The simple fact is that there is no situation or circumstance, which can get outside of the beneficent use, which the Holy Spirit can make of the situation or circumstance, and therefore, everything that COULD happen CAN be turned to your advantage. But, there is no necessity of moving consciously into conflict just because the Holy Spirit can turn it to your advantage. Certainly, you can benefit by being there. But, that is not necessarily because benefit is there in the first place.
I am not making a judgment on the Center. In fact, that should not be the focal point, in any way, shape, or form. The focal point is, are you going to act out from your reasoning, your thinking, which until you are Awakened, is always going to be faulty? Or are you going to listen within and honor your clear perceptions and dare to act out from them, even if the ego tells you that you are crazy?