NORTHWEST FOUNDATION FOR A COURSE IN MIRACLES
Hanalei, Kauai, Hawaii
Paul Norman Tuttle
P.O. Box 870
Hanalei, Hi 96714-0870
24-HR FAX: 808-826-7060
I have instructed Paul to forward the following conversation to everyone on the mailing list. It is now three weeks to the day of departure for the first series of Gatherings on the East Coast and in Europe, and, on my instructions, Paul and Susan are continuing to prepare to leave on May 8th, even though the funds are not present to do so. Airline tickets are paid for and nonrefundable, and although Paul and Susan are willing, I will not require them to leave home not knowing if their home will be there for them when they return. I will cancel the trip if I have to!
Divine Love is reflected in love. God's love for man is rendered practical—embodied, manifest—in man's extending of that love to his brother. That is what I am inviting all to do.
April 14, 1992
PAUL: I guess I'm really sort of speechless. I mean, I feel like there's a lot to say, but ... (long pause) ... I don't know what to say.
It appears that we have a totally unworkable situation, here. We have a trip that you set up, and we do hear that there are people anxious and eagerly awaiting our arrival. But, there's no means to exist if we leave on the trip.
So, I'll try to be reasonable and say, "Okay, you have given us steps to take and we have taken those steps, and we are where we are. And although it seems useless to ask to know any more steps from you, I will ask, what is the next step?"
RAJ: You can count on it, Paul, that the next step will be a step of integrity, or we will not take it, just as the steps that have been taken have been steps of integrity. Of that you can rest assured, and feel some confidence.
I am going to ask you: What are we guilty of? And I mean you and me—because that is the suggestion that is presented to you, even though you tend to take it on yourself more than you share it with me or lay it on me. What have we been guilty of? And what justifies your sitting there sogging in ... h-m-mmm, yes, we'll use the word "disgrace"? Sogging in self-pity?
We have extended our hand. We have extended the intent of Love. Now, I do not say this to imply that we are guiltless and someone else is guilty. My intent here is to uncover the fact that the claim of "guilty" is absurd and is not to be embraced, validated, or energized.
PAUL: Is this you?
RAJ: Indeed, it is, Paul.
Now, having put a banquet on the table, to which no one has shown up, it is completely inappropriate to question your own integrity, because the table was well set, and the gift of abundance was given. Whether it is recognized or not does not call your integrity into question…or mine.
PAUL: So, what do we do? From the standpoint of this integrity that we have expressed, what do we do now?
RAJ: Indeed, Paul, we cannot go on to the next step until you withdraw judgment, whether it is on me, or the steps taken, or those who didn't respond to the feast.
Now, I have told you that your doubt and your frustration and your hurt feelings and reaction are unfounded, because nothing has occurred to which guilt can be attached. That is justification enough for withdrawing the judgment and being unconditionally willing to hear. And so, that is the next step. The one prior to the sort of step you were asking about.
PAUL: I guess I would ask, what is it that is happening that doesn't require judgment? Or, what is it that is happening, as it is seen without judgment being superimposed? What is it we're really doing?
RAJ: What is happening here, Paul, is education. Very simply put, it is education.
PAUL: Education of whom?
RAJ: Those who would associate themselves with our work.
PAUL: In other words, those who have either had contact with you, or have enjoyed and valued the materials that are available?
RAJ: The answer is, yes. It is as though everyone has come up to a speed bump and has slowed down to a point where there is not enough momentum to get over it. And there is a necessity for firmness, a very strong clear provision of direction, so as to overcome the inertia and gather the momentum necessary to once again move forward freely. It is just that no one wants to be that involved. No one wants to pay for someone else's good. After all, the suggestion is that they may be left out. But, as long as everyone is caring more about himself than another, one is left outside of the experience of union, of oneness, of having membership in the Brotherhood of Man. I'm going to modify that slightly and refer to it as the Brotherhood of Christs. Thus, we overcome the assumption that the "Brotherhood of Man" is indeed a brotherhood, but is a step down from the divine Brotherhood, when it is not.
PAUL: It could sound as though you are leveraging, pressuring for, or coercing a new kind of behavior.
RAJ: It could look like that because that is, indeed, what I am doing!
SUSAN: No wonder we feel pressured and pushed. Boy!
RAJ: Now, the necessity is for you and Susan to stand with me, and not between the lever and that which is being leveraged, else you will feel squashed—which is completely inappropriate, because you are standing, both of you, with complete willingness, without resistance. You are standing, making the gift. I know your ego gets in there and thinks about exercising some degree of control, but that is not the platform from which you are consciously being the majority of the time. That is not the position, which you have substantiated for yourselves as the context of your activities. Therefore, stand with me.
SUSAN: You know one thing, Raj, when real growth is called for, it's never a nice scenario.
RAJ: Not when it is resisted. That is correct. But, growth is natural, and, as I have said before, is not in itself strenuous.
SUSAN: I've discovered this afternoon that I really want these workshops to happen, and to have these tapes made available. What could I do in supporting that and bringing it forth? I've desired $50,000 to come through me, because I want to see them happen.
RAJ: I know, Susan. But, this is what everyone needs to be feeling and desiring. It is not that everyone needs to feel a personal responsibility, but the desire needs to be there to somehow be a participant in the movement of Love appearing as what Paul and I are doing together. You are putting everything on the line for this, and then you are asking for the barrel to be even deeper so that you can put more on the line. It is not all up to you. It is not all up to Paul. And, it is not all up to me. You can set the table, but you cannot eat for everyone else, or anyone else.
SUSAN: And yet a simple thing like a "charge" for the workshops would be responded to.
RAJ: Indeed, I understand what you are driving at. But the response would be because it would secure that one's good for that one. The payment guarantees that that one will get something for his money. And what I am pointing out is that it must guarantee that someone else gets something for that money, and, in the process, just happen to bless the one who has given it.
You see, none of this is a means of fund-raising. It is a means of promoting a change, a shift in consciousness, where, as it has been said, "one seeks one own in another's good"—meaning, one seeks one's own good in another's good.
This is not entertainment I am engaged in, but education. I am not putting on a show that everyone can come and watch, and leave and forget about, having had a little lift to his perspective in the midst of his other more important mundane habits of life-style. And so, I am, in this very "process" putting each one in the position of having to change, having to participate—being involved in the movement of clarification, themselves. And, indeed, if one wants to hold onto the old form of "you get what you pay for," rather than everyone gets what you pay for, and if, indeed, he wishes to continue to enjoy or benefit from involvement with me, it is going to be uncomfortable. If it weren't, there would be no learning. There would be no real change.
Yes, a Teacher of Truth is hard-nosed when that is what promotes learning and nothing else does.
What is inappropriate, here, is for you and Susan to be feeling that the demand is being directed at the two of you, when neither one of you is resisting, and both of you are inquiring, and both of you have been willing to act on the basis of Guidance.
I must reiterate, as I have said on other occasions: I am not some Universal Answering Machine providing stimulating little bits of metaphysical fol-de-rol to tease one's sense of righteousness and spirituality. Absolutely everything I do is that which promotes growth. And if one insists upon taking the things I am saying as though they are little morsels of truth, to be played with before they are swallowed; to be tantalized by before they are embodied, they misunderstand what is happening. And when the reality of it, when the real call for simple maturity registers with them, they are shocked. "I didn't think that was what it was about. I thought I was just going to get some nice ideas to impress my brothers with at the next cocktail party or the next Course in Miracles group.
SUSAN: You seem to be going against every popular and well-respected principle of behavior that America stands for. And you seem to be bringing out a new idea of "family," which certainly isn't "every man for himself." I guess it's no wonder you made everyone angry two thousand years ago.
RAJ: Life (with a capital "L") is not a popularity contest. And as Life penetrates the dream, and undoes it, it is not well received, except by those who are tired of the dream. Life (with a capital "L") is not going to conform to the nature and character of the dream. It is going to disturb the dream and rouse the dreamer out of the dream, leaving none of the dream intact!
PAUL: The suggestion is that not everyone knows of the need, and therefore they are not guilty of not responding.
RAJ: I know. But, we are not going to send out our balance sheet to everyone. And ever since the letter was sent out with the definition of "Gift" at the beginning, everyone has been aware that something is going on here relative to giving and relative to this work, and therefore no one is ignorant.
No one is innocent by virtue of ignorance. Each one is innocent by virtue of his or her Birthright as the Christ, as the child of God, as a member of the Brotherhood of Man—or, as I said earlier, the Brotherhood of Christs. And the call is for these Christs to embody and express their Christ-hood, and not hide behind a false sense of humanhood and "the so-called American Way."
There are those who will say they do not understand what I mean; that what I am saying doesn't compute or relate. And such is the way in which they will disclose to themselves that they are, indeed, learning, because their denial or resistance is their attempt to ground themselves in their well-established habit patterns when my words and meanings have ungrounded them. This is what the presence of the Christ does to the seeming presence of an ego. It undoes the status quo.
Am I getting mean, here?
RAJ: No. I am getting real. I am not catering to the illusion. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness comprehends it not. The darkness, the ignorance, is incapable of comprehending that which is its opposite, and that which undoes it, and that which uncovers its nonexistence.
SUSAN: That nonexistence being? Would you please explain "nonexistence"?
RAJ: The nonexistence of accumulated beliefs, concepts, ideas, which everyone has mutually agreed to use as the definition of reality, the definition of proper behavior, as the "giver of identity."
SUSAN: It would seem that for me to fully understand you, I would have to have an unreasonable passion for the truth.
RAJ: Indeed, you would, if you were deeply embedded in, and highly valued, your ignorance, because it would have to be a passion greater than the passion you have for your ignorance. But, you see, I have not been speaking to those who are committed to their ignorance. I have been reaching those who have a desire for truth, a passion for truth, if you will, that doesn't need to be great because their commitment to their ignorance is not great. And although I seem to be unyielding at this point of transition relative to the work, it does not mean that those to whom I am speaking are mired in resistance. It simply means that I have taken what seems to be a left turn when the expectation was of continuing forward, and I speak with firmness here to get the attention of those who are still tending to move forward when it is now appropriate to turn left. I am saying, "There is a learning here that you are involved in when you didn't expect to be involved, but simply thought that you could continue to imbibe the flow of nourishment and remain relatively unchanged."
Everyone is most happy for Paul to make the gift of me. I am saying that it is now time for everyone to be willing to give the gift of me to his and her brothers and sisters [by supporting the work], and be grateful that in order to do it, you do not have to live out of a suitcase for most half a year. I say that as a reminder that there are very real aspects of Paul's and Susan's lives that are inseparable from the gift that is given, which few think of, and it is well to be conscious of it and recognize the respect that is due.
Now, I know, Paul, that you sat down in distress to have a conversation with me that was private. But, this conversation is for everyone, and is to be transcribed and shared with everyone on the mailing list.