CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
NOVEMBER
1985
Vol. 2, No. 11
QUESTION: In going about my day to day activities, I
lose an awareness of my higher self and easily get stuck in this world. How may
I better stay connected?
RAJ: First of all, do not fret yourself about losing
your centeredness. It is bound to happen, and so you must have the greatest
patience with yourself and understand that at no time is self-criticism
appropriate. It is not called for.
Your most valuable aid at this point is to take a
specific amount of time, daily, to sit down and become centered through
whatever means works for you. Meditation is an excellent way. The point is that
the regularity of becoming centered increases your familiarity with what it
feels like to be centered. Initially it is the unfamiliarity with it that makes
it easy to slip out and find it difficult to move back. So, you literally need
to "log hours" in that centered place, even if it is only ten or
twenty minutes at a time.
You will find, as a result of the constant daily
reminder of what it feels like to be centered, to be at peace at an
experiential level, that just generally speaking you will not become as
significantly hooked by the day's events. Also, as time goes on, you will
rather easily be able to move toward your Center, right in the middle of your
daily activities, when you discover that you have become hooked by them. So, it
is a simple matter, here—not complex. It is a matter of increasing your
familiarity with what it feels like to be centered.
QUESTION: I've been thinking a lot about creativity
lately, the source of it—or, more personally, my source of it. I'm wondering
just how important it is for me, and how I can better tap into it?
RAJ: It is so important to you that it constitutes
the very substance of your Being. Being is the Movement that constitutes
Creation. Your Individuality literally is the Presence of the Movement that
constitutes Creation.
Now, this means something far different from a puny
little ego consciousness which can, by virtue of its acquired skill, become
creative in the world's terms. It means that entirely separate and apart from
your present concepts of creativity, your very Being—the very spark or
essential conscious experience of being, of existing—is, Itself, the fire of
Creation. This creativity is not something you need to exercise, because it is
what constitutes your very Presence. It is not something you need to develop,
because It is eternally perfect in Its Movement.
At this point in time, you can best consider it as
your Self, which your present limited sense of self must learn to flow with,
learn to be sensitive to, pay attention to, and cooperate with. It only seems
as though there is a separate "you" that must flow with your essential
Self because the finite ego or conceptual structures rather definitely imply
that you are a "personality" that exists in the middle of creation,
and are just some small part of it.
As long as there is this tiny, separated sense of
oneself, the movement into the fuller awareness of Who and What You Are as the
very Movement of Creation, Itself, must appear as a willingness to cooperate
with and flow with That Which You Are. This is all right. There literally is no
other way to do it from where you find yourself standing. Your process of
becoming still enough to connect with your Self is an essential part of this
sensing into and flowing with your Being, so that you might have the chance to
experience what your Being is, as opposed to what your concepts define you as.
As you let go of your private sense of control over
your environment and your life, and as you let go of it knowing that you are
allowing yourself into the more fundamental Orderliness of your Being, you are,
in fact, allowing yourself into that Movement of What you Are, which
constitutes Creation. Thus, your experience begins to change. Your world begins
to reconfigure, so to speak, and manifest back to you greater harmony. It
begins to more efficiently identify your fulfillment.
You see, the Universe—every aspect of your conscious
experience—is the visibility and tangibility of your Being, which is the very
Presence of the Life-Principle, or God. Therefore, when there is no tiny,
little sense of self attempting to work its way through its existence and
battling with an apparently opposing environment, you are no longer inserting
into the universal Harmony of your Being a conflicted, negatively-charged
oppositional "energy system"—vibes, if you will. So, the natural,
eternal Creativity of your Being, in Its absolute perfection and therefore
Harmony, begins to be what you experience.
The Creativeness that constitutes your Being is
already functioning Totally, and with absolute perfection. So, again, it is not
a skill for you to develop. It is not a personal possession, which you have and
someone else doesn't, or which exists somewhere else for You to obtain. So, you
need feel no sense of responsibility for creating your Creativity! You need
only relax enough to discover It already functioning in Its completeness.
Now, it is because What you are allowing yourself
into is the very Movement of Creation that learning to flow with your Being,
and learning to live your life out from the Peace of your Being, is never
boring. It is Peace, immovable stability, out of which universal Creation
arises. They are inseparable. So, you need never worry that in learning to be
centered, and in allowing yourself into the unconflicted experience of your
Being, that you will be moving into a vagueness, a nothingness, a dullness, a
monotonousness.
You know that you are unique! You know you are
indisputably you. And the motivation you feel to have your Individuality
fulfilled is the inviolable connectedness you have with the Creativity of your
Being. The ego picks up on that feeling and tries to be creative, but its
creativeness is always competitive. It is always a matter of outdoing, or being
more original than another. The attempts are always fraught with anxiety, the
fear of not succeeding, because that which will prove that the ego sense of
individuality truly is individual is to be significantly better than anyone
else—else one is not fulfilling his potential. So, creativity becomes reduced
to struggle. Indeed, that is all that can be experienced from that standpoint.
Creativity, again, arises out of Peace, and It is
arising out of the Peace of your Being perfectly, at this instant. This is why,
in your willingness to stop striving, and achieving, and competing, and
winning, and allowing yourself to become centered and at peace within yourself,
that you are putting yourself in the position of consciously discovering and
experiencing this eternal Creativity of Your Being which constitutes your
Being.
As with all things, you must allow That Which You
Are to be What It Is, without introducing the static of your finite
self-concept and its attempts to achieve, which distort your conscious
experience of the Process of Creation which you already Are.
Now, that will give you something to think about.
QUESTION: I even feel the need to achieve peace and
centeredness, and you say to allow myself and I don't see a distinction between
those two.
RAJ: the feeling of needing to be centered is a
desire you are experiencing. That desire is being consciously experienced because
to some degree you are not totally unconscious of the essential Nature or Peace
of your Being. The way for that desire to be fulfilled is to not try to be at
Peace, but to allow yourself to relax. There is a fine distinction here. To
whatever degree you work at relaxing, you will not succeed. And yet, there must
be an intent to not be busy, an intent to relax.
One achieves this apparent goal by letting go of the
goal and not introducing any other goal or activity in the process. As I said,
it is a fine distinction. One must not will to be quiet. One must be willing to
be quiet again, another way of expressing the fine distinction.
QUESTION: I feel as if I am willing. But I'm also
trying to will it by trying to alter aspects of my life that will allow me more
time for peace or centeredness.
RAJ: That is all right. You have to start where you
are. If reorganizing your activities is necessary so that there is time to sit
down without interruption, then do that. But, understand where the impetus is
coming from for doing it. The motivation is coming from a desire, a desire to
be centered. It is a very simple fact that the ego did not set that goal for
you. It insists on your being in a state of conflict. Your desire to take time
to be quiet and become centered is, indeed, emerging from the deeper levels of
your Being. Your actions in organizing or restructuring your time are getting
their impetus from the level of your Being, and this is exactly as it should
be. Your actions, ultimately, will be the expression of what you are gleaning
from the level of your Being.
If a large number of your peers were gathering daily
to meditate because it was the latest fad, and you did not want to be left out,
and you reorganized your time so that you could be "in" with your
friends, then your actions would be arising from the level of your ego. Your
Being, your heart, your deepest levels of sensing would play no part in it, and
that is the fundamental difference here.
This is not the way you are doing it. In fact, you
do not care whether anyone knows you are doing it or not. You are doing it for
you. So, indeed, you are acting "in the world" in terms of
structuring your time, but that which is motivating the action is arising from
a significant connectedness with your Self. Your apparent expression of will,
by restructuring your day, is technically an example of your willingness to
flow with your deeper levels of Knowing. Whereas your restructuring of your day
so that you would be "in" with your friends would be pure willfulness,
and would not constitute a willingness at all in the way I have been using that
word.
Do not frustrate yourself or quibble over the
carrying out of goals in your world when those goals have been established at a
level other than your ego, because when you are behaving and acting out from
your deepest levels of Knowing, then you are in harmony with your Being, and
that is what it's all about.
QUESTION: I think it's my day to day activity that
draws me away from my awareness of my willingness. I keep forgetting.
RAJ: You will always have day to day activities. It
is not the activities, which pull you out, but the well-established habit of
perceiving and responding to your day from the level of intellectual concepts,
rather than from the level of your Being. Again, it is not life, which pulls
you off center. It is the vantage point you are choosing to experience life
from, which pulls you off center.
If you are going to choose to experience your day to
day activities from the level of your ego reactions—from the level of your
mental conditioning, and from the level of your memory—then you will be off
center, because that vantage point is off center. It does not pay any attention
whatsoever, to what is emerging from the deeper levels of your Being.
You either have the option to experience
life—meaning day to day activities—from the reactive level of the ego, or the
centered Place of your Being. What pulls you off center is simply your habit
which, up until now, you have never thought to challenge. You did not know you
had an option. Now you are challenging it, and succeeding, and then losing your
success temporarily when you slip back into the habit. But, each time the
slippage occurs, you have gained a little more validation of the actual reality
of the centered Place. As you move along, the manner in which you slip out of
It will become more and more apparent. It will become easier to recognize when
you are beginning to slip, and you will not slip as far. The process of
slipping back and forth will be educational and will contribute to your more
skillfully remaining centered, no matter what is happening in your daily
experience.
Do not blame life. Do not blame your daily
experience. It is the lack of skill within yourself, and the deeply ingrained
habit of living your life from the reactive ego level that is the culprit. Once
you grasp this and remember it, you will stop blaming circumstances, people,
activities, your world, for your being off center. Because you will know where
the slip actually occurs—that it is within you—you will be able to immediately
take responsibility for it and do what you know needs to be done in order to
move back to your Center.
As I mentioned earlier, when you move into your Center
and you are experiencing your Peace, you are in the presence of the Creativity
of your Being. You are not introducing what we will call "negative
vibes," conflicted energy patterns. Your world, which seemed to have
uncentering dynamics to it, will reconfigure, and the harmonious dynamic of the
Creativity of your Being is what will replace what appeared in your world to be
uncentering.
QUESTION: I have a question about love, and how I
understand unconditional love to be the only real love. Yet, I still find
myself looking or longing for a mate. To me that is contradictory, yet the
desire is there. I'm wondering if I'm missing something in there.
RAJ: The simple fact is, you must have a proving
ground for unconditional love. You must have a place to practice it, a
laboratory, as it were, for you to uncover the subtle ways in which your ego
attempts to defeat the practice of unconditional love. This uncovering process,
this refining process is weak when you are simply relating in a social sense
with society.
A relationship with one individual, a committed
relationship, provides the fire—the heat, as it were that is sufficient to
separate the fact from the illusion, the dross from the gold, the belief
structures from the Reality within you.
It is too easy not to have the level of commitment
necessary for the fullness of the meaning of unconditional love to come to view
when you are just functioning in society. It is too easy to just not be around
the circumstances, which will clearly uncover the subtle means you have for
defeating your ability to express it. It is the level of commitment that is
brought to a relationship that provides the element necessary for the disrobing
of your capacity for unconditional love and the discarding of the belief
structures that block it. So, there is no inconsistency in your desire for a
mate, for a companion in life.
The simple fact is that at this moment it would be
impossible for you to connect with everyone with unconditional love, because it
constitutes such a connectedness that there is no other word to describe it
than Oneness. There is nothing uninvolved about unconditional love, and at this
point its consistent expression is difficult enough with just one person,
although you may do your best to express it everywhere.
Stay with your desire. Do not invalidate it or
squelch it because it seems inconsistent. It is appropriate for there to be
someone with whom you can love unconditionally in a committed, ongoing way.
QUESTION: I have been guided to become a counselor.
I have taken a lot of psychology and sociology classes, but I don't have a
specific counseling degree. I feel uncomfortable when people ask if I have a
counseling degree. How can I feel more at ease with that?
RAJ: What any counselor who is worth his salt is
doing, is loving, and literally being willing to acknowledge the divinity or
Worth, the inherent Value, of the individual coming to him, who is having
difficulty seeing it for himself. A license cannot actually cause one to be
able to love. So, at the bottom line, the license is irrelevant, and the
expression of love is what matters.
Do not labor under the misconception that somehow
you are lacking something essential by not having that license. Do not hesitate
to declare, in a straightforward manner, the fact that you are not licensed,
but that you have been able to help others, and it is your intent to continue
to do so, whether you have a license or not.
It is an artificial problem—not really a problem
unless you are allowing a mind-set to govern your thinking that says you need
that piece of paper to qualify you. It really is not as big a problem for you
as you are thinking it might be. Just remember that there is never a valid
enough reason for withholding the recognition of the value and worth of any of
your fellow men or women. And that to whatever degree you do withhold it, for
whatever reason, you are blocking your Self in your ability to be the presence
of that recognition, which is truly your function, whether you are doing
counseling or not.
QUESTION: My husband and I are having trouble in our
marriage. It seems to be going downhill, like we are growing apart. It's really
depressing for me. I don't know how to turn it around, or whether it's
appropriate for me to try.
RAJ: I want to assure you, first of all, that the
relationship is salvageable. In fact, the very things, which drew you together
in the first place, are still present and active in both of you. It is just
that over the years, a pattern of behavior, and a structure of concepts have
developed, which are getting more of your attention than the energy of the
relationship. You are paying more attention to what you think than what you
feel.
Along with these things you are thinking, there are
emotional reactions, which you are miscalling feelings. They are actually
reactions. Emotional reactions are ego structures, whereas feelings, in the
sense that I am using them, are constituted of Soul sensing—sensing with your
Soul. Again, emotional reactions are what you could call the sensing that is
done by the ego, and feelings are the sensing that is done by your Soul.
Now, you can see, on this basis, that you have been
binding yourself by the ego and its reactions. This means that what is needed
in order to bring about a turnaround in the relationship, is for you to take
the time to, again begin to sense into your Soul, and through your Soul
sensing, which has never gone anywhere, begin to be aware of your husband.
Indeed, the same applies in the other direction. However, I do want you to be
aware that you are the key factor here, and that your insistence upon setting
aside your ego, even for short periods of time during the day, and literally
paying attention to what your Soul is saying, will contribute significantly to
a change in the environment of your home and your relationship.
It is also important for you to recognize that it is
a level of doubt in you, rather than a level of doubt in your husband, which
has allowed this situation to develop. This is not a criticism or a judgment.
If you will stop and think about it, you will realize that there came a point
when you stopped relating to him from your Soul and began to do a lot of
thinking, coming to conclusions that were based upon that thinking rather than
letting your conclusions arise from what you Knew in your Soul.
The ego always introduces conflict. It thrives on
conflict. You cannot expect to be able to look at anything, not even a
relationship, through the lens of the ego without seeing a source of conflict.
The ego is incapable of seeing Peace. It is incapable of seeing Harmony, unless
that peace and harmony is contributing to some greater source of conflict. In
other words, the ego is always self-seeking, and it will use even the positive
factors in your life if it will serve its conflicted, distorted goals.
Now, you have a choice! You have two vantage points
from which to engage in this relationship—or, indeed, engage with any aspect of
your world and life—and these two vantage points are your ego and your Soul
(your Being, your heart).
From the level of your heart, the level of your
Soul, all you will be able to see is what is Real. It is incapable of
acknowledging conflict. It is only capable of seeing that which is like It. So,
when you are looking through your Love, when you are looking with your Soul,
that is what you will see in others. You will see that which is truly lovable,
and that which is truly worthwhile. Even if that other one is coming from an
ego level, your choice to view him through the lens of Love, and through your
Soul, will constitute a refusal on your part to join with him in his ego
vantage point, and thus you will not be strengthening it.
On the other hand, that which you are seeing in him
that is lovable, and which is of value, will constitute a joining with him at
the level of his Soul, and strengthening it, thus making it easier for him to
release his ego perceptions and dare to join you at the deeper levels of your
Being.
It is quite possible, and you have the freedom, to
stand at either vantage point. There is no judgment on you for standing at
either one. But, understand that there will always be an experience of conflict
when you are standing and observing from the vantage point of the ego. It is
inherent in the ego sense. There is no other way for things to be observed.
That is not a punishment. It is simply the way the ego functions.
On the other hand, when you view things from the
standpoint of your Soul, you do not get praise from some external judge.
Because, from the vantage point of your Soul, you are able to see and feel that
which is Real, and because that which is Real is unconflicted—because It is the
expression of God—then there is Joy. There is the absence of pain and conflict.
There is peace when Reality is viewed from where It can be seen without
distortion.
Therefore, there is no need for you to feel guilty.
There is no need for you to judge yourself for having gotten caught up in the
ego's vantage point, where it has looked like everything is unfulfilling. There
can be no penalty for it, other than the discomfort one can't help but feel
when he or she is not seeing Reality clearly. Again, that is not a punishment,
but an inherent part of viewing things through distorted lenses—and the ego is
a distorted sense of Life.
If the ego is only capable of presenting lies,
distortions of Reality, then it behooves you to be willing to set it aside and
not validate the way things look from its standpoint. And, it behooves you to
take the time to rekindle your conscious awareness of that which is of value in
your relationship, that which is of value in you, and that which is of value in
your husband.
This may seem like a tall order, but it only seems
that way from the ego's standpoint. It is important for you to understand that
the ego's sense of self has no actual power. Its power is the power of
suggestion only, just like a hypnotist. It cannot enforce itself. It cannot
control. It can only suggest that you might control yourself in such and such a
way. Therefore, it does not have any means of keeping you from dishonoring it
and setting it aside, other than some threats, which it cannot back up or
enforce.
There is nothing actually standing in the way of
literally changing your vantage point. And, I will tell you this. In being
willing to invalidate all that the ego sees and interprets incorrectly, and
shifting to an awareness of what your Soul is saying, and what your Soul is
able to see of the Soul that constitutes your husband, you are moving into the
Place of your Power.
When you are willing to validate what your Soul
sees, love is spontaneously present, and love is transformational. It is
healing. It does wipe away the tears. It does soften the heart. It does allow
you to be the Presence, which feels good to those around you—including your
husband. Although he may lag behind you and not respond to you immediately,
because he is not sure what is happening, at some level of his Being he will be
fully aware of your genuineness and will feel the love. From that level he will
begin to respond to you, and his trust will increase, and things will mellow
out.
Understand that it has become a habit with you to
react, instead of act out from your Soul, and it will be easy for you to again
get caught up in the habit of reacting while you are doing your best to insist
upon coming from your Soul. When this happens, do not further react and kick
yourself around. Notice that it has happened, but do not invest it with a lot
of energy, and quietly get back to the business of being in touch with your
Soul.
If you and your husband were truly at opposite ends
of the stick, if your paths were not paralleling each other, if there was no
active energy or relationship between you, I would be telling you entirely
different things. But, the fact is that the love is there. The faith in each
other is still there. What it takes to have a meaningful, committed
relationship is still there. It is present and it is alive. But, it is not
discernible from the level of the ego reactions. It is only observable from
your Soul.
So, you see, the literal resolution of this problem
lies in your deciding to once again pay attention to your Soul, and to honor
what It sees more than you honor what the ego sees.
Again, the ego is a liar! It is not trustworthy. Its
information is always distorted, and therefore invalid. So, there is never a
justifiable reason for honoring it, except that it seems to be able to explain
its biased viewpoint in a way that makes sense.
You can always tell if you are hooked by the ego if
you are experiencing conflict within yourself. When you realize that the very
presence of that conflict is what feeds the continued existence of the ego, it
will become apparent to you that you must do everything possible to not supply
that kind of energy—that it is not constructive, in terms of your spiritual
growth, to validate and maintain a state of inner conflict.
As this begins to become really clear to you, you
will see that the battle, the war that goes on when you are trying to reduce
the conflict on the basis that the conflict is real, is all a lie, is all an
artificial structure based upon a suggestion, and that the simple necessity is
to not validate it and not pursue its "righteous conclusion." Rather,
connect again with your very Soul. Then view everything from there, honoring
without reservation the truth that you see.
I have spent more time talking about the ego and the
way it works than I have about your Soul. But, you are familiar with what your
Soul sees, and you are familiar with feeling It. You are not as familiar with
the way the ego hooks you and causes you to believe its whole dramatic
explanation. That is why I have spent more time talking about it.
Again, the solution is simple. It has to do with
which of two vantage points you are going to choose to look at your world and
your relationship from. Those are the only two choices you have, ever, no
matter what it is you are looking at, and the resolution of any dissonance, any
inharmony, will always come as a result of shifting from the ego's viewpoint to
the eternal vantage point of your Soul.
QUESTION: I'm a registered nurse, and I work in
intensive care units. From time to time I really resist going into the hospital
and doing the things I do as a nurse. Lately it's been very difficult to go in
to work and deal with the chaos, the stress, the frustration level, doing the
many little things that nurses do, and that I've done millions of times. What
may I do to increase my income, and/or what area of career am I forgetting to
look at as a lucrative possibility?
RAJ: The one thing that you are overlooking is that
love is not ethereal or nebulous. It is not just a warm cloaking presence. It
is real, and its reality is expressed in actions, words, deeds. You are also
overlooking the fact that it is in the midst of crisis that love is needed. It
is not needed in the presence of harmony and peace. It is there, but it is not
needed.
For the sake of perspective, your questions could
easily be looked at as the repetitive cry of ignorant human beings. It is very
seldom that people speak with me when they are not in the middle of a crisis.
And their questions always express their ignorance. If I were coming from an
ego place, I could become bored with being the Presence of the Answer that is needed,
so that the crisis can be released and moved out of. Yet, this is exactly where
the love is needed. This is exactly where the light is needed. It is at the
point of crisis, it is at the point of ignorance, it is at the point of lack
that the fulfillment is needed. So, this is where I work. This is where you
work, because you have that love to give, no matter how repetitive, no matter
how mundane, no matter how nitty-gritty it seems to be at times.
Go to a place where harmony is, and you will not find
fulfillment there for you, because you have the ability to give that which
isn't needed there. You have the ability to give where love is needed. Every
bed pan you have ever rinsed out was an act of love. Every sponge bath you have
given was literally the presence of divine love meeting the human need right
where that need was being felt.
Nurses are not called angels of mercy for no reason!
They are the ones who are able to be present in the state of great lack on
someone's part to feel competent, to feel confident, and to feel their
wholeness—a very diminishing and humiliating place for anyone to be. Yet, their
need is being met. Care is there. And, again, as I mentioned earlier, in the
sharing of your love, you are joining with another at the level of their
capacity to love, and they experience that as that which gives hope, that,
which lifts their spirits.
Do be careful not to look at what you are doing with
your eyes only, and with your intellect only. What you do is meaningful far
beyond words, far beyond what it even looks like you are doing. If you will get
back in touch with your love for your fellow man, and you let that flow again,
I can assure you that if there is any appropriate change in your job, in the
particular form of your work, it will unfold with great harmony, because you
are flowing with your love. But, if you change jobs on the basis of the
tiredness with the routine and do not get in touch with your love, you will
move into another job that you will see only as routine, and the value that is
You will not be available for that job either.
You must be the presence of Love. Why? Because Love
is the substance of your Individuality. You do not have to assume that you will
always be expressing this Love in the particular form that you are presently,
but the form will not matter. It will fluctuate and change as it fulfills
purpose if you are willing to not divorce yourself from remembering What You
Are and why you are doing what you are doing.
It is very easy, I know, to get caught up in the way
everyone around you sees their work, but your work is a divine activity. It is
a holy activity. To the degree that you remember that—and I mean remember it in
the sense of connecting with your feeling of it again—you will be one of those
nurses who inspires the nurses who are down in the dumps, or who are feeling
resistant to going into work in the morning as though the expression of love
was a burden, rather than that which frees their Soul to soar into expression
of healing.
Again, do not assume that getting in touch with your
Love again will trap you forever in what you are doing. It will actually allow
any changes that need to be made to occur with more ease. Please think about
these things.