CONVERSATIONS WITH RAJ
Volume 1 Number 3
QUESTION: I am wondering whether or not you see me as an individual and you know every detail of my life, or do you pick me up as some kind of thought form or energy field?
ANSWER: To begin with, I see you as You Are, which is very much like myself, but which is very different from the way you see yourself. I also see how you appear to be to yourself. And, in effect, in speaking with you, I am attempting to reconcile the difference between Who and What you actually Are, and who and what you appear to be to yourself. Because, it is the narrowed conceptualization of yourself, which you identify as "you," that gets in the way of your experiencing the Oneness and Harmony of your total Being, which includes your world.
Therefore, whenever we are talking, we are doing more than just answering questions about issues. We are also in the process of leading you, or pushing you, sometimes, beyond the boundaries within which you confine yourself, and which, by virtue of that confinement, you cause yourself to be uncomfortable.
QUESTION: It seems from what you said last time, that when one lets go of being motivated by fear and guilt, that one has the possibility of acting from what one truly is, or closely to what one truly is, rather than acting in reaction to othersí preconceived value systems.
ANSWER: That is correct. And, because you are not reacting or responding to othersí value systems and you are spontaneously coming out from the level of your Being, you then have the uncalculated advantage of being able to cut through or side-step othersí value systems and connect with them at the level of their Being, rather than the level of their ego and thereby be an effective agent of change for them in their lives.
When you are responding or reacting to another, you engage that "other" at the level of his responding or reacting, which becomes, then, a contest or battle of the wits, and keeps you occupied at a level where change cannot be facilitated.
QUESTION: I donít seem to have any "psychic" powers like clairvoyance, or hands-on healing, and I cannot visualize. I donít know if itís my ego, but I find that I often run into people who have those powers and I fall into making comparisons. And I say, "Well, thatís higher and Iím lower," and it makes me suspect of my own development. And I was wondering if you could comment on it.
ANSWER: I guarantee you that those "talents" are more often the means by which one gets locked into the ego level than they are the means of escaping the ego level. And, you do not need to feel any deprivation if they are not occurring in your experience.
You see, the necessity is to be more clearly connected with your Self, your Being. It is the sense of finiteness, of smallness, and the unavailability of the majority of your Being, which could be conceptualized as identifying how far you have progressed, rather than any particular psychic talents.
In the process of experiencing the Integrity or Oneness of your Being (which means your Oneness with all things), you will find yourself knowing things, which have not come to you through the five physical senses. But, if you become enamored of them and allow them to become the focal point rather than the natural result of being connected, you will halt your progress as far as becoming more and more familiar with the experience of your Oneness. In most cases this is exactly what happens.
They (psychic talents) should serve to prove at an experiential level the fact of the Oneness of your Being, the fact that ALL of your Self is always available to you, that all of You is always present. And, as a result of having that proof, you should experience a greater trust in the process of leaning into your own Completeness for everything.
Simply put, comparisons stink! They are useless. Even though you find yourself unable to cut it out completely, at least be aware that they are valueless, so that you do not waste your time using them as the basis for kicking yourself around. Just be aware that the ego is doing its little jig, and be on about your business.
QUESTION: Speaking about the egoís jig, it seems that all my life Iíve had what I suppose would be clinically classified as "visions of grandeur. "
ANSWER: Of course!
QUESTION: This little number has caused me a lot of suffering because I couldnít "do," and it has also pushed me to strive the way I do. Itís like it keeps me moving or knowing that there must be more. Is that also just an ego number?
ANSWER: It does not have its basis in the ego, but the ego picks up on it and distorts it. The feeling arises out of the Fact that, for lack of better words, you are the Christ. You are the ultimate, clear, divine conscious experience of Being that is the perfect and Total expression of the Life-Principle, whether you choose to call it infinite Mind, or intelligence, or God, or whatever.
The ego distorts this "remembering" by causing you (because it is not clear to you) to think that this same Fact is not true of every other individuality that exists. Thus, causing you to feel that it is a particular greatness which belongs to you in some totally unique way, which makes you "special" in comparison to someone else, rather than special because you are the flawless Event called Consciousness, as is everyone else.
You can see, then, that it is absolutely necessary for you to honor your Self, and be willing to dare to allow it expression in spite of the ego. It also becomes clear that it is absolutely necessary for you to honor every other individuality in your experience in exactly the same way, in spite of their egos. It means that there is no room for criticism when the ego seems to do its jig in another. It means, instead, that the necessity is to not acknowledge the ego and its jig. But, rather to have that apparently infinite patience and forgiveness for the way the individual presently sees himself, because you know what the Reality of that individuality is, and that is what you choose to honor.
What I have just described is exactly the definition of being the Christ. To use a quote, which Paul is familiar with: "Jesus beheld . . . the perfect man, who appeared to him where sinning mortal man appears to mortals. In this perfect man the Saviour saw Godís own likeness, and this correct view of man healed the sick. "
QUESTION: As I become more often in the center of my own Being then, I will be able to remember this. Is that correct?
ANSWER: That is correct. And, you will find yourself impelled or inclined to say or do things, which your "reasoning mind" may think is senseless. And, to the degree that you will dare to override your rational thinking and allow yourself to act out from that centered place, you will be surprised to find yourself seeming to be effective when there is no rational reason for effectiveness according to your old concepts and old rationales.
Do not expect an expanded state of consciousness to continue to come through the same old forms, the same old structures of thought. Do not expect an expanded Self-experience to make sense according to your old standards. You are going to have to allow your Self to come forth, and out of the experience of it develop a new rationale by virtue of allowing yourself to be in the new territory long enough for a new level of "sense" to become apparent to you.
The process of this shift will sometimes be disconcerting, but to the degree that you will be willing to risk the insecurity, you will find a new level of security unfolding, together with the new "sense," (as opposed to nonsense) of this enlightened conscious experience of your Being.
QUESTION: Then, just following this one more step, the changes that I have been going through in the last week - like I think what is happening is, I am not censoring myself the way I used to. Like, I would deny myself certain spontaneity or pleasure because I felt that it was not conducive to my spirituality. Like, I got all my hair cut off tonight, and Iím going to get a facial, and Iím allowing myself to be warm and spontaneous, where before I - rationally Iím a little more withdrawn. And, Iím feeling intuitively that this is kind of like a flow that is right for me to be going through right now.
Is that part of the process that youíre talking about?
ANSWER: You will find out for yourself that it is, because you are letting down some of the structures, which have been confining you. You will find that you will be feeling better, feeling more comfortable, more relaxed, less anxious. You will find that when you are flowing with your Being, that it feels good! And you will also find that flowing with your Being affects everything right down to your bra hooks.
No aspect of your daily life, as you experience it, is excluded from or outside of the flow of your Being. None of it is so mundane as to not be embraced in some way within the Wholeness of your Being. After all, if enlightenment doesnít have any relationship to your daily life, then it isnít worth a hill of beans.
It is your Whole conscious experience of Being, your whole world, which is to be seen anew, to be seen more clearly, to be seen without the distortion brought about by confining oneís definition of oneself to that, which the ego sees, by virtue of availing itself only of the information sensed by the five physical senses.
In so many words, it is the WHOLE WORLD that is to be redeemed, not you rising above and getting out of the world. And, so, you get a haircut, and it MEANS something. In a Universal sense it means something.
QUESTION: In that sense of the world being redeemed, like with Buddhism and the concept of the Bodhisattva, where the Bodhisattva makes the vow that he will not remain in the higher realms until every sentient being has achieved liberation - I mean, thatís kind of part of the question. Is it that kind of a thing? Because, as I understand it, the creation is constantly being created anew so that there are always forms evolving into higher forms and that there would never be a time when that perfection would be achieved. Maybe I donít need to know all this stuff right now.
ANSWER: We can deal with it. The simple fact is that everything is being created new. It is incorrect that everything is being refined or developed to a higher level.
The Reality which is unfolding itself constantly and which is called Creation is occurring at this very moment, but it is not occurring in the way the ego, the partial sense of Reality, sees it. It is unfolding in absolute perfection. What it never does is stop unfolding itself, because that would not be Life. Therefore, it never arrives at a point of being finished in its Self-expression.
The ego is, itself, a limited, partial sense of this Total Reality which is unfolding itself, and as you give up, willingly relinquish, the limits which the ego seems to impose upon your ability to experience the Totality, you do seem to awaken to more, and to an improved experience. But, this is simply constituted of an allowing yourself to see Reality more clearly. Nothing has improved except the vision.
The illustration you gave of the Bodhisattva is paralleled in Christianity, in that when the Resurrection and Ascension occurred, it was not completed. It was begun. And, in fact, all individualities, including Jesus, who have Awakened totally to their divinity and their Christ-hood, are constantly working, as I am, to aid the rest of Mankind, who have not yet Awakened, to willingly involve themselves in that process, because until the whole Body of Mankind has Awakened, the Ascension is not complete.
QUESTION. I worry a lot about my mother. I think that she is just a Trojan fighter for life. And, it seems like she has a million demons. And, sheís afraid of going to hell or burning in hell when she dies, and sheís 70. And, Iíve been trying to help her most of my life . . . and she seems to be progressing. And, Iím wondering, is there anything I can specifically do, other than be what I am, to help her?
ANSWER. You must be aware that the ethic she is coming from places great value in gaining victory over the devil. And, it is not easy, or it is not a reasonable expectation for you to think that it will be easy for her to give up such a "wonderful, meaningful" ethic as that, gracefully, when there is nothing equally meaningful to replace it.
Now, the problem is that she will expect the replacement to still be some sort of conflict or battle, something in which there is a winner and a loser. And yet, the only valid replacement is the realization that there simply are not two opposing powers in conflict in the first place. That is the healing truth; but to a life-long combatant, that is insensible.
Be willing to continue to be yourself with her, and present what you are led to present. But, be aware that these are the dynamics of her structure of consciousness, and the favor you want to give to her or do for her doesnít look like a favor to her from within her present frame of reference. I share this with you because it is important for you not to frustrate yourself when the good that youíre doing is only making dents in her belief structure. The structure is so significant from where sheís coming that little dents, little bits of progress, are all she can allow at any given time.
Do not be discouraged at what Iím saying! Understand why you canít do more. But also understand that what you are doing is being effective, and what you have been able to chip away of her belief structure is that much less for her to have to let go of.
QUESTION. I have a hard time having fun sometimes. I get real intense and real serious and real introspective and tend to see things a little heavier than I would like. Iíd like to be lighter and have more fun. Now, how do I do that? What kind of things can I do to have fun?
ANSWER: The simple fact is that your own inner growth and development has moved you out of the frame of reference in which "fun" as you have described it occurs. Literally, "fun" is another one of those fundamentally scary things that people indulge in, in the process of grasping their good as though it existed external to them, "out-there."
It is really a game of the ego, and although it is exhilarating, it is never satisfying, and this is why there is always the continued pursuit of more "fun. "
So, what replaces "fun"? The answer is Satisfaction, and a Joy which arises out of the confidence inherent in experiencing the Fact that there is a Oneness to everything, and which arises out of the experience of finding that everything in your universe is at one with you. That, it is some part of the Wholeness and Completeness of your Being. That, at the level of your Being, You are in no way separated from all that is meant by the word "God. " There is no separation from all that is meant by "the Universe. " That, at the level of your Being, the divinity of your life is the atmosphere and substance of everything that is unfolding. And that, indeed, this world that you are walking in blindly (blind to its Oneness) and dreaming that it is constituted of infinite separateness, is indeed, embraced in that divinity. And therefore, ALL OF IT is the manifestation and identification, or visibility and tangibility of that divine process which You Are.
What Iím trying to make clear here, is that the shift in consciousness is not a matter of spiritualizing yourself and rising above this mundane, material universe, but, actually constitutes a restoration of this universe to its original status as the divine evidence of Life, and an integral part of Who and What You Are.
The Joy comes from the sense of Integrity and Wholeness that you experience when the shift has been made from the standpoint of seeing yourself as an inconsequential little mortal body, living amongst others in a potentially hostile world. The shift, if it indeed involves a greater sense of oneness with everything, means a connectedness with everyone and everything that is far more significant than the "love relationships" which develop as a result of the fearful sense of separation upon which everybody builds their relationshipsóout of ignorance.
In other words, the Joy is not an esoteric joy. It is a Joy, which really connects with this world that you walk through every day. But, a world in which your perception of it is transformed, so that you are able to connect with it as it is Really going on, rather than as it is believed to be going on, when you judge everything according to the way it tastes, smells, feels, sounds and appears.
Initially, it may not seem to be such a great favor to you to have grown out of the essentially shallow, fear-ridden sense of fun and partying, since the experience of Joy may not be as significant to begin with, because you are not as tuned into it as you are the grosser excitement of the fear-filled fun of social life. But, as you will allow yourself not to resist this shift, and appreciate that the potential of it is one of unchanging Satisfaction and Joy, you will begin to find it having more and more substance, more and more conscious significance for you. The key to it is allowing yourself to be in the new territory long enough for the new territory to register in your thought.
Fear/fun is very dynamic, and actually ragged, whereas, the Joy of experiencing the Oneness of your Being in all of its infinitely varied aspects is much more subtle. It is more substantial, but it is more subtle and less attention getting or ego attracting.
This is why, as you leave the level of "fun" it initially seems as though you are giving up something significant and moving into something that is very vague. But, dare to go ahead and do it, as I said. Because, allowing yourself to be in this apparently vague territory allows you to begin to become sensitive to its characteristics, which, although they are more subtle, are more substantial, and constitute a growing awareness of the integrity of your Being. There is nothing more satisfying than experiencing the fact that you are Whole; that you are complete; and that it is the Nature of this Completeness of your Being to eternally fulfill itself perfectly.
Have fun with that!
QUESTION: Why do I have such an emotional intensity around my relationship with my boy friend, and what does the future hold for us?
ANSWER: Primarily because there is an extremely strong desire for a significant and meaningful, fulfilling relationship with a man. The part of the intensity, which you are feeling uncomfortable with, is that you see him as one of the many fish in the sea, and by reversal you automatically know that from his point of view, you are one of the many fish in the sea. And so, the development of a committed relationship with him becomes a contest to secure his attention significantly away from "the competition. "
The sense of the development of a relationship as being an external process of "trapping" the one you are attracted to and causing him to feel unequivocally attracted to you is, in itself, not really a pleasant process because it involves a great deal of anxiety. You can kid yourself into thinking that the game of securing him is "thrilling" or "tantalizing," but underneath it all it is fundamentally unsettling and scary because it is all occurring from a premise which is one of insecurity. In the final analysis it all boils down to "chance. "
Now, the important thing to realize is that, that all amounts to a conceptual approach, an interpretation of what is happening, and that this interpretation does include within itself an underlying current of stress and distress. The simple fact is that he is not in your experience by chance.
It is the Purpose of your Being to fulfill itself, to evolve itself continuously in the process of fulfilling its Purpose to BE what it is completely. Therefore, it brings into your conscious experience those individuals, those job opportunities, those places to live, which identify fulfillment and satisfaction.
Once it becomes clear to you that every experience you have is unfolding from your own Withinness as the manifestation of fulfillment, you will find that you are on much more solid ground because of the fact that your Being has the capacity to fulfill itself perfectly with no element of chance.
Once it becomes clear to you that your boy friend is in your experience because his presence is the manifestation of fulfillment that is unfolding from within you, it will become clear to you, that you do not need to go through beguiling processes in order to trap him or secure his attention. You will not need to be as intense in order to enfold him so completely that he will not want anyone else. The element of "work" will fade, and you will more trustingly allow the purpose for which the two of you are in each othersí experience to unfold ITSELF, knowing that the whole process includes within itself the potential for doing this unfolding successfully.
It is completely appropriate for you to feel uncomfortable about the intensity you are experiencing, because it is an unnecessary expenditure of energy, and it also is causing you to act unnaturally, in the sense that what you do does not come out of a sense of security and peace. Whether you are aware of it or not, the level of anxiety that underlies the intensity gets communicated, and your boy friend picks it up. It causes him to experience a corresponding level of anxiety when he is with youónot enough to cause him to back off, but enough for him to feel like he is not totally at ease with you, as he would like to be.
Iím going to suggest that you allow yourself to relax and trust that there is a deeper underlying purpose for the two of you being in each otherís lives. And that, if you will not meddle at the conscious level with the relationship, and trying desperately to make sure that nothing inhibits its development, that the relationship will develop more spontaneously and more smoothly, with a lot more enjoyment, because the level of stress will have been substantially reduced.
Realize that the minute you begin to become manipulative, you have moved into an untrusting frame of reference, which causes you to feel that you, personally must do something to facilitate what your Being already Knows how to do perfectly well, and is in the process of doing. And, your untrusting state will simply obscure the orderliness of the development of the relationship and will apparently cause the development to be bumpier because of the fact that you are communicating a state of anxiety when you are together. This is really the key point!
QUESTION: I have been doing a lot of work on loving myself . . . and I want to know if thereís anything else I can do at this point. I guess I feel like Iím taking two steps forward and kind of ended up taking one step back, even though Iím still doing the work.
ANSWER: The necessity is for consistency and continuity. You will not move forward without challenges, because your habits of thought about yourself are well established. They will pop up at the most unexpected times and in the most unexpected ways. You are going to have to learn to override them by your consistency and establish a new pattern of self-appreciation.
The challenges will diminish.
Realize that the affirming you are doing, and in so many words, the reprogramming you are doing by virtue of these affirmations is not going to be a temporary tool you use, but, will become an ongoing unquestioned way of seeing yourself. So, there should be no sense of "When am I going to be able to stop having to think positively about Myself in order to bring about change?" You want to think this way about yourself all the time, forever. What you donít want is to have the constant challenge of a negative attitude about yourself.
QUESTION: What is the purpose of having financial difficulty over such a long period of time?
ANSWER. Absolutely none. Lack has no intent. Just as darkness is the absence of the energy called light; it has no "presence" and therefore cannot be construed in any way to be purposeful. It is time to challenge any of the means you use to justify lack (such as its having a purpose) and no longer buy into it as being valid in any way. Need and its fulfillment are inseparable. Alone, they constitute an irrational incompleteness.
QUESTION: Is there a step to take?
ANSWER: Of course there is! "Need" is the negative of, or absence of intent (Life). Therefore, intent is what is needed. Intent is the motion of Being, which is your Selfhood. Fulfillment is the fulfillment of what You Are. This means that any apparent lack is a statement that you are not whole, and that your very existence is in question, since it apparently is unable to be what it isóIntent fulfilling Itself. This is preposterous! But, let us be clear on what the actual lie is.
Being centered means accessing oneís Self at the level of his Beingóat the level where intent is experienced as intent, rather than "need." At that level, fulfillment is simultaneous with intent. This is why I keep saying that being centered is the source of your Supply.
Being centered about what, though? Being centered is not a passive, mindless state of bliss! It is a matter of being centered about every aspect of your daily lifeóespecially aspects of it, which are uncomfortable (problems). Being centered is not a narcotic, which dulls the awareness so that it can withstand the pain. It is becoming clear about the pain so that the pain is resolvedóno longer present.
Therefore, the step needed is to become centered, and out of that centeredness, approach the "need" at the level of the intent which it is masking, which you can then follow through to its fulfillment.
Clarification means being specifically clear. It does not mean rising far enough above the problem that it does not bother you any more, even though specific clarity about the intent it masks has not been gained!